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Men with ADD/ADHD This forum is for men to discuss issues related to being a man with AD/HD.

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  #31  
Old 01-22-07, 10:24 PM
_yep_ _yep_ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billtruran
I always thought of my diagnosis as: non-hyperactive ADD. Anyone who knew me before medication (like my wife of 27 years) would agree. I lived in the moment because I had no good memory of the past, or memory of plans I had made. I have never been depressed, but would occasionally burst out in anger. I tend to be defensive for no good reason (I'm working on that). I am in the process of relearning life, now that I have some peace and a memory.
One more thought... People who truly have ADD need to find careers that involve hands-on, creative talents with leadership possibilities. We have been created for these kinds of jobs. Sorry, truly ADD folk should never be engineers or accountants. The cube is a coffin that just might result in Alzheimer’s.
Hey, it's just a thought....
Bill
Re the first underlined sentence: YES YES!! Same with me! i hardly remember my childhood or high school or even last couple years. It sucks.

Re the second underlined sentence: I 1000% agree

Re the third underlined sentence: Sadly i am a senior in mechanical engineering And i am striving to have a test engineering focus, which means i can be out in a lab seeing data real time and being able to adjust parameters within the test, it would be very hands on. I dont think i could handle sitting in a cubicle writing mech engin code or just processing calculations. I have excellent troubleshooting and problem solving skills and test engineering is the only mech engin field i want to be in. MUST RESIST BEING DILBERT!

im sooooo happy i found other people with teh same add symptoms i have!
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  #32  
Old 02-07-07, 01:10 PM
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Another inattentive male, here. (At first glance I thought the thread was about men who forget to buy flowers, or who never talk about their feelings.)

If I had to generalize, I'd have to say that I perceive hyperactive types to have a (slightly) easier time than us space cadets, because

(A.) Sometimes they're able to turn their energy and "outside the box" thinking to their advantage in the workplace, and

(B.) They irritate the hell out of everyone when they're kids, so they are more likely to get early diagnosis and treatment.

When you don't get diagnosed until late in life (around age 44 for me) you accumulate far more losses and far more temptation to see yourself as "lazy, crazy or stupid."

However, maybe the grass looks greener from the hyperactive side of the fence too. Perhaps most of us would choose to keep our own problems even if we were given the opportunity to trade.
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  #33  
Old 02-07-07, 09:55 PM
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Yeah, me too. And a 'yeah me, too' to the comments regarding lack of motivation, social issues, isolation, and that it's something of a bummer getting diagnosed as an adult (mid 30s here) after a history of substantial personal and professional issues

This thread and another one or two raised the issue of a lack of energy. I started a thread over in the General ADD forum titled 'Low Energy'. There isn't that much written on this symptom that I've come across, if anything just the opposite. If this is the case for you I'd be interested to hear how this has been present for you and how it has responded, or not, to treatment. You can check out that thread for my own thoughts on it but I will also look here if you are inclined to hold forth on the subject in this thread.
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  #34  
Old 02-08-07, 03:44 AM
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Phred,

Totally agree on points a and b.

Isaiah,

(Mid thirties here too.)

I have mixed feeling on the whole "low energy" situation.

Looking back to when I was a kid/adolescent/teenager/young adult,I don't really remember having a lack of energy in the sense of being perpetually sluggish.I can remember being a bit fidgety in my seat in school sometimes,and other times starring off into space.I definately wasn't one of those kids who was constantly bouncing off the walls and getting into trouble all of the time though.

Now I seem to find myself drained much of the time,but I'm not sure if it's- A)the ADD
B)my age,or
C)the fact that I have been self medicating myself with alcohol(I love beer) ever increasingly as time goes on?

I have an appointment tomarrow with an "expert" shrink.As I understand it he's ADD also,and so takes a personal interest in his clients.Hopefully this will help me eliminate option "C".
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  #35  
Old 02-18-07, 12:38 AM
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agreed

Quote:
Originally Posted by SDspedTEACHER
I definately have inattentive type, as no matter how much sleep I get and how much I try to eat right; I never seem to have enough mental energy. When I am "forced" to do the lawn, wash the car, do house chores I muster up enough "phsyical" energy but mentally I feel as if in a daze while I'm doing it. It takes me two to three times as long as it should to accomplish these things.

