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Men with ADD/ADHD This forum is for men to discuss issues related to being a man with AD/HD.

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  #106  
Old 05-14-11, 01:58 AM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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Originally Posted by pooka View Post
... I'm still doubtful of whether you pay attention to an ounce of the advice you receive, but who knows? ...
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Originally Posted by Blueranne View Post
Wow, all of these replies are starting to sound like a broken recored player!
...
My feelings exactly !

Nevermore why ask for help if you only take into account the advices that confort your view of your social status ?

bye and good luck ( you will need it )
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  #107  
Old 05-14-11, 08:27 AM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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My feelings exactly !

Nevermore why ask for help if you only take into account the advices that confort your view of your social status ?

bye and good luck ( you will need it )
I ask for help because I want someone to help me find the answers I haven't been able to find on my own.
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  #108  
Old 05-14-11, 10:21 AM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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I ask for help because I want someone to help me find the answers I haven't been able to find on my own.
But people are giving you answers and aren't sure you're paying attention, is what he means.

Albert Ellis, a famous psychotherapist, did suggest to some of his patients that they just approach people they were interested in and introduce themselves. What is the worst that could happen, he'd say? Are they going to run away screaming? Vomit on you? Worst that can happen is they'll say they aren't interested. Is that so bad?
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  #109  
Old 05-14-11, 12:06 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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Originally Posted by KMiller View Post
But people are giving you answers and aren't sure you're paying attention, is what he means.

Albert Ellis, a famous psychotherapist, did suggest to some of his patients that they just approach people they were interested in and introduce themselves. What is the worst that could happen, he'd say? Are they going to run away screaming? Vomit on you? Worst that can happen is they'll say they aren't interested. Is that so bad?
I fear me. I don't fear them. How do I fear me? I don't want to end up traumatized if I make an *** out of myself.

Albert Ellis, famous psychotherapist, missed the point.
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  #110  
Old 05-14-11, 12:32 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

Albert Ellis wasn't a psychotherapist by the way. He was a psychologist with excellent beliefs regarding the relationship between thoughts and behaviors.

The technique Kmiller is trying to show you is called a shame attacking technique. You see Nevermore, whether people enjoy you or not, was not the purpose of the exercise. Rather, it was the action of doing it and doing it over and over again. So, that the individual would no longer care of the outcome. They would overcome the anxiety and worry associated with the situation. This is my interpretation of the exercise.
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  #111  
Old 05-14-11, 12:42 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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Albert Ellis wasn't a psychotherapist by the way. He was a psychologist with excellent beliefs regarding the relationship between thoughts and behaviors.

The technique Kmiller is trying to show you is called a shame attacking technique. You see Nevermore, whether people enjoy you or not, was not the purpose of the exercise. Rather, it was the action of doing it and doing it over and over again. So, that the individual would no longer care of the outcome. They would overcome the anxiety and worry associated with the situation. This is my interpretation of the exercise.
And what if the memories of all the rejections build up in my brain and cause me intolerable pain?
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  #112  
Old 05-14-11, 12:46 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

I tought you were done with this forum!
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  #113  
Old 05-14-11, 01:03 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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And what if the memories of all the rejections build up in my brain and cause me intolerable pain?
I wouldn't let the what ifs stop you. I have them too. I have memories some may deem intolerable.

What was your childhood like Nevermore? Do you have a lot of pain?


P.S. Technically Ellis can be considered a psychotherapist along with a psychologist. Psychologist for me seems far more appropriate.
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  #114  
Old 05-14-11, 01:09 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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I wouldn't let the what ifs stop you. I have them too. I have memories some may deem intolerable.

What was your childhood like Nevermore? Do you have a lot of pain?
All of my pain, however, stems from humiliations I endured in school, from classmates and teachers.

None of my traumas center around anything my parents did to me. At least not as far as I know.
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  #115  
Old 05-14-11, 01:16 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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I tought you were done with this forum!
I don't think that was ever his intention I think its more of a cry for help.
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  #116  
Old 05-14-11, 01:24 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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All of my pain, however, stems from humiliations I endured in school, from classmates and teachers.

None of my traumas center around anything my parents did to me. At least not as far as I know.

How were you humiliated when you were in school? Can you talk about them here? Did you talk to your therapist about them?
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  #117  
Old 05-14-11, 01:56 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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How were you humiliated when you were in school? Can you talk about them here? Did you talk to your therapist about them?
I was a good student but was treated like an idiot. I endured a lot of pain.

I have tried to bring that up in therapy but was treated like it's all in my head.

Now that I have an ADHD diagnosis, perhaps an ADHD therapist will understand.
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  #118  
Old 05-14-11, 02:33 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

Fear of rejection and social anxiety is common for ADHDers so are your experiences at school. A good adhd expert should understand and help.
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  #119  
Old 05-15-11, 01:58 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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Fear of rejection and social anxiety is common for ADHDers so are your experiences at school. A good adhd expert should understand and help.
How will he help?
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  #120  
Old 05-15-11, 02:49 PM
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Re: I know people with Asperger's Syndrome who have girlfriends. How come I don't?

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How will he help?
Voodoo.
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