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  #31  
Old 06-05-13, 09:04 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Please can I get an update on how you are on Dextroamphetamine? I start mine tomorrow... age 43, undiagnosed until yesterday.
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  #32  
Old 06-06-13, 01:20 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Hey there, monalisasimpson

The Dex

I've gone up to 15mg twice a day. The 10mgX2 did well for around 5 to 6 weeks then I noticed the coverage slipping 15mins every week. I'm small, 50-55kg... and I want to keep the dose as low as possible yet still effective. It's really good how it wore off earlier than having a lesser effect for the whole time.

I feel that the way my dose has been implemented was perfect. 5mgX2 fir one week. 10mgX2 for two months, then increase if warranted.....obviously if you have greater mass other factors that may be different for good reason!

About three weeks ago I came across a post about citrus lowering it's effectiveness hugely, and water passing so I've cut out citrus and sone days I am a little more mindfull about drinking heaps of water / exerting too much... This is not really helthy but I don't have the freedom of "as neccissary" boosters so rarely this is something I have to be mindfull of


In general, it is good..... I can't help but relate to the movie ( ******** brainfreeze ) ahhhh.... Limitless...

I mean, it doesn't make you superman, high or anything. Just takes away the loopy / fuzzy mindset. Clarity, emotions don't interfere with thought processes in the same way.... Your able to acknowledge and be aware / control your thoughts to some degree.

That's how I know it's Waring off ( quick is not a good thing to do by the way before your midday dose if you have one.... Because the second doses efeectivejess / kick in is diminished )..

I have to admit, I'm extremely scared of ever running out, losing a script, being put on other meds. It is in no way from physical addiction, I feel that this medicine makes me normal(ish)...... There have been evenings where I have been tempted to take it for social gatherings. U have to remind myself that I'm still a person without it. Where would I stop if I did that? Imaging how detrimental it would be if you threw your sleep out by 5 hours... The negative effect would shadow your demeanor / functioning for a day or few...

So yeah, it's a good opportunity to do work outside the dex and see any fundamental changes...

The mother of all hangovers

This is exaggeration, but if you don't take it, for me, by 11amish.... My mood goes extremely foggy, similar to the worst days without the meds. I'm not sure how much of this is withdrawl / dopamine receptors getting starved or something else or how many hours or days it would last for, but I'm sure there are posts on here about coming off it. ( get a watch with multiple alarms and carry a backup stash ( one day supply ) in the bottom of your purse or wallet or something

I might try abstaining one weekend when I'm not doing public stuff / thinking stuff.....see if it improves by Sunday..... If you had co-morbid depression, I can see how forgetting to take the morning dose if dex would have you in a bad way by lunch ( unless the uptake inhibitors mask it )

Lifestyle is really important to get the most from it. Sleeping at the right times, eating healthy....etc

Hope that info helps... and thanks for the prompt.. .was due to jot something to record my progress with that.

On tangent note: I keep forgetting to ask my psychologist / psychiatrist their opinion of all the vitamins I'm taking ( fishoil, b, d, multi, glucosamine-notadhdrelated )

In the near future when my week stabilised a bit, I mist remember to run some mood diaries and experiment with cutting them out one at a time to see if I notice change..
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  #33  
Old 06-06-13, 01:38 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by courier View Post
(snip) maybe legal medications would help, but my mindset won't allow it
Hey courier..... If you don't mind........Can you please elaborate on what you mean by mindset? Do you mean believing that one should "own" behaviour or doing so would be an excuse ( stigmas )? Or/and other stuff?
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  #34  
Old 06-06-13, 07:26 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Slowing Down ( or maintaining while commitments change )

EDIT: Geez, I really babbled...... so in summary

-Lots of stressors / changes = hard to maintain structure
-Communication has not come as far as I thought it had ( fine - but need to be more patient - regular
-New environments are good for change - but it's really challenging controlling the balance


OK, so the last month ( maybe 2 months ) have thrown some real challenges at me...

