ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADDForums FRONT OFFICE > New Member Introductions
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-24-14, 08:04 PM
bobocopy bobocopy is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 3
Thanks: 5
Thanked 7 Times in 1 Post
bobocopy is on a distinguished road
Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Hey all.

I'm a married 33 year-old male living in Atlanta, GA. I work as a software engineer.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive subtype) until about five years ago. Of course I'm frustrated that the world around me didn't figure it out sooner, but I don't blame anyone. I go back and forth on whether it was a bad thing that it took so long. See, I'm a white, middle class, heterosexual male who has learned to charm and manipulate when necessary; on top of it, I'm pretty clever. I've been able to get by, despite ADD. Even though I can think of a dozen instances where (based solely on grading criteria) I should have failed classes, I was let off the hook because, "Well, I know you're smart, and I know you understand the material, so you get a C... But you really need to start doing your homework!" If I'd had The Label, who knows what my teachers would have thought? Would I have been put into special classes? Would I have gone to college? Would I now be a decently-paid software engineer?

Treatment over the past few years has yielded slow-but-noticeable results. After a couple years of searching (and a lot of nausea), I've finally found the drug that works for me (Dexedrine). I've been seeing a therapist and I've been practicing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques or over a year now. I've done some workbooks, and I have some ADD coping skills. I've gotten good at curbing my tantrums. Overall, I feel like I've made progress.

There are a few areas, though, where I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

The amphetamines, for instance, have done wonders for my mood and concentration. Unfortunately, they have also greatly amplified a separate (but also executive-function-related) issue I have with compulsive sexual thoughts. I'll spare you all the details -- we're all just meeting for the first time, after all -- and just say that I'm not proud of the places these thoughts have taken me.

In starting to address these thoughts head-on, I told my wife about them back in November. While the contents of the thoughts are by no stretch of the imagination illegal, it's understandable that my wife was/has continued to be pretty upset. How could I keep my struggle a secret from her for years? When the drugs made it worse, why didn't I seek out help? What do the thoughts imply about our relationship? Are all men twisted perverts with secret internal lives? How is she ever going to find a way to feel better about this? Etc.

On the bright side, I'm dealing with the thoughts using a combination of CBT and some new meds (Luvox for the pharmacists out there). So far, that's been going very well.

The timing of this revelation couldn't be worse. After struggling with infertility for years, my wife and I found out late last year that we're pregnant. Great news! Amazing news! I've never had better news! But now, with a baby on the way, the chasm created by the years of ADD-Spouse-As-Child Syndrome is widened. I imagine that members of this forum are familiar with what I'm talking about:
  • last-minute or forgotten birthday and holiday presents
  • entire nights spent adjacent-but-apart with me in a digital world
  • the assumption that when I say, "We need to pay the gas bill," I mean, "Please pay the gas bill; I'm going to go read Reddit."
  • a failure to complete chores without repeated prompting
  • countless tantrums followed hours later by heartfelt-but-ultimately-empty promises to do better
You know, the things that make a lady feel special. Add "compulsive sexual thoughts that I've kept to myself for years" to the mix, and you can imagine I'm a bit apprehensive about adding a new member to the family. We both already love our unborn baby, but this is a mess.

I've been struggling a lot with work recently, too. Let me begin by saying: I'm very fortunate to have the job I have. I am paid well. The hours are pretty good. I enjoy my work. I work at a great company with cool people. I consider most of the people I work with to be friends. Most importantly, we all tend to be good at what we do.

And that's the part that scares me. I'm great at my job when I can hyperfocus. I'm a wonderful software developer when I'm neglecting my wife, my friends, my body and my hobbies. Unfortunately, those aren't things I'm willing to neglect anymore. And when baby gets here, I'll be damned if I'm the dad who invents a reason why work is more important than family.

