ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adult Diagnosis & Treatment
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Adult Diagnosis & Treatment This forum is for the discussion of issues related to the diagnosis of AD/HD

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-28-15, 11:51 AM
icarusinflames icarusinflames is offline
Suspended Account
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: .
Posts: 424
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 396
Thanked 470 Times in 238 Posts
icarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of light
Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

I just read a very interesting description of "Speaking Circles" and I wish I could participate in this! I also adore the description of ADD difficulties in communition here:


Quote:
Listening Problems

People with ADD often have poor eye contact--darting eyes, which can convey disinterest, distrust, or a lack of caring. They tend to listen selectively to the parts of a conversation that interest them, and tune out the rest. They tend to spend a lot of time in their head forming a reply. An idea may come to them when someone is speaking, yet they can't hold onto that idea and listen at the same time, so they have a need to interrupt and blurt their thought out. They have a tendency to judge on little information, to stereotype and label. They often don't receive information objectively, and have a problem with the executive function of brain which involves separating emotion from information. They have a tendency to listen defensively, judging the speaker and judging themselves as inadequate. This distracts them and may cause them to appear insincere They may nod in agreement but have actually lost attention and feel bored.

They may be dishonest in their communication because they feel beleaguered by people, especially by a partner, such as a spouse, and may agree to anything just to get that person off their back. They sometimes fabricate a response because they feel humiliated at having forgotten something that was said.

How Speaking Circles solve listening problems

Speaking Circles teach how to have better eye contact. With the speaker's time limited to 3 or 5 minutes, the listener learns to give full attention to each speaker. By not being allowed to interrupt, the listener can relax and not have to be concerned about breaking into the conversation.

more here:
http://education.jhu.edu/PD/newhoriz...it%20Disorder/
That is the clearest description I have read yet about my alarming problems in communicating with others. It's truly alarming to me how I feel still about eye contact, and how hard it is to listen and wait my turn to talk. I feel like i have to literally take notes as I listen to people or I would never remember what I was going to say.

Whatever I do hear, I feel like I can remember. It's the tuning out times that suck. Plus I tend to imagine a message in things that isn't always there, although sometimes I am pretty accurate! That is the maddening thing, where you are sometimes right but often wrong. You don't know what is true and life starts to feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland with people contradicating you so veryoften!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to icarusinflames For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (04-28-15), Tmoney (04-28-15), Unmanagable (04-28-15), zannie (04-28-15)
  #2  
Old 04-28-15, 01:33 PM
Tmoney's Avatar
Tmoney Tmoney is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Palm City Florida
Posts: 1,819
Thanks: 3,109
Thanked 3,323 Times in 1,307 Posts
Tmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond reputeTmoney has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

The description is spot on for me except the eye contact. For some reason I can look right into someone's eyes without getting uncomfortable.

As a matter of fact I tend to make the other person nervous.
I use to be humiliated about missing most of the conversation. Now I look into the other persons eyes and say; "Can I be honest with you, I did not hear a single word you said after.......
Like forgetting someone's name right after you just met them. Now I say right to them, "excuse me. I'm sorry, you just told me your name and I already forgot it! I may even say to them, "You may have already noticed that something is not right with me!"

I don't care anymore. I'm going to be honest and be me and if they except that great and if they don't great.

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music!"
~George Carlin
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tmoney For This Useful Post:
icarusinflames (04-28-15), Unmanagable (04-28-15), zannie (04-28-15)
  #3  
Old 04-28-15, 01:38 PM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,257
Thanks: 3,079
Thanked 4,156 Times in 2,144 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

I like the eye contact part. I don't like the stereotyping and judgemental part. It's usually other people stereotyping and judging us!

I guess they are just saying some of us do that though so I guess it's fine (feels a little like "stereotyping" though).
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post:
icarusinflames (04-28-15), Unmanagable (04-28-15), zannie (04-28-15)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 04-28-15, 02:19 PM
icarusinflames icarusinflames is offline
Suspended Account
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: .
Posts: 424
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 396
Thanked 470 Times in 238 Posts
icarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmoney View Post
The description is spot on for me except the eye contact. For some reason I can look right into someone's eyes without getting uncomfortable.

As a matter of fact I tend to make the other person nervous.
I use to be humiliated about missing most of the conversation. Now I look into the other persons eyes and say; "Can I be honest with you, I did not hear a single word you said after.......
Like forgetting someone's name right after you just met them. Now I say right to them, "excuse me. I'm sorry, you just told me your name and I already forgot it! I may even say to them, "You may have already noticed that something is not right with me!"

