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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

View Poll Results: which is worse? Emotional abuse, physical abuse or are they equally as bad?
emotional abuse 17 65.38%
physical abuse 1 3.85%
they are equally as bad 7 26.92%
Abuse is great. I'm a professional. 1 3.85%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

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  #16  
Old 08-24-13, 08:57 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
I voted physical. I think physical abuse leads to emotional issues. I suppose emotional abuse could lead to physical issues, such as cutting behavior.
Emotions are physical as well. (7 primary emotional systems) (Autonomic Nervous System)

Suboptimal emotional stress can interfere with brain/body development,

and optimal emotional stress can promote brain/body development.

Chronic abuse/suboptimal emotional stress seems to more mentally damaging than acute abuse/suboptimal emotional stress.

Because the brain/body has less chance to emotionally "repair".

If I understand correctly "emotional repair" occurs in a supportive relationship between two people.

(in layman, please leave room for error)





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Last edited by mildadhd; 08-24-13 at 09:26 PM..
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  #17  
Old 08-24-13, 09:34 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

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Originally Posted by ana futura View Post
That's a very good point. I was not able to understand this concept until recently, when I started doing exercises designed to help one link body sensations to emotional trauma.
Thanks Ana Futura,

I'm interested in learning the more about the links between body sensations and emotional trauma you learned about, (if it is not to personal).




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  #18  
Old 08-25-13, 05:28 AM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

NOTE FROM SARAH; EDIT TO THREAD START (but i don't want to edit the original post itself as that'd delete all of your appreciation/thanks of her post...so putting here for now, at least, so she can see how many people appreciate the topic)


she would like it noted that she "meant to include that "worse" is subjective and limited to my experience."

she's unable to post for herself as otherwise occupied...but texted and so here you go. x
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  #19  
Old 08-25-13, 10:10 AM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

From what I have seen and experienced.

Physical abuse leaves a cloud... it's effects get largely repressed by those who are subjected to it. Much harder to resolve. Ever try to earn the trust of an animal who has been mistreated. Often, it has a big effect with our closest relationships, intimacy and closeness.

Emotional abuse I feel takes hold in day to day behaviours more so. So, it can really stunt our expression and interaction.

They both suck. But I voted for emotional because I feel it has a greater effect on a broader area of our lives.
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  #20  
Old 08-25-13, 02:55 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Hmm im suprised mctavish hasnt chimed in yet, well while he isnt here ill continue to play armchair psychologist.
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  #21  
Old 08-25-13, 07:42 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

SarahSweets, don't know if you have revealed your background before but I suspected something like this.

Don't know if you ever heard of Trudy Chase, author of "When Rabbit Howls." Anyway, in my 20s for some reason I collected books on child abuse. I was struck by how resilient the children were and how they somehow managed to make a life for themselves.

Any abuse I suffered was minimal compared to their stories, but I learned a lot from their stories.

The mind can be flexible if you work at it.

One thing I learned was what was called "reparenting." In essence, you have to become the parent you needed. You have to go back in you mind and speak to the young child, young girl, young woman and coach her, love her, hug her, talk to her in loving terms, build up her esteem, let her play, let her laugh, tell her silly jokes, read to her, put a warm blanket around her, snuggle with her, let her know with you she is safe.

You need to be your best friend. Explore your joy. Confront your pain. Let the pain pass through you, that is a difficult concept and it is hard for me to describe but often we are afraid to confront our painful memories but once we have the mental strength and confidence to confront those memories, we can let our bodies release those painful memories until they are dulled.

One reason I say these things, is often we spend alot of energy focusing on the negative as a form of self-defense and fail to recognize many of our other wonderful qualities.

And like you, often I silently say to myself when confronted by someone who feels that they can tell me what I am, who I am or what I can or can not do, "F... You" and I go ahead and do what I planned anyway.

The bullies of the world just want to smash people down to reduce what they perceive as competition when in reality they are ignorant cowards.

But as you noted, emotional abuse scars are harder to heal but not impossible.

Good luck, beautiful lady, m
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  #22  
Old 08-25-13, 10:38 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Have been emotionally abused as a child and growing up so that's all I know
It is VERY EXTREMELY BAD!
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  #23  
Old 08-25-13, 11:06 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

I think they are equal ... I was with an emotionally abusive guy for 5 years ....I still get frightened when I see a car that looks like his,when my phone rings .... It was the fear of violence that was just as scary as the emotional abuse
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  #24  
Old 02-19-17, 05:54 AM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I have no problem telling people to f**k off
That isn't something unique about yourself, that's just the typical NJ way of saying "no thank you".
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  #25  
Old 02-19-17, 06:28 AM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Depends on the extent of either physical or emotional abuse, being emotionally abused to the point of suicide is obviously a lot worse than getting slapped around whereas getting beaten into a coma is obviously worse than being the target of workplace/school banter.
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  #26  
Old 02-19-17, 06:36 AM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Physical injuries generally heal but emotional scars take a lot longer and sometimes never do heal.
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  #27  
Old 02-19-17, 02:48 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

Pain is pain.
It cannot be compared to other pain.
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Old 02-19-17, 05:15 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

I voted Emotional, because while physical abuse is bad, emotional abuse can be worse and really leave you traumatized. I went thru so much teasing, bullying, and other crap from kids growing up, as well as emotional abuse and manipulation from my mom (and my dad to an extent), that it caused me to develop Avoidant Personality Disorder, a social anxiety disorder. Having ADHD and being uncoordinated also contributed to it.

Additionally, my mom has continued to be verbally and emotionally abusive towards me in varying degrees, and the fact that she's now 87 and in need of my help (I may become mom's health proxy soon) means I have to pray about her daily.
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Old 02-19-17, 08:43 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

I can still remember exact instances where I was emotionally abused, but I was way to young to remember the physical abuse that came from my father when I was a toddler. However, I think it has haunted me all these years, and getting through all the emotions that the events at the time caused but I was too young to express was very painful. So for me the lifelong consequences of emotional abuse has been worse than any physical abuse I can remember.

Both Are NOt good! Apples and Oranges however.
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Old 02-19-17, 09:07 PM
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Re: The scars from physical and emotional abuse-which are worse?

I would have said emotional abuse, but all these years later the scars from that have largely faded, yet I'm still blind in one eye, and no amount of time is going to fix that.


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