Last week, I had a meeting with my manager. He knows I have ADD; he's been very patient with me over the past few months of us working together. During our meeting he told me (in not-so-many words), "If you can't stop being as ADD as you are, we won't be able to employ you anymore." I don't think he intends to let me go anytime soon (at least that's what he said), but I do think he means it. Even beyond the brutal capitalist line of thinking ("If you aren't making me money, why should I care about you?") I find myself nodding along in agreement with the sentiment:
  • I show up late and unprepared to meetings.
  • I forget to complete important tasks.
  • I forget important details about the tasks I am assigned to complete.
  • I find myself letting the team down on a daily basis.
  • I find myself promising to meet deadlines, only to spend the remainder of my time doing anything but working.
  • When I'm embarrassed or scared because of a missed deadline, I'll "fix" it by making an excuse or lying.
In short, I cost my company money while burning through the patience and respect my colleagues afford me.

If I heard someone else saying this, I'd ask, "Have you considered finding another career?" But right now, I'm the sole bread-winner. That role represents a great deal more to me than just the paycheck and the benefits. To me, it is the greatest example of a way in which I make my wife's life better. It demonstrates one concrete way in which I can be a good father. It represents the best -- perhaps only -- way in which I consider myself successful. To move to another job that doesn't pay as well, or worse to get fired... I'm not sure that I would be able to cope with that.

And yet, as important as the job is to me, I'm having a hard time finding inspiration. Working on my relationship with my wife takes up a lot of bandwidth. Working on myself takes up a lot of bandwidth. Coping with compulsive thoughts takes up a lot of bandwidth. Prepping for baby takes a lot of bandwidth. With all the work I'm doing, I'm having a hard time working on work.

So I'm joining these forums, adding a support community to my coping toolbox. I don't imagine that all my problems will magically go away just because I spoke up. I don't imagine all the hard work will suddenly get easier. I don't imagine that this is anything other than yet another step on the endless road of working on ADD.

I just want to be able to think that somewhere out there, someone will read this, and nod along. Maybe they'll feel less alone.

Anyway, here's a puppy:



Nice to meet you all.
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to bobocopy For This Useful Post:
anonymouslyadd (02-24-14), Azalea (02-26-14), MX2012 (02-24-14), Nicksgonefishin (02-27-14), SirSchmidt (02-28-14), stef (02-25-14), Stevuke79 (02-27-14)
  #2  
Old 02-24-14, 08:34 PM
silivrentoliel's Avatar
silivrentoliel silivrentoliel is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: the end of the road
Posts: 5,833
Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 4,946
Thanked 6,302 Times in 3,471 Posts
silivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond reputesilivrentoliel has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

that puppy is far too adorable

welcome to ADDF
__________________
dx: ADHD (1987), GAD (2012), Depression (2013), Cyclothymia (2013), & OSA (2014)

Follow ADDForums on Twitter & Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-24-14, 10:07 PM
execfunc's Avatar
execfunc execfunc is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 470
Thanks: 255
Thanked 426 Times in 233 Posts
execfunc is a glorious beacon of lightexecfunc is a glorious beacon of lightexecfunc is a glorious beacon of lightexecfunc is a glorious beacon of lightexecfunc is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

It is an endless road, because, at least until Ray Kurzweil's imminent reverse engineering of the human brain bears the fruit of therapeutic cognitive engineering, there 's just no cure.

I can understand some of the issues you describe, for what it's worth. Believe it or not, bobocopy, but it's a positive sign that you're going through all this right now. It means that you're serious about treating your ADHD and it means you're growing (I know, it sounds trite). It's well-known that reaching a certain threshold of life stressors (school, career, marriage, family, etc.) is what it takes for adults with ADHD to finally get diagnosed and treated. This is painful because it's hard to face our demons and even harder to throw ourselves into the work of exorcising them (speaking figuratively). I don't even know you, and I'm proud of you. I will tell you that family, your own family, makes it worth struggling with anything. You're in the good fight.

