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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 11-29-03, 10:12 AM
mandjr mandjr is offline
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Woman with ADD feels crazy

I'm 29 and crazy. well it's called add but i feel crazy. i'm textbook add and that bugs me. I cry almost every day because i am so overwhelmed. i have to wait a year to see the one specialist in the province to help me as an adult. my son has add as well, trying to help and I feel like the blind leading the blind. i'm venting i know because i'm destroying my relationship with my spouse, my credit is a disgrace, my house is a mess despite the fact that I always seems to be doing something around the house, my purse is stuffed with everything but i can never find my license or bank card when i need it in there. i feel crazy. i feel like i'm not equipped to be an adult in the world. i have a new job every ten months in totally differing fields, and i have lost my sense of wanting to do anything career wise. there must be something i'm cut out for. i feel useless. i am starting to feel as thought I don't want to have more children even though i have always wanted more kids. i am afraid to 'lose myself' and who i am if i take medication, when i get that option sometime down the road. i want to change almost everything about myself. how does one even begin to do that? is anyone out there coping as a young woman who has screwed up her life due to this and now has to try and fix it?? someone give me some tips because i'm pulling my hair out.
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Old 11-29-03, 10:30 AM
waywardclam waywardclam is offline
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Well I'm not a young woman, but I relate to everything you are saying here except the purse bit...

I feel your pain and there are a lot of people here who do too.

If you hang around here, you're going to get a lot of advice on what to do, mostly polite, often practical. You're also going to get a lot of support and sympathy.

My credit is a lost cause too, my house is a disaster... I'm always losing my ID and bank card too... and my career is the sorest point where I match your experience...

I totally felt the way you do about medication, now I only have about half of that feeling. I have been on Wellbutrin for a month or so and I don't think it is really doing much of anything to me. When I go back to the shrink, they are going to prescribe Ritalin.

I still haven't decided what I am going to do when they do.

Welcome to the forums...
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  #3  
Old 11-29-03, 12:51 PM
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Mandjr: The good news is you're a YOUNG woman...and so you've got many years left....(assuming the world doesn't come to an end)....AND the good news is it sounds like for you things can ONLY get better from here.....

I would try one SMALL task at a time.....How about washing your dishes? OR re-organizing your purse.....(that always happens to me too by the way....not being able to find my bank card or license or whatever.....)

I would also try livng one day at a time....remembering you don't have to tackle all of your life's problems at once.....start small....

AND I would suggest starting a journal, a daily journal....either here (see creative endeavors) or on your own....I get the feeling your starting post here helped you at least a little bit...and this way, you can do that (let it all out) everyday if you wish....

