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  #1  
Old 09-29-14, 10:22 PM
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What have you learned?

The last couple of years for me have been kind of a train wreck but I have begun to learn a lot about life, about myself, about people, about psychology and so on...

What have you learned that you'd like to share?
It could be something big or small, but something you wish that someone had told you years ago so you wouldn't have had to learn the hard way!

I'll start things off with this:

I was always looking for happiness from outside myself. Something that you have to go and get and once you have it, life will be better. 'I'm not feeling happy so I need to get something to make me feel better, a drink, a drug, a cookie, a cigarette, a coffee, if I bought this shiny thing, slept with this shiny person, drove this car, owned a house like that, jumped on a plane... then I'd feel better, then I'd be happy.'

I used this kind of logic to justify staying in work I didn't like, or more importantly, believe in, because the money would pay for the things that would make me happy. I explained away the unhappiness in my personal life with not having enough of these things, rather than being in a relationship that wasn't right.

I have learned that happiness comes from within, or more accurately from what you put out. From working on something and being proud of your achievement, from doing something you believe in. Investing in experiences with other people rather than things. Things come and go, some things might have meaning to you or just make you smile and that's fine, but you will remember great experiences forever and they will change you and make you grow as a person.

I wish I'd learned that earlier.

What have you learned?
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  #2  
Old 09-29-14, 10:50 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I learned that learning to love yourself is a must. Nothing else really makes sense until that can happen. Not that it solves everything, by any means, but it strengthens your ability to better recognize your genuine needs and gives you much more inner strength. No one else can ever love you enough to make up for the void if you don't love yourself.

I learned that practicing deep breathing on purpose is one of the absolute best stress reducing techniques ever. It's free, can be done anywhere, anytime, and it gets that oxygen flow on the go and cools my jets big time.

I learned the importance of speaking up for myself when I feel something isn't cool. I no longer just take anyone's word for something because of their professional status or authority. My "gut" hasn't steered me wrong yet.

I learned we all need at least one person who's willing to listen without judgement, but a whole tribe or village is even better. Trying to do it all alone, all the time, guarantees things will get much worse before they get better. Learning to ask for and receive help when you really need it is a tough one, but incredibly helpful.
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  #3  
Old 09-30-14, 04:09 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unmanagable View Post
I learned that learning to love yourself is a must. Nothing else really makes sense until that can happen.
This is essential and I completely agree.

The second thing is that it is crucial to be as self aware as you can possibly become. You need to be aware of all your thoughts, feelings and actions and always try to figure out why you have them. That is the only way to undo programming and to find your real self.
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Old 09-30-14, 04:12 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

I learned that I need to exercise self compassion and speak to myself as a best friend would. To be kind and supportive to myself.

I learned to allow myself joy in ordinary things... To appreciate these things alone if need be, because not everyone sees what I see.

I learned to value now and worry less. I break things into small steps I can do now, move through them, trust in the process.

I love this thread btw.
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  #5  
Old 09-30-14, 06:07 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

That state is as much a result as an ingredient.
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  #6  
Old 10-02-14, 03:50 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

I've learned the incredible life changing value of making it a point to ingest more local, seasonal, organic, and quality ingredients vs. factory born synthetically processed and highly addictive artificial ingredients.

The energies and life force of what I choose to ingest is reflected in my performance and appearance. How it's grown, handled, prepared, and arrives on my plate matters, too.

My body is a living thing that knows how to thrive on, and healthily process, real and wholesome stuff. It has suffered a great deal of damage from a lifetime build-up of the toxicity.
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  #7  
Old 10-02-14, 09:49 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

I am in control of myself and how I make others feel. I can change if I want to.
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Old 10-02-14, 09:57 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

It's quite OK to be "genuine" rather than "pretending to be normal"; which uses up a lot of energy and concentration and leads to even more ADHD problems.
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Old 10-03-14, 10:09 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I have learned that society hosts a lot of sick monsters behind masks who are cleverly disguised as knowledgeable and reputable folks in way too many f'n places.

I have also learned that way too many f'n people are way too comfortable and willing to take someone's word based on language and titles alone.

I have learned that I've come a long f'n way in how I manage my stress, and cursing when I vent remains a very effective one.
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Old 10-04-14, 02:39 AM
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Re: What have you learned?

Also: adhd is not going to go away. if you find a bunch of good ways to " manage" it , you still have it always and have to keep constantly implementing the things that help. It's not like doing physical therapy after an injury!
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Old 10-05-14, 12:35 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I have learned that I feel the most alone in my life when I'm speaking up in regards to ethical issues being violated or ignored, be it for myself or a loved one. There's an enormous amount of people living in serious f'n fear of damn near everything, but especially speaking up, and are paralyzed by the thought of actually addressing the issues.

Once the courage is finally mustered up to take it on, the system they have in place to be so damn "helpful" knocks ya' back down on your a** and holds ya' there while they commence to kicking you while you're down. It definitely makes it painfully clear why so many choose to suffer in silence. It makes me want to reach out to more people to inspire more courage so the low life f'rs don't keep getting away with it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr But then I remember, I'm already running on empty from doing just that.
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Old 11-30-14, 02:21 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I've learned that regardless of what a person's beliefs are based on, chances are, they will always choose to believe in it much more than they will ever choose to believe in you.
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"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
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Old 11-30-14, 03:46 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I've learned that veggie burgers are a lie.
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Old 11-30-14, 03:57 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I've learned that you can't be who you're not, not even for someone you love, not even if your life depends on it. You can go against who you are for a little while (and I don't know, maybe for a little while it doesn't matter if you do) but in any case you can't keep it up over time - so don't start.
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Old 12-01-14, 01:00 PM
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Re: What have you learned?

I have learned that this forum can be one of the best and most comforting places for me to visit at times, and I've learned more from the people here than I ever imagined.

But, it can just as easily have a not-so-good effect on my brain during my "weaker" moments when I don't much care for myself. It can potentially keep me swirling in a negative loop and become a crutch, of sorts, to continue to lick my wounds vs. doing something about them.

I've learned I need healthier outlets in real time.
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