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  #31  
Old 05-22-18, 07:56 PM
Drogheda Drogheda is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I really feel I need to write this out.

I don't know if you have a roommate nor do I care.

I'm going to try something out here , I'm going to find you out. I feel that I have to do this to defend myself from manipulateion

"He pays practically nothing to live here and all I require is that he does the cat boxes and goes to his appointments regularly and makes improvements. Right now we are working on anxiety."

ask yourself if you are going to your appointments regularly to make the improvements you need to empty the cat boxes. Right now WE are not working on anxiety, I have my own incheck. to get rid of your own anxiety, you need to go to your appointments.

"Also why I said it's fine to PM me with questions." this is speculative, but I think you might be trying to lure us into replying to you.

" at no benefit to me. I'm actually losing money on a normal roommate. But he needed help so I said he could come live with me and get his **** together."

I said I was how we think about ourselfs is how we behave, and that believing that self is normal a person can behave normally and we think of ourself as abnormal behaving normally is out of our own definition. I think money in this situation represents anything lucrative, such as trust.. I think you are saying "you are loosing trust on someone who believes themselfs normal but I know him(yourself) and you(L) need help so he(you L) could get his(again, you L) together)

again, speculation, but I think you(L) might be talking about myself and you(L) wanting my help in your own needs. if I'm correct in this, I don't need your(L) help, you(L) want mine.

Often times how we relate (as in HE or his) we are really talking about ourselfs and our own needs. think of a superhero, we all have our favorite superhero and when describing the superhero and why they are our favorite we use words like "his, he, her hers), when we do that, we are often describing qualities in ourself that we either have or want to improve on (obviously doesn't have to be about superheroes).

that's alright if the above position is true or not and if I'm giving a correct statement or not. people with ADHD really need to build boundaries. a suggestion on how to do that.

and this is if for instance, you really do have a roomate.

"My roomate has anxiety" not "My roomate has anxiety and he really needs to work on it" the HE is the act of loose bounderies, in our brains (this goes the same with people who don't have ADHD as well) we relate to their own anxiety.

the words HE SHE and so on are relating words. thus "My roomate has anxiety and HE really needs to work on it" means "I have anxiety"
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  #32  
Old 05-22-18, 08:14 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Actually I am helping my roommate, who is horribly stuck, go through the same beginning process I did when I was unable to take care of myself. In order to get him back up and running. And to get him back to work and in society and productive.

He pays practically nothing to live here and all I require is that he does the cat boxes and goes to his appointments regularly and makes improvements. Right now we are working on anxiety.

Should I have just said "**** you good luck" and went about my life?

No, he needs this ****. I know what he needs to get better because I know him. I gave ballparks for my post because I don't know exactly who would be reading it (also considering people who lurk).

Also why I said it's fine to PM me with questions.

I do this **** in real life too. Again, at no benefit to me. I'm actually losing money on a normal roommate. But he needed help so I said he could come live with me and get his **** together.
I've spent a lot of time in the last 2 years in a group for adult children of narcissistic mothers.

What you have written above is what is termed in those sorts of groups as 'infantising'.

If you have narcissistic parents (IDK if you do or not) then that stuffs up your sense of self and doesn't allow you to learn to develop appropriate boundaries.

Taking my adhd hat off and putting my adult child of narc mothers hat on, I think you need some help to establish healthy boundaries for yourself.

Coz it's coming across like a compulsion to save the world. I know what that feels like and what that presents like.

You don't have to save anyone. Just yourself.
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  #33  
Old 05-22-18, 09:48 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post


But I'll be damned if I'm going to let an entire forum of people sit around in misery just submitting to their ailments and putting them on display. What is the point of any mental health forum if you aren't helping people feel better, do more, and reach life goals?
Actually, most of what you say makes sense, so maybe it's the way you're
putting it?

BUT that paragraph above ... that is insulting and that's the only way I see to
interpret it.

I can assure you that this is not "an entire forum of people" who are in misery
and are sitting around complaining and not doing anything to help ourselves.




Perhaps the only point you can can see in being a member of a forum like this
one is give what you believe is good advice, but to the reader it may seem like
yet more hectoring to do better or try harder. We've already heard it.


