Diagnosed ADD two months ago. Husband wants me to hurry up and be all better now.

[GimmeShelter]

I am almost 39. Just diagnosed 2 months ago. It's very confusing for me as you all know. Finding the right doc, and of course the rollercoaster of finding the right med. We were both very relieved when I got "figured out". But now I am feeling the pressure to get better fast now that I'm on meds. It's like I feel like I need to fake feeling cured so he won't get impatient with me. Whenever I have to switch meds he thinks it's just because I read something negative about that one. He has no clue how hard it is on me mentally and physically to have a bad reaction to a very powerful medicine. It's not like I have a cold. I don't know how long it will be before things improve. The frustration in our home is at a high level. I know he is taking the sex drive side effects very personally. It's hard to explain it to someone who won't take an advil. And when I do find the right meds that doesn't mean the battle is over. He doesn't take my other side effects personally. IE, no energy, loss of appetite. They are concerning. But he doesn't feel like it's something directed at him. So as I'm battling something he can't understand I have the added pressure of hurrying to be all better. We have so many other things going on. Financial troubles big time. I want to be there for him more. But now I'm starting to resent him for putting more on my plate. Now I'm getting frustrated. He's not seeing the small changes. Just wants me to be all happy and fun and feel sexual again. So how do I handle this. He is a wondeful man. He has been taking on the load of kids, etc. I know he wants his wife back. Anyone know how or what to say? I don't want to let this seperate feeling go too far. I wonder if he really even buys this ADD thing? Any advice is welcome.
Thanks.

[Michiko74]

I reccomend both you and your husband read the book "Delivered from distraction' by Ned Hallowell (sp?) MD. I think you'll both find the book helpful.

Sometimes a little education and a lot of talking helps. Try to create a situation where you're both able to talk about your feelings, but not take them literally. Harder said that done right? Yes your husband may want you get better 'quickly', but it seems like you understand where that urgency is coming from. He wants a partner but no doubt he also wants his sexy wife back!

I think you're both battling issues seperately, and not together. Clearly both of you have the same goals, and perhaps with the help of a professional, this is what will happen. Good luck!!

[kara59]

Hello Gimmeshelter,

First off congratulations for seeking treatment! What a huge step!

Sounds like your husband may benefit from education as mentioned above. Ask your doctor if he/she has any recommendations for you. Marriage therapy, Education classes.

A little self-awareness & patience goes a long way.

Best of luck to the both of you! Kara59