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  #91  
Old 06-26-12, 01:15 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Conman

It seems the quote in your sig is quite opposite of they way you feel
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  #92  
Old 06-26-12, 01:16 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebelyell View Post
was thinking more on the lines of a big cucumber
As long as you remove it before you help an old lady cross the street or something.
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  #93  
Old 06-26-12, 01:18 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

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As long as you remove it before you help an old lady cross the street or something.

Old lady will take one look at it and smile *you remind me of someone i once knew.
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  #94  
Old 06-26-12, 02:01 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

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Originally Posted by Flounder41 View Post
Conman

It seems the quote in your sig is quite opposite of they way you feel

how perceptive of you. it's only when it comes to things like women that im not completely daring or energetic or meh like i normally am
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  #95  
Old 06-26-12, 03:19 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Well, Your reality is what you make it.

On another note,
Lol @ " things like women"^

And being "daring With women" is more like taking a 1/10 back home to your parents house after a night
Of bar hopping and waking up the next morning with her still there. Being sober, you.can now see. Ashamed of what you've brought home,
She must be snuck out of the house so the fam doesn't see.
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Last edited by Flounder41; 06-26-12 at 03:33 PM..
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  #96  
Old 06-27-12, 01:36 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

fine, by 'things' i mean 'matters of...'

and i shall ignore the drinking/sober part since that only affects me every now and then as opposed to you adults who do it whenever you want
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  #97  
Old 06-27-12, 09:46 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PookDo View Post
I can tell you from personal experience the minute you stop trying or caring if you are good with women you will have more women talking to you than ever before.Hard to explain but it's happened to me and other guys I know.The last thing you want or need is validation
If that advice were true I would have women talking to me, because I tend to be very indifferent. But they just ignore me.
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  #98  
Old 06-27-12, 09:54 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flounder41 View Post
Well, Your reality is what you make it.

On another note,
Lol @ " things like women"^

And being "daring With women" is more like taking a 1/10 back home to your parents house after a night
Of bar hopping and waking up the next morning with her still there. Being sober, you.can now see. Ashamed of what you've brought home,
She must be snuck out of the house so the fam doesn't see.
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  #99  
Old 06-28-12, 12:38 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

I think this type of mentality is a big problem in this world. Men want women, men want sex, men want pleasure. If you're loving life, the love of your life will also come along during the journey. Don't seek women, follow your heart instead. Seeking therapy for help with women is beyond silly imho; reading magazines with people's advice on "how to get women" is stupid as well.

I sense you are angry for some reason, not having a relationship honestly cannot be the problem. You need to look at your life and see what is truly making you unhappy. Let me rephrase this so im clearer, no man in this world is unhappy for the sole reason of not having a girlfriend or not being in a relationship, it goes beyond this. Something in your life is making you unhappy and you need to change this. You can keep living the way you are living or you can take my advice and make a change.

It's really simple, men aren't happy because they get girls, girls come to men that are already happy.
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  #100  
Old 06-28-12, 02:02 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gearcube View Post
Of course not.

But because of my "lifestyle choices" it means that I must play the numbers game harder than almost everyone. I won't have to hit on 100 women before I get lucky, more like 10000.
An ugly friend of a friend of mine went into bars and asked women up front upon meeting them "you wanna ****?" and would get a 1 in 10 success rate. This proves that no matter how screwed up in the head you are, there is an equal to you in the opposite sex. Bam. Scary huh?
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  #101  
Old 06-28-12, 02:58 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

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Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
Just ASK. oh great gods in the sky and upon the earth. Just ask a girl out. How are.we supposed to know if you want to go out? Every guy stares moon faced.at my tits. Even gay guys stroke my hair and go on about how pretty it is. Just freaking ask.

What is the worst that could happen?
Men fear rejection.

I wish it was as simple as an Albert Ellis type of technique like "what's the worst that could happen." If it was that simple, we wouldn't be talking about it on this thread. Would we?

Given the emotion regulation problems associated with ADD, it makes the experience a double wammy. It takes a lot of courage to go up to a woman and ask her out. Many ADDers don't have the highest levels of confidence, which makes it more challenging.

Asking a woman out can be done with success, but I don't feel like it's as simple as it seemed to be portrayed in your post.
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  #102  
Old 06-28-12, 03:13 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

i agree with the man who be anonymous. i personally dont fear rejection, just the consequences and shockwaves it produces. but it's not a simple science when a guy asks a girl out unless theyre A: a natural, or 2: have had years of experience.

and with all sorts of extra problems from AD/HD, it just makes things 60% harder
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  #103  
Old 06-28-12, 08:23 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymouslyadd View Post
Men fear rejection.

I wish it was as simple as an Albert Ellis type of technique like "what's the worst that could happen." If it was that simple, we wouldn't be talking about it on this thread. Would we?

Given the emotion regulation problems associated with ADD, it makes the experience a double wammy. It takes a lot of courage to go up to a woman and ask her out. Many ADDers don't have the highest levels of confidence, which makes it more challenging.

Asking a woman out can be done with success, but I don't feel like it's as simple as it seemed to be portrayed in your post.
it's not like, you mentally convince yourself that nothing bad can happen, then you approach a woman and BAM! succes. it's more like, you see a girl you like, you have incredible anxiety, but somehow you push through it, and you start a conversation. it will probably be super awkward, and she'll reject you, or who knows she might even like you. then you repeat that dozens, hundreds, thousands of times, however many it takes, and eventually it becomes normal. progressive desensitization.

you can't convince your brain with talk. but with endless experience, you brain will finally say 'ok I guess you're right, there really IS nothing scary about this.'
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  #104  
Old 06-28-12, 11:28 AM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

escortsescortescorts.
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  #105  
Old 06-28-12, 12:16 PM
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Re: Today I realized that I will never be successful with women. In other words...

A saying common among mountain bikers comes to mind:

You pick your line and commit.

Basically, when you're lining up to throw yourself-with-bike off a steep hill or some such, you pick out the path you will take and commit to doing it. Feel the fear and do it anyways.
Once you get rolling, there's no turning back or changing your mind, worrying about what might go wrong will likely cause you to crash. You just gotta be in the moment. Committed to the line you picked and working your way down. Sure you might still crash and crash hard. But it's better than sitting at the top of the hill watching your friends go down it.

Aside from that, when I as an ADHD woman approaches a guy, I'm scared too. Men aren't the only ones afraid of rejection, or who screw up socially, or take a risk when it comes to courtship.

Even if I'm not the one making the first move, it's still scary. What if my flirting is terrible? What if I come across as easy or prudish or stupid or boring? What if i'm sending out the wrong signals.

It's not like the girl you're trying to talk to is all filled up with confidence and perfection. She's just as freaked out, hopeful and self conscious as you are.

We aren't super girl. We aren't bastions of perfection. We are people. Flawed, nervous people.

Knowing that so many men put women on some insane pedestal and have it in their minds that we are perfect, and demand perfection from them, makes it even harder to meet guys.

Being nervous shows us that you actually give a damn. You're not just some stud muffin looking for another conquest.

Look, half of the men I've ever slept with couldn't get it up the first time because they were so nervous.

Let me say that again to drive the point home:

Half of the men I've ever slept with couldn't get it up the first time because they were so nervous.


The only ones that I didn't see a second time was the one who started crying over it and the one who got angry and blamed me for it. All the others got a second chance. A couple of them I wound up in long term relationships with.

I expect you to put your foot in your mouth.
I expect you to put on too much axe body spray to cover the flop sweat.
I expect you to you bungle giving me compliments.
I expect you to struggle to perform the first couple of times we are intimate, and once in a while after that.

I want to you to be a human being. I expect you to be a flawed human being.

I hope you will forgive my lame attempts at jokes.
I hope you will ignore the stain on my blouse that I didn't realize was there until too late.
I hope you don't notice how clumsy I am when I'm eating.
I hope you don't judge me harshly when you see me without make up the first time.


I hope you want a human being. I hope you can accept that I am a flawed human being.

When I'm with a guy, when I'm meeting a man. I'm not watching every move you make, just waiting for you to mess up. I'm hoping that you don't notice how bad I am at walking in high heels.
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