Sometimes the point is simply in being empathetic and feeling like we're not
the only one in the world who struggles with a particular problem.

Sometimes the point is to have a safe place to rant (whine or complain) without
being told we could fix the problem if we'd just get off our butts.


And if you're not sure whether the person is just ranting or would actually
welcome some advice, it's okay to get it wrong. We're not perfect and we're
not mind readers. But if someone says "Thanks but that's not what I was
hoping to hear" don't insist you were right and they "misinterpreted" you.
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  #34  
Old 05-23-18, 02:23 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
One of the best things you can do if you are depressed is... well... anything. Doing anything helps depression.
Serious depression is not something that I have a problem with. But I have a good friends who does suffers from pretty extreme depression, and I know from hearing him talk about it that when he's depressed, even doing anything at all is more than he can do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlesH View Post
Sometimes whining is a necessary stage of the healing process. And people go through different stages at their own pace.
I agree. Most people who have been diagnosed with ADHD go through a grieving process, and it does help to vent those feelings. And I'm not sure that they ever completely go away. But it is comforting to talk with and read the posts of other people who have had the same kinds of experiences and the same kinds of feelings. There's quite a bit of healing that comes just from that.

As someone who has always felt a little bit like an outsider, like someone who doesn't belong, these forums are one place where I do feel a sense of belonging.
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  #35  
Old 05-23-18, 03:27 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

No, my roommate actually has anxiety. Like certified. He has the benzos to prove it. His anxiety is not controlled.

I have anxiety, it is controlled.

I have a tendency to help people out. Help them move or run errands with them when their car breaks down. Let them live with me while they get their **** together for example.

I have absolutely no clue what everyone is so ****** off about. Maybe it's the autism. No clue whatsoever. The best I can gather is some of the way I say things.

Sorry, I don't write poetry. And I speak autism, sometimes bipolar.

I hear things from people that make me think they don't WANT to be where they are.

It's not a matter of who fights or how bad off they are or etc.

What matters is that I see some people not happy with their lives so I offer advice. They need tools, not to fight harder.

Lunacie: hyperbole. Sorry, don't come across well in text. Some people on here seem to be doing well and some people do not. And there are a lot of lurkers. So someone might find the information useful. If they do, that is the point. If I chose bad language to express it, this is why I write software, not books. If you don't need it, just go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

And I'm on the other side now. I've made it out. I want other people to make it out, too, because they deserve to. Even if they don't think they can right now.
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  #36  
Old 05-23-18, 04:26 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
But I'll be damned if I'm going to let an entire forum of people sit around in misery just submitting to their ailments and putting them on display. What is the point of any mental health forum if you aren't helping people feel better, do more, and reach life goals?
This is the sticking point that I think people are having trouble with. I think its awesome you want to help, after all why else are we here at least to a point? But the way the above is worded is what turns people off.
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  #37  
Old 05-23-18, 04:44 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

you don't have to write poetically.

ok, think of a math problem. say you are in algebra or cal or linear or something. when you are at algebra you can see the mistakes those who are struggling make because you too where once there and made the same mistakes.

well that analogy goes with any territory, it's what I say by "we can see in ourselves what we see in others". Myself and a few other's are seeing some mistakes that you are making that we have struggled with on our own terms. how we write is really the closest to how we think, that indicates who we have relationships with, how those relationships define us, how we view ourselfs etc....

communication(writing and talking) is how the brain is wired for thought. think of the math analogy in this. when you are taking cal, algebra problems are no problem.

want to know how to spot a liar, spot your own lies and be honest with yourself and really dissect the language.

want to know how to spot someone who is telling the truth, start telling the truth and really dissect the language.

want to know how much someone loves themself? start loving yourself and really dicect how you talk to yourself and about yourself.

want to know how to spot projection and protect yourself from other peoples toxins? understand what projection is and find yourself projecting.

want to forgive other people, forgive yourself

want to be more friendly to others? be more friendly to yourself

this concept can be broken down even further.

