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#1
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Feeling shabby
It's the worst feeling I know. It's worse than suicidal ideation, worse than grief, worse than severe depression, maybe even worse than guilt.
It usually doesn't last long. 5-10min at the max, till I get distracted. I don't know exactly how to explain it. It comes over me very suddenly, in a fraction of a second and usually there is no trigger. It's just this absolute, fundamental feeling that I'm through and through pathetic. Now just me but all my loved ones. Everyone and everything really. I've been getting this feeling every once in a while for as long as I can remember. I was just wondering if anyone can relate. Well, probably not considering that I haven't really explained it. |
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#2
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Re: Feeling shabby
I'm not sure what you mean by shabby, but I'm glad it doesn't last too long!
__________________
-- @s2b |
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13), spunkysmum (09-25-13) |
#3
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Re: Feeling shabby
I'm not sure I've experienced what you have, but I wonder about my brother. Last time we visited him I found him sitting in the car crying and when I asked him why he said it was because he was "no good", a belief he stated more than once during our visit and in text message after we left. It was following what i would consider a normal family squabble with everybody being tired and short-tempered and the car alarm malfunctioning and going off for no reason adding to the stress of those of us who are sound-sensitive.....stressful, yes, but no reason for him to judge himself so harshly.
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Trying to avoid being late by showing up really early is like a man trying to avoid peeing on the right side of the toilet seat by aiming at the floor on the far left. |
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13) |
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#4
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Re: Feeling shabby
Quote:
In our society, we imbibe a sense of ourselves from day 1. Our society is often cruel, demanding, unfair, and critical. I see it as a function of some kind of hierarchical sorting among members of society and groups. The phrase "Birds of a feather flock together" comes to mind. But, this hierarchical sorting is not set in stone, nor is it always correct. The best attitude to have is to believe that you are a good, worthwhile person regardless of what anyone might say.
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“At the ripe old age of 52 I attended my first conference on AD/HD….everyone around me was spilling coffee, losing their hotel key, and getting lost. I was home!” -AD/HD patient (http://lifelistsblog.wordpress.com/2...uotes-on-adhd/) |
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13) |
#5
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Re: Feeling shabby
Hi Fuzzy,
I'm not sure I've experienced exactly what your describing - but I can defintiely relate to a wave of .... horrible emotion.. coming from nowhere very suddenly and kind of overtaking you. Its horrible feeling. Sometimes I think something has triggered it that I haven't noticed, other times it really seems to have come from nowhere (maybe its a thought in my head and then WHAM). Lately it comes over me like a feeling of devestation and total apathy. My energy levels take this nose dive. I turn freezing cold. And the pathetic thing. You couldnt meet a more pathetic person than me at the moment. I have no social life and feel so lonely most of the time. I'm trying. But **** its hard. I do wonder what it must be like for people who don't struggle everyday. I can't remember a time when I didn't. I cannot get my head around what it must be like for people who live these 'off to work' 'now meet friends' 'out for dinner' lives. I know everyone struggles. But some of us.... I don't know. The wave of feeling does pass, when I'm in it I try to remind myself this will pass this will pass. X
__________________
"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot" –Ashleigh Brilliant "In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside me, urging me to do things in different ways" -Dylan Moran "should I abide by the rules until they're changed, or help speed the change by breaking them?" –Ashleigh Brilliant Dx ADHD-C Dyslexia |
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13) |
#6
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Re: Feeling shabby
I get this feeling also. Randomly, out of nowhere. No matter what I'm doing it seems to creep in. Whatever it is I'm doing I just get this disgusting feeling. Like I just fell into a deep hole, with no help to get me up and out. I would LOVE it if I could cry at these times, but no tears come out. Crying helps me tremendously when I'm having a depressive episode. But they don't come during these "shabby" pop up feelings :/
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13), yellowflowers (10-02-13) |
#7
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Re: Feeling shabby
Thanks guys. I'm not sure how to explain it. I think, it's different because it's not exactly related to a memory or a particular trigger. I've had these attacks of feeling shabby from as early as I can remember.
It's different to depression as well. It's just this sudden and absolute feeling of being pathetic and everything/everyone I care about being pathetic too. |
#8
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Re: Feeling shabby
I don't claim to know what's going on in your head, but the description sounds somewhat familiar. I occasionally have bouts of feeling utterly deplorable and an utter disgrace to my family – usually right after I've had an internal rant concerning what losers my parents are. It comes and goes, usually in half an hour to forty minutes, I think. Though my "episodes" are not without a trigger, I think, and don't seem to be quite as bad. Anyway, it sounds terrible. I hope you don't go through it often.
__________________
Don't try to save face. |
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Fuzzy12 (10-02-13) |
#9
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Re: Feeling shabby
Yeh this really describes it. My God its awful isnt it. And the no help bit struck a cord with me, the sadness of it. I feel panicky when it hits me and its like scrambling to think of something to get rid of the feeling/feel better. But there is no one there. The loneliness of it.
__________________
"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot" –Ashleigh Brilliant "In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside me, urging me to do things in different ways" -Dylan Moran "should I abide by the rules until they're changed, or help speed the change by breaking them?" –Ashleigh Brilliant Dx ADHD-C Dyslexia |
#10
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Re: Feeling shabby
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#11
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Re: Feeling shabby
So true....
A Tsunami of Intense feelings of Betrayal, Disappointment, Desperation and extreme Lonliness crash down on me all at once... leaving me nauseous as Fear, Regret & Utter Hopelessess sufficate me. 4ever4 |
#12
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Re: Feeling shabby
2.5 years later: I could be wrong but I think I might have discovered what this feeling is: a sudden drop in dopamine.
I feel something now that is very similar I believe (I can't he sure as I havent felt shabby in a while so it's difficult to compare.) Everytime in breast feeding. A feeling of sudden despair ajd sorrow. It doesn't last long. Just a minute or so but it's intense. I've looked it up and apparently it's a real thing called dysphoric milk ejection reflex. It's not common but happens to some women. I'll spare you the details of what it is but basically there js a momentary suppression or inhibition of dopamine release. I don't feel shabby when this happens but I think the feeling itself separate from the thoughts is similar. If that's the case im.almost annoyed. I don't mind it when breastfeeding now that I know what it is but for years this feeling has made me feel like absolute ****. And now it turns out to be something physical?? How ****** up csn my brain be?? ![]() |
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20thcenturyfox (11-26-16), aeon (11-27-16) |
#13
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Re: Feeling shabby
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