I have some further insight into some of the issues you struggle with. Feel free to PM me if you like. I'll be busy over the next day, but I will respond.
__________________
"… ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation. Self-regulation requires that a person have intact executive functions." – Dr. Russell Barkley
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to execfunc For This Useful Post:
bobocopy (02-24-14)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 02-24-14, 10:46 PM
MX2012's Avatar
MX2012 MX2012 is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Posts: 809
Thanks: 1,001
Thanked 686 Times in 405 Posts
MX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud of
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobocopy View Post
Hey all.

I'm a married 33 year-old male living in Atlanta, GA. I work as a software engineer.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive subtype) until about five years ago. Of course I'm frustrated that the world around me didn't figure it out sooner, but I don't blame anyone. I go back and forth on whether it was a bad thing that it took so long. See, I'm a white, middle class, heterosexual male who has learned to charm and manipulate when necessary; on top of it, I'm pretty clever. I've been able to get by, despite ADD. Even though I can think of a dozen instances where (based solely on grading criteria) I should have failed classes, I was let off the hook because, "Well, I know you're smart, and I know you understand the material, so you get a C... But you really need to start doing your homework!" If I'd had The Label, who knows what my teachers would have thought? Would I have been put into special classes? Would I have gone to college? Would I now be a decently-paid software engineer?

Treatment over the past few years has yielded slow-but-noticeable results. After a couple years of searching (and a lot of nausea), I've finally found the drug that works for me (Dexedrine). I've been seeing a therapist and I've been practicing cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques or over a year now. I've done some workbooks, and I have some ADD coping skills. I've gotten good at curbing my tantrums. Overall, I feel like I've made progress.

There are a few areas, though, where I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

The amphetamines, for instance, have done wonders for my mood and concentration. Unfortunately, they have also greatly amplified a separate (but also executive-function-related) issue I have with compulsive sexual thoughts. I'll spare you all the details -- we're all just meeting for the first time, after all -- and just say that I'm not proud of the places these thoughts have taken me.

In starting to address these thoughts head-on, I told my wife about them back in November. While the contents of the thoughts are by no stretch of the imagination illegal, it's understandable that my wife was/has continued to be pretty upset. How could I keep my struggle a secret from her for years? When the drugs made it worse, why didn't I seek out help? What do the thoughts imply about our relationship? Are all men twisted perverts with secret internal lives? How is she ever going to find a way to feel better about this? Etc.

On the bright side, I'm dealing with the thoughts using a combination of CBT and some new meds (Luvox for the pharmacists out there). So far, that's been going very well.

The timing of this revelation couldn't be worse. After struggling with infertility for years, my wife and I found out late last year that we're pregnant. Great news! Amazing news! I've never had better news! But now, with a baby on the way, the chasm created by the years of ADD-Spouse-As-Child Syndrome is widened. I imagine that members of this forum are familiar with what I'm talking about:
  • last-minute or forgotten birthday and holiday presents
  • entire nights spent adjacent-but-apart with me in a digital world
  • the assumption that when I say, "We need to pay the gas bill," I mean, "Please pay the gas bill; I'm going to go read Reddit."
  • a failure to complete chores without repeated prompting
  • countless tantrums followed hours later by heartfelt-but-ultimately-empty promises to do better
You know, the things that make a lady feel special. Add "compulsive sexual thoughts that I've kept to myself for years" to the mix, and you can imagine I'm a bit apprehensive about adding a new member to the family. We both already love our unborn baby, but this is a mess.

I've been struggling a lot with work recently, too. Let me begin by saying: I'm very fortunate to have the job I have. I am paid well. The hours are pretty good. I enjoy my work. I work at a great company with cool people. I consider most of the people I work with to be friends. Most importantly, we all tend to be good at what we do.

And that's the part that scares me. I'm great at my job when I can hyperfocus. I'm a wonderful software developer when I'm neglecting my wife, my friends, my body and my hobbies. Unfortunately, those aren't things I'm willing to neglect anymore. And when baby gets here, I'll be damned if I'm the dad who invents a reason why work is more important than family.

