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Old 03-09-18, 05:18 AM
Angnremorse Angnremorse is offline
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Are these problems beyond add?

I mean I daydream and can't focus for anything. It takes me way to long to complete tasks and to find and remember details that everyone else does with ease. However I looked at the social issues forum, and it seems that nobody really seemed to have shared my issues.

I have lots of trouble keeping friends because sometimes I either go through some anxiety attack and or slowed down mental pace in which I forget how to talk to people and seem awkward. It really sucks because I'm a great friend who never turns their back on anyone and always finds ways to cheer themup and comfort them. However sometimes they get mad because when I have these episodes I cant function right.
Also people I work with , especially over tend to fight with me because I'm not "open enough".... I dont know what that even means. I don't know what is appropriate to say and sometimes if I say something to try to appear "open" or try to ease the tension, they look at each other and smirk.
I mean I dont have trouble reading expressions, but I have trouble expressing myself.. also I appear stiff and awkward.... way too serious.. however this has subsided much due to me going gluten free. As a matter of fact going gluten free has really helped me focus so much more, as well as being less of a cluts by being able to sense space. Does this sound like something typical of add, or should I aim to get help somehow for both? How does one go about getting help for multiple issues?
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Old 03-09-18, 11:12 AM
daveddd daveddd is offline
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Re: Are these problems beyond add?

I share these issues. It’s part of adhd in a way. Like make people start off with adhd and end up with it looking different after it’s shaped by life

Some of the labels I can apply to myself are adhd with social anxiety. Avoidant personality disorder. Some alexthymia

These are all very very common outcomes/cohabitants with adhd
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Old 03-09-18, 11:17 AM
daveddd daveddd is offline
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Re: Are these problems beyond add?

The stiff wooden posture and trouble expressing yourself are traits described in alexthymia

Alexthymia isn’t a disorder It’s a problem with emotional regulation that leads to avoiding or not recognizing all, some or just one or two emotions. Especially in social interaction. It’s thought to have a basis in shame. Like an anxiety disorder. But shame is the emotion. Not anxiety

Most importantly. Yes other people struggle with this too. And a lot of people with adhd especially


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Old 03-09-18, 12:51 PM
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Re: Are these problems beyond add?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnremorse View Post
I mean I daydream and can't focus for anything. It takes me way to long to complete tasks and to find and remember details that everyone else does with ease. However I looked at the social issues forum, and it seems that nobody really seemed to have shared my issues.
You might want to look into SCT for this. There's a really good video on it around here as well as my summarization of it, but mind you I'm no psychologist and it is just what I personally took away from watching the video. Anyway, you can check that out here:
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=189174 SCT is not actually an official diagnosis yet and would most likely be diagnosed as primarily inattentive ADHD, but it will hopefully become its own diagnosis soon. You can have both ADHD and SCT, which is of course really troublesome. Your list of symptoms from another post I saw from you kind of reminds me of what the video said having both is like, but again, I'm no psychologist or any other fancy person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnremorse View Post
I have lots of trouble keeping friends because sometimes I either go through some anxiety attack and or slowed down mental pace in which I forget how to talk to people and seem awkward. It really sucks because I'm a great friend who never turns their back on anyone and always finds ways to cheer themup and comfort them. However sometimes they get mad because when I have these episodes I cant function right.
Just because you're a good friend to others doesn't mean everyone you meet will be a good friend to you. People who are like you describe yourself--always there to cheer people up and willing to do whatever they can for others--tend to attract people who take advantage of that kindness. It's unfortunate, but that is how it is.You may simply need to learn to set better boundaries for yourself, for example just outright saying "I'm feeling kind of blah today and would rather be by myself, I hope you understand" when you aren't in a social mood. No one is all sunshine and rainbows and has the mental and emotional energy to spend on others every day, nor should anyone expect that from you.

At work, you're the manager (you are the one who posted about being one, right? Sorry if I'm remembering incorrectly! ). You're in charge whether the people under you like it or not and you were put there for a reason. You don't have to be liked by them, you're there to see to it that the business is profitable and people are doing what they're supposed to be doing. That obviously doesn't mean that you should be a jerk on purpose or letting the power go to your head, but you don't seem like you're doing that at all.

Having good social skills will be immensely beneficial to everyone involved and luckily they can be developed. They are not only about how you treat others but also about how you let others treat you and how you respond to people around you. The first and most difficult part can be learning to respect yourself and expecting that same respect from others as well. Another part of that is also accepting that some people will have a problem with you having authority over them no matter what and that you have no control over that. That can be a really difficult part of being a manager for a more sensitive person (speaking as one myself), but that's something you will have to figure out how to accept.

I think you could really benefit from therapy no matter what and it should be your very first step. Also if you were indeed the one who posted the manager post I would strongly suggest you follow Sarah's advice that she gave you there, she knows what she's talking about.

TL;DR: You sound like a really good person who cares a lot about others, which is a great place to start from. It's a lot easier to develop better emotional habits and learning to set boundaries than it is to try to change someone's abusive nature. With some work and therapy you can learn to be as good to yourself as you like being to others.
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