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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #16  
Old 09-01-08, 07:00 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Ya know my house isn't too bad. I have 4 young kids and I would expect it to be totally trashed but it's not. It is pretty clean, I think. This may be because I want everythign to have a place and I don't like clutter (OCD... anyone, lol). However the moment my husband does start to complain I always retort that I am not a submissive wife and if he wants something cleaned to his liking then he can do it himself.

I have been on a few wife strikes where I don't do anything just to prove a point on this isue. He got the hint but needs a few reminders every now and then. I also feel that I don't need to try to be someone I am not to try and please others. When I was in High school my rooms was beyond a Sh*t stye! I don't know what made me do a 180... I think it was me buying a lot of candles and a fear of having the house burn down.
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  #17  
Old 09-01-08, 08:20 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

im not sure if this has been said yet or not .. but how about making yourself a chore list. i made one for my son which we keep on our fridge. it's quite large - poster size - and we use magnets (craft) everytime he completes a chore. I've broken it down to 5 days/week - weekends are relax days but I still expect him to do some of the things but not all.

Designate a specific time to do a specific chore per day and in a specific sequence. Over the weekends you can designate one of the larger chores like laundry, gathering garbage from various rooms, etc. It helps keep our place more orderly.

I hate washing dishes! That's usually what drags me down. My dishwasher doesn't work right now so I probably wash them once a week LOL but hey .. the rest of the house is orderly enough.
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  #18  
Old 09-02-08, 09:45 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

^ I do that too! Well, mine is not a giant poster, lol. I found cartoon charaters that my kids like and I made a chore list with the characters. I then post 3 chores for each of them to do on their door. If they don't do it then they don't go outside watch tv or do anything else. I do help them too, especially my 3yr old. Whenever he wopes the tables he smears more than anything but I am getting him into a routine so that he will know what to do as he gets older. I hate folding clothes so all my kids know how to do that except for Bradley (3yr). That I do with him too.
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Old 09-06-08, 04:54 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I do have the solution.
The week shall now consist of 10 days. Then I can work my three 12-hr shifts, have enough "recovery" days when I don't have to meet real-life performance expectations, and have a couple days in there where I can actually perform house-work wise.
Ahhh, that's better. I feel so much more competent.
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  #20  
Old 09-06-08, 05:10 PM
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Thumbs up Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Quote:
Originally Posted by INaBOX View Post
im not sure if this has been said yet or not .. but how about making yourself a chore list. i made one for my son which we keep on our fridge. it's quite large - poster size - and we use magnets (craft) everytime he completes a chore. I've broken it down to 5 days/week - weekends are relax days but I still expect him to do some of the things but not all.

Designate a specific time to do a specific chore per day and in a specific sequence. Over the weekends you can designate one of the larger chores like laundry, gathering garbage from various rooms, etc. It helps keep our place more orderly.

I hate washing dishes! That's usually what drags me down. My dishwasher doesn't work right now so I probably wash them once a week LOL but hey .. the rest of the house is orderly enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by piglet View Post
I do have the solution.
The week shall now consist of 10 days. Then I can work my three 12-hr shifts, have enough "recovery" days when I don't have to meet real-life performance expectations, and have a couple days in there where I can actually perform house-work wise.
Ahhh, that's better. I feel so much more competent.
Wow, good ideas, both of you! I hate washing dishes, too! I'll only wash what I need at the moment... it's awful! I like that idea of a 10-day week... for me that would work. But, still, I have to make myself (not as hard, now) do my homework first (for college courses), or they won't get done. Good thing I only have two courses this semester!!

Now to get my chart done.... tomorrow...??? I could start on it anyway... my college assignments are done... who knows...?? I'll try (if I remember).
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  #21  
Old 09-09-08, 05:19 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

When I lived by myself, I decided that I was an adult dammit and I was going to live how I was comfortable. I spent my whole childhood being forced to live to other people's standards and now I'm done. My place is going to be messy. I might pick up for some company I know is coming, but if you drop by unannounced, whatever. This is who I am, this is how I live, this is my right as a self-sufficient adult.

Besides, if I were a man, it would be much more acceptable that I a messy and disorganized. People would be like, "Oh he's such a bachelor, how cute. He needs a wife." Do you know what, I NEED A WIFE. My father worked all day and my mother kept house. He never had to clean, buy groceries, iron, or remember birthdays. My mom took care of it all. It's unreasonable to expect anyone to do it all.

Now I live with my boyfriend who is super-organized. He does most of the housework, because he cares and I don't. He leaves my things in little piles around the apartment. Someday he might go crazy and leave me, but for 5 years it's been working. He's a fine wife.
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  #22  
Old 09-09-08, 05:32 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

WOW I love threads like these.

The first date I went on with my husband I brought him right up to my apartment when it was at its trashiest, most disgusting state. I had laundry baskets full of letters and mail I hadn't opened, boxes unpacked in the dining room from when I had moved, six months before -- wow, it was a masterpiece of clutter. Don't ask me what prompted me to do that, because usually it takes -- well, never -- for me to bring people over. I guess I had just decided that I was going to let it all hang out and if he didn't like it, he could get on, gizzard.

Now whenever he tries to frazzle my nerves with the cleanliness talk, I retort, "IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, DUDE!"

