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  #46  
Old 05-23-18, 08:36 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
The problem with this isn't that it's done its that it tends to lead to enabling. I don't want that to be everything. ***** away, but don't forget to keep your eyes on the prize. Its really easy to hit that slippery slope.
This place is meant to be a safe place where one can vent and get perspective where they have no other outlet in real life.

But nooooooo... we're doing it allllll wrong - coz you said so.

Never mind that the forum has functioned successfully for 15 years.... minor detail.
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  #47  
Old 05-23-18, 08:41 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
You quoted something I said which I replied was a hyperbole. Can't find it right now. It wasn't the whole post just the line.
Do you mean this bit ...

Quote:
But I'll be damned if I'm going to let an entire forum of people sit around in misery just submitting to their ailments and putting them on display. What is the point of any mental health forum if you aren't helping people feel better, do more, and reach life goals?
So you weren't actually dissing every posting member of this forum?
I guess we don't know you well enough yet
to know when you mean what you say
and when you don't mean what you say.

Our bad ... not.


Quote:
The problem with this isn't that it's done its that it tends to lead to enabling. I don't want that to be everything. ***** away, but don't forget to keep your eyes on the prize. Its really easy to hit that slippery slope.


Woohoo.
Somebody thinks very highly of themselves.

I choose neither.

gg

Now I'm going to go update my original post with more tips.
So you think you join a new forum and right away you get to decide what
you don't want it to be?

Most of the responses have been assuring you that's not the tone of this forum,
but you don't seem to hear that. Or you don't believe that.

Maybe you could spend more than a month getting to know the forum
and the regular members before deciding that we are enablers
and "think very highly" of ourselves.

On the whole, we are neither "whiners" or "enablers."
But don't take my word for it.
Read lots and lots of posts.
Get to know us.
Get to know the tone of the forum.
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  #48  
Old 05-23-18, 08:51 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Okay seriously. Weighted blankets. I have never slept so well in my life. I've had it for a few months. Anyone with SPD or AD or even ADHD should invest in one. Mine had a 30 day guarantee I believe. If I'm stressed out sometimes I'll just hop into bed just because of the blanket. And my 12 lb lap blanket I use at work. It helps me get through those long meetings that frustrated me so much.
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  #49  
Old 05-23-18, 08:58 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Okay seriously. Weighted blankets. I have never slept so well in my life. I've had it for a few months. Anyone with SPD or AD or even ADHD should invest in one. Mine had a 30 day guarantee I believe. If I'm stressed out sometimes I'll just hop into bed just because of the blanket. And my 12 lb lap blanket I use at work. It helps me get through those long meetings that frustrated me so much.
When I go to the dentist I wear the xray apron because it is heavy. I love it.
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  #50  
Old 05-23-18, 09:08 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Okay seriously. Weighted blankets. I have never slept so well in my life. I've had it for a few months. Anyone with SPD or AD or even ADHD should invest in one. Mine had a 30 day guarantee I believe. If I'm stressed out sometimes I'll just hop into bed just because of the blanket. And my 12 lb lap blanket I use at work. It helps me get through those long meetings that frustrated me so much.
My daughter loves heavy blankets.

My granddaughter and I like just a sheet, and our feet sticking out usually.

Glad you found something that works for you.

My love is a good foam mattress topper, but then I have back pain.

I had to take Zoloft and Trazadone for awhile to sleep well.
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  #51  
Old 05-23-18, 09:17 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I have a plush foam mattress. I tried a cheaper one and I was back in PT within the week. So I got the foam plush top one and that seems to do okay. Except for whatever is up with this waking up in pain every morning thing. (Risperdal?)

I was waking up with severe lower back pain (L4-L5 where my disk is fuxored). They gave me Zanaflex for that. I'm prescribed it all the time for the fibro but I just use it at night to stop the horrifying back pain. I can't take Tarazadone because it makes me feel really hungover.

I take all my meds at night save my Adderall and Risperdal (one night, one morning) but my sleep cocktail is Ambien, Zanaflex, and klonopin. Ativan if my brain refuses to shut up and the meditation didn't work.

Oh they have weighted vests for the same sensory issues. You could have your own x-ray apron!

Last edited by LyrinMeow; 05-23-18 at 09:22 PM.. Reason: Vests
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  #52  
Old 05-23-18, 10:01 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
I have a plush foam mattress. I tried a cheaper one and I was back in PT within the week. So I got the foam plush top one and that seems to do okay. Except for whatever is up with this waking up in pain every morning thing. (Risperdal?)

I was waking up with severe lower back pain (L4-L5 where my disk is fuxored). They gave me Zanaflex for that. I'm prescribed it all the time for the fibro but I just use it at night to stop the horrifying back pain. I can't take Tarazadone because it makes me feel really hungover.

