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  #1  
Old 06-26-18, 11:56 PM
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I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Dang I'm doing good right now in life.
Things are FAR from perfect...I'm still struggling with a lot...
But I'm really taking some serious strides in my life.

hah! I just typed up a big post...but decided to delete it!
I'mma try (key word here is try!!! lol) to keep it short.

So I'm taking tons of steps forward in my life right now. I mean...things are really looking up for me. They have been for a few months now, but things have kicked up a notch here over the last few weeks.

And it feels like...if only I can hold on...I really have a chance here. A chance at happiness. A chance at fulfilling and meaningful employment. Becoming the man in me that I really love.

But...
I'm here waiting for the drop. The fall. The complete and utter (haha I was about to spell that as 'udder'. Thank goodness for google! ) destruction of my progress.
It's what's happened so many times in my life.

I'm focusing on 1 day at a time. I'm also trying to give myself permission to have small crashes. It's okay if I need to step back for a day or 2 and just let myself fall. Just as long as I don't spend too much time in that. That I use my tools and support systems to help get me back up and moving.

But that fear. It's real. It's deep. I've fallen from these highs over and over before in life. And they can take me months to recover from.

Any ideas?
Any tips?
Maybe something will click and make sense with me.
I do believe I can change. I do have a flame flickering inside me yet...even through all the fails of my past.
How do I keep myself from sabotaging myself? From that fall?

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Old 06-27-18, 12:41 PM
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Budkeiser Budkeiser is offline
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

I wouldnít necessarily view it as an ADD issue. You will have successes and failures throughout life that are only measured in self-perspective. Just remember each day that is wonderfully outstanding will be countered with a bad day and each bad day will be countered with a great day. Enjoy the moment or learn from the mistakes, but don't let either get the better of you. For me, itís a way of staying humble and not letting life's messes get the best of me.
If you're waiting for something bad to happen, I hope you also have days that you wait for the good to happen as well.
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Old 06-28-18, 01:25 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

This is an issue that is perfect for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Basically you have a thinking problem related to past experience. Because things have always gone bad in the past, they will go bad now.

Not true. Lots of people stop using drugs, quit smoking, help struggling children turn around their lives and on and on.

You can learn to talk back to that voice that says, "It's all gonna go bad. It's never lasted before."

Google CBT ... find a therapist if you can afford it ... Because this problem is so fixable. Lots of problems are more intractable--not this one.

You probably have evidence even in your own life that not all good things come to an end ... and you definitely know examples of people who have made progress in their lives ... from reading about celebrities or talking to friends. Remind yourself of these examples.
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Old 06-28-18, 05:02 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToneTone View Post
This is an issue that is perfect for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Basically you have a thinking problem related to past experience. Because things have always gone bad in the past, they will go bad now.

Not true. Lots of people stop using drugs, quit smoking, help struggling children turn around their lives and on and on.

You can learn to talk back to that voice that says, "It's all gonna go bad. It's never lasted before."

Google CBT ... find a therapist if you can afford it ... Because this problem is so fixable. Lots of problems are more intractable--not this one.

You probably have evidence even in your own life that not all good things come to an end ... and you definitely know examples of people who have made progress in their lives ... from reading about celebrities or talking to friends. Remind yourself of these examples.
That's just amazing...thank you so much for this post!

I'm actually very actively working with a therapist on CBT right now...and it's been an amazing experience for me.
I've known about CBT for many years...but I've never actually worked it. Now I really am.

And I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me to use CBT with the thoughts that I'm just going to fail again like I always do.

It's awesome that you opened me up to the idea of adjusting those thoughts.

Thank you! I really mean that!


p.s.
Next month marks my 8 year anniversary for being 100% tobacco free. So absolutely I know big sweeping change CAN happen...and CAN be maintained long term!
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Old 07-01-18, 08:50 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Oh man, it is SO EASY to miss how we can apply CBT to our own situation.

Easy for me to make the suggestion to you ... I struggle all the time to do this work with myself!!!!

The feelings we get are so convincing!
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