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Old 12-19-18, 04:00 PM
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the calendar conundrum

I am not seeking to complain, nor be in opposition to my essential self, but I forgot to do something that others were counting on. There was a deadline and it just kind of passed, like so many have and do. Recently I went to the dentist, well I never wrote down the time and date, repeating it 3x in my head thinking I would remember this for sure, but I was thinking of how nice she was and had her hair tied up in a scarf with sheep on it. I ended up 2x at the office, once before it opened and once after it closed, and the info number is only good for people in the system, and I was recorded on the dentist's personal notebook, not the system. OK, took three tries and I got there. She took me in even though my appointment was some other date.

I've tried date reminders on the smartphone. Calendar books. Pieces of papers, napkins, business cards. Sometimes I can find them in a moment of despair or fear, under the entry, "it must be somewhere". But none of these things really work. I have a secretary who reminds me and reminds me and reminds me, but often she is at a loss for words. Things happen like on the way to work I meet someone I hadn't seen and we start to talk, and then we go for coffee and then whatever was supposed to be, happens differently. And you know, I like the idea of being organized, remembering things. But in practice I practice something else. Or I have some huge distrust of plans. Rules are usually ok, though today at the bank I asked the rep to print out where it says I cannot do something. On a plus side, or maybe a plus side, there is this huge longing to get back to the present tense. Nothing else matters. Some recollections from then. Some foggy intentions of when but they all seem highly virtual, irrelevant constructions. After all sometimes the train does derail. I'll meet someone along the way, and there I am. The rest doesn't matter. Somewhere maybe I wrote down that date, that place. Of course, it takes an enormous amount of energy to manage chaos, and I keep thinking if I could just reduce this a little bit, but I know sometimes I really disappoint others, myself. BTW wherever you are, with whomever, Happy holidays to everyone!
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Old 12-19-18, 10:01 PM
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Re: the calendar conundrum

Happy holidays to you too 1000koni.

If it's any consolation to you, I missed so many orthodontist appointments my orthodontist fired me. Never got around to another orthodontist. I just left the braces on my teeth until they naturally just peeled off (pretty bad now that I think about it).

I always try to find something that makes me a little better but if I can't, well I've accepted that my ADHD will cost me time and money and I don't feel bad about it. It's just how it is and I ultimately still take care of myself enough so just leave it at that. It is disappointing that others sometimes have a hard time finding that kind of acceptance of our weaknesses though. I try to limit those types of people to the extent possible though can't get rid of all of them.
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Old 12-20-18, 04:47 AM
Drogheda98 Drogheda98 is offline
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Re: the calendar conundrum

from my own point of view, the utilization of a calander is specifying the intended actions/behaviors for what you want to do at a specific time. I'm probably not the only one that can relate, however, when I have like 10 tabs open at a time the intent (default behavior) is to read every tab that is open. an intent is the realization that what you intend to do can either converge on an action at a specific time, or diverge from the action(behavior) as, "I'll read so and so later"

thus is the operation of a calendar and time management. to have an intent is to do a specific thing at or around a certain time. when you do the calendar work, you get better at doing the calendar work (or just utilizing a calendar). the more you do, the better you are at doing etc...
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Old 12-20-18, 09:17 PM
SashaBV SashaBV is offline
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Re: the calendar conundrum

I use a calendar with enough room under each day for notes & such. It helps.
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Old 12-21-18, 05:06 PM
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Re: the calendar conundrum

I have this really complicated system that my OCD devised! It works - until I'm unable to get to the computer to update that part of it on a daily basis, and compare it against the paper Month-At-A-Glance version - both of which require much highlighting in a huge spectrum of colors chosen by my synesthesia preferences. And for absolutely critical things, alarms on my phone, which is a flip phone. Maybe if it were a smartphone I'd find an app that could combine some of this, but chances are it wouldn't be custom tailored to my weirdly wired brain and thus it wouldn't work for me.

Did you follow all that? I don't blame you if you didn't.

I hope you are able to find something, and Merry Christmas!

btw, I would LOVE to have a secretary...
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Old 12-21-18, 08:30 PM
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Re: the calendar conundrum

At work I use outlook reminders. I even send bill reminders on email and flag them to set off reminder. I'm not at work atm so my system is started emails on my phone and big pile of paperwork
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