-My Ex stopped me seeing the kids for 3 weeks ( please don't take this as Mapperesque )
-My Father ( who lives with me, or I live with him ) had to be hospitalised and with serious health issues
-I ran out of money bigtime - Had to cancel treatment, dig through the depths of the cupboard etc. etc. etc. ( I even stopped smoking for a day! - but slept half of it hehehe )
-Daughter was suspended for 10 days and had to be cautioned by police

The reason I have brought this stuff up now is;

1) For a record in the diary - it's influence on me
2) To explain how I have dealt with these things

Managing Stress

The Good

-I have rarely if at all, dwelled, personalised, blamed, reacted or boiled over....something I would have done before

-This time.........it's strange, I've been practical, realistic, firm ( at times ) and generally taken all this stuff on board without blowing it up or over dwelling in what I am not getting or getting.

There are times when I feel some weight, with the compounding of all these things at once....... Especially last week....when my dad went to hospital.

Play is something I do not have much of and it would have helped a bit

I wonder if I am repressing as I have done in the past with really confronting things or the medication / mind work has actually allowed me to process these things rather than dwell?


Work Experience - New Experiences

This week I am doing work experience. The course I am doing is finishing in two weeks so we are out, in industry......waking up at 4am, leaving at 4:45........riding for 1.5hrs to the site.......physical work for 7 hours.......riding 1.5 hours home........you get the picture

Now, with the events above and this change in Lifestyle....... the work / pacing / tools i've been working on have largely been paused.......The people at this place are absolutely amazing. Kind, accepting........

In a way it is good;

-It is time to devote to something that is really important for the wellbeing of not only me but those that are close to me.
-It is an opportunity to gain new skills and potentially a job
-It adds alteration to my routines, which honestly, had started to stagnate / become self consuming
-It allows me to interact with people and test tools / develop / see if i'm changing etc.

Now.....................

Cleaning habits are happening
-All of the lists and daily cleaning, washing, housework have definitely been habitised to some extent. I mean, even on days where I don't run to a strict list....... I'm washing clothes, dishes and generally optimising my hometime to what is important.

7 hours is a long time to be present - patient - alert
-Interacting with people / altering my thinking has not progressed as much as I thought it had. There are moments of the day, where I am more aware, present, open etc...... Yet there are also a lot of times where I fall back into quick thinking, me thinking, fusing etc. etc. etc.


-Altering speech is very, very hard. I am able to listen and be open mostly in the morning time. But toward the afternoon, back comes the "me babble" or "I need to relate to this or give an opinion" babble. How you talk, what you, your agenda. Silence is a hard thing to deal with when i'm "on the go" - "doing" ...... I wish I could keep conversations practical, light and two way....... but find myself repeating old habits a lot.

-The schedule demand has totally blown out of the water most things ( tasks / hobbies / appointments ) I have been doing or planned to do. I think this is an element of what I/we have always done and that is to invest ( possibly over-invest ) in one thing alone. Sure, i'm making positive action, it's normal to not have time for other things. I guess I feel like i'm letting myself down by not making progress or maintaining where I was with those things. Sure a lot of this is unwarranted..... but some smaller key things need to be rebuilt into the new programme.....just gotta work out how.....

-Even little things....I've started drinking two cups of coffee in the evenings....... had a few days of really whacky sleep, forgot to take medicine as regularly ( 1 hour late second dose etc. )

-I am really anxious about this work experience turning into a job. Investing a lot of hope into this. I have had thoughts of if someone is unhappy with me there of chucking it all in because i'm misunderstood. ( something I'm all too familiar with ) and now I see the relationship between me caring about an outcome and then catastrophising / withdrawing / black and whiting based on imagined issues or one off incidents that in the bigger picture may not even matter.

( My meds also have had lesser effect, i'm not sure if this is because of the hours change, more physical exertion, less smoking.....probably a combination of all three )

Still need help apprieciating who I am and what I achieve
There is a lot of good stuff that I have done ...........and I need to be mindful of appreciating those events and changes...

Also need help reaching out to people

So, i'm too attached to this outcome..... too much wanting change/presence and losing sight of the simple tools that brought it about in the first place. Somewhat overwhelmed with the multiple priorities.

Ha, speaking of good stuff....... my daughter was here all weekend....did not run away........ I even sat and chatted with her for a while and although she was harsh and abrupt...... I maintained a practical non-confrontational tone........
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  #35  
Old 06-06-13, 09:37 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Thank you for this. Starting small...2.5 mg this morning. The beginning of a great adventure.. I will left everyone know how it goes.
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  #36  
Old 06-07-13, 01:18 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

So, this anxiousness and ruminating about the outcome bit me on the *** this morning.

