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Old 07-11-17, 07:09 AM
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Please be careful with Benzos.

This is long so Im sorry.

I know benzos have their place in mental health treatment so I dont intend on trashing them. I had my own issues with them and walked the addiction line myself. They are not for me, but I know plenty of people who can take them responsibly- and plenty who can not and should not.
If you have addiction issues with drugs or alcohol please be wary.
Because of my involvement with 12 step programs I was asked by a friend to help with her daughter. Her daughter has been coming to meetings and some days she is lucid and doing well and some days shes been slurring her words, acting dopey and falling asleep/out of her chair. I said to the mother about 2 months ago that this reminded me of benzo abuse and I so identify.
The daughter is an alcoholic primarily but she hasnt been honest so no one really knows if she has a drug or pill issue but obviously she does now.
She has been attending a shady day program outpatient where she is supposed to be in groups and learning coping skills but especially mondays she comes home all f**ked up. She gets combative after awhile almost like a mean drunk. That doesnt happen to everyone but in my experience when the benzo builds up in your system and is abused you go beyond the point of being dopey and falling asleep and have a major mental change. The mom and I are both in 12 step recovery and I am a very good no BS advocate and have helped other people get honest and into treatment. She asked me to help with an intervention of sorts. To be fair the daughter isnt the brightest bulb and I dont know if its damage from abuse, being high or if she has something else going on.

The day program is bull sh*t. She always comes home with her hair done and she does it in program. No one has seen any progress and she has been there 6 weeks.

Anyway. Her mom was on the phone with different places trying to see what options there are and because she was already under the influence the daughter was more willing to bring out her pills. She had 4 different scripts for seroquel at different doses with different MG, She had an unmarked bottle with trazodone(I looked the pills up) she had celexa and lexapro, lithium (1200 mg a day!), she had vistaril. And low and behold she had klonopin 15 pills " take 1 as needed " and obviously she has a differnet view of what as needed means.
She may have anxiety but this "program" is a dual diagnosis program with addicts/alcoholics and mental health disorders. WTH the hell are they thinking? We found so many receipts to walgreens and she said they go to program and everyone walks over to walgreens to get their weekly scripts filled. Shes been hiding this and lying which I dont take personally of course because thats typical addict behavior.

She has been blaming this behavior on the doctor not prescribing meds the right way, shes been blaming the seroquel.
We decided her mom was going to take her to a different psyche ER in hopes of getting admited to a different inpatient program. She was a agreeable cause she was already high.
Her klonopin was prescribed on the 7th with 15 pills and there was 1 left. We thought she had taken them over the three days. Klonopin has a 36 hour half life so it can build up in your system over time when abused.

I left and her mom ran errands and went back. This girl doesnt have her kids because of these issues and lives with her Dad. The mom texted me last night.
She got all combative and crazy, threatened to jump out the window and die was in and out of consciousness and all that. ALL in front of her kids who are used to this and told their nanny. Her breathing wasnt right so they called 911 and she admitted to taking 13 klonopin. 13! They took her to the hospital and treated it like an overdose and they told mom she was admitted and thats all we know now.

This is long I know but please, if you have addiction issues think long and hard about needing benzos. Even if you dont get addicted, the temptation to abuse them is so strong especially if you are not treating the reasons why you self medicate. She admitted to drinking on Friday and that this whole time shes been up to no good so her 90 coin was bull sh*t.
Addicts- please please be careful with them. Its so hard to not transfer the self medication from alcohol or other drugs to a new substance that has been known to cause addiction.
Its so hard to stay clean and you have to want it. Her poor kids have been through this enough.
I was very blunt yesterday as I usually am and mom was happy. I just talked to her and we might go up to the hospital and see what the options are.
She needs at least detox and she cant be around those kids or scare her parents like this.
We will see what she is like today.
This isnt meant to be judgy-if you have addiction issues and need them, have someone else monitor them. It shouldnt matter because even if you do not, whats the harm in playing it safe?

These meds go beyond making you dopey when you take enough of them.
We are trying to think about how to ream her day program for doing this. It seems like they medicate the hell out of them and keep them coming back and I guess its some kind of insurance profit.

Much love to all of you and blessings.
xxxooo
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Old 07-11-17, 10:21 AM
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Re: Please be careful with Benzos.

Yeah, my doctor is very wary about prescribing them.

So I just drink or self-injure instead.


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Old 07-11-17, 10:28 AM
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Re: Please be careful with Benzos.

oh boy, I quit the Klonopins and I was on 2mg 3x daily. I'd just eat the entire bottle. Times were tough then mentally for me.

After a noticeable behavior change in myself that was NOT pretty, I quit cold turk, of course after I had eaten the bottle, told shrinkipoo at the next month and when her eyebrows came down from the ceiling she rx'd Xanax, which I have never abused in 12 years. No desire to.

I know if I had Klonopins again I'd do the same thing. Horrible withdrawals. I had to wrap my head with paper towels because of the sweat pouring into my eyes.

I eat the whole bottle of Valium too. I don't know why Xanax and I work so well together.
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