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  #46  
Old 03-26-08, 07:43 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

The website...to a "T"...describes one of my former co-workers. My very first nursing job and this witch was a "charge nurse"...would talk extremely loud about how she got "wasted" the night before, scream at aides who didn't do her tasks fast enough. She always threw these gigantic fits...and would make herself smell like a rose to management. They LOVED her. It was extremely disturbing how her vocal tones would change depending on who she decided she liked or not.

I absolutely HATED her...of course with inattentive ADD I could never match to what she would yell at me about ("Your patient thought you forgot all about her!"...umm as an 89 year old woman with dementia, I am sure she probably thought I did, as I had been in her room 15 minutes earlier). She made me absolutely sick to my stomach, cry at home numerous times, would talk about how "stupid" I was and how I should be fired to other coworkers (because I would never ever talk back to her, just did whatever was asked)....I lost a ton of weight and would rarely leave the house...my fear of her was a big part of it.

I made a complaint to management...in response I got "She's working on it and has come a long way" It got so bad I had to quit...and I am GLAD I did. I have a wonderful job now...with wonderful coworkers...I thought I was just difficult to get along with...but no, it was her.
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  #47  
Old 07-29-08, 04:50 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

One thing that they seem to miss is that many sociopaths and manipulative people will not bully, in fact they will be sweet as pie in order to get what they want.

Many of the people who bully are pretty bad at manipulation, really. If they were good at it you would not see them as bullies.

People who bully often are insecure and are seeking your approval. Others are attention-seeking. People who are manipulative tend to be less easy to identify, and may come across as friendly or harmless, even as weak and in need of help. Some will claim they are being bullied, even, in a play for your sympathy and assistance.

Before jumping into an internet argument, think for a moment. Be sure you are not being manipulated. Bullies are easy to dislodge by not posting personal information/means of contact, by ignoring, and usually by reporting them to moderators or others with authority. Most bullies will cave in when reproached by someone who has power over them. Manipulative people, on the other hand, are harder to deal with, and trying to get rid of them can make YOU look like the bully(if they are good at manipulating people.)
Most sociopaths are manipulative, only some are bullies (ones who feed on other people's fear, or who crave attention.)

~a public service announcement from your local benign sociopath~
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  #48  
Old 09-07-08, 08:41 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

Here's a link for those concerned about Cyber Bullies:

http://www.besafeonline.org/English/bullying_online.htm
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  #49  
Old 10-26-09, 09:24 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

I have been a victium of bullying both in real life and on the internet in a support group .

I believe the "INTENT " is whats to be looked at .

Everyone wants attention on some level .

People asking for help or working on a problem do not need to be looked at as "attention seeking" I do not think thats helpful. yet this can be precarious on the internet.

In the book . "ADHD book of lists" listed in the symptoms for male's with ADHD Bulling is mentioned as a problem for some.

So I belive those of us with ADHD do need to look at what this means in our lives both as victium and perpetrator, Impulse control is a factor in this I belive.

Aslo to be blamed as being a bully or stalker when not one can cause lots of damage to another . Especially if the person doing it has alot of phychological clout as in infromation / Doctor /therapist for example. especially when one has been victimized by a doctor which I have.

It's important to be very clear what Bullying /labeling really is. Or can be.

I was stalked on a support forum by someone who claimed to be a doctor.

The perpetrator was a male . He changed screen names and contacted me in a PM remarking on a post I had made . .In his old screen name he was one of the most critical abusive members I had seen on that particualr forum. I never posted in any of his threads , just watched. I was defensless in knowing who he was . I found out he did the same thing to another member thanks to my visual acuity he had sent us the same photo in a PM . saying wasn;t he attractive.

This has helped me to be a bit parinoid on mental health forums . Its possible for cyber bullies to pretend to be someobne who has a condition and have someone share who has a good heart and want to help someone who really needs it only to try to get them to expose thier condition.

Not easy to prove one has to learn to trust thier Gut.

Infinity~
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  #50  
Old 12-07-09, 04:52 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

Heh, I'll add that it may be humorous to some that ADHD has a very high comorbidity rate with conduct/oppositional defiant disorder; In adults it is often comorbid with ASPD. (relative to the regular population).

I kind of wonder about internet bullying though... Why not make a new account? Seems pretty easy to me, if someone is causing you enough distress.

Actually, I don't really understand how someone gets bullied online, under an anonymous alias.

Enlighten please?
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  #51  
Old 03-10-10, 07:40 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

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Originally Posted by RhapsodyInBlue View Post
This is a subject that I think we all should be aware of. No one is immune from unwanted PM's, emails, attention seekers and bullies. I am very susceptible to these type of people , and decided I no longer want it in my life. ADHD is enough !

Please do not minimize what you read here, as it is for the safety of all concerned.

Take Care of yourselves, and of each other! Don't be paranoid, but be alert.
what does this have to do with adhd?people with adhd never get bullied cause they are first to start swingin on whoever wants some. this post has nothin to do with adhd
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  #52  
Old 02-16-11, 04:55 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

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Originally Posted by RhapsodyInBlue View Post
... be alert.
The irony.
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  #53  
Old 02-16-11, 04:56 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

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what does this have to do with adhd?people with adhd never get bullied cause they are first to start swingin on whoever wants some. this post has nothin to do with adhd
When I was young enough for fist fights to not be a serious deal, I got stuck several times before I would finally... retaliate.
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Old 03-25-11, 03:36 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

Speaking of internet Bullies, why does no one have a legitimate photo!?!?!
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  #55  
Old 01-03-12, 09:46 AM
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Angry Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

For anyone on here that has been bullied in the past or the present,

Please do not try and befriend them or do things to gain favour they will only see this as a sign of weakness and this will only encourage them to be meaner to you.

