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Old 01-23-13, 06:30 PM
GeordieDave GeordieDave is offline
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I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Alright.. where to start?

I have an issue with spending and binge drinking when I am out. But also just recently I have started drinking alone when I get home from work.

First off, the binge drinking I am aware and not too fussed about it. I live in Newcastle it's a student capital, cheap drinks and cheap nights out. Us Geordies are well known for binge drinking. It doesn't help that my group of friends are out all weekend and spent at least £100 each a night. But I get so bored and I am so easily persuaded I have to go out and drink and drink and drink! How can I stand strong and stop going out so much. It's wasting my money.

What really is bothering me is that rcently (for about a month) I have been bored after work and fancied a drink, so I would get a pack of beer or a bottle of win (I have just started likeing white wine) and last night my flat mate walked in and althought he said it in Jest he called me a 'lonely alcoholic'. I did take it as a joke, but I am a sensitive guy at times and it got me thinking. For about a month every few nights a week I would buy a bottle or a few cans. I had one last night and another tonight. I will admit that it's mainly been on Tuesdays and Wednesdays as I do not finish work until 21:30 and get in at around 22:30 so I can not be bothered to cook. I am just worried that I am going to become this lonely alcoholic who sits and drinks after work and thats not what I want.

But also I am a take away addict. I LOVE Chinese and Indian. What doesn't help is that there is a take away 5 minutes away from me and when I do finish work late I walk past it... and always buy something.

Sorry for rambling on, I am just wanting to know if there is anything I can do to stop all these urges and to stop spending money on pointless ****!

Although I KNOW i should NOT buy any wine or food after work as I really can not afford to but also it's bad for my health. I keep saying no to myself... But at the back of my mind I have some sort of impulse or a thought saying "Come on it won't do any harm , this is the last time"

and I give in and drink and eat.

So really my question is.. How can I stop this impulsive "**** it" behavior and if you guys can share any tips?

Thanks
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Old 01-23-13, 06:45 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Oh no.
Have you always had these impulses and were you always giving in to them or is it a recent thing? Or do you go though periods of these types of impulsive desires?

If it's a recent thing (by recent meaning, from a few weeks to a few months, but not more than a few months), it could it be that you're having a manic episode.
And if that's the case, then it could be that you are bipolar.
Or it could mean that you have ADD/ADHD, since many of us use food, gambling, drinking, shopping etc etc as a way to distract ourselves from the ADD brain driving us nuts with sending a million thoughts at the same time where we have a hard time processing them separately. When we do the same thing (something that makes us feel good, like food, shopping etc) we can focus on that task to stop to take a little break from these overwhelming thoughts. It gives us something to do, until we're back to dealing with it.

Have you ever been diagnosed with any bipolar/ADD/ADHD/ others?
Are you on any meds at the moment?
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Old 01-23-13, 06:51 PM
GeordieDave GeordieDave is offline
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Well I am not entirely sure. I do go through depression periods. I will go for about a month, feeling down, lonely, mess things up at work, get too drunk and do/say silly things and then I will go be happy, confident, sociable, friendly.. Just genrally a nice person until my 'bubble' pops.

I used to live with my parents and they are pretty strict so they wouldn't allow any of this to happen. It has been since I moved out of my parents. For the binge drinking. That has been going on since I was about 18.

I don't gamble. My mom HATES it as my real dad who I barely know used to gamble all the time. So she is against it. I do however play poker every Monday. She is aware of this, she doesn't like it. But I am a good poker play, I a decent amount 7/10 times I play. So I have had the extra cash this week.

I have an appointment to see an ADHD specialist on the 6th of Feb. Been waiting about a year for it. So I am not on any medication yet. I do show a lot of signs for ADHD but also I have started to look into bipolar and show some signs there as well. Getting quite worried now thinking of it.
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Old 01-23-13, 06:57 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

I used to drink too much and it majorly messed up my life.


After kicking the alcohol I learned that I could enjoy my own company...... and began to understand that the huge "NEED" I had for social stimulation (and associated anti anxiety alcohol consumption )wasn't a healthy thing and I had to come to terms with my own serious insecurities about myself and how I felt around others.

However ... the way I actually kicked alcohol was rather strange.... I was up in findhorn in the community there..... One of my friends bumped into a rather strange old woman.... who with a short conversation and a few waves of her hands produced a rather profound emotional reaction in my friend.

I was decidedly sceptical, but later I too met this rather strange old woman, and got into conversation with her... she asked me outright what I would most like to change about my behaviour.... i couldn't really think of anything profound so I said, rather impulsively that I'd like to stop drinking.

The woman fixed me with a rather disconcerting eye, and waved her hands over my head..... making every hair stand on end. Brusquely she told me to stay out of pubs for a few weeks and walked off.