It's not as bad as it used to be. I sort of know where everything is and there's usually clean dishes, or at least paper plates, to use. I work full time as a teacher of children with emotional disturbances, I am raising a toddler, dealing with ADD and a mood disorder, so if everyone has clean, ironed clothes to wear, food in their stomachs, and a clean bed to sleep in -- everything else is negotiable.

Kuleita, you are my hero, I have a goal in life for sure now -- I will get to a place financially where I can have someone come over to clean my house at least once a week (twice, preferably -- heck, I'm gonna go for it, how about a live-in maid It makes me happy to my core just thinking about it . . . ahhhh.

Iamnotevil -- just a thought, instead of hiding your dirty laundry -- how about asking your wife if you can do the laundry, ironing, etc. from now on? She might be grateful.

BTW, most ADD women wouldn't mind meeting a "minimum standard" of cleanliness. It's just that we have this durn neurobiological miswiring that gets in the way. Dang it.
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  #23  
Old 09-30-08, 06:01 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

You all made me cry with relief.

I'm a single Mom, and I work 45-60 hours a week. My daughter who is now 21 with Autism stays at home and unless someone directs her to do something will do nothing but watch tv or play on the computer. I'm exhasted when I get home and I have to make dinner, do my bills. But what I really need is to unwind my brain. I find myself addicted to escaping or distraction. TV, Computer Games, a book.. I just can't stand being home. And its a mess. The way I am wired, is that everything has a place. So I put it back there when I am done with something. My daughter hasn't grasped this. She is PDD/nos. Due to my daughters trash hounding and distruction of her stuff, I've had to pay thousands to old landlords due to the state of the apartment. But I have no time to do all this cleaning. Sometimes I can get her to do a load of dishes or start dinner. If only I had more energy at home. Sigh.
I'm on ritalin and on the weekend I do the major jobs like Grocery shopping, laundry (we have to go to a laundry mat), etc. I also clean what I can. But the weekend is so short.
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  #24  
Old 10-18-13, 11:46 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

omg my house is a disaster also. I have sneakers in every room, paper piles everywhere, dishes in the sink, counters covered with stuff, kitchen table has papers and my work shirts on it. I clean when I can't stand it anymore, clothes get washed when I run out of everything.
I finally got everything washed and dried, now I have to fold and put away. 3 laundry baskets. I still have sheets and blankets in the dryer that I did 2 days ago. I finally finished the dishes today from a few weeks ago did some yesterday and finished today.
I wish I could get myself motivated to clean more but it is hard for me. I know it has to be done but I do other things instead. Then I feel ashamed, angry, and guilty because I didn't get it done again. I am embarrassed to have people over because of the mess. I only have one friend who comes over. She says she doesn't care if it is a mess. She even wants to help me clean. I have told her no because it is my mess, but she said she would help me and we could do it together. She understands because her mom is a hoarder. It makes me feel guilty to have a friend come visit and wind up cleaning my kitchen.
I live by myself and my mom keeps telling me it is a disaster area and that I will wind up getting evicted from my Co-op. I don't think they can because I bought it.
She embarrasses me by telling everyone my house is a mess and they wouldn't want to go there.
That's the story of my messy house.
Sorry I have no advice.
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Old 10-18-13, 11:51 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

wooooh sorry I didn't realize this thread was 5 years old.

Last edited by jwtf64; 10-18-13 at 11:52 PM.. Reason: took my own quote out.
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Old 10-23-13, 11:37 PM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Well, now that the thread has been resurrected, we might as well start posting in it again!

Anyway, my home is super-messy too. My ex dumped me over my crappy house cleaning abilities, and it was a weight off my shoulders. I have a recently diagnosed ADHD friend who mentioned being embarrassed about her own home, so I showed her pictures of mine to make her feel better. I live alone except for one small caged pet, so I can't blame the creation of mess on anyone else.
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Old 10-24-13, 02:19 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post
Well, now that the thread has been resurrected, we might as well start posting in it again!

Anyway, my home is super-messy too. My ex dumped me over my crappy house cleaning abilities, and it was a weight off my shoulders. I have a recently diagnosed ADHD friend who mentioned being embarrassed about her own home, so I showed her pictures of mine to make her feel better. I live alone except for one small caged pet, so I can't blame the creation of mess on anyone else.
I also have pets (4 cats) and me. So like you, there is only me to blame. My messiness has caused a lot of problems in previous relationships. I think that is why I have never gotten married. Besides I like the freedom of being single, do what I want when I want and don't have to worry about being neat or cleaning every day.
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Old 10-24-13, 07:20 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

I can't even clean up after myself, I don't know how to cook or iron and I'm 1000% sure I could never do these things for TWO or more people. Thus I'm useless as a wife, which is one of the (many) reasons I doubt I'll ever marry. As someone previously said, I could use a wife myself .
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Old 10-24-13, 07:53 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

Im sure if if someone showed you how and had you do it a few times corina , you could n would learn how to do it
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Old 10-24-13, 10:00 AM
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Re: SINGLE ADHD WORKING WOMEN: holy crap is your house ever clean??? HELP

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Im sure if if someone showed you how and had you do it a few times corina , you could n would learn how to do it
I could do only it wouldn't involve heat and fire, because I'm pretty scared of those things. And I find ironing the most useless activity ever invented in the western world. But I would really like to learn how to cook though, especially pasta and pancakes .
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