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Careers/Job Impact This forum is for adults to discuss how AD/HD affects work and career.

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  #76  
Old 04-22-15, 10:07 AM
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Re: Situation

Sometimes a job, no matter how menial it may be can help to boost confidence and lift you out from the eternal gaze of your parents.

I really feel for you and do hope you can rise from all of this.
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  #77  
Old 04-22-15, 04:56 PM
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Re: Situation

Appreciate that and have put all my efforts into sorting that. However, the wrong situation (like last time) could cause even more problems.
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  #78  
Old 04-23-15, 01:53 PM
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Re: Situation

Yeh I'm a mess up, I know.
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  #79  
Old 04-23-15, 06:42 PM
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Re: Situation

Spoke to my mum and dad just and explained that if I took a job which was something other than what iv been looking to do, that I would then give them the money after taking what I needed.

Don't know if this was some stupid sympathy thing talking, or if I was looking for assurance or what, I don't know. All I know now is I'm numb, and feel like everything iv learned about myself and belief in myself is numb also. My dad didn't even listen that much, just turned his TV show back on, my mum just said I wasn't saying what I wanted to say. Maybe she's right (pretty close to being broke), and can sense I'm just talking garbage, or maybe I was just saying that I cared and thought about them in some weird way I don't know.

I'm falling apart and hate this defeatist crap.
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  #80  
Old 04-23-15, 06:46 PM
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Re: Situation

What's crazy also is I don't even feel upset, or fear or anything, just numb.
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  #81  
Old 04-24-15, 07:19 PM
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Re: Situation

Read through a lot of my posts on here, becoming a bit of a pity party, might stay off for a while and get headspace.
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  #82  
Old 05-03-15, 06:52 PM
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Re: Situation

I'm broke. The banking app I have (and avoid checking) actually shows I'm overdrawn (might as well start admitting this).

I left a job I hated banking on myself to sort things out in my life, and this hasn't happened. Maybe it was never going to happen, my track record is awful throughout life, iv only done what I had to do, even now I have no energy to sort it, I'm just burned out. My head is a constant analysis paralysis, I go from numb to down back to numb, and haven't even got it in me to be upset, I'm just dead to it.

I don't regret making the change, something had to happen one way or another, but this is where I am at. No idea no clue. And probably a really big declaration to my mum and dad who nothing about this, the money, or anything.
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  #83  
Old 05-06-15, 02:49 PM
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Re: Situation

After all of this, I actually had a productive day!

Phoned a helpline that I had phoned before regarding money manhpagement, who cleared a lot of things with me (on the phone for over three hours), then phoned the bank and credit card company to sort out a reduction for a couple of months, then sorted out my phone bil (paid and reduced).

Why does it take DESPERATION before anything moves, it's always been this way, at school can remember always doing big assignments the night before, even a load of coursework in college. My work experience was meant to be sorted months before in school, yet I was asking about the weekend before. It ain't through laziness as I'm always thinking, but the action only comes when it has to, and then is dominating.

In the past can remember having big arguments with my mum, and then going to work or wherever and being focused as hell, the same with supervisors. Once walked out of where I walked after a disagreement and had jobs lined up all over the place, went back after a couple of weeks but in that time was focused heavily. It's like all the perspective becomes clear. Not good to forever live angry or intense though.
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  #84  
Old 05-06-15, 09:24 PM
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Re: Situation

I'm glad you had a productive, and it sound like positive, day. I've been reading your posts, but wasn't sure what to say. I've definitely been where you are, so I was trying to think of what I would have wanted someone to say to me, but couldn't think of anything.

But it sounds like getting financial things sorted is definitely a good step, and probably will be a load off your mind.

I can relate to the feeling that desperation is needed to get things moving most of the time. I think there are two related reasons for that. First, it's usually about something that matters, so to me it can seem overwhelming to know where to start or to have to make a definite choice that, once made, will be hard or impossible to change. That leads to things getting really built up in my mind. And so it's just a vicious cycle.

But like when you say you get focused when angry or during intense times, I think then the whole fight or flight mode takes over and you end up doing things more out of instinct. It's kind of what people describe as being "in the zone" - your mind isn't getting in the way of itself anymore.

It would be nice to be able to train yourself to get in that zone when you choose, but I don't know how.

Anyway, just my two cents. I'm glad you had a good day, and I hope they continue for you!
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  #85  
Old 05-07-15, 09:46 PM
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Re: Situation

Thanks
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  #86  
Old 05-08-15, 10:09 AM
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Re: Situation

I always found that state frustrating; where I knew what I needed to do, but it took intense frustration/anger/desperation to cause me to act.

In my case depression was a big part of it. Take a look at this page:

Pet Scan of Depression - Mayo Clinic

It's the same person during depression and after their recovery. The brain on the left is during depression; the brighter the spots, the more activity is going on.

Looking at that picture, is it any wonder that it takes so much more mental effort to act? Is it surprising that we have a harder time focussing? It also speaks to why intense emotion can spur us into action.

Our experience is more than just biology, but the physical can have an impact on the way we function.

I'm glad you got your financial situation sorted out for the moment. Now it's about figuring out your next steps. Since it sounds like it's exceedingly difficult to act on your own, it might be time to call in additional support (that's not your parents) to help you through this. One starting point might be to look at some depression forums and see if their experiences line up to yours. You're not alone here, as I'm sure a large number of us have been in a similar situation to yours, but I feel the more resources and support you get at this point, the better!

Keep fighting the good fight, and hold onto the hope that things will get better! And if you can't seem to find hope yourself, I'm sure we'll be able to hold onto hope for you in the meantime.
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  #87  
Old 05-11-15, 05:51 PM
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Re: Situation

Thanks people.

Tomorrow I have to go to a JobCentre (it isn't for Jobs), to have an interview to get benefits/Welfare, mainly to just support me financially right now. I hate this, and to be honest want nothing to do with it at all, obviously intended (I know) to have things sorted by now.

The question they are bound to be asking is "what kind of work are you looking for?", I haven't had the answer to that since I was a kid! On the other hand though, without mentioning this (and I'm not going to), there could be work out there that's crazy unsuitable, and don't want forcing into that at all.

The part that kills me, and I really don't want this to come across as arrogant, is I'm BETTER than this, and have always felt that. By that I mean I have good knowledge and can create (an ADHD strength), but have never been able to get it together, things don't challenge or stimulate. I should be able to sort this out.
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  #88  
Old 05-12-15, 04:43 AM
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Re: Situation

Its just a tick the box thing.... they have to ask the question, what you say is irrelevant..... same with many of the other questions.

Concentrate on the "kind of" bit..... you don't have to say what job...

just say ... a job that plays to my strengths, stimulating, varied, energetic, outdoors..... whatever

Trouble with benefits is they are looking to minimise welfare, so there's a significant chance you'll end up in a job that's not for you....

however the objective is to survive it in order to move to a job that is for you. The most significant part is the getting out the door every morning and going to the job....and developing the personal skills to handle the tough boring interpersonally difficult things that come with any job.

The job you get isn't you're job for the rest of time.... it's just your job until you find another one.... shifting jobs every couple of months is fine....
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  #89  
Old 05-16-15, 06:39 PM
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Re: Situation

Went and did it, not a great feeling, the horrible thing now is because there is no money I'm falling into a routine of nothing, trying to keep active but a lot of my big world ideas are now in a small world atm.
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  #90  
Old 05-16-15, 06:59 PM
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Re: Situation

Keep on it Pola!
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