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  #1  
Old 06-25-11, 11:19 AM
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wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

This is just a rant. Not really but my mom is picking my daughter up and the house is a wreck! She's been riding my butt all week about bringing positive energy into the house with cleaning up more. While I don't doubt the validity of this she doesn't understand the struggles I have. She knows I'm adhd but I don't think she gets how this goes beyond school troubles. I'm thinking of just not letting her into the house and tell her I just don't want judgement but I'm not sure. Has anyone else done something like this? I am going to try some quick cleaning before she comes but I know it won't be enough. Say a little prayer for me ...
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  #2  
Old 06-25-11, 11:27 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Good luck!!! Tell her if she cares so much then she is welcome to do it for you or at least help to get it done.... what ever happens, dont beat your self up, ok?
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  #3  
Old 06-25-11, 11:39 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

i just prayed that you will be @ peace when your mom comes by. i know its hard to "not care" what she thinks. But as much as possible...breath, and give yourself the permission to not believe all the stuff you "think" your mother is implying by her words & actions.

When she comes around, i bet you create as much stress and aggravation for yourself as she "actually" does. I'm not saying its all in your head, or anything like that. but if you can be aware of all the ugly things that you are saying to yourself in your mothers voice, at least you might have that much more energy to deal with whts actually coming from her.

You know you rock. And she probably thinks you rock too, but your a slob. is that so wrong? (just a little levity about you being a slob)
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Old 06-25-11, 11:41 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

And from one slob to another, I wouldn't let any family member (other than wife or kids) clean my house. It would just build up ammunition for them
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Old 06-25-11, 11:41 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Cant you get a good friend preferable one with ocd to just lend a hand,I would do it for you Sarah but i cant get there quick enough !
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Old 06-25-11, 11:52 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

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Originally Posted by julesjampot View Post
Cant you get a good friend preferable one with ocd to just lend a hand,I would do it for you Sarah but i cant get there quick enough !
great Idea. I bet you could find a few OCD co-dependants you could rely on to do some deep cleaning for you. with your looks, you could probably find some guys with low self esteem that would serve you to no end.

Cmon, you are really missing out on some good staffing options.
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Old 06-25-11, 12:17 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Ugh I know what you mean, I still do the cleaning scramble when my grandma comes over. She still thinks that one day I'll "grow up and make my bed". She's been saying that to me for years, and now I'm a mother and I still don't make my bed. EVER. I told her that when you die, nobody remembers you in your eulogy that you kept your house clean! On the other hand, it's sort of a blessing when I know company is coming over, because then I finally get my house clean. I work best under pressure. It's amazing how much I get done in an hour that I can't get done in a week!
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Old 06-25-11, 12:38 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Jules and Bruuks are right. If you can get some help, go for it. Just get the house picked up. It doesn't have to be spic and span. If you can't get a little help, then don't stress about it. If it REALLY bothers her, you can always casually say "well, I'd love it if you'd help me, I'm really having a tough time with this right now". Or you can say "mom, it is what it is. I'm a good person, I love my family and take good care of them. Everyone is happy and healthy, clean and loved. Will this really make a difference 10 years from now?"

Do what you can do. What you can't, fuhgeddaboudit!

Don't stress yourself out. In 10 years, 5 years, heck-next week-it just won't be that big of a deal. Hang in there, girl! Moms are tough to deal with sometimes.
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Old 06-25-11, 12:48 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

I would give ANYTHING to be able to have my Mom come to my house and help me clean. She died 20 years ago in a car accident and I still miss her very single day.

Don't let little things interfere with your relationship with your mom, especially if you feel she does what she does out of love for you and your family.
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Old 06-25-11, 12:50 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

aside the good advice.......


Good luck!
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Old 06-25-11, 12:59 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bruukswuzheer View Post
great Idea. I bet you could find a few OCD co-dependants you could rely on to do some deep cleaning for you. with your looks, you could probably find some guys with low self esteem that would serve you to no end.

Cmon, you are really missing out on some good staffing options.
I'm not so sure my looks would get me some help because I'm average looking but thanks anyway I know my Mom says _things out of love but its so easy for her. On top of being super organized she also keeps things picked up so maratho. Cleaning doesn't seem to be something she has to do.
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Old 06-25-11, 11:47 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

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I'm not so sure my looks would get me some help because I'm average looking but thanks anyway
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Old 06-26-11, 07:39 AM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Ok here's the update : she came over yesterday to pick up my daughter and I met her outside. I told her flat out that she couldn't come in because it wasn't company ready. She said she wasn't company and I said that she was right but because of the recent talks we've had with her cleaning advice, I would be more uncomfortable if she saw what wasn't done instead what was done. The thing is my mom and I are so close and she is usually very supportive of me with this exception. I guess she doesn't get the challenge I have with it. I hope I handled it right.
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Old 06-26-11, 12:06 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

How did she react?
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Old 06-26-11, 07:02 PM
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Re: wish me luck my mom is coming over and the house is a wreck!

Some of the best professional "advice" I've given in the last 27+ years

was probably 15-17 years ago,to an older adolescent whose parents

routinely went out of town for several days,leaving him with little money

and a collection of "gross food" in the fridge (i.e.,head cheese, sauerkraut

juice,liver,SPAM,etc).

You get the idea.

Irrespective of individual tastes, that equals the BARFORAMA JACKPOT

for a teenager.

So, anticipating their ritual "inspection" of household cleanliness upon

return,we planned ahead.

Fortunately, he had a part time job that afforded him with enough $$

to by edible food /snacks,etc.

However, because of past "debates" concerning the nature of the house,

which wasn't disturbed by his having "parties," which he didn't do, we

prepared for inspection.

My suggestion was to put aside a little extra form his pay checks, in order

to not only buy food that didn't suck,but also pay for a visit from the

local friendly Service Master dealer located in his town.

He had gotten an estimate of their cheapest service and had them come

over the day before mom & dad returned.

Not only did he "exceed" my expectations, he took on some of my unstated

"persona," in a non-transference kind of way , by sitting at the dinner

table as they arrived home, eating a (delivery) pizza;with silverware and

china,etc.

As they entered and looked around at how clean the place was, he stated,

"Can I offer you some pizza and a beverage?"

According to him,because he had ADHD and was "micro managed" his

whole life, it was one of those "priceless" moments they talk about now

in commercials.

Kind of like ..."Having your over controlling parents STFU, Priceless."

Another day, another happy customer.

tc

mctavish23

(Robert)


PS

Hope the "hidden message" hits home in preparation for the next

time this happens to you.
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