The weird thing was.... it worked... that strange gravitational pull toward pubs and bars was gone.... the bodily reaction to the sound of a cork being pulled was no longer present..... bottles now remain in my fridge and wine is left unopened for months. Very very odd....

Ok so this doesn't help you...... apart from telling you to be open to change from the most unexpected quarters.

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Old 01-23-13, 07:04 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Whoahh thats creepy!

I do feel the need of being very social. I used to be a lonely teen. I played video games every day of the week. Until I quit and decided to gain some social skills. Now I will admit I sometimes feel insecure, with the need of, if I drink a load of vodka before I go out, it will boost my confidence as it really does. I can not go out sober, no chance in hell will you ever see me sober in a nightclub. I've went a few times before but felt, socially awkward, shy and distant. but when I drink... It's like another person comes out of me.

I keep saying to myself "You need to stop" and so does my mom. But then I will be in a bad mood or I will be bored and jump up and say "**** it I am getting drunk tonight!"

And now although I know I should be cutting down.. It's actually getting worse and worse!
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Old 01-23-13, 07:21 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeordieDave View Post
Well I am not entirely sure. I do go through depression periods. I will go for about a month, feeling down, lonely, mess things up at work, get too drunk and do/say silly things and then I will go be happy, confident, sociable, friendly.. Just genrally a nice person until my 'bubble' pops.

I used to live with my parents and they are pretty strict so they wouldn't allow any of this to happen. It has been since I moved out of my parents. For the binge drinking. That has been going on since I was about 18.

I don't gamble. My mom HATES it as my real dad who I barely know used to gamble all the time. So she is against it. I do however play poker every Monday. She is aware of this, she doesn't like it. But I am a good poker play, I a decent amount 7/10 times I play. So I have had the extra cash this week.

I have an appointment to see an ADHD specialist on the 6th of Feb. Been waiting about a year for it. So I am not on any medication yet. I do show a lot of signs for ADHD but also I have started to look into bipolar and show some signs there as well. Getting quite worried now thinking of it.
You could have both bipolar and ADD/ADHD.

I would see a specialist in bipolar disorder too. In fact, I would have seen that person before the ADD specialist, since if you get prescribed medication for ADD, and are bipolar, these meds (especially if they are stimulants) could trigger manic episodes.
And not to forget about your depression. That needs to be identified as well in terms of what kind of depression you are suffering from.
And before you are prescribed anti-depressants, that will mask the symptoms of your depression and make it harder to find out if you are bipolar or not, it's best to find out if it's the bipolar thats causing your depression.
If so, then in my opinion finding the right mood-stabilizer should be top priority (to control the manic as well as the depressive periods/episodes).

Don't be scared of being diagnosed.
But being diagnosed wrong is something to be afraid of. Which happens a lot. Especially if people are taking meds that mask the real symptoms of their disease. Most doctors don't listen too well and are often too quick diagnose patients and prescribe meds. You have to make sure they hear you well and aren't rushing you. Good luck!
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Old 01-23-13, 07:43 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

what i find is that i no longer need/want to go to social places/events where alcohol is the "normal" way to interact socially. Looking back I can see that because I thought I needed alcohol to interact with people without anxiety I tended to ONLY go to places where alcohol was the normal way of easing interactions..... so I hung out with people who also couldn't really interact without alcohol.... which produces a positive feedback loop.

This means that to change behaviour one not only has to deal with the addiction/withdrawal from alcohol, but also the sudden loss of social life.... which is tough.

Now I have found there is a social life out there that doesn't involve alcohol.... and the interactions with others have become easier over time. This has been helped by me being up front about my social anxieties, my past history with alcohol and my embracing the possibility of change....

so instead of going to the pub/club I go to Tango.... which was pretty challenging as one gets REALLY up close and personal with some very attractive women.... but is easier because one is there to feel into the dance and not to talk. I also go to 5 rythms and biodance type dance which is non-alcoholic....and again I can just dance and connect to people in ways that are completely different and actually more genuine than i ever got at a conventional alcohol fuelled club......

I can have a whole night's dancing for the price of a single drink in a club.

Experiment... and see what suits you.... as a guy it's really scary to walk into a dance class, not knowing anyone or anything about the dance... but if one is genuinely there to learn and find a different way of being a bloke surprising things happen!

In addition these events/classes are weekly and don't require a posse of friends to go along too.....so even if I'm feeling down and am on my own I can still go and get an oxytocin/dopamine fix and feel better for it.... I find that holding a stunning young Latvian student close in ones arms does tend to blow away the blues!

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Old 01-23-13, 07:58 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Thank you both for your input in this! Both been great help.

