Feeling shabby

[Fuzzy12]

It's the worst feeling I know. It's worse than suicidal ideation, worse than grief, worse than severe depression, maybe even worse than guilt.

It usually doesn't last long. 5-10min at the max, till I get distracted.

I don't know exactly how to explain it. It comes over me very suddenly, in a fraction of a second and usually there is no trigger. It's just this absolute, fundamental feeling that I'm through and through pathetic. Now just me but all my loved ones. Everyone and everything really.

I've been getting this feeling every once in a while for as long as I can remember. I was just wondering if anyone can relate. Well, probably not considering that I haven't really explained it.

[atSWIMtooboreds]

I'm not sure what you mean by shabby, but I'm glad it doesn't last too long!

[spunkysmum]

I'm not sure I've experienced what you have, but I wonder about my brother. Last time we visited him I found him sitting in the car crying and when I asked him why he said it was because he was "no good", a belief he stated more than once during our visit and in text message after we left. It was following what i would consider a normal family squabble with everybody being tired and short-tempered and the car alarm malfunctioning and going off for no reason adding to the stress of those of us who are sound-sensitive.....stressful, yes, but no reason for him to judge himself so harshly.

[MX2012]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

It's the worst feeling I know. It's worse than suicidal ideation, worse than grief, worse than severe depression, maybe even worse than guilt.

It usually doesn't last long. 5-10min at the max, till I get distracted.

I don't know exactly how to explain it. It comes over me very suddenly, in a fraction of a second and usually there is no trigger. It's just this absolute, fundamental feeling that I'm through and through pathetic. Now just me but all my loved ones. Everyone and everything really.

I've been getting this feeling every once in a while for as long as I can remember. I was just wondering if anyone can relate. Well, probably not considering that I haven't really explained it.

Fuzzy -- does this feeling have any familiarity to past events? Do you recall others who might have said negative things about you? I think sometimes our memories cough up past conversations.

In our society, we imbibe a sense of ourselves from day 1. Our society is often cruel, demanding, unfair, and critical.

I see it as a function of some kind of hierarchical sorting among members of society and groups. The phrase "Birds of a feather flock together" comes to mind. But, this hierarchical sorting is not set in stone, nor is it always correct. The best attitude to have is to believe that you are a good, worthwhile person regardless of what anyone might say.

[yellowflowers]

Hi Fuzzy,

I'm not sure I've experienced exactly what your describing - but I can defintiely relate to a wave of .... horrible emotion.. coming from nowhere very suddenly and kind of overtaking you.

Its horrible feeling. Sometimes I think something has triggered it that I haven't noticed, other times it really seems to have come from nowhere (maybe its a thought in my head and then WHAM).

Lately it comes over me like a feeling of devestation and total apathy. My energy levels take this nose dive. I turn freezing cold.

And the pathetic thing. You couldnt meet a more pathetic person than me at the moment. I have no social life and feel so lonely most of the time.

I'm trying. But **** its hard.

I do wonder what it must be like for people who don't struggle everyday. I can't remember a time when I didn't. I cannot get my head around what it must be like for people who live these 'off to work' 'now meet friends' 'out for dinner' lives. I know everyone struggles. But some of us.... I don't know.

The wave of feeling does pass, when I'm in it I try to remind myself this will pass this will pass.

X

[Nibs91]

I get this feeling also. Randomly, out of nowhere. No matter what I'm doing it seems to creep in. Whatever it is I'm doing I just get this disgusting feeling. Like I just fell into a deep hole, with no help to get me up and out. I would LOVE it if I could cry at these times, but no tears come out. Crying helps me tremendously when I'm having a depressive episode. But they don't come during these "shabby" pop up feelings :/

[Fuzzy12]

Thanks guys. I'm not sure how to explain it. I think, it's different because it's not exactly related to a memory or a particular trigger. I've had these attacks of feeling shabby from as early as I can remember.

It's different to depression as well. It's just this sudden and absolute feeling of being pathetic and everything/everyone I care about being pathetic too.

[Baal Moom]

I don't claim to know what's going on in your head, but the description sounds somewhat familiar. I occasionally have bouts of feeling utterly deplorable and an utter disgrace to my family – usually right after I've had an internal rant concerning what losers my parents are. It comes and goes, usually in half an hour to forty minutes, I think. Though my "episodes" are not without a trigger, I think, and don't seem to be quite as bad. Anyway, it sounds terrible. I hope you don't go through it often.

[yellowflowers]

Originally Posted by Nibs91

Like I just fell into a deep hole, with no help to get me up and out. :/

Yeh this really describes it. My God its awful isnt it. And the no help bit struck a cord with me, the sadness of it. I feel panicky when it hits me and its like scrambling to think of something to get rid of the feeling/feel better. But there is no one there. The loneliness of it.

[Nibs91]

Originally Posted by yellowflowers

Yeh this really describes it. My God its awful isnt it. And the no help bit struck a cord with me, the sadness of it. I feel panicky when it hits me and its like scrambling to think of something to get rid of the feeling/feel better. But there is no one there. The loneliness of it.

Yep, that's it. I've become a social recluse these days. I drive to work, school, and occasionally my family's house. Obligatory events become awkward and a long winded panic attack that spirals out of control. The worst is when you are with some friends and this feeling hits and I am rendered into this zombie, duct tape over my mouth, hands tied behind my back, and a dying need to jump off a cliff.

[4ever4]

So true....

A Tsunami of Intense feelings of Betrayal, Disappointment, Desperation and extreme Lonliness crash down on me all at once... leaving me nauseous as Fear, Regret & Utter Hopelessess sufficate me.

4ever4

[Fuzzy12]

2.5 years later: I could be wrong but I think I might have discovered what this feeling is: a sudden drop in dopamine.

I feel something now that is very similar I believe (I can't he sure as I havent felt shabby in a while so it's difficult to compare.) Everytime in breast feeding. A feeling of sudden despair ajd sorrow. It doesn't last long. Just a minute or so but it's intense. I've looked it up and apparently it's a real thing called dysphoric milk ejection reflex. It's not common but happens to some women. I'll spare you the details of what it is but basically there js a momentary suppression or inhibition of dopamine release.

I don't feel shabby when this happens but I think the feeling itself separate from the thoughts is similar.

If that's the case im.almost annoyed. I don't mind it when breastfeeding now that I know what it is but for years this feeling has made me feel like absolute ****. And now it turns out to be something physical?? How ****** up csn my brain be??

[weswes]

Originally Posted by Fuzzy12

2.5 years later: I could be wrong but I think I might have discovered what this feeling is: a sudden drop in dopamine.

I feel something now that is very similar I believe (I can't he sure as I havent felt shabby in a while so it's difficult to compare.) Everytime in breast feeding. A feeling of sudden despair ajd sorrow. It doesn't last long. Just a minute or so but it's intense. I've looked it up and apparently it's a real thing called dysphoric milk ejection reflex. It's not common but happens to some women. I'll spare you the details of what it is but basically there js a momentary suppression or inhibition of dopamine release.

I don't feel shabby when this happens but I think the feeling itself separate from the thoughts is similar.

If that's the case im.almost annoyed. I don't mind it when breastfeeding now that I know what it is but for years this feeling has made me feel like absolute ****. And now it turns out to be something physical?? How ****** up csn my brain be??

i was going to post this actually. i feel this way as soon as my coffee wears off or aderrall wears off. horrible feeling.