if you don't know something, what is the first thing you do? you go out and search for that information, you don't have the answer so you ask around for it. it's the same with our own emotional state. when we aren't helping ourselves, we look to help other's.

when we don't know why we are angry, we think everyone else is angry.

when we are insecure, it's the other guys fault. you know, the guy that sounds a lot like us and shure he has the same condition that I do, but I'm in control, he isn't.

no one can read minds, we can only read your words. but in coming to understand ourselves we have come to understand those same issues we once had in other's. that is the very reason I say "the only time when someone can even know how to help someone else is by helping ourselves", but we can only lead so far, I do have myself to think of.

take for instance my sister, she used to have panic attacks, same as me. when I found out how to control my own panicked state I could finally help her with her's..
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  #38  
Old 05-23-18, 11:01 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post

Lunacie: hyperbole. Sorry, don't come across well in text. Some people on here seem to be doing well and some people do not. And there are a lot of lurkers. So someone might find the information useful. If they do, that is the point. If I chose bad language to express it, this is why I write software, not books. If you don't need it, just go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

And I'm on the other side now. I've made it out. I want other people to make it out, too, because they deserve to. Even if they don't think they can right now.
hy·per·bo·le
noun
exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.


I have no idea at all what you mean in saying this.
Are you saying your statements have been hyperbole, or that mine was?

I also have autism (adhd, anxiety, depression, ptsd, migraine disorder, and
several physical problems).

Yes, I have struggled to communicate clearly, but I've perservered and am
finally doing better. Or so I've been told.

Is reading about someone else's depression triggering of your own memories
of being in that deep dark well with no apparent way out?

So many of us have also experienced (or are experiencing) depression, often
a result of feeling like a failure, and have been told we could be better if we just
tried, or if we just thought differently.

Society is conditioned to believe that we just need to change our thinking to
stop the depression. It's not that simple. We don't WANT to be depressed.

I sure don't want to be in migraine pain at least 50% of the time, but changing
my thought patterns won't make the pain go away. It's neurological and it's
real. I do manage to deal with it and generally don't sink into depression like
I used to because I learned how to change negative thinking.

In some cases depression is also very much a neurological condition that can
be dealt with better with less negative thinking, but our thoughts did not cause
the depression and they cannot fix it.

And that seems to be the message others are taking away from your posts ...
that we could fix it if we only wanted to. No. We. Can't. Fix. It.
We can learn how to deal with it better. It's a subtle difference, but it feels
much bigger to our psyches.


By the way ... NO, you don't get to tell us that the whole forum is filled with
people stuck in their collective misery, and then try to say that if your post
doesn't apply to an individual they should simply skip over it.



And I wonder how it felt for you to read that I also have autism and have
been learning to communicate more clearly, perhaps seeing an implication
that you should also be able to do that, be doing it already, and stop using
it as an excuse?
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  #39  
Old 05-23-18, 12:43 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Old 05-23-18, 03:29 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post

I actually don't do CBT. Doesn't work for me. I have read up on it (and other systems) But it does seem to help a LOT of people and is fairly simple which is why I suggested it as a first go. I'm going to go for trends rather than my own personal way of doing s**t.

I would not suggest my personal methods to anyone here. Ever.
I don’t understand why you would encourage others to use CBT when it didn’t work for you. Why not share what did work for you?

Most of us here are already familiar with the generic routes for treating depression. Insight into your experience could be much more helpful. Many of us have gone down the generic roads for years to no avail.

Sharing our personal experiences here is much more valuable to me. I can look up about everything else besides those.
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  #41  
Old 05-23-18, 04:56 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Hyperbole was in reference to my statement, not yours.

And I don't expect everyone in here to become a Hollywood star and I've dealt well with the autism for a long time and this is what you get. I'm well, not neurotypical.

Okay so everyone seems to have made this about 2 things.

1) I said people come here to commiserate. Which is great and reassuring. But it usually doesn't get you anywhere. I've been on enough forums with enough diversity to know that with forums like breeds like. And sometimes that means ending up in a cycle of sympathizing your way into a for loop with no exit statement (yes. I went there.) I stated that I wasn't okay with this just turning into that. And I'm honestly not.

