The "Are my meds still working?" Thread

[agaetis byrjun]

I'm sure that there have been several threads like this before. Couldn't find one though.. Maybe I gave up too fast.

Anyways, I'm at 30mg Adderall twice a day. I was wondering if alone in this- probably not. I will argue with myself whether they wore off.. I can tell from the obvious- when I first take my dose my pulse slows down, I can have a convo, stop fidgeting... But then hours later I will sit and debate whether I really have ADHD... As if it just snuck up on me. Well, I won't be getting anything done, I'll be spacing out and I'm debating that in my head for hours... I know that it's the ADHD and the second I take my meds I think rationally... So, I guess the question here instead is do you ever question your diagnosis? I know I have some severe ADHD... But is it normal to keep questioning it?! Especially when the medication does precisely what it is supposed to?!?

Am I making sense?

[agaetis byrjun]

Ok, let me be more truthful here.. I have this irrational fear that I will die every time I take my meds. For some reason, because of some people that died taking it I feel like I can to.. I don't abuse it, I take what prescribed.. My heart NEVER races, infact it's the opposite. I begin to get wild and my heart races when it's off- that's when I start to questn if I have ADHD... Then I'll take my dose and I guess- I'm so not used to being focused on one thing... I'm very anxious as it is- but I'm less when medicated.. But if I think Im gonna die I'll start to panic... I'll fight that to think of something positive, tend to go play my violin and I'll be ok... So its a battle.. And my fear is more of will my heart stop not explode... I haven't taken my dose for a while and I can tell Im already being irrational- and this happens daily.... I panic to take my medication. Anyone share there thoughts?

[CheekyMonkey]

Sounds like you need to treat the anxiety portion of this in order to adhere to your treatment plan. Have you gone to therapy at all?

[agaetis byrjun]

Yes. 4 years. Just took my dose. And now all I typed I realize how irrational I was. Not to sound absurd, but my only dilemma is concentration.. Yes, we all do- but even when I am medicated I still focus on the wrong thing!!! If anybody goes about focusing on death, sadness, uncertainty, just plain misery and negativity- of course I freak out! What's worse is that when I do my meditative training- ill latch onto something good.. My body will loosen up, my pulse drops even more and I feel just- good.. Happy. THAT will give me a panic attack because Im not used to it at all. I'm so used to being tight as a rope and worrying! I'm so aware of what needs to be done.

Im working on this all with my therapist. I've tried a journal- it helps a lot. I just need to stop convincing myself I'm gonna die any second (even though that is not far from truth) but its an irrational and dangerous thought. I suffered a severe accident 2 years ago (serious head trauma) and since then I can't get a grip on life.

[agaetis byrjun]

Like- how absurd is it to freak out that my heart rate just dropped to a relaxed state? I have been unmedicated for 23 years... I'm not used to being relaxed and focused. I'm also aware of my emotions for the first time because I actually can identify one (whereas untreated its gone to something else and a maze of thoughts).


Thanks for the vent guys. Just needed this.

[CheekyMonkey]

Originally Posted by agaetis byrjun

Like- how absurd is it to freak out that my heart rate just dropped to a relaxed state? I have been unmedicated for 23 years... I'm not used to being relaxed and focused. I'm also aware of my emotions for the first time because I actually can identify one (whereas untreated its gone to something else and a maze of thoughts).


Thanks for the vent guys. Just needed this.

Anytime!