I slept in...because I had too many coffees last night and went to bed too late.

I awoke to a phone call from my teacher talking about paperwork I was supposed to print out and get filled in ( note: because he did not make it to my work....it is his responsibility.......he didn't verbalise his frustration but I know he was a little frustrated that I could not do what he wanted me to ).....

The good thing is, I felt guilty about my teacher for a while but then I was able to move on from that

Fir the first time I took my meds pretty soon after waking up. There was no way I was going to get dressed ruminating about how guilty I feel about being late. So I got there, communicated well, and I think I made amends

I knew I should have called them when I woke up but I'm still fearful of using a phone, not sure exactly who to call. It's the one thing I'm pretty dissapointed about.

The funny thing us, I was late because I wanted to succeed. How whacky is that... Important -> anxous -> coffee / lost healthy living principles -> slept in. Nuts
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Old 06-08-13, 10:44 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

My Absent Appearance of Caring Brother

So, on my mum's side, most of her brothers and sisters are doctors or nurses....my mum is a nurse......my dad is a doctor........ there was this unverbalised pressure to succeed academically which I never did. I was percieved as a "impulsive troublemaker" which I took on and early on in childhood learn't to distract and quit so as not to fail etc.

My mother favoured my Brother, because he did not give her problems. He was academically adapt, independant and he has been working as a doctor for several years.

I guess I resented him alot, I could not apply myself like he did.......verbalise myself like he did........ on top of that he was very critical, insulting and not tolerant or affectionate growing up. There were alot of times that I blamed him but I realise that a lot of who he is and how he acted was not by choice.....

Anyway.......from the time he finished high school he moved out and has kept in minimal physical contact with myself, my mother and my father. He visits once a year or two but has largely lived interstate. He is very controlling and in the past has shown an inability to be surrounded by people that do not share his way......... judgemental I guess...........


I understand in some ways, based on the way my father is and my mother is and perhaps I was......we were kind of toxic to his flow........... He rarely sent my kids christmas or birthday presents........... but when he comes to town to visit his friends he sometimes "tries" to find time to visit us for one hour ( any more would be intolerable for him )...........

What the point of all this?

I mentioned my father was sick............ I live in my fathers house and have recieved alot of financial suport from my father in my adulthood........for living expenses prior to being diagnosed and for medical bills since being diagnosed.......there are times when I have cut off contact from my father...........partly because he was pushing me to realise my potential and I was could not do that and felt guilty.....like I was lazy ( before being diagnosed )........yet I have always been compassionate............

When I was young I would bend over backwards if my brother needed something ( maybe this was for acceptance - nurturing??? ) this was rare but I have spent hours fixing his computer or waxing his furnature. I have never asked him for anything.

Anyway........my dad got banned from practicing last september..........he lost his job.....realised he has virtually no money............and his health is going downhill fast. I have supported him emotionally, washed his dishes, scrubbed his toilet, mopped his floors, run his errands........ I do not expect reward or accolade for this......... I am glad to finally be able to effect my values.......

So........... My father had to be hospitalised............ I visit him on my Bicycle to take him underwear, and chat


my brother sends me a text message...... "So, hopefully things won't be that bad. Nopt sure there is much I can do from here ( interstate )....... let me know if you need anything"

I had no money, no food, cancelling medical appointments and going without medicine. I was not going to respond........ I thought, here we go.......more "I care" talk without action to follow it up. A few days later I thought....... Maybe he does wan't to help....... So I text him;

"I would apprieciate $400 if you are able to do that"....... Yes, the money was for me........to buy toilet paper for the house my father lives in........ to buy food my father eats......... to support the person who cares for my father...........

No reply, no money.........

I text him a week later.......

"I take that as a no, I kind of expected that. I hope you develop some presence and compassion as our father will need it in the coming months"

So, he calls me........."I just hadn't gotten round to it", "I'm happy with where i'm at", "Dad knows I'm here for him if he needs me", "I'm not going to give you money unless you tell me what it's for".......blah.....blah......blah.........

So, I tell him keep your money, but I hope your there for our Dad when he needs you....... He was talking over me........ Taking my observations about his insular existence and superficial "involvement" like I was aggressive.... ( blaming me ).........