There are times when I have the mental energy that feels "normal" but this lasts only for a day or so; and I get depressed because I know it wont last. It's like yes this is how I'm suppose to feel and yet I know something bad is going to happen and knock me right back down.

Other days I feel too much energy and my mind just races -yet goes nowhere! I have been like this for years, but my parents continued to tell me "well everyone is like that." I believed them for years...35 of them to be exact. Recently I broke down and went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me as ADD. When I told my parents about it; they still deny it and say the doctor doesn't know me well enough.
It's amazing how many people on this site are just like you and me but assume we are the only ones that could be like this.

I'm exactly how you stated "lacking mental energy". Once in awhile I experience what you consider "normal". It's maybe one day a week where everything is clicking, my mind is not racing, and feel like I can follow a conversation without much mental anguish.

Sadly most days despite taking medication, I just feel out of it and have to fight through heavy brain fog to concentrate. Thus wearing me down and no drive to do much of anything. I often sleep for way to many hours and feel I could literally sleep 24/7 if I didn't force my *** out of bed.
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  #36  
Old 02-22-07, 06:17 PM
erslyman2 erslyman2 is offline
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A familiar episode I've experienced as well.
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  #37  
Old 02-22-07, 09:34 PM
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Vette, thank God you saved us.
I was going to point out the fact, that on an "inattentive male" thread, it was missed. How ironic huh?
Okay, back to the discussion, if anyone paid attention to this post.
I have this inattention too, usually as soon as my wife opens her mouth.
Strangest thing you have ever seen....
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  #38  
Old 03-03-07, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris2
Well I talked to my dad about what I was like back in elementary school and what took place when I as moved to smaller class. So after 1st grade there was a meeting, were the school psychologist told my parents I had “non hyperactive ADD” which is now known as inattentive ADD. So on the my question, how rare is it that guys have inattentive ADD? Do all inattentives have it from childhood?

All articles I have seen always have a footnote somewhere that say “rare in males” or “mostly in girls”.

Also how bad is your energy drain from it, mine is moderate but can get pretty bad. Should this be considered depression or is it directly related to ADD. Note I have no sad feeling, that a depressed person would have.
ADD truly de-energises the afflictee, creating considerable susceptibility to fatigue.
ADD renders large parts of the frontal lobes inactive (leaving them physically under-developed).
Result ?
Insufficient volume of thought/s, lack of executive function/behavioural direction (aimlessness).
Not that I can make the comparison - but on paper, I'd prefer not to have the 'H' (which I don't).
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  #39  
Old 03-03-07, 01:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ADDitives
i nkow at least 4 inattentive males - and that's just the ones i can think of and know about
Is this, as opposed to ATTENTIVE males? They're in shortest supply of all!
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  #40  
Old 03-03-07, 01:45 PM
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[quote=scuro]This is personal opinion...but I think pure inattentive types(SCT) are sensitive and perceptive. I believe that we work well in the nurturing field and working with kids. I'd guess we also have a large population in the arts. We have personal insight into anxiety, failure, and what it's like to be out of the mainstream. We also can spend a great deal of time doing things that mean something to us.

I think this was very sensitive and perceptive of you to observe. I'm an inattentive woman, and you seem to have described my quiet, inward bent - I'm taking conscious steps to become more open, but it's a persona I put on with purpose, it's not the natural Me. And your other post about thinking things through before you talk, fits, too. My problem is, I think waaay too much. And I had a habit of not letting myself express anger( or sometimes even let myself feel it), for fear of upsetting people around me, but of course I would still THINK about how I felt, and eventually I DO say it, after I've chewed on it like the dog iwth a bone; by the time I say anything, it's too late. It can take me a long, long time, sometimes months or years, to even realize I'm angry about something that happened, and when I express it then it's completely out of the blue. I am trying to learn to think and feel faster, and speak up then or let it go. I AM getting better at it.

