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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

 
 
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Old 06-09-18, 02:02 PM
mind_in_orbit mind_in_orbit is offline
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Re: Any women here with zero relationship experience

Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjanewatson View Post
There is nothing wrong with never having had a relationship, ESPECIALLY in high school. I truly believe that teenagers shouldn't be dating bc there have the rest of their lives to do that (something that I have always thought, even when I was in HS). They should use that time to enjoy being kids before getting thrown into the trash hole that is adulthood.
I would disagree here, even though (in fact because) I agree with your last sentence. Teenage dating seems like the only opportunity for most people to explore romance and sexuality while still "enjoying being kids". Adult dating feels like an entirely different playing field, one on which even if I had the skills to play on, I'd rather not.

I'm looking for a woman who is like me in that her sexuality is just "budding", and who wants a relationship where we can "enjoy being kids" despite the fact that we are chronological adults. Someone whose idea of a date is to visit an amusement park, sit up on a hill looking at the stars, make blanket forts, etc., not have a fancy dinner and behave like an adult married couple. Such women are so extremely hard to find, I get very discouraged a lot of the time.

So I regret not having dated in my teen years, when this combination of romantic desire and wanting to be like a kid was the norm rather than something that makes you stand out as different. Yes, there are adults who still like acting like kids every once in a while, the difference is that they don't seem to romantically bond over such activities in the same way teens do. They do these things more despite being in a romantic relationship, rather than as the core bread-and-butter OF the relationship, if that makes any sense.

I was the same way as you in my teenage years by the way--I felt no rush to get a girlfriend because I thought I had the rest of my life. While I do have "the rest of my life" to date, strictly speaking, what I didn't anticipate was that in the next few years almost everyone around me would change drastically as people, and with that what they were looking for in a partner. I also have heard that for some girls, romance and sexuality have always been serious, they never felt like child's play even when those girls were young teens having their first crushes. I obviously can't speak to that, not having experienced that or grown up a girl.

Last edited by mind_in_orbit; 06-09-18 at 02:10 PM.. Reason: There was something else I wanted to respond to
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