And if it really bothers you I think you have your own issues and need thicker skin. Something I highly recommend if you want to be at your peak.

2) Me personally. And whether I made up my roommate. Did I become psychotic somewhere in the middle here? Yes, I do have a roommate and he has green hair and picks up cat poop. I pay the bills, he does the poop. It was mutually agreed upon. And him getting better was agreed upon. I have offered any services he needs including things like taking him to the psych when his car broke down or giving him gas money. Because I won't let him sit and rot like he was before. I helped him get on disability and now I'm helping him get back off.

I'm trying to get him to my psych because the place he is at won't give ADHD medication unless you are a) working or b) going to school. I don't think it ever occurred to anyone that someone might need the god damned meds to do the work or the school.


Quote:
I also have autism (adhd, anxiety, depression, ptsd, migraine disorder, and
several physical problems).
I will see your autism, ADHD, anxiety and PTSD, and up you a bipolar and blepharospasms that I use rose tinted migraine glasses for. FL-41 I believe. Expensive but better than Botox shots in your eyes every 3 months. If you haven't tried them may be worth a shot for your migraines. Migraines are what they were actually made for. The pink goes GREAT with my blue hair. Totally. And then don't forget the fibromyalgia, PCOS, and herniated/degenerate/bulging disk pinching a nerve. (Stupid sky diving)

I showed symptoms of bipolar since the age of 16 and I was about 28 when I was taken to a psych because people get pissy when you try to kill yourself. Been on meds since then. Still an ever changing tapestry. But I'm stabilized enough. I work full time. Hence why in another thread I suggested that everyone US side get their ADA paperwork in to secure there jobs if they happen to be locked up. Now they legally can't get rid of my job if that happens.

I've been working where I am now for over 3 years. I have not had any unmanageable episodes. I am heavily medicated. I would say don't do that unless you have no choice. Part of the reason I don't suggest people take my route. But if **** gets real I have Ativan PRN that I don't use often that I can down and pass out. I also don't suggest doing that. All legally prescribed.

I'm not projecting anything onto anyone. If you want a reason it would be whatever reason I keep tutoring disadvantaged teen and adults through the GED. Or clean cat cages once a month. I also volunteer with them separately. I'm a volunteer leader with the first group. About to hit 100 hours.

I think it's to make people less stupid, because I don't like stupid. Everyone else just thinks I'm hella nice. I keep trying to tell them I'm an *******. And I love animals more than humans. How that applies here I don't know.

There are things I am just compelled to do for whatever reason. So I do them.

All my issues are currently under control. For all intents and purposes I've made it through to the other side. And I KNEW I would never get better. Not with how bad I was. I'd never be able to do anything again.

I was wrong.

And I'm here to tell other people that they are wrong.

And it took a lot of time and a lot of work to get here. I fought tooth and nail. All in order to be told I'm projecting my own issues onto a forum where I'm giving out steps to try to get better. I'm pretty sure I don't need to say if you don't like it, don't read it. If it doesn't help you it doesn't help you. But if there is a single person out there it DOES help then job done. We can go back and forth forever. What people think of me stopped mattering to me a long long time ago.

I am a single mother with a "good job" making "good money". I have a "nice car". Saving up for the house. I have real life friends. I'm dating someone and it is not a toxic relationship. I volunteer. I do yoga. I meditate. Just did a 5k on Saturday. (Yeah, those two doctors that said I would never run again: F U) I'm a member of the events committee at work and will be running a large scale event on my own. I kayak. I hike. I'm hoping to be back to working towards my skydiving license this year. Just went through a mild cycling phase that I believe is from the Risperdal but seems to be okay now. I still have minor upsets but major victories.

And I will say again I am not a special little snowflake. You may not make it here but I bet you can make it somewhere.

Everyone makes a point to say I'm talking like people aren't fighting hard enough. I will say first fight smarter, not harder. You'll go farther and be less worn out. Secondly every time I got worse I thought that was it. But it just kept getting worse. And the worse it got the harder I had to fight even when I thought all the fight had left me. My options were literally fight or die. So can you fight harder? Probably.

