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  #16  
Old 05-08-05, 12:09 PM
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Bullying is very prevalent. I see it everywhere. I used to be more of a bully than I am now but recognition of it and it's effects remain quite remote in most peoples minds.

Culturally it seems to becoming more of the norm and that disturbs me.
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  #17  
Old 05-08-05, 02:02 PM
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This is a great post. I've recently had a very bad experience that taught me how susceptable I am to sociopaths, psycopaths and psychological bullies. I lump them all together and call them psychological predators.

I have a hard time spotting them until they do me some damage. I usually try to respond negatively to them, but if they ding me again, my tactic is to avoid them, and if they pursue me, I expose them publically, and that usually puts them in their place and they leave me alone.

I think a peaceful approach is far better than a confrontation. Who needs the extra noise when you are fully entertained by ADD ?

Glen


Quote:
Originally Posted by RhapsodyInBlue
This is a subject that I think we all should be aware of. No one is immune from unwanted PM's, emails, attention seekers and bullies. I am very susceptible to these type of people , and decided I no longer want it in my life. ADHD is enough !

Please do not minimize what you read here, as it is for the safety of all concerned.

Take Care of yourselves, and of each other! Don't be paranoid, but be alert.

http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cyber.htm
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  #18  
Old 06-19-05, 06:41 PM
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Cyberbullying
http://www.bullyonline.org/


I cannot recommend this site too often. It's resources seem limitless.

Stalking:
http://www.bullyonline.org/related/stalking.htm

What is a bully?
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm

Halt Abuse:
http://www.haltabuse.org/

don't mean to be redundant, but I'm a cautious person and breaking down the info helped me.
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  #19  
Old 06-26-05, 05:02 PM
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That checklist matches a business associate of mine (actually a vendor) perfectly. The irony is, he called me a bully when I called him out on his failure to deliver numerous times, in absolute exasperation. He was provoking me by calling me cheap because I wanted to use my own telephone line rather than buy one through him on a project. On a sub-rasa level you know that's what's going on, but on a conscious level you don't want to admit it, partly because he can be so charming--or used to be. Then he spontaneously changed the payment terms to have me pay two weeks earlier. Who does that????

Thank you so much for this. My only question now is, how do you know you're not a bully? B/c one thing a bully always tries to do, at least a business bully, is try to make it seem as though you are the one doing the bullying. And in responding to a bully's real depredations, you have to be forceful--there's no way around it.
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  #20  
Old 07-23-05, 10:03 AM
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Thumbs up

Hello everyone I'm Liz and I'm a newbie to your forum.
I find this thread to be of interest to me because I am always falling victim to the cyber-bullies. I've always engaged myself in debates with a certain pair of bullies and I like to believe I've always done so in defense. Now I haven't gotten any flaming emails, it's usually on other forum boards where I get "attacked". And since one person definetly isn't enough to shut me up, they go into the internet war tactics such as name-calling and insults. Now that I have that Cyber-bully web-site, I can expose them for what they are. It's going to be great. When I call their hand...I will be able to actually "see" them typing really hard at me . Very informative web-site. Thank you for posting it!!

Batgirl
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  #21  
Old 07-23-05, 10:23 AM
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So glad you like it.

If you're looking for intelligent debate in a well-moderated site, we have a debate forum. We don't allow flaming of members, this is for intelligent discussion and views. See wheezie for the password.
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  #22  
Old 10-17-05, 04:37 PM
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I just found this thread. I feel quite strongly about this issue. i was bullied even up into jr. high.
Let me recommend a book:
"The Gift of Fear"
by
Gavin DeBecker. i think it's recently out in paperback. DeBecker's subject matter is not pretty, but you will learn how to better take care of yourself.

if the book has already been recommended, then take this as an additonal positive endorsement. One thing I love about DeBecker's work is this : He's not afraid to say that it's nonsense for parents to let their kids be bullied. He is undeterred by the nonsense response "We can't intervene for our child because of what others( adults or kids) will think."

Thanks.
DBR
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  #23  
Old 11-09-05, 02:05 AM
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I guess I am self labeling then...

"Many serial bullies are also serial attention-seekers. More than anything else they want attention. It doesn't matter what type of attention they get, positive or negative, as long as they can provoke someone into paying them attention. It's like a 2-year-old child throwing a tantrum to get attention from a parent. The best way to treat bullies is to refuse to respond and to refuse to engage them - which they really hate. In other words, do not reply to their postings, and on forums carry on posting without reference to their postings as if they didn't exist. In other words, treat nobodies as nobodies."

