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Old 07-01-18, 01:06 AM
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Re: How does your emotional environment(s) influence you?

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Originally Posted by mildadhd View Post
Sorry, I do not understand the term narcissist, or why you are focusing on the term narcissist?

Do you consider all negative feeling emotional environments caused by "narcissists"?

Example

If I hypothetically come home tired and irritable after working overtime and travelling long hours everyday, creating a negative feeling environment for people who live with me, would I be considered a narcissist?






M
You will not meet many narcissists in your life. These are highly toxic people who cause significant damage. Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. I've spent the better part of the last 2 years trying to rebuild myself after being raised to be a lamb to the slaughter and a narc attractant. I had to change myself to not attract this sort of attention. Learn boundaries and other strategies to keep myself safe.

If you were raised by a narcissist you will attract more of these people. There is a lot of information out there.

A person doesn't have to be a narcissist to be toxic but if tou have a toxic workplace or group you may find that the ringleader is a narcissist.
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Old 07-02-18, 02:00 AM
mildadhd mildadhd is offline
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Re: How does your emotional environment(s) influence you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tudorose View Post
You will not meet many narcissists in your life. These are highly toxic people who cause significant damage. Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. I've spent the better part of the last 2 years trying to rebuild myself after being raised to be a lamb to the slaughter and a narc attractant. I had to change myself to not attract this sort of attention. Learn boundaries and other strategies to keep myself safe.

If you were raised by a narcissist you will attract more of these people. There is a lot of information out there.

A person doesn't have to be a narcissist to be toxic but if tou have a toxic workplace or group you may find that the ringleader is a narcissist.
I have no doubt that the examples you are describing would have a negative influence.

I really appreciate you sharing your painful personal experiences, to help educate us.

I am also focusing on discussing about emotional environments that are not caused by narcissist or psychopaths.

Example, when my son was young, after work/school we would go play at the park everyday, and we would bring a football, or a soccer ball or a baseball to have a catch. (Or go to a driving range together, etc.)

I found having a catch with the ball not only promoted excercise, but doing something together also promoted healthy attachment and attunement between us, essential for healthy development.

Then one day I hurt my back at work, and I could not have a catch with my son very much anymore.

For years after I had to make work a priority to pay the bills due to my worsening back pain.

Not only was I not able to have a catch without causing myself physical pain, I became very grumpy, especially in the evenings after I got home after work, unintentionally also causing a negative emotional environment for my son.

I often missed that healthy attachment and attunement relationship that was previously being "exercised" everyday.

As much as I intended not to be grumpy, it was really hard not to be, and I could tell our relationship suffered.

Finally, because it was becoming to hard to even walk after work, I was forced to get a much less paying job, that required much less physical work.

And even though I am now getting payed about half my normal wage, I have noticed a huge improvement in my attitude at home for the better.

Making the emotional atmosphere more pleasant for everyone.

My son actually seems like he likes being around me again, and I feel so much better to be able to promote some type of pleasant relationship with him, again, without creating such a grumpy atmosphere.










M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 07-02-18 at 02:15 AM..
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