I take all my meds at night save my Adderall and Risperdal (one night, one morning) but my sleep cocktail is Ambien, Zanaflex, and klonopin. Ativan if my brain refuses to shut up and the meditation didn't work.

Oh they have weighted vests for the same sensory issues. You could have your own x-ray apron!
We stayed in a hotel over Christmas with those plush foam topped mattresses.
I could not sleep on it. I could not roll over on it. I could not get up from it.
I was hurting. I unfolded the hideabed sleeper and did okay on that.

At home I have a heavy piece of plywood between the box springs and the
mattress, and a good foam topper on top of that. That's what works for me.

After 40 years of this back pain because no doctor ever ordered an xray, last
week I had a spinal steroid epidural. I can roll over in bed with no pain, but it
still hurts like a mother if I stand or walk for more than 5 minutes. Thinking
about getting a second shot to see if it improves a little more and trying pilates.

I take all my pills and supplements first thing in the morning. I simply cannot
remember to do it twice a day. I don't even remember to do it each morning.

I can't wear a heavy coat, or heavy shoes, or carry a heavy purse. If I have
more than 10 coins in my wallet in my pocket it's too heavy for me. I couldn't
carry my daughter or grandkids, they had go in a stroller. And my grandkids
only weighed 5 pounds for the first 2 months.

Life is a spectrum. It's awesome when we find someone who shares the same
quirks we do, but we are still different in other ways.
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  #53  
Old 05-23-18, 10:11 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

This thread makes me sad

I really do think Lyrin was coming from concern and care for others.
And I'm saying this as someone who called her out before I think anyone else did on these forums as feeling threatened, jealous and uncomfortable with her.

I also think there's a LOT of truth in what she has to say.

And I think she has a lot of great advice.

...and I see a LOT of people jumping on her...and I'm sad by it. A lot of it doesn't make sense to me. I mean I get that she comes across as saying we're just not trying hard enough and what not...I took some of her posts (before this thread) in the same way.

But my goodness guys...some of you are just straight attacking her without listening (and I mean REALLY listening) to a damned word she's saying.
Instead of hearing her out...you just find more fuel in her words to grow the growing flame.

And I know...I'm going to be the bad guy for calling ya'll out on this...I should side with my friends and all that.

But...man! This thread just sucks IMHO.

I'm going to say it flat out...
I feel sorry for Lyrin here.
I haven't read every single post here...but I've read enough.

...

I think a lot of us have taken Lyrin in the wrong way. I don't think she meant AT ALL to come across the way she's come across. I think she was genuinely just trying to be helpful.

But damn. We've really beaten the hell out of her with bats haven't we? I'm VERY much including myself as I called her out very publicly myself before anyone else here did.

Am I missing something here guys?
Why are we being so freaking hard on her?



Sorry **** has hit the fan so hard for you Lys.

(((((((Ly-Lys)))))))
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  #54  
Old 05-23-18, 11:37 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
This thread makes me sad

I really do think Lyrin was coming from concern and care for others.
And I'm saying this as someone who called her out before I think anyone else did on these forums as feeling threatened, jealous and uncomfortable with her.

I also think there's a LOT of truth in what she has to say.

And I think she has a lot of great advice.

...and I see a LOT of people jumping on her...and I'm sad by it. A lot of it doesn't make sense to me. I mean I get that she comes across as saying we're just not trying hard enough and what not...I took some of her posts (before this thread) in the same way.

But my goodness guys...some of you are just straight attacking her without listening (and I mean REALLY listening) to a damned word she's saying.
Instead of hearing her out...you just find more fuel in her words to grow the growing flame.

And I know...I'm going to be the bad guy for calling ya'll out on this...I should side with my friends and all that.

But...man! This thread just sucks IMHO.

I'm going to say it flat out...
I feel sorry for Lyrin here.
I haven't read every single post here...but I've read enough.

...

I think a lot of us have taken Lyrin in the wrong way. I don't think she meant AT ALL to come across the way she's come across. I think she was genuinely just trying to be helpful.

But damn. We've really beaten the hell out of her with bats haven't we? I'm VERY much including myself as I called her out very publicly myself before anyone else here did.

Am I missing something here guys?
Why are we being so freaking hard on her?



Sorry **** has hit the fan so hard for you Lys.

(((((((Ly-Lys)))))))
I've seen this happen several times over the years on this forum.

A new poster writes something that feels like an attack on the forum

and/or an attack on the members . . .

and I'm sure they feel like everyone dog-piles on top of them.

It's what we do. We are loyal to this forum.



Attack one of us, and some will question what you think you're doing.

Attack the forum itself and meet a solid wall of defense.

This is a good forum. No, it's a great forum.

If the first thing a new poster does is complain about the forum

and want to change it to fit what they think would be better

we tend to lock arms and stand strong.