Last week, I had a meeting with my manager. He knows I have ADD; he's been very patient with me over the past few months of us working together. During our meeting he told me (in not-so-many words), "If you can't stop being as ADD as you are, we won't be able to employ you anymore." I don't think he intends to let me go anytime soon (at least that's what he said), but I do think he means it. Even beyond the brutal capitalist line of thinking ("If you aren't making me money, why should I care about you?") I find myself nodding along in agreement with the sentiment:
  • I show up late and unprepared to meetings.
  • I forget to complete important tasks.
  • I forget important details about the tasks I am assigned to complete.
  • I find myself letting the team down on a daily basis.
  • I find myself promising to meet deadlines, only to spend the remainder of my time doing anything but working.
  • When I'm embarrassed or scared because of a missed deadline, I'll "fix" it by making an excuse or lying.
In short, I cost my company money while burning through the patience and respect my colleagues afford me.

If I heard someone else saying this, I'd ask, "Have you considered finding another career?" But right now, I'm the sole bread-winner. That role represents a great deal more to me than just the paycheck and the benefits. To me, it is the greatest example of a way in which I make my wife's life better. It demonstrates one concrete way in which I can be a good father. It represents the best -- perhaps only -- way in which I consider myself successful. To move to another job that doesn't pay as well, or worse to get fired... I'm not sure that I would be able to cope with that.

And yet, as important as the job is to me, I'm having a hard time finding inspiration. Working on my relationship with my wife takes up a lot of bandwidth. Working on myself takes up a lot of bandwidth. Coping with compulsive thoughts takes up a lot of bandwidth. Prepping for baby takes a lot of bandwidth. With all the work I'm doing, I'm having a hard time working on work.

So I'm joining these forums, adding a support community to my coping toolbox. I don't imagine that all my problems will magically go away just because I spoke up. I don't imagine all the hard work will suddenly get easier. I don't imagine that this is anything other than yet another step on the endless road of working on ADD.

I just want to be able to think that somewhere out there, someone will read this, and nod along. Maybe they'll feel less alone.

Anyway, here's a puppy:



Nice to meet you all.
Hi Bobocopy:

Wow. First let me say I was impressed by your post. You are obviously smart. You have given a lot of thought about your issues and I think you have been even-handed and insightful in describing the various situations.

Three things stood out to me.

One was your wife's reaction. As I was reading, I was expecting a different reaction, one of shock, at your revelations about your sexual thoughts.

Two, at the same time, you noticed that the excessive sexual thoughts began when you started using amphetamines. That concerns me that amphetamines have such a dramatic negative side effect on your thought patterns. For me it was a red flag. You may want to check this out with a Dr. to seek changes in dosages or alternatives.

You are correct as you describe the effects your hyperfocusing has on your relationship and at work.

Three, when your boss, said, "If you can't stop being as ADD as you are, we won't be able to employ you anymore." Whoa, I would say your boss is unenlightened regarding what ADD/HD means. That is another red flag. Sadly, to me, it is another way to say "be normal, it's easier to deal with."

You are at a crossroads. Plus, you appear to be doing a lot to cope with how ADD/HD affects your life. It must feel daunting to face even more issues when you don't have more coping options.

I do not know how long you have been at your job. Plus, I do not know what the demand is for your skills. You may want to begin a preliminary search for similar positions to assess the job market for your skills. Always have a backup plan.

You are smart, you are talented, you care about your wife even though you neglect her, you want to be a loving father, your are introspective, you have a sense of humor, and you have taken many steps to address your issues. Pat yourself on the back for all of these good qualities you have.