Glad you're here....
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Old 01-15-04, 01:02 PM
Celia Celia is offline
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I liked reading about this. I can soooooooooo identify with you all. When I was twentysomething, I messed my life with debts. I wanted to declare bankrupcy but fortunately, I was able to save me some money by moving in with someone and spending less money by impulse. It took me a few years to fix that, it was hard, I wanted to take care of that right away. It took me seven years to finish a degree that took years to choose because I just couldn't tell what I really wanted. It was like a puzzle of which I had pieces of different puzzles and I had to sort everything out and get the ones that didn't fit out. I went from job to job for years. I'd stay with positions anywhere from three to nine months. After I graduated with a low GPA and all kinds of courses on my transcript, I couldn't get a job that paid more than minimum salary because of depression and motivation problems. This made me even more depressed. All this time I didn't know I had ADD yet, so I attributed all this to my lack of character and worthlessness. I got involved in relationships with people that like myself didn't really know what a healthy relationship was about. Most of my friends and relatives my age had gotten married and had their good salaries at a job they liked. I felt very ashamed of myself for not measuring up to them. When I found out I have ADD, a lot changed. Things started making sense for the first time after years in therapy. I started remembering things in my childhood that made a lot of sense, things I was not able to explain any other way. Just knowing about ADD helped a lot. I still had problems that frustrated me and debilitated my motivation, but at least I had something else to attribute it to. In therapy I was dealing with the things that were causing my problems. I was more accepting of them and myself. I grieved for my life, I still do some times for the things I am not able to do that part of me wants badly. But as I said I'm more accepting and as one person said earlier, I worked on taking things one day at a time. I get overwheled easily by daily tasks. Procrestination causes me to get very anxious and hopeless at times. I wish I did not put things off until anxiety is so overwhelming. My forgetfulness is sooooooo out of this world, I have to laugh some times, other wise I would just die. I leave my car keys locked in my car so often, I have a spare key hidden becasue I got so tired of waiting 30 to 40 minutes waiting for AAA to open my car for me. I still wait too long to put gas in the car's gas tank, I let it go to empty all the time, risking staying stuck some where. I've gotten better though, a while back I did stay stuck in a couple of places and I had to walk a long way to get some to get my car running. This caused me tardiness to trainings and other things. When I was most stressed I could not make it anywhere on time. Some times I still oversleep and get confused with the time my alarm clock shows, I realize I am very late until I'm in class. I either write too much and elaborate unnecessarily, or I'm not specific enough in my assignments. It's very hard for me to decide what is important to study and what isn't. Very confusing and paralyzing because then I feel I have to memorize everything. I would write even more if I tell you all the areas in which ADD makes me very different from most people. I am like most people, only my imperfections are much more frequent. And I am clumsy, as clumsy can be. Never been good in sports, some times it's just a joke to trip when just walking. So yeah, I still feel alone and different with all this. Not as much as before though, I'm still working on it all with my therapist. I have taken ritalin, adderal, effexor and wellbutrin. None have done it for me, but I haven't given up on taking other meds. I might try dexedrine next. I have the innatentive kind of ADD. Could anyone out there share what meds have worked for you if you also have the quieter, innatentive ADD? Thank you all. Thanks for acompanying me in the struggle of living with ADD.
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Old 01-15-04, 01:08 PM
Celia Celia is offline
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I liked reading about this. I can soooooooooo identify with you all. When I was twentysomething, I messed my life with debts. I wanted to declare bankrupcy but fortunately, I was able to save me some money by moving in with someone and spending less money by impulse. It took me a few years to fix that, it was hard, I wanted to take care of that right away. It took me seven years to finish a degree that took years to choose because I just couldn't tell what I really wanted. It was like a puzzle of which I had pieces of different puzzles and I had to sort everything out and get the ones that didn't fit out. I went from job to job for years. I'd stay with positions anywhere from three to nine months. After I graduated with a low GPA and all kinds of courses on my transcript, I couldn't get a job that paid more than minimum salary because of depression and motivation problems. This made me even more depressed. All this time I didn't know I had ADD yet, so I attributed all this to my lack of character and worthlessness. I got involved in relationships with people that like myself didn't really know what a healthy relationship was about. Most of my friends and relatives my age had gotten married and had their good salaries at a job they liked. I felt very ashamed of myself for not measuring up to them. When I found out I have ADD, a lot changed. Things started making sense for the first time after years in therapy. I started remembering things in my childhood that made a lot of sense, things I was not able to explain any other way. Just knowing about ADD helped a lot. I still had problems that frustrated me and debilitated my motivation, but at least I had something else to attribute it to. In therapy I was dealing with the things that were causing my problems. I was more accepting of them and myself. I grieved for my life, I still do some times for the things I am not able to do that part of me wants badly. But as I said I'm more accepting and as one person said earlier, I worked on taking things one day at a time. I get overwheled easily by daily tasks. Procrestination causes me to get very anxious and hopeless at times. I wish I did not put things off until anxiety is so overwhelming. My forgetfulness is sooooooo out of this world, I have to laugh some times, other wise I would just die. I leave my car keys locked in my car so often, I have a spare key hidden becasue I got so tired of waiting 30 to 40 minutes waiting for AAA to open my car for me. I still wait too long to put gas in the car's gas tank, I let it go to empty all the time, risking staying stuck some where. I've gotten better though, a while back I did stay stuck in a couple of places and I had to walk a long way to get some to get my car running. This caused me tardiness to trainings and other things. When I was most stressed I could not make it anywhere on time. Some times I still oversleep and get confused with the time my alarm clock shows, I realize I am very late until I'm in class. I either write too much and elaborate unnecessarily, or I'm not specific enough in my assignments. It's very hard for me to decide what is important to study and what isn't. Very confusing and paralyzing because then I feel I have to memorize everything. I would write even more if I tell you all the areas in which ADD makes me very different from most people. I am like most people, only my imperfections are much more frequent. And I am clumsy, as clumsy can be. Never been good in sports, some times it's just a joke to trip when just walking. So yeah, I still feel alone and different with all this. Not as much as before though, I'm still working on it all with my therapist. I have taken ritalin, adderal, effexor and wellbutrin. None have done it for me, but I haven't given up on taking other meds. I might try dexedrine next. I have the innatentive kind of ADD. Could anyone out there share what meds have worked for you if you also have the quieter, innatentive ADD? Thank you all. Thanks for acompanying me in the struggle of living with ADD.
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Old 03-18-04, 04:35 PM
MRB MRB is offline
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Boy, this sounds familiar as hell. I sure hope you don't give up b/c I'm older than you (and sensitive enough about it that I don't want to tell you how much) and I don't plan to give up anytime soon even though it still feels like a mad muddling struggle most days.

