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Careers/Job Impact This forum is for adults to discuss how AD/HD affects work and career.

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  #16  
Old 06-03-13, 01:27 AM
chad-tompkins chad-tompkins is offline
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

I just found this forum on google I'm in the same boat some of what you've guys have said has lifted me up a little but I just want to succeed at this job so bad I have had add and hdha sfor a long time I have been on riddlen and other drugs befor I stop taking them after I got out of high school I'm starting to think I need to start taking them again, I just can't stay focused, and I miss details and then the next day get yelled at about it its so frustrating I just want to be the star employe at my old jobs I was just that but this new job I have is so much better I can't mess this up I will never get the opportunity to have this kind of a job again. So the last time I took my meds was 10 years ago and it was ridalin what new ones are out there that can help me I don't have insurance yet I will hopefully if I can keep this job for 5 more days what's working for other people on here let me know I need help and thanks for listening to me rant about nothing
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  #17  
Old 06-04-13, 12:44 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hjajck View Post
Is your supervisor aware of your diagnosis? From what I've read, a lot of people say NOT to say anything. If you fear being fired, I would mention it. But, that's just one opinion from a very inexperienced, newly diagnosed person.
I would agree with this because I was diagnosed a couple of months ago at 32 and feared I was going to lose my job that I had not been at for a full year. I thought about telling my employer so he would understand that I was getting treatment and was working on climbing out of the paperwork that needed to be filed. I didn't tell them and I was fired a couple of weeks ago. By the time you are sitting in the chair with a severance check it is too late.
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  #18  
Old 06-04-13, 01:42 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Hi Chad. Welcome. I hope this place helps you.

There are not really any new medications better than the ones that were around 10 years ago. Ritalin and Adderall are still used the most, because they work. There is also Dexedrine, which works. There are a couple of new names, but they are really just the same stuff in new formats.

Concerta - is a long-acting capsule of Ritalin.
Vyvanse - is Dexedrine that's been fixed so addicts can't snort it.

I don't know if there was Strattera ten years ago. It's not a stimulant like all the others are. It works well for some people, but most agree it isn't as good as the other drugs. It's given to people who have a bad reaction to stimulants, and because it's non-addictive it's also given to people who are former addicts.

Good luck to you in keeping your good job. I hope it works out well.
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  #19  
Old 06-18-13, 10:18 AM
Jeezlueez Jeezlueez is offline
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Wow. I have been looking to see if anyone else understands what I'm going through. It seems like I could have written that post. I have never joined anything like this before. Hoping I can talk to people who can relate.
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  #20  
Old 06-19-13, 12:24 PM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Welcome chad and jeez!!! You will find a goldmine of help and hope here!!!
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  #21  
Old 06-19-13, 12:54 PM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Recently diagnosed (Feb 2013) and now looking back - I can see that now I have an explanation for not being able to hold a job.

The common thread seems to be - I'm slow.

Not slow-minded. Just not very productive. Takes me longer than most people to get my work done.

You are not alone.


As far as advice - I have none.
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  #22  
Old 06-19-13, 03:39 PM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Making mistakes doesn't mean you suck, having mental illness doesn't mean that you suck at doing a job
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  #23  
Old 06-20-13, 12:12 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diatribe View Post
I am terrified that I will be, once again, terminated!
Not me -- I've been terminated and cannot find a job.

Quote:
How will I ever be successful at any job whenI can't go one week without a mistake?...I am the lowest on the totem pole and the oldest (and most educated) in my group but I feel like I will never catch up because I can't make my brain work in the magically ways others can.
I discuss complex issues intelligently and have a strong analytic background. I'm one of the most educated in my social group.

I am also the most unemployed.

I cannot even go to alumni events any more. When asked what I do, I responded "in transition" a sickening euphemism.

Quote:
I just don't know what more to do. Can anyone relate?
Relate? I'm living it. I cannot work as a bank teller or waiter. I cannot fix a car, drive a nail nor cut the grass.

I'm hoping to hear back from the SAT tutoring company.
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  #24  
Old 06-20-13, 01:02 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

I have often said that if I had to start in an entry level position in my field that I would never make it.

You might look for a job that requires you to define the work within a set of parameters. This is what I did and it worked out - as in I've been in the field for 25 year and self employed for seven of those years.

My work is highly detail oriented but there are checklists available from the government. And no one wants to review my work other than government agencies who use the same checklists I use. Management might question me when I make a recommendation, but I can always find the right or close enough answer. If not, we can call the government agency for a determination.

