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  #691  
Old 12-12-17, 05:52 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
Two brothers, no sisters (one brother has aspbergers - sp)

(Technically there's 4 brothers but 2 are on my dad's side and I have exactly zero contact with my biological dad's side of the family so I don't count them as brothers because I have only seen them twice and don't consider my biological dad as family)
It should have been hard for you, i feel really stupid i just act like spoiled child who is whinning about why i cant get everything the way i want.
My problems must be nothing when they are compared to yours.
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  #692  
Old 12-12-17, 05:53 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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  #693  
Old 12-12-17, 05:59 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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It should have been hard for you, i feel really stupid i just act like spoiled child who is whinning about why i cant get everything the way i want.
My problems must be nothing when they are compared to yours.
As far as I'm concerned, my dad decided to sod off (I was about to say something slightly stronger but decided not to swear) when I was a little baby so he has no right to be in my life. My mum suffered from severe natal depression thing when I was a baby and it was only because grandparents stepped in and took all three of us in under their roof that I avoided going into care

You're not acting like a spoiled child, my older brother had it worse because he could remember my dad leaving and not coming home whereas I can't remember it because I was much too young

Whether any of this contributed to my mental health issues idk. I know my older brother had seperation anxiety for a long time (and I can actually remember his seperation anxiety carrying on), my younger brother (with aspergers) has seperation anxiety too about being away from people he knows, which is very draining

And my spell checker is now being a big fart, red lines everywhere
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  #694  
Old 12-12-17, 06:52 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
As far as I'm concerned, my dad decided to sod off (I was about to say something slightly stronger but decided not to swear) when I was a little baby so he has no right to be in my life. My mum suffered from severe natal depression thing when I was a baby and it was only because grandparents stepped in and took all three of us in under their roof that I avoided going into care

You're not acting like a spoiled child, my older brother had it worse because he could remember my dad leaving and not coming home whereas I can't remember it because I was much too young

Whether any of this contributed to my mental health issues idk. I know my older brother had seperation anxiety for a long time (and I can actually remember his seperation anxiety carrying on), my younger brother (with aspergers) has seperation anxiety too about being away from people he knows, which is very draining

And my spell checker is now being a big fart, red lines everywhere
If i made you remember the things that you dont want to remember.
I am sorry , i always ask curious questions

I hope things will be better for you in the future
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  #695  
Old 12-13-17, 05:05 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Thanks Emre, the years I don't want to remember are 2011/2012
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  #696  
Old 12-13-17, 07:05 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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It should have been hard for you, i feel really stupid i just act like spoiled child who is whinning about why i cant get everything the way i want.
My problems must be nothing when they are compared to yours.
In my opinion there is not much use of comparing one's own suffering against that of another. We all have our own deal of suffering in our lives and all deserve to be treated and treat ourselves with empathy and compassion for it.
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  #697  
Old 12-13-17, 07:06 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Glad you're telling this story, Midnightstar. Makes me understand you and where you're coming from better.
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  #698  
Old 12-14-17, 10:00 AM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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In my opinion there is not much use of comparing one's own suffering against that of another. We all have our own deal of suffering in our lives and all deserve to be treated and treat ourselves with empathy and compassion for it.
I don't know most of times people criticized me for not being grateful for what i have.
Sometimes i think that maybe they are right.
Anyways , thank you
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  #699  
Old 12-14-17, 10:10 AM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Basically 2011 is when I got a massive crack right the way down my heart due to something that happened and March 2012 finished the job that was started in 2011.

That's as much as I can explain right now.
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  #700  
Old 12-14-17, 11:58 AM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Saw my Psych. the other day and she bumped me from 5 mg Ritalin, to 27 mg Concerta. But I can't afford the Concerta (generic), so the pharmacist said I should ask them to prescribe me higher dosage Ritalin. In the meantime, I took 3 of my 5mg Ritalin pills this morning cause I have extra. Now I'm feeling an adrenaline rush, like I need to run out and burn off a bunch of energy or do something crazy.
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Old 12-14-17, 12:01 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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Saw my Psych. the other day and she bumped me from 5 mg Ritalin, to 27 mg Concerta. But I can't afford the Concerta (generic), so the pharmacist said I should ask them to prescribe me higher dosage Ritalin. In the meantime, I took 3 of my 5mg Ritalin pills this morning cause I have extra. Now I'm feeling an adrenaline rush, like I need to run out and burn off a bunch of energy or do something crazy.
I wish i was like you , sometimes it feels like 54+20+10 mgs of methylphenidate isnt enough for me
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Old 12-14-17, 12:55 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

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I wish i was like you , sometimes it feels like 54+20+10 mgs of methylphenidate isnt enough for me
Yeah, I don't know if I will be one of those people that responds well to a low dosage, or if this is just a one time thing or what. I'm not even sure it's good to feel super hyper. At least I know it's doing something. My kids are still on a higher dosage than me, but everyone is different.
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  #703  
Old 12-14-17, 01:22 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Happiness is a choice.

Not that you can choose to be happy, and you simply become so.

But you can allow for it, choose to remain open to its possibility and arrival.

You can know and understand that it cannot be captured or held, and so in witness thereof, there is no wanting or striving to grasp. It cannot be chased, nor can it be tricked.

Inside you is a garden, and all things may grow there. But if happiness is to visit you, the garden must be well-tended. That which bears foul fruit must be weeded out, and the soil must be turned over in each season of life.

Happiness is the choice to cultivate your garden so as to attract and invite happiness to remain just long enough to germinate, sprout, and begin to tendril...

...in the hope it will someday bloom, and in time, go to seed, such that it becomes perennial.

You have a choice. And with that choice, do you tend, and if so, do you cultivate?

Sour and decaying fruits plucked from gnarled vines do not nourish.

A garden well-tended attracts all kinds of life which exist in balance and reciprocity with one another.

And so it is with you.

What grows in your garden fair?


Blesséd Be,
Ian
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  #704  
Old 12-14-17, 05:45 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

Did some shopping at Ikea with the parents today and have added some things to the interior of my new appartment. Among other things a Christmas tree and a large money tree. My appartment really starts to look fabulous!
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Old 12-14-17, 05:46 PM
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Re: Come on In If You're Online And Say Anything: Part III

One more day of work before I get my days off, better get some sleep before work, goodnight wonderfulliest forum
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