My gaming addiction to adderall.
The last 6 months of my life have been plagued by 12+ hour video game sessions every single day. I lost my interest in video games around 15-16 years old I would say and I am 22 now. I was on Adderall from 1st grade up until high school when I went off cold turkey until now. I'm a senior is college now and I got back on about 6 months ago. Everything was going very well for a while. I was doing good in school, working alot, I had a good relationship and all of a sudden, I was addicted to video games and in turn started to abuse my adderall. It sounds ridiculous but it has really put a dark cloud over during this time. I look worn out from staying up all night, I don't work out like I used to, and I am very detached.
I am incredibly frustrated with my problems as of late but I've had some of the best times of my life over the past few months, which sounds absolutely sick because I was inside playing video games all day. I sat down to try out a game with my buddiy about 6 months ago and became very into it, but only because of adderall. When I was waking up and I hadn't taken my dose yet or if it was wearing off at the end of the day, I had absolutely 0 interest in video games, literally no interest at all. However, the thought of playing these video games while taking adderall was more addictive than anything I have ever dealt with and I have no idea why.
I would leave class because I had taken my adderall and couldn't stop thinking about these games. I didn't care to socialize or feel the need to. I only wanted to play when I had my adderall and I knew I could take more if I wanted too. So I started taking upwards of 150mgs and pulling all nighters just to play these ridiculous games. I have never been so addicted to anything in my entire life. And I've had plenty of experience with adderall over long periods of time with virtually no abuse aside from the occassional all nighter during finals week. Now I am going through my script in two weeks and playing video games for 14 hours a day. I have uninstalled the games, lost my passwords, but a part of me doesn't want to stop.
I have made the decision finally to give this up and to start taking my medication as directed and just let the video games fade, as I am sure they will. My life feels incredibly empty without something to obsess over and this past year its been video games. It just so happens those games were always paired with excessive amounts of adderall.
The most confusing part about all of this is that I don't normally like getting high on adderall. If there were no games, I would have no reason to get high and abuse my adderall.
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