Could the forum work better? Sure.

But if someone shows up and the first thing they want to do

is start changing things

without taking the time to see what actually works here,

they get stone-walled. Every time.



No, I don't think LyrinMeow was actively trying to attack the forum

or any of the posters,

but that's how her posts came across to quite a few of us.

Hopefully she can find a better way to share her ideas and experiences

without sounding like we are too ignorant to help each other.



*cue SuperMeow to the rescue*

*cue "We Don't Need Another Hero"*
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  #55  
Old 05-23-18, 11:51 PM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Sorry for climbing up on my high horse...this thread just doesn't seem right to me though.
It didn't feel right for me to go off on her like I did either several days ago.

I think she is trying to explain herself, we're just not giving her a chance. We're jumping down her throat so that the only way she can react is defensively.

...but, and this is a big but...I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to these sorts of things. And by ignorant...I mean dumb! lol...I'm likely missing a bunch of stuff here and am being too narrow minded and trying too hard to look good/be a hero/whatever so that I'm not seeing the whole picture.
So...I'm going to attempt to leave this thread alone.

I really would hate to frustrate anyone enough to lose a friendship or anything over it.

(((Hugs To Anyone Who'd Take One From A Fool Like Me)))
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Old 05-24-18, 12:46 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I for one am not a fan of being insulted. I'm not gonna thank someone for being insulting. And I'm sure not gonna apologise for feeling insulted.

If you're apologising for how you feel you're apologising for being real.

One thing I learned in my time away was how I'd been contributing to my own feelings of worthlessness by putting everyone else above me.

If I did the wrong thing I'd apologise.

If someone else did the wrong thing I'd apologise.

Always freaking apologising when I'd done nothing wrong.

I'm the adult child of a narcissistic mother and my family have taken her side. But I'm not a victim and I don't take crap from anyone.

Lyrinmeow has as much to learn from this place as what she has to offer. In some of her many statements she is right but it's all in the delivery which is a learning experience for her if she chooses to accept it. That suggestions and solutions are better received without being intertwined with insults.

That's how this sh-- works.
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Old 05-24-18, 01:18 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
stuff stuff

society

stuff
heh, I read your post but didn't want to grab the exact quote.
one of the very first things my therapist told me was society lies. something I knew well enough before the depression I had.

after all this time, that can be misconstrued as in "society lies (because you need to think that to get better and this will placate any paranoia).

nada. the end result is "society lies so learn how to tell the truth by knowing what that even looks like", sorty of like before I started listening to anything society said.
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Old 05-24-18, 01:31 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

all of that is wonderful and all. I meditate and am getting back on the work out routine.

Not CBT.

I see something you are doing that I did when I started, I was so turned around I didn't know what side was up.

I would talk about *you* and not refer to the person in front of me, or who I was directly talking to. those kinds of you's, the types that when we say them are really inferences from what other's have toxins on us in the past can leave us momentarily lapsing into the past. what I think I'm seeing in some of your own posts is references to part of your own past that we are not privy to.

again, I see concern, I see people trying to talk you(l) down. what I don't see is everyone being upset. I mean, how could everyone be upset the way you are saying we are.

I'm part of everyone and I'm sure as hell not.
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Old 05-24-18, 07:17 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

Quote:
Originally Posted by tudorose View Post
Lyrinmeow has as much to learn from this place as what she has to offer. In some of her many statements she is right but it's all in the delivery which is a learning experience for her if she chooses to accept it. That suggestions and solutions are better received without being intertwined with insults.
I agree with this. Her responses on this thread need rephrasing in order to not be offensive. And her overall idea that she would know what we could do better than we know our own selves is offensive. That she, not even a doctor and a complete stranger to us, can know that every single one of us can overcome our struggles - well that's wrong.

But I also agree with psycho and Lunacie. LyrinMeow first brought up the subject that sounded like "try harder" before she even made this thread. She unfortunately touched on a subject that many of us are sensitive to as we'd been told that our entire lives and no matter how hard we tried couldn't improve. Someone did need to tell her how her words impacted others then. But the way it was done. It was just as Lunacie and psycho said. We were the ones who first reacted with anger and in a way that a newcomer might very well think we were ganging on her. And now people are trying to correct that.

LyrinMeow, I hope you feel welcome on this thread. I for one would not hold one topic we disagree on against you.

That said, I really wish you could see how some of the things you have said doesn't help but actually is very hurtful to others.
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Old 05-24-18, 08:04 AM
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Re: Here's how this sh- works

I have a friend from AA named Teri. She is abrasive sounding sometimes and is very blunt. I used to think she didnt like me until I realized that she is actually quite sensitive. She has the ability to play devil's advocate yet maintain empathy. I think this is a possibility with LM.
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