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  #1  
Old 05-22-18, 05:03 PM
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Here's how this sh- works

You have a mental illness. Any one really will do. The key take away from this is that a brain illness that causes the brain to react differently than it normally would and that it is a lens through which you view the world. Bipolar, depression, ADHD (which I believe a lot of people here have with depression). Or better yet, OCD.

I'll talk about depression because it's a pretty clear example. Your brain says you suck. Your brain says you can't do x. Your brain says you are stupid. Your brain says if you try you will fail.

You're brain says this BECAUSE you are depressed. If anyone has read anything much about CBT you realize the entire thing is trying to reply to and train your thoughts.

I have told myself I am worthless. I have told myself I am bad. I have told myself all I do is **** up. I have told myself I am useless. I have told myself I will never get better. I have told myself I would be better dead. In fact, I still get all of these. I've learned to tune them out for the most part. I think of suicide at least once a day. We have yet to hit a medication point that makes my brain shut up.

Not only that, I convinced OTHER people I should kill myself. I had people on my side. But you can't convince a child that his mother should die so I just couldn't do it for the third time. Foolproof next time. All planned out.

But that's not my brain talking, it's the depression. Adults with untreated ADHD usually develop depression later in life (or so I read somewhere). But I have found it to be true in many cases. What's holding you back (barring physical limitations that would prevent you from working) is probably your brain.

For the record I have NEVER said anyone here was lazy or didn't try hard enough. But feel free to misinterpret me all day long.

You are at war with your brain. Some days will be alright, some days will be absolutely horrible. But what will remain pretty steady are the negative thoughts harassing you about what you can't do.

So you need:
A full diagnosis for everything that is wrong.
Most likely (the RIGHT) medications. This may take a while.
Psychiatrist help.
Psychology help/counselor.
One of the above skilled in CBT. Prefer to try it on your own? I have book suggestions.
If possible a group of family/friends to support you (Not necessary as I had neither). Or better yet, this forum full of people! Who I'm sure would gladly support efforts to reach goals and better yourself.
And goals.

The goals and CBT are the important part. The goals should be both short term and long term so you can aim appropriately to your larger goals. (The process takes a while so be prepared). The CBT will help you retrain your brain not to give you those nasty thoughts. Sometimes things go really slowly and that's ok. (I didn't get rid of all my thoughts but I manage them now)

I told people I would never get better. (noticing a trend here? sound familiar at all?) I told people I was worthless. That I never did everything right (that's for that one, deadbeat dad). That I ruin every chance I'm given. That i'll never be anything. And I could convince you it was true!

Once you are able to stop tearing yourself down every other minute you get a chance to actually SEE who you are and SEE what you can do, you have something to work with.

But you need to acquire the skill set necessary to defeat your mental health demons.

I've seen (and been) one of those really nasty cases where nothing seems to work. Give it time.

You NEED the tools to GET the results to SEE how much you are capable of doing. And if I were you I'd reevaluate this often. And I'd wager you do not currently know what you are or are not capable of. Just what the mental illness tells you.

Sitting around repeating what your brain says out loud isn't going to get you anywhere.

Are some people incapable of getting better? Possibly. Does that stand for the majority. I say hell no.

One of the best things you can do if you are depressed is... well... anything. Doing anything helps depression.

But you can take this process as slow or as fast as you feel you are capable of handling.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to let an entire forum of people sit around in misery just submitting to their ailments and putting them on display. What is the point of any mental health forum if you aren't helping people feel better, do more, and reach life goals?

What level can you obtain? That is up to you. Calculate in opportunity costs. But get somewhere you are genuinely okay being. **** what other people think. Retire with tea on the porch or go for gold. It's your decision. Do not compare yourself to others. That's one thing I DO agree on.

However, fight smarter, not harder.

If anyone would like more information, book recommendations, someone to research resources in their area (I'll even make the phone calls), advice for appointments, or even just to vent, feel free to PM me.

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
–Zen Shin
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  #2  
Old 05-22-18, 05:20 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

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Re: Here's how this sh- works

for YOU. that's how it works...for YOU.

i've done CBT, too, by the way and it helps with some things (it got me out of the house when i was agoraphobic for a very long time), but not all. other therapies are actually better for my primary diagnosis (which is SZ, not ADHD). ERP therapy helped my OCD, but only for a time. there are a lot of other types of therapy that are better suited to some people, some diagnoses. putting all of your eggs in the CBT basket could leave you with nothing if it doesn't help.

all i'm saying is that your journey is yours but it comes across as tone deaf when you don't seem to respect that not EVERY journey is akin to yours.

it reminds me of people who tell me i'm delusional. which is fine for them to say, but when i'm ACTUALLY delusional...they just become my enemies. you can't have it both ways.

you can bang on about your truth, but what do you prefer, talking to people on our terms, too, or just banging on about yours being right?
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  #3  
Old 05-22-18, 05:28 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

You people aren't picking up what I'm putting down.

CBT is common and its pretty easy to find people who know it. So that's my go to. It also addresses the "I can't" and makes you think "What CAN I do?"

If you are complaining I didn't include any other therapy I don't know if you noticed how ******* long that post was. I wasn't about to throw even more in there. There is a prototype to follow if you aren't sure where to go.

I'm going generic based on what I know and what others with mental health issues have told me.
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Old 05-22-18, 05:33 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

The problem I have with the "normal brain function" argument is that every single brain is different. No 2 brains work in exactly the same manner, otherwise they'd be the same person.
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  #5  
Old 05-22-18, 05:57 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
You have a mental illness. Any one really will do. The key take away from this is that a brain illness that causes the brain to react differently than it normally would and that it is a lens through which you view the world. Bipolar, depression, ADHD (which I believe a lot of people here have with depression). Or better yet, OCD.

