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  #16  
Old 07-16-17, 10:01 PM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

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Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
his doctor wont medicate him because he is an Alchoholic and drug user in his past too
That's a concern, but not a reason to not medicate (in the majority of cases).


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  #17  
Old 07-16-17, 11:45 PM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

I have the blurt issue myself. No, it can't be trained out. Meds tend not to work very much with impulsivity. Not thinking things through does not equal rudeness. There is likely no malice intended. When I have hurt someone accidently with a blurt I feel quite bad.

The problem is, there really are ten billion ways to stick your foot in it. Another sympton of adhd can be the inability to generalize similar yet different scenarios. I have problems with generalizing information. I wish I didn't as it so very often makes me look stupid or sound srupid. To never blurt again would also be awesome.
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  #18  
Old 08-02-17, 02:29 PM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

it seems like its hopeless and I will have to either put up with it or leave. we will go a week or so and then it happens again. today about them whale watching. his mind goes to her and their experiences I guess because they were together 18 years. it comes out of his mouth before he can think to filter.
I know part of it is the add but its hurtful none the less
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  #19  
Old 08-02-17, 02:48 PM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

Quote:
Originally Posted by doglover29 View Post
it seems like its hopeless and I will have to either put up with it or leave. we will go a week or so and then it happens again. today about them whale watching. his mind goes to her and their experiences I guess because they were together 18 years. it comes out of his mouth before he can think to filter.
I know part of it is the add but its hurtful none the less
He is responsible for saying what he says, and you are responsible for what you think and what you feel.

So you could have a situation where he never changes, but you don’t hurt any longer when he speaks about his past.

It’s up to you if you want a different situation or to remain where you are.


Well-Wishes,
Ian
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  #20  
Old 08-03-17, 03:32 AM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

Precisely my dilemma, hoping this will go away but knowing it likely will not.
Thanks for your comments
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  #21  
Old 08-05-17, 01:21 PM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

Honestly, there are a lot of red flags in this for me that you may want to consider. He struggles with letting go of his past relationships. Not only does he talk constantly about his ex-wife but he is friends with an ex-gf on Facebook. Also, you said he is an Alcoholic and ex-drug user. Also you have told him several times that you don't like him talking so much about his ex and he still does it, which means there is a lot of unresolved issues for him and that relationship, and likely means he will struggle to move forward in a new one and which is why you seem to feel so insecure in this one and react so strongly with the mentions and interactions with exes. When people feel secure in relationships, there is no need to erase the past to embrace or develop a future so this should be information for you. This could be fueled more intensely by ADHD but goes beyond the ADHD. He's not ready emotionally for another relationship IMO.
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Old 11-01-17, 11:37 AM
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Re: Unfiltered speech

it is so frustrating! my partner brings up things him and ex partners have done 15-20 years ago! i know he doesnt mean anything by it but it used to drive me crazy! and i believe due to adhd its the entire story thats important like the fact that the ex was there is a detail they remember and just say it. I can tell a story about something ive done with an ex and i will leave that bit out but i see it like accidentally saying something to someone in front of a person who wasnt meant to know, does that make sense? its not intentional to upset you or make you feel bad its your reaction that will determine how the conversation escalates
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