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  #1  
Old 07-27-16, 02:54 PM
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Emotional regulation

In the last weeks I have had some moment that were very stressful, and I reacted very emotional to it, and this did not help me.

I also notice that I can react emotional to very small triggers (internal/external), and this affects the way I present myself. I don't like this. For example, sometimes I do things very well, but because of the emotions inside I don't present my work with confidence.

These are new insights to me; of course I kind of knew this of myself, but this is the first time that I really recognize that this is not beneficial to me, and that I may want to give it some attention. I am sure that if I am a bit conscious in these situations, that I can regulate my emotions a bit better. Also, it can also help if I reflect on these situations, to find the deeper reasons why I respond this way. Often it has to do with something that I believe about myself or something else. For example, when someone gives me feedback and I respond emotionally, it may be because I believe that I am not allowed to make mistakes, and that I believe that all criticism is correct and that it means that I am a bad person and that I should not defend myself.

The first step to change is awareness, and I have made this step. I think this is already powerful, I notice that I am now aware when I am getting emotional and I can use this awareness to not let the emotions govern how I act, but to make better, more rational, decisions on how to procede. That has already benefited me this week. However, I think it will take a lot of time and effort to really improve this, but I am wiling to invest in that.

Do you also struggle with this? How does it affect you? Have you made improvements? Any advice?
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Old 07-27-16, 10:42 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

Great observations!

I can only think of one possible correction, that might help even more.

Emotional operating systems originate from the bottom up.

Consider "emotional regulation" and "emotional-self-regulation" are interconnected but not the same thing.

"Emotional regulation" refers to the emotional-affective consciousness "inside" originating from the bottom up.

Things you felt all your life, but never thought about til recently.

I do not think we lack "emotional regulation", but our bottom up "emotional regulation" "inside" is overactive and/or underactive (partly due to a lack of top down emotional-self-regulation)

"Emotional regulation" rules in early life, until emotional-self-regulation matures.

Emotional-self-regulation (awareness) refers to cognitive consciousness "inside", is a top down process that regulates, "emotional regulation".

I am sure I am making some mistakes and missing somethings but am really interested in discussing and learning more.




m
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Last edited by mildadhd; 07-27-16 at 11:10 PM..
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Old 07-28-16, 02:14 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Great observations!

I can only think of one possible correction, that might help even more.

Emotional operating systems originate from the bottom up.

Consider "emotional regulation" and "emotional-self-regulation" are interconnected but not the same thing.

"Emotional regulation" refers to the emotional-affective consciousness "inside" originating from the bottom up.

Things you felt all your life, but never thought about til recently.

I do not think we lack "emotional regulation", but our bottom up "emotional regulation" "inside" is overactive and/or underactive (partly due to a lack of top down emotional-self-regulation)

"Emotional regulation" rules in early life, until emotional-self-regulation matures.

Emotional-self-regulation (awareness) refers to cognitive consciousness "inside", is a top down process that regulates, "emotional regulation".

I am sure I am making some mistakes and missing somethings but am really interested in discussing and learning more.

m
Thanks for your comment mildadhd! You are right, emotional self-regulation is a better way to describe it. Basically, I want to not let my emotions to control my actions. However, I also don't want to ignore my emotions completely. I want to be aware of my emotions, feel them, but then to be as free as possible to choose how I act. This can lead to different outcomes, depending on the situation.

For example, when I am shopping for clothes (not one of my favorite activities ), when I feel that I am doubting, even if I don't know exactly why, I tend to listen to that and not buy the item, even though at the same moment I may feel a bit obliged to buy it, because of the shop personel. Because of this it is very rare that I buy something that I don't like. So, I take some emotions more serious then other emotions in order to make a good decision. However, it can still improve; even though I am able to make the right decisions, I cannot always do so confidently, because it feels a bit awkward to leave a shop without buying anything after trying a lot of things.

So, basically what I want to learn is to be (1) aware of my emotions quicker (in real-time, instead of realizing afterwards that I felt this way), (2) still be able to think clear no matter how I feel and make good decisions and (3) to act and communicate confidently (no matter how I feel).
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Old 07-28-16, 03:04 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

imagine a song you love or hate for a reason, prom or when you first heard metal/country when you where 12.... or maybe it was on an important date or something.

if you are anything like me one thing will happen, you will be teleported TO that moment. possibly not exactly, maybee just an emotional reaction at first, but the more you dwell on it the more vivid the realization becomes.

