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  #106  
Old 11-29-13, 05:22 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

just make sure that they know yšu're always there for them.
My friend's mom really "poisoned" her and her brother against their father. And, he was not 100% responsible for their divorce. my friend finally reunited with her father this year. He never knew that his exwife had literally "forbidden" her children (young adults) to see him. Years and years of misunderstandings...
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  #107  
Old 11-29-13, 11:01 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

someother

Quote:
Kind of makes me re-assess my take with them. I'm recycling agin, but I think a few pages back I got some good advice ( maybe from Sarah? ) about just having fun with them in order to build "connection" and letting go of the whole "history" and "father" type needs...
Bf my daughter got brainwashed completely, or subrogated to a totally dependent arrangement, not so long ago though she would be hard pressed to remember, we took a couple trips together, while the family was still together, when I still almost had everything going for me., and as long as I sort of believed this, I was attractive, and she wanted the connection, but when I fell to the debit column, when I was really trying to be a good father, I stopped being attractive. Kind of like trying to be spontaneous.

There's an expression in the village, that a true rooster doesn't have to advertise. When I really try to convince myself I should be someone, play some role in the good man project, it just looks like I am playing some role. In the long run the only thing that will be of any help, is trying to piece together a life again, building just enough connections to really be attractive, and then she can decide for herself. It would be nice for me to meet up with her, but I have never been one to pressure, manipulate, etc. And I can want these meetups, ironically though they cannot quite happen because I want them., because I cannot make anything happen. I can only live in harmony with this fundamental truth, To be honest, I still have work to do here.
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  #108  
Old 12-03-13, 08:39 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Direction

So, some of you might have seen my thread asking for input in terms of work direction. Losing the job brought about a need to re-assess direction and my psychologist also requested that I look into it... ( no doubt because it one of the most "important" areas I need to be "sorting out"...

I met with my Psychologist yesterday. Being the one of the only people who really "gets" me... they listened to what I had to say about direction... steered me towards some next steps...


We discussed again how in the last job / face to face... People have no idea of my "limitations" or differences...

-The people where I study felt I was totally "capable"... dispite asking for help 3 times
-The person supposedly helping me look for work shifting everything back on me


We talked about coping with this... being more proactive in telling people;

-I may come across lots of things and it's mostly shyness ( nice word for anxiety )...
-I come across as more capable than I am in terms of work and study... Highlight where I'm not so capable



I talked cycles... How function varies... and by the time I realise i'm heading for a low patch it's often too late...

They offered to write me a letter for organisations that supports this.... Which I was touched by.... when I tell people they don't believe me...

I'm not seen as anxious... And when things are going good... I'm not.... Just soft....

The spontaneity of the ADHD mixed with socio-chamelionistic babble seems to fool almost everyone... and when it doesn't... It's easy for them to pidgeon hole me as angry or intense or something...

Anyway....

-Say these things to school and the employment lady and see what happens...


Here is the funny thing..... When I saw my Psychologist, I was in one of the best moods I've been in for months......... Funny, sincere, responsive, relaxed......

Why? I rode my bike 2 hours to the appointment... + I hadn't slept...



I've cried in the last few appointments... Out of repressed hurt.... Out of gratefulness...


Court tommorrow... This is gonna be an interesting chance to experience the justice system first hand... I hope I get the opportunity to put forward all the facts...
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  #109  
Old 12-03-13, 02:07 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Quote:
So, some of you might have seen my URL="http://addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154113"]thread[/url] asking for input in terms of work direction. Losing the job brought about a need to re-assess direction and my psychologist also requested that I look into it... ( no doubt because it one of the most "important" areas I need to be "sorting out"...

I met with my Psychologist yesterday. Being the one of the only people who really "gets" me... they listened to what I had to say about direction... steered me towards some next steps... We discussed again how in the last job / face to face... People have no idea of my "limitations" or differences...
On directions and limitations. My first reaction to this, I don't know and usually I rely on denial, energy, and don't tell them. I think it's great you have someone who "gets it" and you can work together with. This is a huge step forward from my life experience and situation where I have to figure it out alone. As to directions, I sort of think I could figure it out if someone asked me the right questions. But the sustantive material has to overlap with the relationship quality. Like these two seemingly conflicting premises, supervision and then self-starting, sometimes a schedule and also an open book, and these seemingly contrary notions have to "dance together" for me to do the tasks, get the job done.

On limitations, lots of SLBs, whatever happens, don't let them know ie that I have problems with follow thru, doing what I am supposed to. They usu figure it out anyway, put up w me as long as I am kind of attractive and am sometimes perfunctory. Denial still exists in my ADD life, particularly relationships and work, but also I am a bit leary about advertising this, all the stuff I hear even from the mind gurus, I've made it up, it's just bad habits all that crap, and then I start explaining myself, and that's kind of self-destructive.

Maybe the way out is to see this as differences, that I approach tasks differently, deadlines differently, and insteading of explaining what I can't do, rather what I do, that's really positive and can help out an employer. But on a daily basis there are all these differences in me that grate with the realities that other people live by. i.e. as soon as I have to follow all these rules, or the boss is prone to authortarian thinking or the system is hierarchically complex (ie schools, gov offices) problems start arising. How do I design my life to get around this difference? it's kind of like a physical impairment, but bc I have all these compensating behaviors I don't see this and others don't until they do, and often I still don't (my Op Sys, says fit in)

Quote:
-The people where I study felt I was totally "capable"... dispite asking for help 3 times The person supposedly helping me look for work shifting everything back on me We talked about coping with this... being more proactive in telling people;

I may come across lots of things and it's mostly shyness ( nice word for anxiety )...I come across as more capable than I am in terms of work and study... Highlight where I'm not so capable

I talked cycles... How function varies... and by the time I realise i'm heading for a low patch it's often too late...
Yeah I call this the train wreck destiny. I guessing that you can learn to recognize you needs betterin real time if the relationship is non-stressful, and react in better ways yourself. This is selfcare, meditation, maybe DBT like therapy, and a good ADD counselor. But I am guessing.

Quote:
They offered to write me a letter for organisations that supports this.... Which I was touched by.... when I tell people they don't believe me...

I'm not seen as anxious... And when things are going good... I'm not.... Just soft.... The spontaneity of the ADHD mixed with socio-chamelionistic babble seems to fool almost everyone... and when it doesn't... It's easy for them to pidgeon hole me as angry or intense or something ...
Yeah, I'm too much of a cowboy or non team player. The Arabian horse kicks in, fear etc.,

Quote:
Say these things to school and the employment lady and see what happens.
Yes continue to make my questions to help gurus, open ended and also specific. Look for allies. Yeah, here's an area I could really make some changes in, asking for help, not like fix my life, but you know I have trouble keeping track of assignments, can you write this out for me in a spreadsheet? Really basic stuff.

Quote:
Here is the funny thing..... When I saw my Psychologist, I was in one of the best moods I've been in for months......... Funny, sincere, responsive, relaxed......why? I rode my bike 2 hours to the appointment... + I hadn't slept...
Yes physical exercise helps, and being tired takes away my intensity.


Quote:
I've cried in the last few appointments... Out of repressed hurt.... Out of gratefulness...
Hard for me to really feel compassionate, I like the idea though. When people really help with something simple, like pointing me in the right direction, when I haven't paid attention to what they were saying in the first place, that makes me teary eyed.
Quote:
Court tommorrow... This is gonna be an interesting chance to experience the justice system first hand... I hope I get the opportunity to put forward all the facts
Courts are usually theatrical, and the play is always different than what we think it will be. But you'll be fine, you'll do OK.
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  #110  
Old 12-03-13, 11:28 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Here is a female trait for ya... Ain't nothin to do with no condition neither...

Common ******* sense...

I loooooooooooooooooove female judges!!!

Praise society for eeo...

To all the ladies in power who ain't lost touch with your c9nmon sense

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  #111  
Old 12-16-13, 07:46 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

My BiPolar Friend

Yesterday, I visited my friend in the psychiatric ward. She took a turn for the worse... and was placed under care.

She is doing ok now... The last time I saw her... she was in a manic state... all of her family were calling and trying to get her to go to the hospital. I kept her company... and tried to be the friend who is not all "doctor talk"...

It's nice that she has so many people looking out for her. She compaints that that's all they do... and I can understand how the line between condescending and caring is a hard line to guage.

The other people in the ward were also quite calm... maybe she's been placed with people at a similar stage to her. On the outside... I was struck by the facility... Like a ghost town of the forgotten... I think this is where my mom works...

So we held hands and chatted... it was nice, then mealtime came and I had to leave. Despite her situation she was genuinely interested in my wellbeing. I found that a little embarrassing.


The Work Stuff

I met with the new employment agency and the manager who interviewed me was nice... she listened to what i'd done in the past... my take on the whole shebang at the last agency and job... and a brief discussion on the future... I have a few weeks over christmas to give some more thought to that.


Christmas

I'm thinking of heading into the bush for a week or so... or down the coast to a remote town. Seriously not looking forward to the isolation and "fauxbenice" from the people I don't hear from for the rest of the year.

I doubt i'll be getting any gifts for anyone. Maybe something small for my Dad... and two small things or cards for the kids in case they come by.
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  #112  
Old 12-24-13, 03:48 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Hi all thort you all shud no what we turn out like when we older I have had ADHD since I was a Kidd done got in trubell with the police loads and kicked out of school like you all say doing things that nomel Kidd's don't do like really bad things I'm not going to get into it lol you will all have a shock when there get to aduld HUDd my brains liked a suped up racing car the stuff I want to learn I learn faster than all of you put togter and the bits I don't want to lean like spelling I lean slow I have been an after for BBC TV and then a head chef then a welder/fabricator reading technical drawings and I can't read lol the thing is I never tuck no tablets and now I need help as I start some things and power blast them and then take ages till I can power blast some more I made this website ultras iPhonecase learns my selfvhow to do all that and then fond out to get top of Google I had to learn seo so I learns it in one day and so ed my website the same day then I thort Thats enuff for now lol I haven't been on it to do eny thing for ages I needed to make the website as I keep getting mint jobs and getting sacked all the time for having days off or kicking off when I can't get my own way at work enuffs enuffs I have been looking at NASA new tecnollogy its called biofeedback it works like you play computer games and you were a hat with brain sencers on and you control the game with your mind /controller what it dose is it teaches ya how to work the part of your brain that's not working proply its ment to cuer ADHD check it out if you need to want to no how to stop your child from been mentel get them an aduld friend like best mates stile I had I helping teacher for some lkessions and when I got on the tables at school and singing and dancing he wud just say nicely to stop and coz it was him saying it I did all teachers That was proper nice to me I was to them 3 teachers out of the school that lol

Thort you will all like to no ADHD adults are really good on computers like programming get your child a raspberry pi it has software on the to tech computer programming 100k a year job I wish my mam got me the internet when I was I Kidd I wud be a a brain box on them I am now off just 7 years and I'm 30 I cud of learns at school if the rhit ppl were ther to give me the time and help and the teachers back then didn't no how to tech it so that doesn't help lol
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  #113  
Old 12-28-13, 11:32 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

The Dissappearing act that bluntly reveals

So, like many of you... this "festive" season makes me... well if it ain't depressed it's mighty close... how about starkly lonely...

I think that having limited success this year... kind of made it starker... cause being in a rut... then this...

I tried to avoid... I felt my EX would be around to rub it in... My Dad would be knocking at my door trying to be "seasonally" cheerful ( well he doesn't really do cheerful... just trying to talk to me I guess )... My Mother decided to do the regulation "Christmas Dinner" phone call... no thanks... not gonna play happy families this year mum... I love you... but this year I do not wish to come and avoid, one phone call a year? really?... The EX did come around with a pretense of me seeing my kids... I told her I don't wan't to deal with her. That if the kids wish to see me they should be encouraged to contact me direct. It's not resentment... well not primarily... there is ALWAYS a hidden agenda with her... And even if there isn't i'm not in a place right now where I want to deal with her methods...

I was very fortunate to be welcomed into a spiritual community... I emailed them in desperation and to be honest... I wish I had ran away and joined them when I was 16. My plan was to stay there for two weeks and help them build, connect, learn sustainability, learn meditation... overcome some inhibitions...

They meditate as the sun rises and sets... sit together for meals ( quietly ^^ )... in the evening they join in song and hugs and dance... People have tasks in the community... Washing... cooking... gardening... The toilets do not flush... All in all... how do I put this... I was at home... The only truly difficult thing was the RAW openess of heart... dancing... I battled my daemons... and made progress... What a revelation that amongst such a loving bunch... the barriers hold their ground... although the sledge hammer swings a little more feely

To the people I met... thankyou. I'm sorry I only lasted 24 hours... But I learn't much in that time... No coffee and nicotene for 24 hours started to seriously waver my psyche and I just could not give you the clarity that was expected of me.

What did I learn?

1) Not everyone in the world is closed...
2) Infinite things exist beyond your reality
3) Smoking really, really limits my social capactity to 3 hours or less
4) Permaculture practices
5) To be a little more relaxed amongst females ( strangers )
6) That I have huge walls surrounding my nature
7) Gratitude is not such an easy emotion... for me/us... I can value another... I can see uniqueness, wonder, value... but gratitude... is a very difficult/rare thing...
8) A few other things...

Maybe it was fate that I left early... because I got to have a....

Hug with my daughter

Well, a small benefit of my father opening his wallet on demand for my Ex and Kids... My daughter came to get money from my Dad. He has replaced the 800$ phone he got for her because she cracked it... now he's paying for her to go to Mlebourne...

ANyway... my Dad asked her to come inside and say hello to me...

She did that... I was cleaning the kitchen... I asked her for a hug...

We began crying...

I told her she is wonderful, to love herself... that I do not hold any grudges or anger from the past... and she should call me anytime... and that I am always here for her... and that I love her.....

I'm sure she has a lot of mixed emotions... some tough experiences as a teenager...

It was just nice to hug her... and finally say the important things without getting stuck on miniscule crapola...

Last edited by someothertime; 12-28-13 at 11:44 AM..
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  #114  
Old 01-08-14, 10:22 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Remorse

Tonight, I am overcome with feelings of remorse at how abrupt and defensive I have acted toward my father. I've had these feelings before... Maybe every two years or so the cycle of need, connection, then some sort of quasi perceived interference, judgement, lack of independance kicks in...

I think I've posted in the past about how his lack of respecting my wishes with my children created a friction point.... for the latest distancing... On top of that... I think part of it is me not being able to confront his deteriorating health... Some sort of pre-passing detachment... I don't know.....


Every once in a while this day to day stuff dissappears... and I see all that he has done for me... The reason I have a roof over my head is because of him... Money for treatment, schooling etc. etc...... unconditional love.......


On the one hand he has made very little judgement and always been there.... on the other I create a resentment because he was unable to demonstrate life skills....


But tonight it all vanishes..... I wan't to cry that I don't do more for him everyday.... that I don;t manifest this compassion and look above the walls that creep in and REMEMBER what he has done for me...




Quote:
"Dad... I'm sorry that I forget this stuff all the time... I'm sorry that my me'ness clouds all the ways I can show you my appreciation. I wish I did not rely on you... and I came so close last year to almost being able to sustain myself. I will try to do better to help you and support you no matter what choices you make..... as this is what you have done for me."
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Old 01-08-14, 11:17 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

thanks Someothertime, My GREAT I AM needs re-tunning also, all the way to getting rid of it. Its certainly done me more harm than good, see its right there . Its the harm Iv done others with my ego I should be worrying about, realization gives me more appreciation of the good things, people N stuff in my life. good thread
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  #116  
Old 01-24-14, 12:50 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

The Ecosystem Dancing around us...

So today I introduced an old toothbrush to the deepest darkest crevices of my shower recesses.

35 years... This whole bacterio-fungal community stared up at me and apart from the bi-annual glance at a dark strip between two tiles... I was fairly oblivious to it's presence.

So, I guess I relied on others to keep these creatures of distant corners in check. As it's taken care of by others it never grew to a size that prompted action or attention from me. Maybe that's fine... Maybe letting these communities gain some dominance of the grout would cause no harm... and blasting them at the first sign of discoloration is overkill...

Discovering a whole world beneath my toes... pondering how many months it took to get here... Wondering why others notice it much earlier...


Now... where did I put that toothbrush



I've done lots! or have I?

I spent a while trying to conjur memories of great things i've done...

-I've been a teacher for 6 years
-I rode a bicycle like a madman in the CBD for 12 months and survived
-I moved to a new town and was self sufficent for 12 months

etc. etc. etc.

The thing is... all these memories... I remember... it was me... I know it was me...

Why then... can't I believe it... impostor syndrome? All these memories, vivid visually... yet emotionally there is some sort of detachment... Like I lived out a dream for that time... and I'm back as myself now... almost disbelief that I did those things...

Who was I then?
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Old 01-31-14, 08:43 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Looping Tracks_______________

Well, i'll spare you the details, 3 months looping tracks;
-Anxiety/Worthy tracks ( ol' picture of self somehow took up squat in my outlook / self-view )
-Avoidance tracks... running to parks, beach, shops... playing on little projects, clicking refresh, each day a carbon copy... run... run... run.... return.... mini buzz..... overtire..... rinse and repeat.... no goals ( self worthy ones ) some sort of odd guise of productive housekeeping that neverends...
This is no plea... it just has to go on the record...
Note to self... some... your thoughts are not you... what happened to your goals... you let yourself get scared? you let those ol tracks put themselves back on repeat? Why? Cause you you couldn't follow some linear curve to change? You forgot to take stock... you forgot to pace yourself, you forgot to forgive yourself... you got mixed up in emotion... Things were working and you hopped on the merry go round then vomited...
2 rides then home then bed some... and please... implement some strategies to see what is happening... Sticking your head inside a speaker is fun for .5 seconds... Some, a change in direction is exactly that... not failure... go back to the start... try again...


My son speaks

Text message from the boy... took 10 seconds to really know what it was... "From: yourson"... looks at it... ok..... looks again... hey..... again, waits 5 seconds... gee... it's been 5 months... um.... wow... take a read some... probs some off the cuff phrase or event that lil confident dude was known for...


opens message.....
Quote:
Hi Dad, It's [son'sname].... Im not too sure if you want to talk to me at the moment but I have decided to apologize . For what I did to hurt you , Im sorry Dad , Im also sorry for how long it has taken me to do this .
Me: Its great to hear from you. hoping your well

Quote:
Im sorry dad
Me: Son... you've been through alot... be kind to yourself!

Quote:
It's you I should have been kind to dad , I have grown up now , I feel as if I grown a sense of maturity now .
Part of me wants to have a big deep conversation about what's been going on in his head and what was in mine... I have to try and resist going there... So, finally it seems like I might have a foot back in... I'll maintain contact... a few more messages and maybe hope to meetup with him to find out about his life...

Give him a chance to talk. I'm a bit shattered about what he has really been through... funny how everything up until now has been total mind block... had no say... much pain... was all relevant to me... Now he reaches out... all of a sudden my psyche... switches perspective... and I see his world.... sad... but true... Here's hoping....


Back to study

For two months i've been dreading a return to study, forgotten stuff, other students distancing themselves from me... teacher "treading softly" with me once he found out I am a little ....

So I walk into the college... something magic happens... it's new... There is a spark... This place... 2 months ago was stagnant... I'd reached a stop sign... now it's calling to me... WTF... I spent two months entertaining thoughts about how i'd shut off...

Mr Reality throws me food... ? Odd... but true...


Struck by reality at the pdoc

So I go to the pdoc... I'm afraid he's gonna stop my meds cause I lost my job... and have been a bit stagnant for a month or two... I was really lucky... I didn't put it in my calendar and just managed to check the appt date the day before

Anyways... was pretty routine... how ya doin? what's the plan? need a script?... see ya in three months...

As i'm getting the script... I get overwhelmed by a feeling and it's not till i'm walking out of the office I realise what it is....

"I have a condition".... it's a raw realisation... similar to when I was first diagnosed but deeper... steadier... all this worry trying, trying...

some..... you have a condition.... you are NOT WEAK / DEFICIENT / IMPOSTOR / or other...

you need to accept this..... for what it is.... you...... work at it some.... work at it...... not in the insane way you have been........... your not gonna snap your fingers and change the world....

little things.... some..... softly.... kindly...... gently.......

Last edited by someothertime; 01-31-14 at 08:57 AM..
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  #118  
Old 02-06-14, 07:51 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Mr Principle,

While it's not entirely personal... i hope you will think twice next time about trying to get my son to confess to a false charge to make your job easier...

While my ex... gets oppositional up in here... there is a place deep inside me that has undergone many, many years of practice... to know how to find your intentions.

Yes, I hope my calling you out in front of the police taught you a lesson. Systemic bullying is not to be tolerated... and this accusational reactive style will not fly under my radar... i know what is going on here... and it's time to hold you sir to account.

And if you try to tell me that your impartial... I can smell a setup a mile away... so if i need to vent what really occured for the whole school to hear that you allow bullies to run the playground and racially taunt by son and his girlfriend ( and many others )... you find it acceptable that your teachers can watch this happen and take no action...

Cause right now, your staff, the police and anyone else within 50m of your office knows you've breached your duty of care... you make no sincere efforts to get to the root cause and assist these kids... Now everyone knows... You wish to punish the innocent, you fail to refer these youth for counselling services... You allow your staff to observe and not act? It's in your face now... I hope you feel powerful. But i'm guessing that red stain on your face tells another story.

You tried to pull a lazy *** get who ever was involved to cop your interpretation and go about your business like a hero... guess what... that will have to occur some other time...



So know... the ball sir, is in your court... my son has had legal advice... we will make no official statement... I hope your next move is more appropriate...

The kids sir... that's right... the kids...

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  #119  
Old 02-11-14, 02:55 AM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Offered a trial at a hardware store by my new "disability" employment officer... at first, i kind of squinted..... retail? We've had two interviews and we never discussed this... we talked about electronics... about working outdoors... 3 months without structure I say "hey, i will try"...

they know i have asthma, allergies and a half operational arm... so, she shunts me into this group.... talk of liason... asks about concerns... i bring up dust.... she talks of perspective...

so i went to two interviews.... best shirt, tie.... i did my best.... so today was the first day... i'm sent to stack shelves....

OUSIDE OF THIS JOB SHE HAS setup an appointment with a workplace movement therapist for my shoulder tommorrow SHE KNOWS I HAVE PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS .... how does she not liaise..... why does she interview me for 2 hours if all that info gets thrown out the window... i kicked *** today.... i served 6 customers.... massive store..... super helpful..... tidied a massive isle dust everywhere.... my hayfever breaks out and my shoulder starts hurting.... no liason.... she did not pass my disabilities to employer, they did not consult to ensure duties were safe... all my fault apparently according to her...

i tell the store that i did my best though at the moment the role is unsuitable... my eyes are itchy.....

i call her to inform her...... she criticises me.... didn't communicate..... should have stayed in the dusty environment for the rest of the day..... why didn't i do x, y and z.... you know, it's one thing to be criticised when you have no idea why you struggle... from this lady though, with a sniffly nose and sore shoulder... she says I didn't try?

i told her that she is not respecting the efforts i made... she was not respecting my full commitment... GOOD communication... and because I have to leave it seems to be my fault?

i have the emails i sent her... i have the ones she sent me.... speaking of which..... very shattered that this person who is supposed to support me feels it's ok to pass the buck and criticise

Quote:
Hi SO,

Sorry for the late email- how did everything go today at the induction?
Sarah has emailed me to say that you will be commencing training tomorrow from 9am. Can you please keep me updated with your training days and times.
You should be proud of how far you have come in this process- HARDWARESTORE is a great employer and this is a great opportunity for you to obtain employment. If you have any concerns about any of this please don’t hesitate to discuss with me.
Quote:
I have a few reservations... it was very hotin there, and noisy... a little claustrophobic... and dusty....

I will try my best but 8 hours to begin with in that environment is too much especially volunteering and riding my bike. So have to negotiate smaller hours...hoping that today was just over whelmed.
Quote:
Yes we can certainly negotiate fewer hours for you, your benchmark is 15hrs per week so we can work out your training hours in line with this. You should also receive a training allowance to supplement your time training, however the rate of this will depend on how many hours you are doing at Bunnings. Please discuss these hours with Sarah or your HARDWARESTORE supervisor today.
Unfortunately with the nature of HARDWARESTORE, the environment will be somewhat noisy and dusty due to being a warehouse. My only advice is to give it a fair go- there is never going to be a perfect job. This training and potential employment will be great on your resume and can help lead you to your longer term goals. Everyone has to start somewhere!
Good luck today.


Quote:
Thats exactly why I accepted... Katrina, given my limitations I believe I have done exactly that.
I am getting some eye irritation... how long should I continue?
Quote:
Hi, I have tried my best but its not fair to equate effort with physical limitation... I have done all that I can and my eyes are utchy hiw long di I have to continue to satisfty you?
Quote:
Hi SO,

What have you been doing at HARDWAREBUSINESS this morning? Have you discussed days/times of the training with your supervisor or Sarah as yet?
I am curious as to what you perceive your limitations to be- we reviewed this in your first appt and this Bunnings opportunity does not/should not present any concerns. Being that this training is organised with HARDWARESTORE through CRS, it allows us the flexibility of working the training around any limitations to enable you to complete the training to the best of your ability. If you do have concerns, I hope you would have discussed these further with myself, Sarah, or your Bunnings supervisor prior to commencing today.
Do you know what has caused your eye irritation?
Quote:
Katrina,

My limitations have been discussed with YOURDISABILITYEMPLYMENTAGENCY on several occasions. I gave this opportunity 100% despite it not being suitable based on our previous discussions... I gave it a shot. I actually did very very well. And all you wish to do is criticise? Then when I raise health concerns you brush over them? and say it's all attitude. Please, I've been told this my whole life... It's one thing to be not understood when the reasons are not clear. Though when I make every attempt to communicate my disabilities to a service that is supposed to be mindful of them... it is a true shame.


I have Asthma, Hayfever an injured shoulder and ADHD. I requested that we look into jobs that have an intellectual component. It dissappoints me that you cannot respect my disabilities and pressure me to stay onsite while under stress with itchy eyes and sinus issues. I communicated this to you on earlier occasion and you took no action. You did not ask about my wellbeing when I told you I was having physical problems today... this is really disappointing.


This heavy dust on the items within the store that I had to lift.


I hope when we next meet that you will show a little more respect for my disabilities.






Cheers,


SO
Hopefully her manager can see how harsh and ignorant she has been... i'll try talk to her tommorrow but i come across as so oppositional... it's not fair... Good to get it off my chest tho' and pails into insignificance when put in context of my own acknowledgement as some of the struggles of my ADDF family... THanks for letting me get this out

Last edited by someothertime; 02-11-14 at 03:12 AM..
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  #120  
Old 02-12-14, 09:26 PM
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Re: Turning my life around - A diary of a 35 year old new diagnosed ADDer

Met with the manager of the employment agency today...

Mixed results, his lawyerlike defensive questioning and absolute lack of empathy struck a nerve and despite my best efforts to stay objective and result orientated he drew me into an obviously emotional state..

It's all discussed here: http://www.addforums.com/forums/show...12#post1615912

Dude, look at what i'm saying not how I say it... Geez, the least you could do is acknowledge that i'm trying and your staff member MAY have treated me unfairly.

It seems that he percieved little of what I had to say and all of how I said it...

In the end I simply requested a new case manager because I had lost confidence in my current one and he could not commit to that and merely said he will refer it to the local manager...

No doubt it will occur. I left him with the suggestion he advises his staff to liaise better and make himself more approachable as it took three attempts before anyone offered to setup an appointment with him... "he's busy" was all I got.

Oh well, overall, i guess I made my point regardless of his reactions or future actions so long as I get a better case manager this will be good.

Big thankyou to Lyn at the disability employment line for caring and helping when lawyer like pokerfaces and total removal is all I could get on the ground


Aaaaaand on a positive note

My son moved back in yesterday


Last edited by someothertime; 02-12-14 at 09:41 PM..
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