I will say this. Keep in mind that as women (no offense, WWC, but you probably don't even have to worry as much as we do about how your fingernails and your house look and STILL deal with the demands of employment - which have increased over the past 20 years, BTW, if you look at national statistics) HAVE MORE TO DO THAN MEN DO. So get yourself a good coach to assist you with strategies to deal, 'cuz you're NOT IMAGINING IT.
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Old 03-20-04, 01:38 PM
mandjr mandjr is offline
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it is so strange to read about other people with the car keys. I've actually locked my keys AND my infant in my car - TWICE. I can never find the damn keys in the morning. My son is now on Concerta but he has a drug plan through his father thankfully. I got a prescription for the same ritalin drug he was on previously but couldn't afford it. I took a few of his, and I just found it calming. I have to admit to something however. I really like being 'eccentric' and 'adventurous'. For instance, I am currently working a temp job (as usual because I can never commit) until December and most likely longer. I was offered a perm. job with benefits - and I TURNED IT DOWN! I was almost panic stricken over the thought of forever. I mean I still have dreams of making it on my own! Is this wrong? Should I just throw in the towel? I feel like succumbing to what "I'm supposed to be doing" will kill my spirit. I still feel as though I can be fabulously successful at something (if I can figure out what that is....). You know I read that in some cultures when people with ADHD are described the people laugh and can't believe this is considered a disability. We are considered 'old souls' that are just way closer to enlightenment. I really like that idea.... thanks all. It was a relief to put a name to my craziness, but I really like myself most days. Some days I feel worthless, especially when I don't get rewarded at my job because i'm not a 'real' employee. But most times I really like who I am and the way I am. And I totally support my son in whatever he feels like doing artistically or athletically. He is so brainy and fascinating it amazes me. There is so much potential and radical ideas among us. I think all in all, we are really cool. glad to be a member...lol.
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Old 03-22-04, 11:00 AM
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Gidget Gidget is offline
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I originally came here for help and support over my son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD/ But, oh man, you ladies sound sooooo much like me. The keys, losing things, forgetfulness and even the jobs and school. I have days where even getting dressed can seem overwhelming. I am going to get to a doc soon. Unfortunately I canot afford the meds and even if I could, I am nursing a baby allergic to dairy, soy , eggs and peanut. So even if I wanted to, weaning him is not an option right now. It's gonna be a challenge for sure.

Ginger
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Old 03-22-04, 11:02 AM
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Oh, and I can sooooo relate to the wallet thing. I will also go a whole week without balancing my checkbook, then I do not want to when I need to once I see all the slips that need to be entered.

Ginger
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Old 03-22-04, 05:10 PM
BarbaraAnne1975 BarbaraAnne1975 is offline
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I've placed my remote and keys in the refridgerator numerous times. When I moved recently, I packed my wallet with over 1000 bucks in cash for the movers) and didn't know where it was. Luckily my aunt was with me and was helping me unpack while the movers were still there. We found it....with the kitchen stuff.
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My friend Kim after I told her that I had ADD (she does also and has been on Ritalin since she was a child)
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