I'm not completely 100% on the terms here, but that is an example of top down to view bottom up. you hear the song, become "interested" for some reason that is either bat in the face apparent or not, and if ti's not you can most of the time remember why after a moment or two of reflection.

this is what mindfulness is to me, it allows me "visions of the past". meditation and just curiosity on why I feel a certain way.

I hate clothing shopping too, I will get lucid memories though of why, I remember shopping with my parents and things that went bad. why, dig deeper, be more mindfull, it was because I was sitting in church unable to be the person they wanted to be, spending hours torchering myself, falling asleep and my mom pinching me, I didn't want to hurt her so I relented, wondering why I couldn't be enough for her.... digging deeper, why do I need to prove myself to people, because I would sit in church wondering why I wasn't good enough so I try to BE good enough for everyone else... and not myself. I remember counting every single second of the hour and a half to stay awake so I wouldn't be the thorn I knew I was.

for me, it's getting to that root, the very bottom of the totem poll of the comorbid learning behavior and seperating all emotion from it. not that I won't love my mom, I love her unconditionally(and accepting all of this falls on me), but form the thought I won't be good enough, that the reason I sometimes feel the need to "prove" myself stems from that thought. that I could never prove myself to my parents while shopping for clothes because .... crap I didn't care when I was 14, the thought of having to put on 10 pair of clothes killed me.

what I've found is this emotional stuff is not logical, I can't logic it, but that is the logic of it. you scoop it out, reprocess, get it out of the way.
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Old 07-28-16, 10:16 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

Quote:
(1) aware of my emotions quicker (in real-time, instead of realizing afterwards that I felt this way),
Physiologically, affective neuroscience is aware of seven unconditioned instinctual primary emotional operating systems, in our brains.

SEEKING, RAGE, FEAR, LUST, CARE, GRIEF and PLAY (capitalized to distinguish between terms describing secondary conditioned emotional experiences, learning and memories.)

There is always, at least, one unconditioned instinctual emotional response system operating.

Bottom out "emotional regulation" automatically drives top in "emotional-self-regulation".


m
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Last edited by mildadhd; 07-28-16 at 10:37 PM.. Reason: automatically
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Old 07-30-16, 10:37 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

Example.

"Want" is a emotional feeling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksper View Post

..Basically, I want to not let my emotions to control my actions. However, I also don't want to ignore my emotions completely. I want to be aware of my emotions...



...So, basically what I want...

SEEKING/want

"Want" is a secondary emotional feeling originating from the primary emotional SEEKING response system. (bottom up learning and development)


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Old 07-30-16, 01:29 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

do you have a website that goes over this in more detail?

cause I would love to actually see it, cause understanding this stuff entimently really helps this brain.

when I when I didn't understand the power of full acceptence I was a slave to facebook (and other places) for a long time. trying to cheat time on blocker was easy and it was like hitting my head against a wall.

when I understood acceptance, then when I understood intermetent addictions like gamgeling, the two hit and I was like "facebook is my gambeling only not for money," and that knowledge along I was able to come home and install add blocker and block it for 7 hours at a time with no hesitation.
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Old 07-30-16, 02:09 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

I've got huge problems with emotional regulation. It might be my biggest problem. Meds helped me quite a bit with this but apart form that I haven't found anything else that helps.
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Old 07-30-16, 02:38 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

I have always been a crier. Even still.
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Old 07-30-16, 03:18 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

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I have always been a crier. Even still.
And a screamer. Yeller.