I think that people with ADD/HD struggle so much to cope and they berate themselves for their "failures", they neglect to praise themselves and to see their good qualities. No matter what happens, don't lose sight of that wonderful person you are.
__________________
“At the ripe old age of 52 I attended my first conference on AD/HD….everyone around me was spilling coffee, losing their hotel key, and getting lost. I was home!” -AD/HD patient
(http://lifelistsblog.wordpress.com/2...uotes-on-adhd/)
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MX2012 For This Useful Post:
bobocopy (02-24-14)
  #5  
Old 02-24-14, 11:35 PM
bobocopy bobocopy is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 3
Thanks: 5
Thanked 7 Times in 1 Post
bobocopy is on a distinguished road
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

MX2012:

Thanks for the response. I've made some comments inline below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MX2012 View Post
Three things stood out to me.

One was your wife's reaction. As I was reading, I was expecting a different reaction, one of shock, at your revelations about your sexual thoughts.
Sure. The post was willfully bereft of the details of the revelation; I wanted it to be short enough that someone with ADD could finish reading it in one sitting.

At the time, she was shocked, then confused, then numb, then curious. These days, she oscillates between numb and curious. I find that she tends to ask the same questions over and over; not surprising, considering she's a super genius/facts processor. She and I are in counseling, searching for a coping strategy together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MX2012 View Post
Two, at the same time, you noticed that the excessive sexual thoughts began when you started using amphetamines.
Sorry, I wasn't quite clear about this in my original post. I've had the intrusive thoughts since adolescence. The amphetamines just cranked up the intensity and frequency.

Since talking to my wife, I've gotten onto a new medication regimen. I'm still on amphetamines (Dexedrine) but I take an SSRI (Fluvoxamine or "Luvox") that greatly curbs the thoughts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MX2012 View Post
Whoa, I would say your boss is unenlightened regarding what ADD/HD means. That is another red flag. Sadly, to me, it is another way to say "be normal, it's easier to deal with."
In keeping with the theme of "Let's keep this post to under 1500 words," I omitted some details here. I used quotes, but my boss never uttered the sentence, "If you can't stop being as ADD as you are, we won't be able to employ you anymore." He outlined some specific performance metrics that I was not meeting that were calling my value as an employee into question:
  • I'm not meeting deadlines.
  • I'm not taking an active part in weekly planning meetings.
  • I'm not communicating my roadblocks and needs to the team.
  • I'm not maintaining focus on tasks until they've reached completion.
According to our conversation, these are things that he "needs to start seeing progress on." The list reads like a list of executive function disorder symptoms, so I summarized it in my post as, "Stop being so ADD."

In reality, I give my boss a lot of credit. When I miss a deadline, he stands up on my behalf to the rest of the organization. He checks in regularly to verify that I'm making progress on my assigned work. Entirely beyond the scope of his job description and entirely of his own volition, he's even begun looking into ADD and how to manage someone with ADD. The guy is trying.

Unfortunately, when my symptoms impact my work, it's easy to draw a direct line between that and the company losing (or failing to make) money. And when he gets asked the hard questions about my performance over and over again by his bosses... In that situation, I think I'd feel a lot worse if he didn't ask me to step up my game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MX2012 View Post
You are smart, you are talented, you care about your wife even though you neglect her, you want to be a loving father, your are introspective, you have a sense of humor, and you have taken many steps to address your issues. Pat yourself on the back for all of these good qualities you have.
Thanks for the kind words. I truly appreciate it.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-25-14, 03:40 AM
Hawutwut's Avatar
Hawutwut Hawutwut is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 325
Thanks: 131
Thanked 315 Times in 160 Posts
Hawutwut is a name known to allHawutwut is a name known to allHawutwut is a name known to allHawutwut is a name known to allHawutwut is a name known to allHawutwut is a name known to all
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Welcome!

We may be in similar situations career-wise. My boss is organized, type A and not terribly compatible with ADD types. However, it was the bad feedback that finally prompted me to seek treatment, which I have. I'm the sole bread winner and career change seems difficult to pull off without major loss of income.

I haven't started taking meds, but have started working on coping skills and it is starting to help at least in meeting deadlines..