I don't care anymore. I'm going to be honest and be me and if they except that great and if they don't great.

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music!"
~George Carlin
Ok that's very interesting! Although if you stare too directly without breaking eye contact, that actually is just as confusing to people. I've experimented with where I look at people too, which can get me in trouble. It may be smart to leave out the details there. lol

I admire your attitude! You do have a lot of good ideas really
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to icarusinflames For This Useful Post:
Tmoney (04-29-15)
  #5  
Old 04-28-15, 02:23 PM
icarusinflames icarusinflames is offline
Suspended Account
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: .
Posts: 424
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 396
Thanked 470 Times in 238 Posts
icarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

Quote:
Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
I like the eye contact part. I don't like the stereotyping and judgemental part. It's usually other people stereotyping and judging us!

I guess they are just saying some of us do that though so I guess it's fine (feels a little like "stereotyping" though).
Yes I really do dislike that stereotyping thing, although I can see now that I am guilty and I was sort of thinking about that, whether other people are guilty of this too!

I tend to stereotype groups of people who I most would like to have accept me. As a way to explain to myself why they are that way, and why I am rejected. A simple understanding can help when you feel like you are personally being rejected or hated upon. So you make up a story like "All women are only interested in a guy with a lot of money" to explain the frustration of trying to connect and not finding someone special.

I think all people do that, but I know I do it excessively with the 2 groups I most have desired:

1- Men who I wished would find me attractive, instead of being such pigs. And the reason I can't find a man to be loyal to me is because they all watch porn and are foolish panty sniffers.
2- Women who I wished would treat me like I am a woman too and just accept me and stop being such uptight prissy little jerks.

so you see how that works! I realize this confession will not make me popular around here, but for the sake of explaining how I stereotype people and that I know it's juvenile and weak of me to do that.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-28-15, 05:51 PM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,257
Thanks: 3,079
Thanked 4,156 Times in 2,144 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

Quote:
Originally Posted by icarusinflames View Post
I realize this confession will not make me popular around here, but for the sake of explaining how I stereotype people and that I know it's juvenile and weak of me to do that.
Oh no, I think admitting weaknesses makes you very popular here.

I think my response is probably not the popular one. I think I actually stereotype and judge less than most people and I wonder if the article is wrong and majority of us are like me. I'm actually quite nonbiased and don't put people in boxes as much as others (I've been specifically told this by others). Reason being is that I'm a minority in almost every sense of the word so consciously know what that feels like. Plus I've got great strengths and great weaknesses. So I look at others in an unbiased way too as I know people aren't good/bad, black/white. Everyone thinks differently and needs different things to succeed.

I know I group "NTs" sometimes but honestly, everyone groups people sometimes and I do wonder if some of us are just being extra hard on ourselves on some things.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-28-15, 06:36 PM
icarusinflames icarusinflames is offline
Suspended Account
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: .
Posts: 424
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 396
Thanked 470 Times in 238 Posts
icarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of lighticarusinflames is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Speaking Circles, for ADHD at Johns Hopkins

Quote:
Originally Posted by acdc01 View Post
Oh no, I think admitting weaknesses makes you very popular here.

I think my response is probably not the popular one. I think I actually stereotype and judge less than most people and I wonder if the article is wrong and majority of us are like me. I'm actually quite nonbiased and don't put people in boxes as much as others (I've been specifically told this by others). Reason being is that I'm a minority in almost every sense of the word so consciously know what that feels like. Plus I've got great strengths and great weaknesses. So I look at others in an unbiased way too as I know people aren't good/bad, black/white. Everyone thinks differently and needs different things to succeed.

I know I group "NTs" sometimes but honestly, everyone groups people sometimes and I do wonder if some of us are just being extra hard on ourselves on some things.
You're just a beautiful person, that's all, who has been blessed with an interesting life.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to icarusinflames For This Useful Post:
acdc01 (04-29-15)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
From Johns Hopkins. . . Amtram General Medication Discussion 0 08-19-13 07:07 PM
JOHNS HOPKINS TRIAL..ages 6-15 xraylady33 General ADD Talk 0 08-05-08 08:14 PM
Can you mix ephedrine, 5-HTP &/or St. John's Wort? Struggling Nutrition 9 11-17-04 11:43 AM
On Public Speaking... Trooper Keith Adult Education 7 10-10-04 12:45 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums