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  #1861  
Old 11-01-18, 03:57 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I'm becoming bitter, angry and frustrated guys.

And I don't know how much of it is justified and how much of it is just me fighting things that I shouldn't be.

Almost every group I goto anymore I end up getting super upset in. In my mind it all seems justified...though I realize that maybe a lot of it might not be...that maybe alot of it is on me.

But at the same time...I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave group...even though I think it's gone downhill over the months, and even though I don't put the effort and energy into it like I use to (I feel it's kinda hard to when I think the group's become a ******* joke, I don't trust some of the people there, it's become less of a work based group, and I'm feeling more and more frustration, anger and attitude with the main person who runs the group...meanwhile the other person who runs it was my old case manager who I think did a real **** job with me so I fired...

But I feel so vulnerable...like I just don't have much right now in life. If I lose group and the support I get through the center...well ****! Then what? It's not like I have friends or family to help support me with things in this town...I don't much like the thought of having nothing here in my town.

...
There's also the possibility though that I'm becoming unhealthy for the group...because I do get upset a lot in the group and I am pretty vocal in expressing myself and my frustrations...it's like group after group though I end up having heated discussions and confruntations. I'm butting heads a ton with the main lady who runs the group lately...and again, I feel like it's justified and that I'm right in feeling upset and frustrated with her...
And yet I'm not able to distinguish if I'm actually wrong anymore. I can't tell if I'm in the right to be upset by the things she does.
Maybe I'm the one in the wrong and I'm just too stuborn to admit it?

I don't know.

I'm frustrated and damn if group isn't becoming a very negative drain on me.

I wish I knew what to do here.

I'd love some suggestions. I'm committed to continuing group...but I don't know.

I'm messed up.

I'll bring some of this up in my next group and see what they have to say.

I don't know. Just venting.

(((Hugs)))
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  #1862  
Old 11-01-18, 04:30 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I was thinking today...maybe my anger issues have to do with the fact that I don't have anyone to vent with anymore in the 3d world at the level I was able to vent with my mom. I mean I have people...but no one I can be as candid and open with. Unguarded.
So I don't have that release and it's all just bottling up and I SO want that outlet again.

Just a thought.

Am I losing my mind? For the most part I'm doing fine.
All my frustrations and such seem to center specifically with group, my therapist (the lady who is the main runner of the group) and my fired case manager.

I feel like if I cut these out of my life...without losing all of the support and security I get with being a part of the center itself...my life would become MUCH lighter.
I think what I'm dealing a lot with is being misunderstood, a lot of judgment and stigma. I'm sick of people's attitudes haha.

But again...maybe I'm losing my damned mind and maybe it's me with the bad attitude. Maybe I'm in the wrong.

I'm going to stop thinking about this for now.
haha damn I was in a good mood before going to group >.<'
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  #1863  
Old 11-01-18, 05:00 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by BlimeyMooshroom View Post
lol did I say "which" instead of "wish"? Oh my... haha
Don't worry about it, Mooshroom

And some hugs for you as well, psycho
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  #1864  
Old 11-01-18, 05:34 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

(((Mid-Mids)))
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  #1865  
Old 11-01-18, 06:45 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I wouldn't worry there's alot of buttholes out there and non caring non understanding people in general.theres alot of people who have a me problem in this country
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  #1866  
Old 11-01-18, 06:47 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Trades for the count choculas cereal instead lol
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  #1867  
Old 11-01-18, 07:20 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post

I'll bring some of this up in my next group and see what they have to say.
I was going to suggest bringing your concerns up in group. I think you need to be humble and careful how you bring them up though. Remember your concerns pertain to other members in the group and the group leader, which is why I suggested being careful and humble in your approach not to offend.

I think bringing up your concerns and expectations of group is important. Having a civil, open and honest discussion is the best route imo. Communication is the key without offending or embarrassing anyone.

I hope it works and it can make group more mutually beneficial for all. Best of luck.
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  #1868  
Old 11-01-18, 07:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Sorry you're having such a hard time psycho.

In addition to your group, I don't suppose you live close enough to a town that has a meetup group you can join or something? Like I saw one by the tetons for RPG and Board Game collective.

Maybe you can find some friends you can talk and vent to. I imagine it's a lot harder in Wyoming with all your big open spaces though.

I'm giving the meetup groups a shot right now and seeing what happens myself. Can't say I've met anyone yet but I've only gone to one meetup so hoping there is one group with one person I might connect with.
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  #1869  
Old 11-01-18, 08:01 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I'm becoming bitter, angry and frustrated guys.

And I don't know how much of it is justified and how much of it is just me fighting things that I shouldn't be.