I guess.......at the end of the day......he has the right to live as he sees fit......... I'm just kind of ****** that he offers to help then waits a week to "get around to it" or "ask for receipts".....


I guess he's in the boat with my Mum............. they see me as a leach who has chosen to rely on others.

I visited my Dad in hospital today. I discussed this with him. He also said to me "You must be self reliant with finances" No **** sherlock........ My core values have been that way for a very long time........It is his behaviour that has in part developed this reliance......and.........without being diagnosed..........I did not have the tools to be self reliant ( although I did for quite a few years ) I would inevitably fall back down again.....

So, even though I agree with my Dads statement, and I'm actually really happy he's taking this stance...........especially now i'm diagnosed, medicated and have tools.......

I did get a massive initial reaction of abandonment........lack of self worth........lack of maturity........etc. etc.

Funny thing is not so long ago he was criticising me for not asking for help??? I would try to take on and put up with isolation and poverty.......He would comment on how "I tried to live without" or "Rejected assistance"

So, essentially i'm happy........ I'm happy I expressed to my Brother how he has chosen to distance himself from his family and has tolerance issues............and his concern is largely superficial.........

I'm happy that my Father has chosen to "withdraw" alot of financial assitance to me.......yes.....i'm ****scared........what if I fall down in 6 months................who am I going to move in with? How am I going to stand on my own two feet so soon? etc. etc. But I know it's right.


There is a theme with me about overinvesting in others then getting it slammed in my face. Why is it necissary to be so selfish. I kind of get it................... then some days............. it just plain sucks.....
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  #38  
Old 06-08-13, 11:57 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

GirlB

So, tonight I went out for dinner and to see some stuff with girlB ( the one I met on a dating site.....I've been totally honest with her about my ADD and just needing to get out and work on communicating etc.).

She has initiated all contact with me ( as everyone in my life has ).... we have been to lunch 3 times before.......

So, for the first hour I did very well, light, playful, listening, asking questions..........

Subpoint: I did kind of have a wandering eye i'm embarrassed to say.....not the kind that says "hey maybe I should slip that girl over there my number"......more like "Geez........ i'm getting looks.......maybe I'm not as untouchable as I thought I was" ( ego! hehehe )

Anyway, as the night progressed over two more hours I talked more and more about me........sort of raced around with her following me.......not too bad but yeah......

Some good things were at the start I guided us......aka.....we were just standing there so I took some initiative and led the way but I think I got carried away with that...... Bad things were I really need to see a doctor about a gas problem!!! Hard holding a conversation when you have one megatonne in your colon!


ANYWAY.......the point of the post is.......... She wan'ts something more...


I kind of got a signal at the end of our last lunch......she went all quiet and starey......

So she gave me a bit of a hug tonight and I sort of leant in but didn't reciprocate at the time ( a little shocked / not sure what I wanted )

Then later in the night I asked her for a hug........we had a long hug and after she kind of looked at me ( aka Kiss Time )....... but I sort of looked away and differed....

The thing is........... i'm not sure what's motivating me right now........

a) I value her friendship ( rely on it actually, I don't initiate outings with anyone else)
b) I value her honesty and input ( recipricosity? )

1) I need nurture
2) I don't wan't to hurt her and i'm not sure what I really want
3) I have not been intimate in 8 months

Is there such a thing as a HugBuddy?

3) She has some mental issues of her own and I could potentially complicate that

Even if I throw caution to the wind...........I can live with the outcome but can she....and am I ready to lose her friendship?

Is she willing to maintain her friendship if physical activity does not eventuate........


Anyway....... That's the status..........


She was talking about cooking together next time.......so maybe we do that and afterwards I talk about this stuff...............
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  #39  
Old 06-10-13, 01:51 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

What Rocked My Boat

So...... I thought I should clarify and document in more detail what has rocked my boat and how. This should prove useful in targeting / managing these things moving forward.



1) The Ebb and Flow of Life

It's natural to have high speed and low speed times. Periods of high motivation / activity...... Days where your really happy and days where you feel crapola.

For us ADDers, were particularly vulnerable to these ups and downs.

Why? Because, due to our singular focus, inability to distinguish where emotions are coming from and tendency to let them influence our behavior, a simple thing like forgetting to drink some water can span out to effect many parts of our lives.