Either ignore them or report them to the appropriate channel.

Wish I had done either of the above before my experience believe me!
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  #56  
Old 02-08-13, 12:00 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

interesting post. I've had a few people attempt to bully me online. What can I say? Dislike's mutual lol we wound up avoiding each other. I haven't had any bullies irl in awhile. I always at least pretended to be confident lol only a few close friends saw the real me. Now, after being told that I have ADHD, I've come to terms with the associated shortcomings and gained some real confidence. Nothing like finding out that Edison was just like you lol

That confident look is a great bully repellent.

Also, I think we can use our ADHD to our advantage when it comes to dealing with bullies. Wait, you said something? You lost me after the first three words. And find something to most obviously distract yourself with to irk the bully even more.
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Old 08-15-13, 03:14 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

You can tell some of the attention seekers.

I think some people who join here are seeking narcotics, please do not give out your name or address for your own safety.
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Old 08-15-13, 03:28 AM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

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Originally Posted by theloner View Post
You can tell some of the attention seekers.

I think some people who join here are seeking narcotics, please do not give out your name or address for your own safety.
Which is why I've not looked into any of the stuff on Facebook.
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Old 05-06-15, 10:08 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

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Originally Posted by vinceptor View Post
This is why I mentioned Weiss's "three faces" idea, because the underlying dynamic in the behavior of a "difficult person" with AD/HD is quite different from that of a psychopath, yet, despite the gradual de-demonization of AD/HD in the DSM, it still remains linked by association (via CD).

Ken
It's good to be reminded of that. I get a bad feeling when people raise the spectre of a mental disorder to warn of some imaginary person to be careful of. although I get the point. and I know that there's a tendency as an ADHDer to be open to experience and like risk taking and new things. And also, conflicts and strangeness can be interesting too, and... yeah I definitely get that!

There are safe ways to explore and be open and be friendly.
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Old 01-23-16, 03:32 PM
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Re: Research:Internet Bullies And Attention Seekers

Sooo... Wow! Great info! Thank you so much for the OP!

I'm feeling really conflicted, though. Am I one of these people? Am I an attention seeker?!

Here's some background on me. Trying not to throw all my issues out here at once: I grew up having to analyze everything, including myself -- always doing self-reflection -- in order to avoid certain types of conflict with my mom and step-dad. Really don't need to go into it as I've spent years in therapy and feel like I've relatively appropriately dealt with my past. But having said that, I have spent most of my life not talking much -- the kiddo in the last row and last column so I could have a corner seat. I wanted to be able to see everything/everyone, wanted to have as few people sit by me as possible, never raised my hand to answer a question, dreaded public speaking and break out in hives -- literally visible red marks on my neck and chest, so I avoid it like the plague. We moved a lot when I was a kid, but in high school we stayed in the same spot. and I had one friend with whom I still keep in contact and love dearly. Really don't know what I would have done without her.

When I was younger -- not my childhood; I'm talking more young adulthood to about age 30 -- and I felt like I connected with someone, I hadn't quite dealt with childhood abuse yet, so I was like a floodgate. It was really like a train wreck -- you don't want to look, but you can't look away. As I've gone through many types of therapy and have really, really worked on myself and also mellowed out with age a bit probably -- hopefully? -- I've learned to keep that part of me at bay.

With the cyber world, however, it's much easier for me to put a part of myself out there with the barrier of my computer without breaking out in hives.

Three years ago I was diagnosed with cancer -- completely blindsided as I've never smoked or done drugs, used to run on the cross country team when I was in the military, still relatively young (I have a six-year-old), blah blah blah. You get the idea -- I tried to be healthy. I went through surgery, chemo, radiation and Herceptin treatments and am still on a follow-up medication. Afterwards I looked at life differently, with a zest for living in the present with the ones I care about as well as finally taking care of myself, paying attention to myself and my body -- a whole new meaning to carpe diem.

I have always had issues with concentrating and, well, the other things I've mentioned in the other posts I've put on the forum in other sections, but after chemo it was like they were exacerbated. I decided to see if there's something more than just "chemo fog" as it's called going on with me, so I decided to speak with a therapist and she suggested I get tested. Just got the paperwork back a few months ago, but my hubby just deployed and I've been in the middle of a move, so I haven't been able to do anything with it yet. My son and I are just now getting somewhat settled, so I've TAKEN -- something that's hard for me to do -- the time to research his findings for me. Although it doesn't say in the paperwork the actual word "diagnosis," in his write-up he discusses OCD, ODD and ADHD for me.

Here’s the point of this background (wow, much longer than I intended -- I'm sorry): So when doing my research on ADHD, I found this forum – a place where I finally may have found people like me. In trying to find answers to so many questions that I have, I've probably thrown myself out there a little too much, as I used to do when I was in my young adulthood, albeit on rare occasions. That being said, I see my postings as looking for answers, trying to find people with whom I have something in common, etc., but would I even know if my amount of posting is definitively inappropriate? I feel like if I have a question and I don’t ask I’m just going to explode. Basically, though, are my postings attention-seeking behavior? Is there some sort of test for that (If you do such and such-type questions/inventory)? If any of you think that it is that type of behavior, would you tell me? You can be honest. I can’t fix it if I don’t know that it’s a problem.
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