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Old 04-12-17, 07:11 PM
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Smile Single ADD mom w ADHD/ODD/Et Al. 7yr boy

Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am 35yrs old, recently widowed mom to an incredible, smart, creative, beautiful...monster. I'm kidding, he's an angel...when he's asleep. he was diagnosed at age 5, about a year after we lost his dad, with ADHD. We quickly learned there was much more going on with him. He was later diagnosed with ODD after many months of screaming, hitting, disobedience, and crying. Okay, the crying was me, but the other stuff was him. Over the past 2 years, we struggled with medication, side effects (was the medicine making him act this way or is this a symptom of what he has and if it's the medication, which one?)

The biggest issue was me, though. I was in bad shape and doing a really bad job as a mom. I never followed through with punishments, I was depressed, I was constantly starting then quitting "perfect" structure routines for him. I forgot appointments, etc. I've always been like that but it was never that important until it affected my son. Riley and I go to therapy together and the therapist suggested I get tested for Adult ADD. Long story short, I went from being an untreated nightmare and worlds worst mom to responsible, motivated, joy I am today we still have rough days, but he is happy, healthy and we have a very close bond that we didn't have before.

After initial issues with side effects from medications, I decided to educate myself on stimulants. My son and I both take stimulants, We take separate "medication" holidays once a month, we load up on vitamins, minerals and water, he has a therapist come to his school once a week, and we go together every other week to talk about us, his dad, coping skills, and communication between us, (he also gets to play with Legos and we do exercises and activities geared toward kids).

Anyways, now I only cry once a week! And I hope someone reading this will be able to relate to this because just the medications for him were a 2 year long nightmare because of his co-morbid disorders and trauma. I joined this really to get advice, hear messages of hope, similar struggles others have gone through and how they got through it, and to tell people our story and what works or doesn't work for us. We've come far, but I need to keep educating myself because there is so much I still don't understand or am completely ignorant about.
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Old 04-12-17, 07:58 PM
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Re: Single ADD mom w ADHD/ODD/Et Al. 7yr boy

Welcome to the forum!

I'm glad to hear that things are going a lot better now, for both you and your son.

I have to admit that I was happy to hear about your frequent failure to follow through with punishments; I hope that failure to punish continues permanently. Punishment is not a tool, just a weapon.
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Old 04-12-17, 08:37 PM
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Re: Single ADD mom w ADHD/ODD/Et Al. 7yr boy

Sympathies on your loss. My grandkids (adhd and autism) lost their dad
16 months ago, and it's been very hard on all of us.

Sounds like you're doing a lot right. Good on you.
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Old 04-18-17, 02:07 PM
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Re: Single ADD mom w ADHD/ODD/Et Al. 7yr boy

Welcome. Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss! What a terrible thing to go through for you both. I can relate to a lot of your post- I'm also in my 30s and have an 8-year-old with ADHD/ODD- and a lot of the ODD is because I had, until last week, undiagnosed ADHD myself. I've been inconsistent, forgetful, etc, no matter how great my intentions are. I've devised so many "token" systems and all the things they say to do, except I always forget to keep track and follow-through. I've always felt like I know how to be a good mom, but never have felt like I AM a good mom, despite knowing how I need to be and what I need to do to obtain awesome-mom-status. My son is doing much better now that he's on stimulants, and I'm seeing my doctor at the end of the month to hopefully get a prescription as well. It's been a loooooooooooong, uphill climb but at least the puzzle pieces are starting to come together.
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Old 04-18-17, 02:36 PM
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Re: Single ADD mom w ADHD/ODD/Et Al. 7yr boy

I'll echo what DVD said...punishments are no good, especially for a child with adhd.
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