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Old 12-30-08, 07:15 PM
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Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I flipped through a few pages and didn't find a thread like this, so I hope I'm not re-hashing anything, or maybe if I am thats a good thing? lol
I wasn't sure if I should put this in the Support section but I will allow the moderators to worry about that.
Anyways...

What are some DOs and DO NOTs you would reconmend to friends, family loved ones etc who are NT when dealing with a AD/HDer? I know everyone is different, but even if its just to rant a little...


* Do not drop by unexpectedly, please phone first or better yet, give me 24 hours notice. I panic when I see a car pull up in my driveway and I realise the kitchen is a mess and its 3pm and I'm still in my PJs

* Do not bring a friend, especialy a stranger, unexpectly when you are visiting (see above) AD/HDers often suffer from some form of social anxiety an such and this will put that anxiety through the roof.

* Unless you live with me, please refrain from commenting on my messy house.

* Please try to patient if I ask you the same question 3 times (oh, and sorry about that)

* Please don't ask me "Well where did you last see ____?" If I knew that, I wouldn't be tearing my house apart looking for it!

* Please do not tell people about my AD/HD or hint that I have a disorder or mental illness etc, thats my personal information to give to whom I choose, you do not have that right.

* AD/HD may not be "real" to you, but it is to me, so either give me the benifit of the doubt or keep your opinion to yourself.

* I am not stupid or slow, please do not treat me as such.

* Understand that my memory works differently than yours. There may be times where you can't believe I forgot (or remembered) something, well thats a two way street!

* AD/HD does not mean I am not capable of being sucessful in life, work school etc. But please do understand that I work twice as hard as you do for the same results. That deserves respect does it not?

* AD/HD often goes hand in hand with other problems, such as learning disabilities. Also AD/HD comes in varying degrees and types. Not all AD/HDers are created equal, so if you know one AD/HDer do not assume we are all just like that person.

* Unless you are my signifigant other, or I am a child and you're my parent, or your are an concerned employer, please do not comment on my wrinkled blouse or messy hair.

* Unless you live with me, please do not offer to help me clean my house, or organize my cupboards or fix my life for me. Thanks
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Old 12-30-08, 07:17 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Awesome post..
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Old 12-31-08, 04:23 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Does anyone have anything to add?


* Large gatherings and parties can be difficult, please understand if I need to leave early.
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Old 06-26-11, 02:19 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Does anyone have anything to add?


* Large gatherings and parties can be difficult, please understand if I need to leave early.
I totally relate to this one. I enjoy going out but often I'm content being the listener and when I've had my fill, I'm done. That's it. I often feel socially awkward so the fact that I even showed and stayed for as long as I did deserves mentions at least
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Old 01-15-13, 04:54 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Does anyone have anything to add?


* Large gatherings and parties can be difficult, please understand if I need to leave early.
don't assume my leaving a party early, or reluctance to go means I'm shy, and introvert, or don't like to be social. I do, I love people, but I fear the consequences of my "innapropriate ADHD" behavior when in social situations.

that being said

don't tell me what I did wrong in a social situation, do compliment what I did right. (I need encouragement, not discouragement) why would I want to entertain or bless others with my wonderful me if I am going to be told what I did wrong in social situations.
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Old 08-08-17, 10:01 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

If I can even find it inside myself to go to an event or function!
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Old 08-08-17, 10:44 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

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Originally Posted by brujanegra View Post
If I can even find it inside myself to go to an event or function!
oh God, yes, quit bugging me about it already!
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Old 04-02-18, 02:17 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Does anyone have anything to add?


* Large gatherings and parties can be difficult, please understand if I need to leave early.
Don't tell us that we are lazy and don't care!!😂
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Old 12-31-08, 04:54 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Hmm may I suggest an edit, Red? How about: "AD(H)D manifests itself in different people in different ways. If you have seen one ADDer you have not seen them all!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Not all AD/HDers are created equal, so if you know one AD/HDer do not assume we are all just like that person.
Otherwise I am waiting for the final version of this manifesto -- hopefully in a ready to print PDF version!

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Old 12-31-08, 04:56 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

hehe Give me a week or two and I'll have it ready for ya! Keep ideas and grammar corrections coming folks.

* Please do not expect me to friend the straight "A" students or hang out with the popular crowd, at school or work or in adult social society. Its just to hard, and when folk like that find out a person has a disorder or goes to the Special Ed class, its like wearing a scarlet letter.
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Old 03-28-13, 08:11 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
hehe Give me a week or two and I'll have it ready for ya! Keep ideas and grammar corrections coming folks.

* Please do not expect me to friend the straight "A" students or hang out with the popular crowd, at school or work or in adult social society. Its just to hard, and when folk like that find out a person has a disorder or goes to the Special Ed class, its like wearing a scarlet letter.
Special Ed class has a stigma.

Until you visit one and find a few kids who can do things at age nine that college grads still have yet to master. I was in one and took the SAT in the fourth grade and placed in the top 20% of high school college bound seniors. That test got me into a major university. So I thank the school board for that one.

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Old 12-31-08, 05:54 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't comment on my socks not matching my outfit. I should poke them in the eye for paying attention to such absurd things.
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Old 12-31-08, 07:12 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

How about:
* Don't forget that I have a short attention span. If you spend 20 minutes telling me an anecdote with tons of repetition and no apparent point, don't be offended if I am doing something else by the time you are finished speaking. (I have had to give this speech to both of my parents - they should know better.)
* Try to remember that I am bored senseless with many of the activities designed by normals. If I occasionally can't restrain frustration with the unoriginal banality of your conversation, I apologize.
* If you aren't my fiancee or financial planner, I don't really care how you think finances / bill-paying should be organized. Thanks for the advice, but seriously, I'll manage on my own.
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Old 01-01-09, 08:24 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by prtsimmons View Post
designed by normals.
love it


* don't ask me to remind you about something important.

* don't ask me where you parked the car.

* don't ask me 'did you remember to bring' such and such when you didn't remember either.
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Old 01-01-09, 07:03 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

LOL!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by timtam View Post
* don't ask me to remind you about something important.
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