That might sound scary to a person with ADHD, but it's worked pretty well for me. Why? Because there are mostly black and white answers and everything involved a checklist. If you come across something strange, you add it to the checklist.
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  #25  
Old 06-14-14, 08:47 AM
lingenberry lingenberry is offline
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

I know its a little old but this post describes me perfectly right now. I'm not diagnosed due to incompetent doctors that only want to talk. I have taken Adderall given to me from a friend. Its too much. After 2 days it wiped me out and I couldn't think at all....sit at my desk and stare at my screen, and those were very low doses...2.5 mgs. Talk is cheap when your f'ing flipping out everyday just trying to stay afloat. I've fought this since I was a kid and was brought up to just "deal with it".....until now. It took me 4 years to get an AAS because I cant test or study to save my life. I have a lot of knowledge but accessing it properly does not work. Memory is aweful, mistakes galore, etc. You want a list, Sure, I've got thousands of them! I have contemplated getting an HVAC certification because mechanical things seem to come easy to me. I currently do low end IT support and spreadsheet manipulation after a re-org(I used to administer servers) and the upper Admins barely make eye contact with me when I go out of my way to say hi....they know. But to deal with this crap right now has me more depressed than I have ever been. I don't cry, ever, and I have for the past month on a daily basis. I'm not looking for sympathy, just direction. I feel for all of you with this affliction, it sucks from head to toe. I have children that watch me fail on a daily basis. I do self medicate just to get sleep. I've had doctors give me trazadone and I've tried over the counter meds....all of which make me incredibly stupid, so I have to either fight the yawning or like I said, self medicate before bed. Its a vicious cycle where nothing helps. I hope this post can shed some light or give me direction because I'm completely lost. I so badly want to quit my job right now. My resume is aweful too. I can add a lot of things to it but its a case of "I have a lot of knowledge, but nothing concrete".
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  #26  
Old 06-14-14, 06:31 PM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Lingenberry, welcome to the forum. This is a good place to come to for support, it has helped me a lot in understanding this condition.

I was raised with the "just deal with it" mentality, too, and with a "and don't ask for any help from me" thrown in for good measure. This is the first time I've explored the career/jobs threads, and it is an eye opener.

I've been lucky that I have a career in a field that plays well to my strengths, and has a lot of variety to boot. Yet I still make mistakes, go down rabbit holes that waste time, work slow at times, have difficulty staying focused for 8 hours/5 days a week. In short, I never feel secure and worry that I wouldn't be able to get another job this good if I should lose it.

I keep showing up, though, and trying my best.
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Old 06-15-14, 08:48 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

You hit the nail on the head. It takes me three times as long as the average person to do and learn things. I am a repetition person. I learn by doing.
I feel lost in a world of learn it right the first time.

"Not slow-minded. Just not very productive. Takes me longer than most people to get my work done."
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  #28  
Old 07-14-14, 01:47 AM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

Diatribe - I am completely same as you ! Small mistakes, make us all look like idiots. How could someone who is so bright, energetic, charming make such idiotic mistake? All my bosses think the same question.

It's terrible, but only way to survive is by using ALL the other positive traits we have. I wished there was a job that didn't have to deal with details (acting? news reporter? aerobic instructor ?)
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Old 07-16-14, 06:28 PM
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Re: I Suck At My Job!! Feeling Completely Incompetent!

This is a long post. I've read this thread a couple times now and it is because I want to find some comfort in knowing that at least someone else out there feels like I do. I don't know if I have ADD or ADHD or any of those types of conditions but I know that I hate myself because I suck at my job. I'm a "software developer" and every day that I go to work I carry this immense weight because I can't reconcile the fact that I do not come close to meeting expectations. I have worked at this job for a few years now and every day is the same struggle to try to find a way to complete a task and avoid attention. I got fired from my last programming job because I was simply incompetent. When I think back to some of my boss' reactions to my work I distinctly remember one instance of him saying "this is ****, it's ****!". Sure, that's probably the thought pattern of a depressed person. I don't think this company will fire me but some part of me wants that... at least then I wouldn't have to think about it all the time. My peers can see my incompetence and I avoid everyone at work as much as I can. I've been getting more and more depressed but I just cannot see a solution. I know some have suggested that I find something I excel at but the truth remains that I have been a "programmer" all my life (since age 12 at least) and if I can't comprehend the fundamentals of object-oriented programming at 35 years of age then I never will. I remember as a kid before the internet I would get stuck on a problem in BASIC (a simple programming language) and work and work and work at it and many times just never solve the problem. This cycle of "spinning my wheels" on problems continues to this day. Although our software has a steep learning curve it is devastating to see someone get hired at our company and within 6 months they are exceedingly more efficient at completing tasks then I am. It is very exhausting when I struggle just to get by. To put that much effort into creating sub-par work... it does something to me that I know is making me sick. My identity is wrapped up in my career too. I attach so much of who I am to this job and career that if I lost this job not only would I lose many other things in my life (my girlfriend, my apartment, my car, etc), I would lose my dignity and sense of self-worth, although there's not much left to lose in that regard. I frustrate my manager because, like most others on this thread, I cannot remember details. example: I will work in the wrong code branch for a day or two after I read his email that we are to work in branch A not B. He's had to remind to to do things a certain way after he has said it a couple times before... it doesn't matter who you are: that is aggravating. A couple months ago we met for a routine one-on-one and he said "I have bad news. Your merit increase didn't get approved." Nearly everyone got an increase except me. My relationship with my girlfriend suffers because I am depressed so often now. I cannot bring myself to tell her why I'm depressed so she just remains confused and feels helpless. She still asks me why. I think she suspects that it's related to work but because she is an amazing person she lets it be. I am on an antidepressant but I don't feel any different. There may be one out there that is suited for me but I'm on my third one in three months and there's no noticeable difference. Even if I were to tackle my depression the fact still remains that I suck at my job. I want to thank everyone on this thread for posting their thoughts and stories.
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