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice."
~ Bob Marley

Like I said, CBT has a great track record. If my mind weren't so f***ed already it might help me but my brain isn't very normal. I tried and kinda successfully used it for intrusive thoughts for a bit but now either that or the meds have stopped those enough that I'm able to cope. Maybe it's the bipolar but I don't need thoughts to feel like utter ****. Moods just hit me for no reason. Its hard to stop something you can't see coming. I can't really counter a stray emotion.

The big thing is to figure out what YOU are thinking and what is the DEPRESSION(ailment of choice) thinking. Because if it's depression those two things are very, very different. It's a lens you see everything through. At some point you can't imagine life without it. I was scared as hell medication would make me not me anymore. But it saved my life. Some people are concerned about meds and I say pfft. Living proof. Right here. What I loss with medication I do not miss. Few stray side effects. Some just plain odd.

I'm concerned about people trying to do what I do because I am balls to the walls crazy. For example: I change the med and just tell my psych to write a new script and she does. I titrate up faster than you should. I titrate down faster than you should. I don't think anyone should ever be on the meds I'm on. lol. I have a medication for every occasion. I found out about the ADHD accidentally but I don't think I'm allowed to talk about that.

There, a novel just for you guys. I'm not proofreading all that **** so I hope it's comprehensible.

And I'm not letting you guys make me late for yoga.
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  #42  
Old 05-23-18, 05:15 PM
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Lunacie Lunacie is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Hyperbole was in reference to my statement, not yours.

And I don't expect everyone in here to become a Hollywood star and I've dealt well with the autism for a long time and this is what you get. I'm well, not neurotypical.

Okay so everyone seems to have made this about 2 things.

1) I said people come here to commiserate. Which is great and reassuring. But it usually doesn't get you anywhere. I've been on enough forums with enough diversity to know that with forums like breeds like. And sometimes that means ending up in a cycle of sympathizing your way into a for loop with no exit statement (yes. I went there.) I stated that I wasn't okay with this just turning into that. And I'm honestly not.

And if it really bothers you I think you have your own issues and need thicker skin. Something I highly recommend if you want to be at your peak.

2) Me personally. And whether I made up my roommate. Did I become psychotic somewhere in the middle here? Yes, I do have a roommate and he has green hair and picks up cat poop. I pay the bills, he does the poop. It was mutually agreed upon. And him getting better was agreed upon. I have offered any services he needs including things like taking him to the psych when his car broke down or giving him gas money. Because I won't let him sit and rot like he was before. I helped him get on disability and now I'm helping him get back off.

I'm trying to get him to my psych because the place he is at won't give ADHD medication unless you are a) working or b) going to school. I don't think it ever occurred to anyone that someone might need the god damned meds to do the work or the school.




I will see your autism, ADHD, anxiety and PTSD, and up you a bipolar and blepharospasms that I use rose tinted migraine glasses for. FL-41 I believe. Expensive but better than Botox shots in your eyes every 3 months. If you haven't tried them may be worth a shot for your migraines. Migraines are what they were actually made for. The pink goes GREAT with my blue hair. Totally. And then don't forget the fibromyalgia, PCOS, and herniated/degenerate/bulging disk pinching a nerve. (Stupid sky diving)

I showed symptoms of bipolar since the age of 16 and I was about 28 when I was taken to a psych because people get pissy when you try to kill yourself. Been on meds since then. Still an ever changing tapestry. But I'm stabilized enough. I work full time. Hence why in another thread I suggested that everyone US side get their ADA paperwork in to secure there jobs if they happen to be locked up. Now they legally can't get rid of my job if that happens.

I've been working where I am now for over 3 years. I have not had any unmanageable episodes. I am heavily medicated. I would say don't do that unless you have no choice. Part of the reason I don't suggest people take my route. But if **** gets real I have Ativan PRN that I don't use often that I can down and pass out. I also don't suggest doing that. All legally prescribed.

I'm not projecting anything onto anyone. If you want a reason it would be whatever reason I keep tutoring disadvantaged teen and adults through the GED. Or clean cat cages once a month. I also volunteer with them separately. I'm a volunteer leader with the first group. About to hit 100 hours.