It has been a while since I arrived to this forum. All I see and read indicates that I fall under trhe category above described, as I have posted information, links and useful resources I believe can benefit me. selfishly speaking, and can benefit you the reader. I thought I had come to a place where people are treated without labels, that the labels are there because at some point you and I were given them.
Liberals, Democrats, Republicans, ultra right ultra left, bullies, victims, ADDers, MIs, MRs, foreigners, newbies are ALL labels, and we better start thinking about humans in terms of what they can contribute to society, not in terms of which category they belong to.
I am a human being first.
A bully, a disabled individual, a liberal, a democrat, a republican, a democrat, a bully, a victim is a human being first, and part of the reason why those individuals are angry, upset, psycotic, frustrated, is not because they decided to be that way at some point in their lives. Thos people are hurting somewhere. And it is my responsibility and yours as part of the human race, to help heal our own hurt and that of others.
Throwing money at people puts a bandaid on the problem, feeling holier than thou is another bandaid...and on and on and on...

By the way, attention seeking IS a negative behavior depending on how you look at the behavior, but it can be a cue to realize that people engaged in negative behaviors might not know or have the capability to demonstrate positive behaviors instead...
So my purpose and perhaps yours is to help those that do not know how to engage in positive behaviors and demonstrate to them what positive behaviors look like, feel like, sound like and taste like. Not to offer them a negative behavior for theirs. Two wrongs don't make a right
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  #24  
Old 01-26-06, 12:27 AM
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Recommended BOOKS:

#1. 'Without Conscience' by Robert Hare (1990s)

This book is written by the developer of the PCL Test (aka Psychopathy Check List). He is a Professor at UBC (university of british colombia) here in Canada.

It has behavioural checklists that you just HAVE TO go over, if you suspect you are dealing with a Psychopath.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157...Fencoding=UTF8


#2. 'Mask of Sanity' by Hervey Cleckley. (original work was in French)

This is really the original classic text on Sociopaths (psychopaths). Very applicable to Anti-social Personality Disorder and it's childhood predecessor, Conduct Disorder.

VERY important material that I wish I had learned earlier in life.


#3. Another important topic, similar to Psychopathy -- by way of the damage it causes to innocents -- is Narcissism !!

Currently, the book that I'm reading on this subject is called "Why is it Always about You." Written by a Social Worker whom I suspect has been around the block a few times.

The sense of entitlement, grandiose thinking, debasement of others, flagrant disregard of others safety and wellbeing, disturbed object relations, etc. can be similarly hurtful and damaging to the Victimized.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/074...lance&n=283155

#4. The book i just finished is titled "Emotional Vampires", by Albert Bernstein. It is about the persons we meet who try to abuse us, or otherwise make our lives miserable. (It is about personality disorders, essentially. The profiles of Vampires is quite effective.)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/007...lance&n=283155



(NB. The use of the term "Psychopathy" is not to be confused with the term 'Psychosis' or 'Psychotic' ; other than sharing a -=PREFIX=-, they are totally different things going on. Do a GOOGLE search for definitions should you require this info.)
Emma
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  #25  
Old 05-18-06, 02:56 PM
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You are so right ! I have been bullied and manipulated so many times i have lost count. Probably due to the fact that i am co dependant aswell.
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  #26  
Old 05-18-06, 02:58 PM
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Is this freaky or what ! I was only on a site yesterday talking about my pshyco

abuser and all of a sudden you pop up here talking about the same thing !
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  #27  
Old 05-18-06, 03:01 PM
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i think 90% ofve anythig that is bad is bulling i hate that or anyone who dose it
weather it be in a froum like this or any were on the net and chat roomssss perticlay i get that on a dayly basic you have to get by as best you can dorm
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  #28  
Old 05-18-06, 03:32 PM
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I never really thought much about it before reading this thread, but looking back I can think of times where I have been bullied on the net. I have never really given in because I don't do heated debates, I always just left the situation. I liked the article and found this entire thread to be very informative.
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  #29  
Old 05-26-06, 02:14 PM
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May I add this link to your thoughts on bullying? Recently an internet task force agent came and spoke to my criminal deviance class and I have been passing this link around ever since.

Keeping ourselves and our children safe has become even harder with the internet in our lives. Most people just don't seem to comprehend how much personal information they are putting out there for people to find on themselves and their children. Once it is out there it is pretty hard to make it go away - they call them cached pages - you can delete it but there are people who know how to access these things.

The special agent had some pretty scarey stories to tell. Think about that bully being able to track where you live by something you left out in the open on the internet. Check it out and pass it around.

http://netsmartz.org/index.htm
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  #30  
Old 06-07-06, 03:47 PM
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Thank you very, very much for this one.
I am bullied a few days ago... after two days in hyperconcentration and sabotaging me to a tempertwist, I found a way in coping with it.

Later I found this thread. I like the article of "detaching with love".
I am too impulsive on calls for help.
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