I'll talk about depression because it's a pretty clear example. Your brain says you suck. Your brain says you can't do x. Your brain says you are stupid. Your brain says if you try you will fail.

You're brain says this BECAUSE you are depressed. If anyone has read anything much about CBT you realize the entire thing is trying to reply to and train your thoughts.
Quote:
You people aren't picking up what I'm putting down.
Peri is absolutely correct, this is you lyrin, not us.

I've done cbt and therapy for 4 years. *you* when atleast used at the beginning of a thought is a. oh I don't know the correct name for it, but I'll just use the word echo. it's not a connection between people.

further along cbt you might experience the phrase "what we see in ourselves is what we see in others". it's only when we know certain aspects of ourselves past these echo's of other's judgment can we truly connect with anyone else, and even living in certain echo's we can still relate to other's, we just can't use our superego to do so

for example, you(peri) started this thread with an automatic judgment call. I can relate to this and see this in you(peri) because I used to do the same thing.

when you(peri) say "your brain says you suck" this is a somewhat pathological echo. no one's brain says they suck, people in the past might have said we suck and we might have not been able to properly reality test ourselfs or gotten the support to reality test to agree or disagree with said person, this creates an echo and their judge becomes our judge(echo).

whenever we judge other's as if ourselfs we are in fact, judging ourselfs. it's a projection. "you............................................... .." is often times a projection. so peri is right, you are talking about yourself and not us.

keep up with the CBT though

I think I said peri when I ment lyin on the above, heh.
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  #6  
Old 05-22-18, 05:57 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Oh my brain isn't "normal". But the goal of psychs is to make us "more normal". An abnormal brain creates abnormal thoughts. If those thoughts are about chickens then that's fine, I suppose. But if those thoughts are about how worthless you are you don't need 'em.

If you have a path to getting better than by all means, use that. If you do NOT have any idea where to start, that's the point of the post. Here are some basic things you can do to get you pointed in the right direction.
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  #7  
Old 05-22-18, 05:59 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
But I'll be damned if I'm going to let an entire forum of people sit around in misery just submitting to their ailments and putting them on display. What is the point of any mental health forum if you aren't helping people feel better, do more, and reach life goals?
What makes you subscribe to the generalization that people on this forum merely "sit around in misery?"

What makes you think you have the right and/or ability to solve other people's problems for them? Why do you care so much?
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  #8  
Old 05-22-18, 06:02 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
You people aren't picking up what I'm putting down.

CBT is common and its pretty easy to find people who know it. So that's my go to. It also addresses the "I can't" and makes you think "What CAN I do?"

If you are complaining I didn't include any other therapy I don't know if you noticed how ******* long that post was. I wasn't about to throw even more in there. There is a prototype to follow if you aren't sure where to go.

I'm going generic based on what I know and what others with mental health issues have told me.
and i don't think you're picking up what *I* put down. you're being tone deaf in your chiding of people.

again, you can meet us where you are, or bang on about your truth. but what's more important: being in community or being "right"?
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  #9  
Old 05-22-18, 06:07 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I've heard things like this a lot here, however. Not being good enough. Really wanting to do other things that are limited right now. Signs of depressive thinking everywhere. I see things like that around the forum. I'm not just pulling them out of my ***.

I actually don't do CBT. Doesn't work for me. I have read up on it (and other systems) But it does seem to help a LOT of people and is fairly simple which is why I suggested it as a first go. I'm going to go for trends rather than my own personal way of doing s**t.

I would not suggest my personal methods to anyone here. Ever.

Also the reason I said anyone could PM me with questions. I'm not making the post about any specific person. I'm not addressing all issues. I'm giving a road map to start with.
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Old 05-22-18, 06:09 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

"Why do you care so much?"


I have no idea. It is now clear to me that I should not.
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Old 05-22-18, 06:10 PM
Drogheda Drogheda is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Oh my brain isn't "normal". But the goal of psychs is to make us "more normal".
everyone is as normal as they think they are. thinking you aren't normal is nothing more than a personal belief that shapes the way that you behave.

for example, someone who thinks they aren't normal can not behave normally because the ability to behave normally is out of bounds of abnormal.

the psychs job is to help shape these beliefs we have about ourselves
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Old 05-22-18, 06:13 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I'm seeing people with the same mindset that I had 10-15-20 years ago. I've been to hell and back repeatedly. If I could give just ONE of them advice to help them along their journey how would I not? In good conscience say nothing and offer no help?
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Old 05-22-18, 06:14 PM
Drogheda Drogheda is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

because the only way to help anyone else is to first, help ourselfs.
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Old 05-22-18, 06:15 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drogheda View Post
everyone is as normal as they think they are. thinking you aren't normal is nothing more than a personal belief that shapes the way that you behave.

for example, someone who thinks they aren't normal can not behave normally because the ability to behave normally is out of bounds of abnormal.

the psychs job is to help shape these beliefs we have about ourselves
There is such a thing as abnormality. It's a spectrum. A little abnormal is just a little weird. A lot of abnormal gets you a diagnosis. And that is why I suggested seeing a psych.
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Old 05-22-18, 06:16 PM
Drogheda Drogheda is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

in otherwords...

if you saw someone drowning the first response is probably to jump head deep into the waves. that usually just ends up with both people drowning.

in this analogy, the person needs the knowledge to get a lifepreserve for himself first before diving into help anyone else. they help themselfs first then help others.
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