I think it's to make people less stupid, because I don't like stupid. Everyone else just thinks I'm hella nice. I keep trying to tell them I'm an *******. And I love animals more than humans. How that applies here I don't know.

There are things I am just compelled to do for whatever reason. So I do them.

All my issues are currently under control. For all intents and purposes I've made it through to the other side. And I KNEW I would never get better. Not with how bad I was. I'd never be able to do anything again.

I was wrong.

And I'm here to tell other people that they are wrong.

And it took a lot of time and a lot of work to get here. I fought tooth and nail. All in order to be told I'm projecting my own issues onto a forum where I'm giving out steps to try to get better. I'm pretty sure I don't need to say if you don't like it, don't read it. If it doesn't help you it doesn't help you. But if there is a single person out there it DOES help then job done. We can go back and forth forever. What people think of me stopped mattering to me a long long time ago.

I am a single mother with a "good job" making "good money". I have a "nice car". Saving up for the house. I have real life friends. I'm dating someone and it is not a toxic relationship. I volunteer. I do yoga. I meditate. Just did a 5k on Saturday. (Yeah, those two doctors that said I would never run again: F U) I'm a member of the events committee at work and will be running a large scale event on my own. I kayak. I hike. I'm hoping to be back to working towards my skydiving license this year. Just went through a mild cycling phase that I believe is from the Risperdal but seems to be okay now. I still have minor upsets but major victories.

And I will say again I am not a special little snowflake. You may not make it here but I bet you can make it somewhere.

Everyone makes a point to say I'm talking like people aren't fighting hard enough. I will say first fight smarter, not harder. You'll go farther and be less worn out. Secondly every time I got worse I thought that was it. But it just kept getting worse. And the worse it got the harder I had to fight even when I thought all the fight had left me. My options were literally fight or die. So can you fight harder? Probably.

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice."
~ Bob Marley

Like I said, CBT has a great track record. If my mind weren't so f***ed already it might help me but my brain isn't very normal. I tried and kinda successfully used it for intrusive thoughts for a bit but now either that or the meds have stopped those enough that I'm able to cope. Maybe it's the bipolar but I don't need thoughts to feel like utter ****. Moods just hit me for no reason. Its hard to stop something you can't see coming. I can't really counter a stray emotion.

The big thing is to figure out what YOU are thinking and what is the DEPRESSION(ailment of choice) thinking. Because if it's depression those two things are very, very different. It's a lens you see everything through. At some point you can't imagine life without it. I was scared as hell medication would make me not me anymore. But it saved my life. Some people are concerned about meds and I say pfft. Living proof. Right here. What I loss with medication I do not miss. Few stray side effects. Some just plain odd.

I'm concerned about people trying to do what I do because I am balls to the walls crazy. For example: I change the med and just tell my psych to write a new script and she does. I titrate up faster than you should. I titrate down faster than you should. I don't think anyone should ever be on the meds I'm on. lol. I have a medication for every occasion. I found out about the ADHD accidentally but I don't think I'm allowed to talk about that.

There, a novel just for you guys. I'm not proofreading all that **** so I hope it's comprehensible.

And I'm not letting you guys make me late for yoga.
Okay, re your post not mine.
But why were you saying that your post was hyperbole?
Are you saying that we shouldn't take what you write literally?
Ever?



I'm going to quote myself here because apparently you didn't read this . . .

Quote:
Sometimes the point is simply in being empathetic and feeling like we're not
the only one in the world who struggles with a particular problem.

Sometimes the point is to have a safe place to rant (whine or complain) without
being told we could fix the problem if we'd just get off our butts.
That doesn't mean that ranting (whining or complaining) is ALL we ever do.

Just that we need to do it now and then and get something off our chest.

And this usually feels like a safe place to do that because these are people
who actually "get us" and understand why we're ranting.

Not that we're asking for someone to tell us how to get busy and fix ourselves
because ya know what they were able to do it (but they can't tell us how they
did it).

Sometimes we do ask for that kind of advice, and it's usually pretty clear that
we'd like a little bit of help, please and thanks.



And how in the heck can any of us make you late for yoga without coming to
your house and holding you prisoner?

That's not a real question because I don't want to know how to do that because
I wouldn't ever do that to someone else.


Oh yeah ... I wasn't trying to start a contest to see who has the most letters
in their diagnosis.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
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  #43  
Old 05-23-18, 05:57 PM
CharlesH CharlesH is offline
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
I've been on enough forums with enough diversity to know that with forums like breeds like. And sometimes that means ending up in a cycle of sympathizing your way into a for loop with no exit statement (yes. I went there.) I stated that I wasn't okay with this just turning into that. And I'm honestly not.
So you say that you aren't "okay" with the general state of this forum. I doubt this forum's culture is going to change, so you have two choices:

1) Learn to become "okay" with it

2) Leave
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  #44  
Old 05-23-18, 07:49 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Okay, re your post not mine.
But why were you saying that your post was hyperbole?
You quoted something I said which I replied was a hyperbole. Can't find it right now. It wasn't the whole post just the line.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
That doesn't mean that ranting (whining or complaining) is ALL we ever do.

Just that we need to do it now and then and get something off our chest.
The problem with this isn't that it's done its that it tends to lead to enabling. I don't want that to be everything. ***** away, but don't forget to keep your eyes on the prize. Its really easy to hit that slippery slope.


Woohoo.
Somebody thinks very highly of themselves.

I choose neither.

gg

Now I'm going to go update my original post with more tips.
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Old 05-23-18, 08:26 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Okay I can't so I'll post it here.

Meditation and yoga. I just got out of a restorative class in which you basically do both. You stay in the same comfortable-ish position for like 5-10 minutes. This is a very gentle and easy yoga but you'd still get benefits.

I did it for like 2 weeks and got bored so now I do 90 degree hot power Vinyasa flow classes. Again, something I did but I do not suggest doing. (Noticing a trend here?) I'd honestly check with your doctor before doing any heat classes. It gets pretty intense. I had to walk out the first class I tried but now I pick the hottest corner. However, for my fibromyalgia the heat is what really does it. You're just about melting when you get out of class. I could not stand the fibro without the hot yoga.

The only reason I go to class is because I'm not heating my house up to 90 degrees every time I want to practice. Here is a very gentle beginners yoga. But I can't do that, you say. Yes, I say, you are physically capable of sitting on a floor and bending in one direction. Your brain may say no but the rest of the world says yes. What else were you going to use that 20 minutes for anyway?



Meditation. Here check this one out it's only 5 minutes. You can DEFINITELY sit and do nothing while listening to some chick talk for 5 minutes.



Eventually for meditation you want to step away from guided meditation and switch to another form be it mindfulness or breath or focusing on an object or whatever. Mindfulness is the big boy right now there is a ton of information about it out there if you are interested. I normally do 25 minutes sessions and focus on my breathing at first and then switch to focusing on nothing and keeping things from popping into my head. (this is HARD with ADHD, and I've been doing it for years so don't get discouraged. And again not something you should start with.) Just gently switch your focus back to what you were focusing on and let the thoughts float out of your head. I prefer to give mine a gentle push just for emphasis. Or I will literally meditate over some issue or idea or something that has been bugging me.

What do these things do for me or, in this case, you? 1) it gives you something obtainable to do. However long you can go on the first video and 5 minutes of sitting quietly for the second. These are things you CAN do. Right now, in fact. 2) Relaxation. Through yoga you quiet the body and through meditation you quiet the mind. I have far fewer intrusive thoughts when I do both regularly. 3) Stress release. Especially if you work up in yoga you put your everything into it.

"The pose begins when you want to leave it."
-B.K.S. Iyengar

There is always something new to do, be it sink another inch into a pose or work on basic inversions. This makes me feel less like I want to throw someone out a window. If you are feeling frustrated or stressed do yoga. Yoga is a chance to push yourself and at the same time accept where you are in your practice, which is exactly where you need to be. Whatever level that happens to be. 4) Endorphins! Happy little endorphins to bring joy to you and will eventually make you crave your flavour of exercise.

“Yoga is not about tightening your ***. It’s about getting your head out of it.”
–Eric Paskel
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