I'll never be organized or meet every deadline but I'll settle for fumbling my way through less than before. I've struggled for many years with organization, motivation, etc.

And I'm still struggling with motivation much as you are. Right now I'm working on removing distractions. But having taken a step in that direction I now have to deal head on with the motivation and getting into the mindset to get started on working.
__________________
[X] First consult [X] Full eval part 1 [X] Full eval part 2 [X] Diagnosis: ADHD
For me, thinking is like herding butterflies in a windstorm
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-25-14, 05:18 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 28,055
Thanks: 5,729
Thanked 32,400 Times in 15,007 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

It might be worth looking into ADA accommodations.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-26-14, 04:12 AM
Azalea's Avatar
Azalea Azalea is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Northern Lights
Posts: 17
Thanks: 17
Thanked 11 Times in 10 Posts
Azalea is on a distinguished road
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Hi and welcome to the forums I'm not gonna lie, I quickly scrolled down and saw the puppy picture and immediately hit the "Thanks" button first, 'cause it brought a smile to my face.

Your post was a really interesting read! Which CBT workbooks have you used? I'd like to check some out for myself.
__________________

"You can't take a picture of this, it's already gone."
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-27-14, 09:29 PM
MX2012's Avatar
MX2012 MX2012 is offline
Forum Guru
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Posts: 809
Thanks: 1,001
Thanked 686 Times in 405 Posts
MX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud ofMX2012 has much to be proud of
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Opps, I missed that 1500 word limit. So, you do pay attention to details!

About your bosses criteria.

I'm not meeting deadlines.
I'm not taking an active part in weekly planning meetings.
I'm not communicating my roadblocks and needs to the team.
I'm not maintaining focus on tasks until they've reached completion.

I know that when I was working-- I had multiple major ongoing projects and frequent "I need this X" projects.

I was proud of the fact that I never missed a deadline but I played head games with myself in order to accomplish this.

For my routine projects -- I would layout on paper, in an email and on a stickie the necessary steps. If the deadline was in two weeks, I would shorten the deadline to 1 week plus 1 day. Because I knew from experience that things happen to interrupt the work schedule.

I would tackle the bulk tasks first, so that as the deadline approaches, it was the finishing touches that I needed to finish.

Also, I spent time thinking about all the possible problems that could arise and the possible solutions. I would prepare for some of those possible problems. I did a lot of preplanning that others do instinctively.

When I was given a "I need this X" project, I would come in early to organize myself for that project. Determine the necessary steps and needed items/information. Often I would come in early and/or stay late to meet my artificial deadline.

Another thing I did was put a rubber band on my wrist. If I went to get a coffee and someone stopped me to chat, I would finger the rubber band to remind me to get back to my desk if the conversation was not directly applicable to my work.

Don't know if these concepts are of any help.

How many planning meetings are there? If there are more than one, at least go to one.

Which is your best method of communication? Face-to-face, email, or other? You write well, so maybe a weekly roundup email to the team from you about the status of your projects would work.

Also glad to hear that you and your wife are looking for solutions/counseling.

You are so honest and so capable of providing information, details and insight, I can not help but believe that the solutions you seek, you will find.
__________________
“At the ripe old age of 52 I attended my first conference on AD/HD….everyone around me was spilling coffee, losing their hotel key, and getting lost. I was home!” -AD/HD patient
(http://lifelistsblog.wordpress.com/2...uotes-on-adhd/)
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-27-14, 09:49 PM
Stevuke79's Avatar
Stevuke79 Stevuke79 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,756
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 9,610
Thanked 6,114 Times in 2,794 Posts
Stevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond reputeStevuke79 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Scared and Tired and Oh Look a Puppy

Welcome! The thing that stood out to me the most, and this may solve your whole problem, is that,..
OMG, that puppy is so cute!!
__________________

This planet is now property of the Sontaran Empire. Surrender your women and intellectuals. -Commander Strax
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:40 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums