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  #61  
Old 09-11-13, 09:11 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Avoiding My Diary

Yup, after all the insight a progress I had, the meaningful advice, and the skattered posts over the last coupla months... I'm hesitant to keep posting with not much changing...


Got a Fine

I received a $300 fine for smoking on the platform from that security guard...sneaky bugger.... I'm disputing it on the grounds he's not fit to do his job and there was no signage...


Finally see my Psychologist tommorrow !!!

Because of my new job, I had to cancel the 5 appointments I had lined up with my Psychologist. Because she's uberpopular.... It was 3 months before I could get one with her again... I'm a little nervous actually... Because not much has changed....

Not sure if I'm "expecting" more coaching / tips..... or just a little guilty....

In any event it's a good thing!

Sleep all over the place

Two nights ago perfect 8 hours.
Last night wen't to sleep at good time BUT slept for 11 hours....
Tonight, go to sleep at same time... wake up 2 hours later..........

I missed class last Saturday cause I slept in

This has been happening heaps...... Waking up a few hours after going to bed. Mix of anxiety and getting back on the coffee.....


Daytripper

Keep going to the library... Tell myself it's for study but usually flick through untargeted stuff..... Day's pass by........ Getting maybe 1 - 2 productive hours or 2 x 30mins where I really do useful stuff.


Cleaning Habits Dropped

Still do my clothes..... as for routine with the rest of the stuff well...... Did I lose initiative / interest? Probably.........


Shared Living

Posted an AD for housemates who are accepting of odd people... Just to see what happens...


Work has got Funny

I'm getting weird vibes. See this is the thing where our highly attuned intuition can really play havoc with our feelings / anxiety. The last coupla shifts I get the feeling people are "distancing" or "harbouring negative judgement"...... I know, I know..... Predicting thoughts, rumination blah blah blah....... I am working on that..... But I know it is also true....

The boss who I never speak to yesterday calls me......

HIM: "I just want to see how things are going"
ME: "Great"
HIM: "Because you've only been working two days, we wan;t someone who can work 5 in the future"
ME: "That's what I said at the interview, that's what I've always wanted... But i'm only being given two days"
HIM: "Yes, we need someone who is wanting to work 5 days"

THAT IS WHAT I SAID AND HAVE ALWAYS SAID!!! ( There is something or someone playing games me thinks )...

Anyways..... See what happens....

I mean, everyone else get's their course paid for two days off per week PAID...

Me, I enrol part time so he has more staff, pay for my own course and equipment and then he wan;ts to second guess my commitment...... Something is odd here....


Watercolour

Went back to that art class for the second time.... Dabbled in a bit of water colour mixing Kinda cool how you can work on the tones and structures and objects materialise.... Alot like life as an ADDer me thinks


So, I am moving forward... albeit in a backwards way...

I know have two dedicated alarms in my bedroom...

-Mobile alarms don't make noise for some reason
-Don't trust Alarm one on it's own any more because last week it wasn't working for some reason
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Last edited by someothertime; 09-11-13 at 09:21 AM..
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  #62  
Old 09-11-13, 10:00 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

This stuff is always a work in progress. You will never "fix" ADHD, you will only ever learn to live with it. One day at a time, every day is a new day.

Some days you will manage it better than others, and that's fine. Don't let those negative narratives that you have worked so hard to overcome creep back into your life. Don't fixate on change or progress. Like you pointed out earlier, focus on self compassion.
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  #63  
Old 09-11-13, 10:01 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Thanks Ana, that means alot
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  #64  
Old 09-13-13, 07:16 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Well i've had two good night's of sleep

Employer CLarification

I posted about issues with my work "misinterpreting" some of my behaviours... I was getting signals that they felt I was perhaps unmotivated or maybe on drugs, who knows but whatever it was it was not right.

A champion

I did something good and enlisted my employment consultant to phone the boss and talk to them about when I get moved from "trial" to more permanent and my hours pick up... The main reason though was to reinforce to them that I love the work and am turning myself inside out to do the best I can.

We'll she came to the party. She talked to the boss and everything I had hoped for eventuated. She did tell him about my diagnosis, which seems to be a good thing as it has deconstructed alot of negative assumptions they have made about me.

So that front is looking a lot better.


Therapy

My appointment with my therapist went well. We touched on my inability to make decisions / choices and how that stagnates me. My inability to sense my needs both physical and mental and how that is also a key inhibitor.

I was skeptical about how much I'd retain, in future i'll talk notes and / or tape our sessions so that context and insight does not evaporate the next day.

I saw them after a full on day and only 2 hours sleep. So they saw a side of me that was a little "raw" shall we say. Energetic, impulsive, verbose. I'm actually a little ashamed of how "casual" I treated the dialogue...

But all in all...... two good things....
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  #65  
Old 09-16-13, 04:35 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Oh No! The give in loop is back! - Wanting to get away from work

Now, I don't know what the key initiators of this are... but today at work MrImBored/FedUp/Disinterested/CantApply self talk came back. I know this voice well. Although, this time i'm armed with a bit more awareness or at least patience and distancing tools to help alleviate or decipher the cause. Now, sure i've had some poor days at this job where I can't focus... feel a little "weak" at doing the work, but i've always liked being there.

So I think i've been there for around 12 weeks. Now I've posted in the past about the staff being amazing people... and they are...

Possible causes;

-The learning / intellectual side is fading ( I still have to learn but it's not so much or "emphasised" on a day to day basis - Yes, I know, I can deal with this alot in my approach which is something i'll look at doing

-Mood ( Lifestyle ) - While it hasn't been rosey, I'm not exactly burn't out. I've slept fairly well, Excercising, Took meds and certainly felt "energised" from a switched on point of view, drank heaps of water today, ate....

-Mood - People... Now I think this is jumping out... That drama last week about the boss asking the simple question if I'm up for more days ( phrased a little like an ultimatum ) I believe has revived MrGetOutofHere this doesn;t interest me ( aka, MrWithdrawl ). EDIT: I guess I need to expand this point a bit. So, looking at this from a third person perspective, you could say that "perceptions" of others perceptions of me has triggered my coping mechanism of withdrawl... Funny how that manifests in feeling **** about performing a repetitive task!


Even in the morning, I could feel fairly crap, and I even reminded myself about something I read in "The Disorganised Mind" on the weekend about being prepared for off days and going into "CruiseControl" / being super "slow", taking it easy, not really getting attached too much to anything. Now I did this a bit, with communication...

But doing the work... After two hours... MrIsThisReallyWhatIWantToBeDoing started firing up...

Now I kind of know that I need to go back to my lifestyle / presentness / detachment / making it fun & light and just play this out, wait for clarity... Use this as an opportunity to learn more about myself...

I felt it had to go in the diary tho'
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  #66  
Old 09-17-13, 07:34 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer



I get by with a little help from my friends
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Old 09-18-13, 03:05 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

imagine living for this moment, not the one just past, this one right now, I cant see past now, so if its ok now everything in my whole life if fine and surely the future has to be, when the now aint so good I don't really care about much and just stop thinking, shut it all down lol I wish.
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  #68  
Old 09-19-13, 12:27 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Well, you... sound like me! The same rumination, over thinking, difficulty with social interaction, going for things 600% and then burning out, irregular body-schedule, the lot (except the abusive partner)! (Although I am not yet diagnosed, working on it...)

As far as healthy living goes, try woking (wokking? well, cooking with a wok). At least over here, I can buy a 1 person vegetable pack, pre-cut but fresh, for about 1 euro, add to that a bumbu (wet spice mix, I make them myself, but available at the grocery store for about 1 euro as well) and you have a tasty and healthy meal. This can get a bit boring, but if you want, I can spit out many more easy recipes that take no skill and are cheap, healthy and quick.

For exercise, I used to do rock climbing and loved it. It gives me the adrenaline rush to allow for decent functioning, it's never boring and you have a climbing buddy (whom you trust with your life, so you get to like them a lot). Also, many people over there are quite ADDish for some strange reason. Finally, it is social in a pleasant way as you can be alone if you want, but because of the buddy system it can also be highly social.

With regards to quitting smoking... I have a somewhat unorthodox tip: Snus. It's a swedish chewing tobacco (although one doesn't chew it) that is much, much, much healthier than actually smoking (according to some research a lifetime of snus use is equivalent in risk to one month of smoking). Using it, I managed to quit smoking for a whole month, although insane stress made an end to that. Additionally, there are nicotine free kinds so quitting the nic is easier in the end. Finally, it is also much cheaper.

I could say so many more things... but I will not, because I feel I am starting to ramble.
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  #69  
Old 09-19-13, 03:47 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

I am a teacher who has been on adderal most of my teaching career. I cannot seem to get on it while in Seattle WA. Any suggestions
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Old 09-19-13, 07:04 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Tinuz, you can ramble as much as you like , I value all input observations and experiences...

Kevin, I'm not sure I understand you question 're: getting on it"....
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Old 09-19-13, 09:48 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin71 View Post
I am a teacher who has been on adderal most of my teaching career. I cannot seem to get on it while in Seattle WA. Any suggestions
Do you have a formal diagnosis? Who did you used to see and who are you seeing currently?
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Old 09-23-13, 04:39 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

  • Posting a lot of half focussed comments
  • True recognition for Tinuz
  • Went out on social walk
  • Still ruminating / predicting ( Broken Record )
  • The EX came for stuff agin ( and my dad just handed it over )


Posting Frenzy - Apologies

Let me start with an apology... I think i've been a little verbose on here of late... Too much advise... I don't know, I'm just sensing that i'm over responding or something... and perhaps not giving the appropriate level of thought and control to my posts that i'm capable of.

I am using the forums as a distraction and companionship. Not entirely bad yet at times inhibiting other areas.


Acknowledging Tinuz Suggestions

You deserved a more thorough thanks and attention. You suggested I use a wok, which makes cooking fast and healthy. I used to do asian alot over 5 years ago, and it's time to get back to it so... I will do just that!

You suggested rick climbing, and honestly I've been looking at that for quite some time.... Yet not having a partner deterred me... In the next fortnight I will attend a rick climbing group. This also has the benefit that I do have a fear of heights so it will allow me to dispute that and do more work on the minds "exceptions"...

I will look into that Snus tonight. It's a suggestion that's new to me and the way you describe it it does sound potentially very useful. Gotta look into it a little more though... See if I can get it here... Other peoples experiences....Risks......( lol ) etc..

Thanks Again.


Another Social Event

Went for a group Bushwalk on Sunday. Got some CBT practice as it seems there were a few females/males there that had no interest in even communicating with me. Purely on a common light talk kinda way. In the past I would have "blamed" them, they are "judging me"... Which may well be the case... I see it more now like a general driven NT trait... and it got close to frustrating me but something inside kept saying stop... In now way should you get mad about this...

When I arrived I went up to 2 or 3 people and said hello. They were on the edges... but yeah... Something that is becoming easier and easier... Actually I wonder if it is almost too easy for me now... and I'm just repeating something I know I can do.

Ended up hanging around two, shy but funny people and having a fairly good day.

Normally I would dissappear ( for a cigarette! probably or from fear of "group / unstructured activities" ) when the event was finished but they invited me to a pub/bar and I initially said no but went down there.

They were sitting in groups at tables inside. I did not want to hang on the perimiter looking awkward or try to do the noddy noddy things + it was hot in there ( uncomfortable ) so I just got my drink and went and chilled on my own... This was not all bad.

I kind of felt good ( a small part of me ) that I felt "OK" to just sit on my own... and relax...

So yeah, glad I did something and saw something new... But this is becoming almost too easy ( not really growing socially )... Not negative..... Just staying as it is....

In any event it was worthwhile.


Still quite Unbalanced

Yet to truly get back to the meditation / calmer state... It's frustrating me how aware of this I am for a few 30 min periods each day, yet I don't actively apply the tool.

It's affecting me... Ruminating about people at work... Things not going my way... Not stating my needs and feelings clearly to those that need to hear them.


EX coming for stuff

So my Dad says to me this morning that my Ex came asking for something from the backyard. I know 100% she would have just came in and taken it if nobody was home...

Yet, Dad was so she asked him to come in... He tried to somewhat comply with my requests to not let her in. I have asked him to redirect her queries to me.

What does he do.... He said she got argumentative.... So he positively reinforced that by going out the back and getting it for her

I told him i'm putting a lock on my door. Which I am doing today... That i've done my best to maintain trust in people but I cannot be sure my boundaries will be respected...

When I confronted him about handing over an item he did not know who it belonged to he said it was kind??? Personally, I believe it was more lazy...
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  #73  
Old 09-26-13, 12:46 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Missed work today cause I slept in, which could be for a myriad of reasons and influences... Why does our emotional and practical landcape have to be so god damn cyptic...

So I think great, I'm going to the doctors to finally address several thing that have been holding me back and poorly managed...

Now I need to get this form filled... Bloody paperwork drives me insane... I'm getting pressure put on me to work more but my body has issues that make me think I shouldn't rush ahead with that.

So, I need this form filled to see an occupational physiologist to help with some back and hip issues... I also need to see a nutritionist...

I took this for in two months ago... Since then I''ve had to go back 3 Times on each occasion it's been delayed...

Today I spat the dummy, my doctor went home because he wasnt well, then the one I saw next is a real Nazi, last time sue gave me a 1 hour lecture about how adhd is sepf imposed, I'm proud of myself, because I said to her she is not suitable... After initaially trying to clearly explain my needs...

The next lady ( after 3 hours wait by the way ) says she can't fill the form...

I snapped, not in an abusive way bit frustratedly tried to explain how hard it is for me to fir take action on these things then sit in a waiting room, and it's been 3 appointments to much to get this silly thing filled... She could have filled it but chose not to. I called her on this and she essentially agreed then tried to play symantics.

If there was a paperwork outsourcing service I'd happily pay 100 per form!

Anyway, apart from great discomfort at work and being negatively judged because of bodily niggles... There has not been a great adverse out come so I'll just have to jot this down as what can happen, try in future to find work aroinds for those waiting rooms and wait and see if things get sorted next week...


While experience sure highlighted stressors tho...
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  #74  
Old 09-27-13, 05:06 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

My dad has been giving money to my kids because they phone him and ask... THey are using him and it also provides them with less reason to contact me. He also overpaid $2000 for a second hand car last week.

He gave my Son $800 for a "phone" for his birthday... my son then spent this on "clothes"...
He then leaves $50 for my daughter in the letterbox...!

He has no idea... I'm immensley frustrated that i'm either not finding the right words or tone or whatever... he passes it off as me and my problem... I cannot talk back in a constructive way to make my point and even if I did he does not respect it.

I have spoken to him on many times regarding this and he has at times agreed to respect my wishes then he turns around and passes this action off as "generosity" and that the Koran says he has to do it.

The truth is he is a pushover and he uses money as a language.

When I confronted him this time he tried to tell me i'm being selfish. If they respected him and called him / spent time with him perhaps I could respect his point. However he is just promoting their superficiality and interfering with my responsibilities.

Not good. I am so mad about this I just have to withdraw. I cannot change his behavior and he is insistent on interfering in my life. He believes this is positive and cannot see how big an impact his actions have. Despite repeated attempts to express my views in many tones and formats.

I have to create distance... I see no other way that he will learn. I missed work yesterday... I was up the night before, typing a letter for him and doing shopping for him. I will talk to him a little... but I will not hold his hand and do these little things while he does not make serious efforts to learn/try for himself or yeild in the interest of compassion and trust.
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  #75  
Old 09-27-13, 05:44 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Does your father have ADHD?
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