SOLUTION: Documenting Moods, Diet, Meds, Daily effectiveness scale then REVIEW this to see patterns

The more consistency, awareness and processing / control of mood, the less these waves will span out and the better tooled we are to target and accept why they are here and cope.



2) Too many ( large / not properly defined ) priorities

The above makes me kind of laugh/feel guilty, it's not exactly like i'm a Prime Minister, writing a thesis or a mother of 6 kids. The fact is, as indicated with my exchange with mrtone, is that I got a bit ahead of myself.

Starting to have successes led to;

-me adopting more areas, tools, blurry goals........
-increased emotional investment in outcomes / tasks
-overuse/underuse/improperuse of todo lists ( without enough consideration to a few achieveable progressive outcomes )
-neglecting downtime, rest, expansion, thinking tools

SOLUTION: Clarify, Target, Rest, Build on not over previous work

-Minimise amount of ongoing development activities
-Better recognise fusion, emotional unbalance and implement learned ACT/CBT tools
-Better GOAL monitoring, definition, recording, pacing and balance
-Refine todo lists, need to connect with goal systems and review systems
-Play, mentoring and support needs to be improved
-Figure out how to maintain, pause less critical priorities without totally dropping the ball on them
-Goals are important, but so is lots of other stuff........ document and lighten up to include other domains into daily activities




3) External Influences

-Work experience ( 1 week early mornings - alterations to routine )
-Not seeing kids / Sporadically helpful then abusive Ex
-Father unwell, needing help from me ( failing to draw boundaries )
-Financial stresses ( yes, not exactly external but i'll put it here )
-Physical fatigue bicycling long distances to work / hospital / studies
-Fusing with old thoughts and habits related to the above

SOLUTION:

-Better awareness when "new" or "external" demands are introduced
-Use thinking tools to level emotion, diffusion and proactive negotiation of responsibilities
-Improve communication, boundaries
-Develop "worksheet" so I can digest time, outcome, purpose etc. etc. when re-occuring or large requests are placed of me
-Pay better attention to exertion and diet + looking after my body



4) Self Management Deterioration

-All of the above leading to erosion of good routine, eating habits, sleeping habits, task focus, medicine regularity
-Failing to be consistent with thinking work

SOLUTION:

-Supplement calendar and todo lists with REGULAR thinking work, basic needs checklists, spreadsheets to record compliance with these things. Review of these records every couple of days to identify patterns and improvements.



5) Lack of clear goals

As indicated in point 2...... Priorities are being defined largely on an ad-hoc basis. While I do have goals, they are not defined clearly enough nor translated to THE MOST EFFECTIVE next actions in a way that best uses my time, energies and gives me what is most relevant in a linear fashion to progress to other things.

SOLUTION:

-Systems to define, document, prioritise and balance goals and subgoals then methods to work them into existing organisational tools and document progress and review.
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  #40  
Old 06-11-13, 06:50 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Yesterday I climbed a tree to rescue a neighbours cat.

It was an amazingly rewarding experience.

It gave me some insight into how to value who I am and what I have achieved. I'm gonna keep a folder of all the good things I've done and goals I've reached...and fill a space on my wall with visual reminders.
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  #41  
Old 06-11-13, 08:00 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

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Originally Posted by someothertime View Post
Yesterday I climbed a tree to rescue a neighbours cat.

It was an amazingly rewarding experience.

It gave me some insight into how to value who I am and what I have achieved. I'm gonna keep a folder of all the good things I've done and goals I've reached...and fill a space on my wall with visual reminders.
Keep a book. Write down one good thing every day. That good thing doesn't have to be spectacular - can just be that you made a healthy dinner or that you refrained from yelling at the cat.

Although remember the value of you is in who you are rather than what you have achieved.

This is something I was given in counselling. I had to write pages and pages of it until it felt true, "I no longer need the love and approval of others for I now love and approve of myself". This helped a lot and I believe it a lot more now than I did 10 years ago.
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  #42  
Old 06-21-13, 05:47 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

This diary has helped...........

a) Keep on track
b) Observe re-ocurring patterns
c) Me know ( clarify ) more about who I am...

Work

Despite meds......... as above 7 hours is a long time to concentrate...... The other day I made a mistake.....and while immediately I reasoned that this is how people learn.......everyone would have done this at some time etc. etc. The emotion kept coming back....... so more work with expansion......... asking for help........

The thing is, I knew what I was going to do was probably not right........but my impulsivity overcame my communication abilities..........

Work on escalation / collaboration...

Moving forward the strategy is to;
  • Look after my body
  • Notice when I am off task and take 2 minutes to clear myself, drink then find a co-worker and "assist" them
  • Notice when I'm trying too hard or "fusing" and slow down and observe.......... pace .......... enjoy



Looking after my body

Noticing when I am;
  • thirsty *** Actively working on this
  • tired
  • hungry
  • excited mind/lopping/fusing ( re-align, breathe, feel -> back to measured observance and committed action )

I have also been to the doctors this week to get something that has been bugging me for a very long time looked at and hopefully resolved.....



Re-engage in Behavioural Disputing / Social Activities

So, my therapist has informed me that what I deemed may have been narcissism is most likely stemming from high levels of Social Anxiety.

We discussed how from an early age I was not "confident" about who I was and how my inattentive/hyperfocussed mind would switch to observing others, trying to figure out what they were thinking..........

So now as an adult, in public situations I have this constant "be aware of others" mindset which is in need of immediate alteration.

The most efficient path to achieve this, armed with my existing tools, is to re-engage with social activities and outings at least once per fortnight, optimally once per week, as demands allow to;

-Work on being present
-Work on not trying / overthinking / excessive thinking / predicting ( others thoughts ) / black and white thinking / catastrophising ........
-Counteract my predisposition to catastrophising by catching these thoughts and flipping them 180degrees ( think of a totally positive alternate possibility )
-Develop identity / outlets / play abilities



My Good Things Book

As per the suggestion from Tudrose above........ Today I will make a good things book and EVERY DAY, write ONLY good things about me and what I have done...

HA! I have thought about sticking a small picture of the cat in the tree on my wall more than 20 times since it happened!!! Have I done it? Back to the tools MrSmotherTime
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  #43  
Old 07-11-13, 07:02 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

*Severely procrastinating getting back on the "change" bandwagon

*Brother came to visit my Dad in hospital... I kept it direct and blunt... He slowed down enough to make a meaningful contribution and I am grateful for his persistence in his communications with me at least. I told him about the diagnosis..... that he should be aware of his childrens behavior just in case. He said he is "undecided" whether he feels that ADHD is a valid condition or not... Not as bad as my Mum but close.... oh well.... Hiz Biz now..... He wanted to hug me when he left...... I had no such desire.... Awkward...

*Made picnic lunch today and relaxed with Girl2 in the park on a sunny day... Frantically cooked it last minute until 4am this morning... The ol' hyperfocus to the rescue or should say....old habits die hard

*Work is going ok...... I have some days where I am a bit verbal dihorrea-ish... trying too hard...

Practically though...... I'm less scattered and overwhelmed, so application is fairly good.......although i've been sneaking off for cigarettes every two hours......... neglecting hydration...... just lose focus .....

Two days a week for now which I guess is kind of good... Yet It's kind of killing me routine wise cause I have to wake at 4am....... Transitions are a *****... Yet to get paid....... Scared to tell people my needs... I have worked at it and it is getting better..... very slowly....

*Ex changed her mind about the kids being with me for the second week of the holidays. She entered into a bad mood and decided to impose some judgements and control upon me. Sad.

*So in a nutshell... Not much to see here...

-Just a need to slow down and get back on the horse....... Sleep, eat and drink properly would be a good start.......
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  #44  
Old 07-11-13, 05:17 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

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Originally Posted by someothertime View Post
Hey courier..... If you don't mind........Can you please elaborate on what you mean by mindset? Do you mean believing that one should "own" behaviour or doing so would be an excuse ( stigmas )? Or/and other stuff?
i'm not sure the differance between having an addictive nature and an absessive natute, i consider myself both. i had to use the illegal drug market for a few years, i took one or two drugs i am glad to say i quickly stopped, i dont like to be controlled by drugs, the thought that some of you guys have been taking drugs since you were kids, i think it has taken away your spirit, i prefer to live with my adhd than be pumped full of drugs. i dont do any drugs apart froim cannabis, no legal or illegal, i dont drink alcohol or smoke tabac, and i have never had an antibiotic. i cant help my mindset.
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  #45  
Old 07-11-13, 11:57 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Cheers Courier... I apprieciate all your info...
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