Almost every group I goto anymore I end up getting super upset in. In my mind it all seems justified...though I realize that maybe a lot of it might not be...that maybe alot of it is on me.

But at the same time...I don't know what to do. I don't really want to leave group...even though I think it's gone downhill over the months, and even though I don't put the effort and energy into it like I use to (I feel it's kinda hard to when I think the group's become a ******* joke, I don't trust some of the people there, it's become less of a work based group, and I'm feeling more and more frustration, anger and attitude with the main person who runs the group...meanwhile the other person who runs it was my old case manager who I think did a real **** job with me so I fired...

But I feel so vulnerable...like I just don't have much right now in life. If I lose group and the support I get through the center...well ****! Then what? It's not like I have friends or family to help support me with things in this town...I don't much like the thought of having nothing here in my town.

...
There's also the possibility though that I'm becoming unhealthy for the group...because I do get upset a lot in the group and I am pretty vocal in expressing myself and my frustrations...it's like group after group though I end up having heated discussions and confruntations. I'm butting heads a ton with the main lady who runs the group lately...and again, I feel like it's justified and that I'm right in feeling upset and frustrated with her...
And yet I'm not able to distinguish if I'm actually wrong anymore. I can't tell if I'm in the right to be upset by the things she does.
Maybe I'm the one in the wrong and I'm just too stuborn to admit it?

I don't know.

I'm frustrated and damn if group isn't becoming a very negative drain on me.

I wish I knew what to do here.

I'd love some suggestions. I'm committed to continuing group...but I don't know.

I'm messed up.

I'll bring some of this up in my next group and see what they have to say.

I don't know. Just venting.

(((Hugs)))
I think you should write them a letter and maybe read it out to the group during the session or hand it to the group leader.
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  #1870  
Old 11-02-18, 05:24 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Took too much insulin last night and woke up with a real scare. I don't know what my sugar levels were at but I knew it was low. I can feel it through my entire body. I was so weak I could hardly sit.

I don't have anything in my apartment atm to spike my sugars quickly...but I did eat a couple of peanut butter sandwiches.

Okay, I'm going back to sleep now. my arms hurt just from holding them up to type this.
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Old 11-02-18, 05:28 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

Also, thank you guys.

And I think I'll do that Fuzz-Fuzz...the letter.
I've been having such a damn hard time making sense lately...at least with a letter I can take the time to make my words hopefully make sense.

I think I might be at the brink of a breakdown or something.
Or maybe not.
I'm not sure haha.
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Old 11-02-18, 07:12 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

I remember bringing my mother many orange juices mixed with spoonfuls of sugar. She always had bananas floating around her car and Recees pbcups. You must be able to manage your sugar well if you don't keep sugary things around?

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Took too much insulin last night and woke up with a real scare. I don't know what my sugar levels were at but I knew it was low. I can feel it through my entire body. I was so weak I could hardly sit.

I don't have anything in my apartment atm to spike my sugars quickly...but I did eat a couple of peanut butter sandwiches.

Okay, I'm going back to sleep now. my arms hurt just from holding them up to type this.
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Old 11-02-18, 07:54 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

i don't mean to be a pain but maybe you could check in with us when you get up?
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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Took too much insulin last night and woke up with a real scare. I don't know what my sugar levels were at but I knew it was low. I can feel it through my entire body. I was so weak I could hardly sit.

I don't have anything in my apartment atm to spike my sugars quickly...but I did eat a couple of peanut butter sandwiches.

Okay, I'm going back to sleep now. my arms hurt just from holding them up to type this.
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  #1874  
Old 11-02-18, 11:13 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

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Originally Posted by lisariver View Post
I remember bringing my mother many orange juices mixed with spoonfuls of sugar. She always had bananas floating around her car and Recees pbcups. You must be able to manage your sugar well if you don't keep sugary things around?
lol the problem with trying to keep sugary things around for when I need them...is I don't have the will power to 'save' them and always end up eating/drinking them.

They make some stuff for diabetics that boosts sugars that you can get through doctors...can't remember what it's called...I should really talk to my doctor about it though.

...
At any rate, I went back to bed, got about 5 more hours of solid sleep, and am feeling all better now .
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  #1875  
Old 11-02-18, 11:46 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part V

so glad to hear that
to he
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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
lol the problem with trying to keep sugary things around for when I need them...is I don't have the will power to 'save' them and always end up eating/drinking them.

They make some stuff for diabetics that boosts sugars that you can get through doctors...can't remember what it's called...I should really talk to my doctor about it though.

...
At any rate, I went back to bed, got about 5 more hours of solid sleep, and am feeling all better now .
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