I have not any self-control.
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Old 07-31-16, 02:31 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksper View Post
I notice that I am now aware when I am getting emotional and I can use this awareness to not let the emotions govern how I act, but to make better, more rational, decisions on how to procede. That has already benefited me this week. However, I think it will take a lot of time and effort to really improve this, but I am wiling to invest in that.
I understand how being too emotional can maybe have people take you less seriously but I think we are not giving emotions the credit they are do. Of course you wouldnt want to cry if your boss wasnt happy with something that you did, but I am not so sure that feeling this way is so wrong. Ive been told I wear my heart on my sleeve and while in some cases that could be considered an insult, Id like to think it gives me a deeper understanding when it comes to empathy, sympathy and the human psyche.
Being bipolar never gave me any brownie points and can make it harder for people to take me seriously, but having my emotions just beneath the surface I think, means I am more in touch with them.
I dont know if I am making sense but it seems to give me a better understanding and be better in touch with my fellow humans.
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Old 07-31-16, 07:10 PM
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Re: Emotional regulation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksper View Post
In the last weeks I have had some moment that were very stressful, and I reacted very emotional to it, and this did not help me...
Another example.

Secondary, fight or flight emotional distress responses, originate from the negative feeling primary, RAGE system and FEAR system, (along with the positive feeling SEEKING system).

RAGE/fight or FEAR/flight distress responses.

Jacksper. My point partly is, it has helped me tremendously to also consider our common instinctual unconditioned primary emotional response operating systems along with the top down awareness/mindfulness approach in the OP, when considering how bottom up primary-secondary "emotional regulation", and top down tertiary awareness and emotional-self-regulation originate, learn, develop and work together.



G
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Last edited by mildadhd; 07-31-16 at 07:29 PM..
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Old 08-01-16, 03:00 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

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Originally Posted by Drogheda2 View Post
do you have a website that goes over this in more detail?

cause I would love to actually see it, cause understanding this stuff entimently really helps this brain.

.
A more in depth review of "The Archaeology of Mind".


Quote:
..Panksepp and Biven have now published a text that delves with great detail into the neural architecture of the human emotional life, with particular focus on its ancestral origins. This is a worthwhile endeavor, with implications for preclinical and clinical models of aberrant emotional behavior and regulation. In summary, Panksepp and Biven’s model is as follows. The emotional “brainmind” system is adaptive for providing humans and other living entities for which this structure has evolved intrinsic and evaluative information about their progress in the quest for survival. Whereas positive emotions are indicative of the experience of situations that are positively correlated with survival, negative emotions may be outcomes of the evaluation of situations that negatively correlate with survival. These “raw” emotions are “ancestral memories” that have been phylogenetically important for survival and, as such, have been genetically coded to be inborn capacities. The bulk of the text focuses on their essential nature as primary-process instinctual emotions—the most basic, primordial affective processes. Primary-process emotions are most important (or influential) in infants and other mammals. Here, these generate fixed (instinctual) behavioral responses and emotional arousal to a specific set or finite number of precipitating events. Although primary-process emotions initially control higher brain cognitive activities, with normal development, the higher cognitive abilities rooted in the neocortex come to control primary-process emotions. In Panksepp and Biven’s organization of the levels of emotional control, primary-process emotional networks regulate secondary-process emotions. Secondary-process emotions are unintentional learning and memory mechanisms grounded in the basal ganglia that include simple classical conditioning, instrumental and operant learning, and behavioral and emotional habits. During the course of development, these learning-memory mechanisms create object relations and contingencies that become linked to tertiary affects and neocortical awareness functions. Tertiary processes include emotional ruminations, evaluations, and thoughts that influence free will and intentions to act. Panksepp and Biven describe with illustrations the taxonomy of the primary-process affective network in mammals. This network comprises at least seven emotional systems, homologous across mammalian species, with neurobiology grounded in subneocortical structures. These include the seeking, rage, fear, lust, care, grief, and play network systems—the most important being the seeking system...
http://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Fullte...d_Lucy.15.aspx
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Old 08-01-16, 04:04 AM
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Re: Emotional regulation

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I've got huge problems with emotional regulation. It might be my biggest problem. Meds helped me quite a bit with this but apart form that I haven't found anything else that helps.
It is possible I was born with a emotionally hypersensitive temperament and also experienced consistent abnormal emotionally distressed circumstances, resulting in consistently abnormal distressed bottom up "emotional regulation", interfering slightly with development of my top down emotional-self-regulation, in early life, before the age of 4-7.

In turn, my slight lack of development of emotional-self-regulation, has resulted in slightly less top down self-control over my bottom up "emotional regulation", after the age of 4-7, until now.

Awareness, free play and medication have really helped.

G
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Last edited by mildadhd; 08-01-16 at 04:30 AM..
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