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Men with ADD/ADHD This forum is for men to discuss issues related to being a man with AD/HD.

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Old 05-13-17, 01:32 PM
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drunk peasant

If there is one thread running through my decades of life with ADHD, it would be that being present, and its derivatives like trying to be present, or pretending when I am not, tires me. Sometimes it doesn’t matter and thankfully sometimes the presence happens, moments and settings where I am in. Not really hyperfocus but engagement without feeling tired or in opposition. Like on a sunny beach. But other things, like trying to create an income, relationships related to that and life in a certain place have their own expectations. Also probably if I had a beach profession, it too would be draining. Internally, there is this (or are) moveable and moving target/s between what is engaging and draining, plus the ability to recognize what I need is not so constant or even something I inherently trust.
I have this image of a drunken peasant walking down a village path with houses on each side, first falling against once side with a fence, and then the other. He makes it to where he thinks he wants to go but the energy management system is not quite right.

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Old 05-14-17, 08:23 AM
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Re: drunk peasant

I am just learning how tough this condition can be and how much it has effected me.
I've enjoyed much, because I am just amazed at life. I am curious about things.
I've struggled with the common things, but enjoy the bigger things life offers.
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Old 05-14-17, 11:06 AM
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Re: drunk peasant

What do you mean by "being present"? To my mind, it means being mindful. Mindfulness means being aware of the present moment AND LOCATION...where you are and what you are doing - observing all that your senses are gathering without judging any of it.

It's not a thing you can do 24x7 - you would never go to the store to buy food, for instance, since that requires you to move your attention to the future at least enough to know that your next step is to get in the car and head to the store.

Rather, it's a check-in with have to practice it for some time so that you can even become aware of emotions you are experiencing and yet not feel physical pain from can get to the point of saying "I feel angry" and yet the inistent demand to "do something about it" drains, the moment you are consciously aware of the anger. The most fundamental emotions are now called "affects" and all of them have biophysical impacts on the body such as flooding the system with adrenaline. When in that agitated state, the thinking/reasoning centers of the brain are bypassed. You have to disconnect from the impulse urges that unpleasant emotions cause, just long enough to actually think.

Here's how it works for me - and bear in mind, this is like a garment that you must custom-tailor to yourself. I have a bell on my phone going off every 15 minutes. My initial objective was to re-check whether I'm spending time, at this moment, on one my claimed highest hopes this would help me end any side-track I was on. I start with a shortened body-scan awareness, sort of a ritual. If you have been doing a ritual for a while, then once you start, it engages the brain fairly completely which can break that connection to the urges. Then, I add my own thing, intended to make sure I'm working on what I believe I should.

My self-talk looks like this: "I notice am standing. I feel the floor pressing into my feet. I feel a slight breeze. I hear the furnace running. My back is stiff. I am now inhaling. I am now exhaling. I am now inhaling slower. I am now exhaling very slowly. Right now, I am sending an email. My first priority today was to fix the lawn mower. I give myself permission to spend 10 more minutes on email, then I will go out to the shop and work on the lawn mower."

That, to me, is a way of "being in the present".
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Old 07-14-17, 03:19 PM
ChRoTa3 ChRoTa3 is offline

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Re: drunk peasant

Prior to starting medication, I would feel dissociated a couple times a week. I'd be completely caught up in some random train of thought or whatever song was playing and wind up on the other side of town when I was really supposed to be going to school. One thing that helped during this period in my life was meditation/mindfulness training. The above poster gives a pretty good rundown of it.
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