Starry, thank you for your response. About a year ago I was on anti-depressants and went to a psychologist to do some CBT. But I stopped going as he referred me to the ADHD specialist and I personally thought I did not suffer from depression as most of the time I am a happy person. But as I said go through some weeks being depressed. At the moment I am in between. If that makes sense lol? Will the ADHD specialist not be able to tell me if I am bi-polar or not?

Kilted, than you for your response as well. That would be an interesting thing. A few things really... The main thing is that I have torn my ACL so I can not do much dancing, especially twists and turns hehe. I can kinda jump up and down lightly in a club and dance to dance music lol secondly my dancing skills are appalling and also I am 23 years old I think I would be too embarrassed to do tango. It would be worth a try I guess. Pretty scary thinking of it though!
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Old 01-23-13, 08:37 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

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Will the ADHD specialist not be able to tell me if I am bi-polar or not?
Bipolar and ADHD are different but there is a lot of overlap in the symptoms, making them somewhat difficult to separate from each other. It's possible (maybe even likely) for a good aware well-trained doctor to be unsure which it is at first.
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Old 01-23-13, 08:43 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Thanks, well I will bring it up at my appointment and try and get them to take bi-polar into consideration.
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Old 01-23-13, 08:44 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

I am not calling you an alcoholic but I can see alot of myself in the early days in you.
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Old 01-23-13, 08:48 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

I know, I am not calling myself an alcoholic neither. It's not like I get up in the morning and need a drink. It's just went I am bored or after a long day at work.

The binge drinking I think is just what young people in my city do during the weekend. But I need to start realizing that I am 23 now. It's time to calm down and think about a future.

What did you do to get out of this "**** it" mind set?
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Old 01-23-13, 08:49 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

I have periods of depression, but I don't think I'm bi-polar.... I am working on being aware of what triggers a slump and how to shorten it.

since alcohol is a depressant you may well find that kicking alcohol will (after a while) mean your depressive periods are shorter and less severe.

As for being embarrassed.....for me dealing with the embarrassment was a significant part of the process of change.... in a dance class it's a "controlled environment" which allows me to experiment and get to grips with the anxiety and embarrassment in a safe and supportive environment.

I thought my dance skills were bad.... but it seems that was all to do with my lack of confidence and inhibitions..... which was why I needed alcohol to function in social situations..... dealing with embarrassment in dance class has helped me deal with social situations outside the class.... and means i don't need the alcohol crutch any more... it's a positive feedback reaction.

This is all part of learning how to be a mature bloke..... in Tango the bloke LEADS in a mindful way... it is his job, he has to develop "presence" and also the ability to communicate his instructions to his partner through subtle movements of his body.... therefore he has to know where his own body is and the messages it is giving out.....

very good for us ADDers (and once properly learned it seems to act like catnip on women outside the dance space).

he also has to make his partner feel comfortable and allow her the space to be beautiful, so he also has to be very aware of his partner and where her body is and the messages she is sending back.....

which requires "contact"..... the fundamental building block of any meaningful connection.... so Tango becomes a metaphor for daily life.. and through Tango one can learn how to be aware of oneself and another person as one interacts with them.

Up here the universities are into Tango so the culture has a significant 20 something presence.....not something I was expecting, but it makes for a fun vibe.

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Old 01-23-13, 08:54 PM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

That's actually really motivational cheers! I might as well give it a try! I could have a look around. There is no harm in trying. At what age did you start?

Just watched a Youtube video. No chance I can do that stuff haha!! Would take a lot of training!
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Old 01-24-13, 01:53 AM
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Re: I can not stop spending nor drinking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeordieDave View Post
Thank you both for your input in this! Both been great help.

Starry, thank you for your response. About a year ago I was on anti-depressants and went to a psychologist to do some CBT. But I stopped going as he referred me to the ADHD specialist and I personally thought I did not suffer from depression as most of the time I am a happy person. But as I said go through some weeks being depressed. At the moment I am in between. If that makes sense lol? Will the ADHD specialist not be able to tell me if I am bi-polar or not?
You're so welcome
If the ADD specialist also specializes in bipolar disorder, he/she might be able to determine whether you are bipolar or not.
But even specialists, don't generally seem to figure out what it is that you might have, unless YOU bring it up. That's been my experience with psychologists and psychiatrists over the years.
That is unless you go in there and say that you're hearing voices and seeing things that other people can't, think that most people are out to get you and list these types of unmistakeable and obvious symptoms that are just so "standard text-book", most of these doctors generally miss anything that's not standard text-book obvious. Not sure why/how they do, but they do.
Bi-polar and ADD do share some symptoms, so it'll be a task for your doc to determine which it is you might have/ or you may have both/ neither.
I hope you get diagnosed correctly.
It's great that you are so knowledgeable about both illnesses. It'll help you greatly when talking to your doc and figuring things out together.
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