I really am benefitting from reading the male perspective on all this; I want to be the sort of wife and mom who gives her guys what they need, but sometimes my guys maybe don't even know, or can't verbalize it. My husband once was astonished when I was upset with him for something he said, and he said "But you should know I mean..." whatever he meant. I guess it's some kind of compliment, that he thinks I'm so understanding and all-knowing that he doesn't have to think about what comes out of his mouth? Poor guy, doesn't he know that I'm so pensive, I'm gonna think about it for yeeeeaaarrrrrsssss and then call him on it out of the blue!
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  #41  
Old 03-23-07, 07:02 AM
bhoward783 bhoward783 is offline
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I was diagnosed with ADD by a psychiatrist when I was 10 but never went on any meds for it. I won't get into the details of what I believe are symptoms of my "condition" as I'm sure you guys have heard it all. But this is sort of new to me as I've only come to acknowledge very recently that my diagnoses was probably correct. I guess some signs are the fact that I can't read books. I've probably reached the end of less than 10 novels in my life even though I've tried to read many times. However, I've started reading graphic novels and I love them. I feel like I work my *** off, but I'm constantly told by everyone I know, including bosses, that I have focus and attention problems. I work as a film/tv editor which I'm exceptionally good at because I love working with images and sounds. My big question is, do you guys think ADD is nothing more than a personality trait that many of us have and simply struggle with because the world around us is designed for the majority who don't have it? What are your thoughts?
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  #42  
Old 03-23-07, 02:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bhoward783
My big question is, do you guys think ADD is nothing more than a personality trait that many of us have and simply struggle with because the world around us is designed for the majority who don't have it? What are your thoughts?
I have wondered the same thing. I am 60 years old and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. My problems started with severe anixiety when my daughter was killed about 15 years ago by a drunk driver. I would wake up in the mornings with dry heaves. I started taking xanax which I still take which has been very helpful. Three years ago I was put on strattera (sp?), but I couldn't tolerate it. In 2005 I started taking 30mg of adderall xr each day. I have a problem with organizing a project and I must take pains to think through it several times before taking action. Many false starts. On weekends I start a project, become distracted, and go to another activity. At the end of the day nothing is accomplished. By the way I am a CPA and extroverted so accountants can work in with ADD if indeed that is what I have. Best of luck to all those on this site.
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  #43  
Old 03-24-07, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sterlingag
Wanted to share this article with everyone on the thread:

http://www.adda-sr.org/reading/Artic...nattentive.htm

It fits me very well. I'm sure that you all will see yourselves being described in it to.

Cheers!!!
Good grief !
That's easily the most insightful and descriptive site I've come across.
Wow, is all I can say.
A million thanks, dude.
It accounts for so much of my behaviour - particularly in my early life.
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  #44  
Old 04-02-07, 11:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bhoward783
My big question is, do you guys think ADD is nothing more than a personality trait that many of us have and simply struggle with because the world around us is designed for the majority who don't have it? What are your thoughts?
Most certainly the world is designed by the majority that don't have it.. That's somewhat like asking if the societies in which we live have been designed by the 85% of people that are right handed..

Is ADD simply a personality trait? Most certainly it is not. It's harder to correlate to something concrete so I won't try. Some people do exibit traits similar to ADD symptoms that they either don't know how to, want to, or care to resolve in order to fit the norms expected of the environment in which they wish to participate. There are others that want to but can't under their own will alone and this is where treatment usually comes in.

5 years ago I would have argued against what I just wrote above. I simply did not believe that ADD could be what it is. I was 32 before I sought help/diagnosis and am now taking 75mg of adderall a day. I wish I had been recognized as a child and treated as that would have made MANY things in life a lot easier.. I was fortunate though to work into a career where my "ability" to switch focus has been a real benefit. I am even willing to say that untreated ADD may have actually helped me to excel to where I am today. It also prevented me from moving through a ceiling that I could not move beyond without seeking help. That ceiling wasn't defined by other's rules but by the nature of the level of performance required to get where I wanted to be..


That's more like .04 worth but you did ask for thoughts...

--Mike
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  #45  
Old 04-18-07, 11:42 AM
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I lived in the moment because I had no good memory of the past, or memory of plans I had made. I have never been depressed, but would occasionally burst out in anger. I tend to be defensive for no good reason (I'm working on that). I am in the process of relearning life, now that I have some peace and a memory.
Guess I finally found a place for myself on here. I feel so out of place on the rest of this website. That I quoted above plus the exhaustion and analytical thinking and isolation and all that bullspit. This threads been fading fast..too bad there aren't more of us. Keep'n this short so I won't do too much word mulling after I post it, just wanted to say howdy and see how many of you guys are still around.
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