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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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Old 03-15-04, 07:16 PM
skagitgirl skagitgirl is offline
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Woman with ADD Just Diagnosed... freedom or hell?

Hi. I'm new here and so glad to have found this forum. Basically I was diagnosed with ADD in Feb after I started taking nutritional supplements to help with energy and mental focus. After taking the supplements I started to feel great. I had been on zoloft 50mg and that never worked. But since the supp. had 5-HPT a precursor to Serotonin I noticed a great improvement of overall sense of wellness.

Basically my non-add husband did not like these changes. Since I was starting to feel more self-confident and actually get projects done he thought the supp. were evil and had me see 10 mental health and md's in a 2 week period. All of which said these supp. Anyways out of this whole mess I found out I was ADD which I always suspected. Its funny.. when you suspect you don't even really know what ADD is until you read about it. I am so textbook its not even funny. My husband refuses to show my compassion or empathy. He keeps telling me that we should go back to the way we were. I told him that was hell for me. I did agree to go on Adderall which was a big mistake for me.

It made me really irritable, insomnia, and jittery. He said he rather me be like that than go on a herbal remedy. Anways now I feel very alone. He is very stable. I am very unpredictable.

I am seriously considering whether either of us will ever be happy in our marriage. Notice I didn't say divorce. I don't see how I can be happy with a partner who doesn't understand what I struggle with on a day to day basis. I have always struggled. I am so happy to know that I do officially have ADD. Its been very freeing.. however the consequences in my marriage has been like hell. I would love to dialogue with anyone who has been there done that.. or is currently experiencing something similar. I just don't want to be a caged bird anymore.. which is what I was before. I would let him make most of the decisions because it was easier that way. Now I want to make my own decisions and he can't understand. Sorry to Ramble.
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Old 03-15-04, 11:25 PM
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Rambling is OK here nobody is going to look down on your for that. Most of us ramble.

Welcome I hope you find the help and support you need here. My reply to your dilemma is under your other post.
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Old 03-16-04, 01:04 AM
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My husband has always been as supportive as possible. It's taken him years to get an idea of what it's really like for me. It's trialing on both partners. There are tons of books you have to pick up. and it is just as important for your husband to read them too. Driven to Distraction and Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embracing Disorganization at Home and in the Workplace are the first two. If he is able to attend your doctor visits, have him so.. and consider counseling.. Actually, my husband and I recommend counseling, individual and occassional couple, highly... especially with your new development. MDs don't necessarly schedule time to sit and chat with their patients.. if you have a lot of questions about being ADHD talk with a therapist/counselor. Good luck.

Remember.. you've always been ADHD, even the day you married your husband.. From what you've said, it sounds like he is very concerned about it, and is trying to look out for you.

what supplements have you been taking? what aspects have lead you to depression? How many doctors diagnosed you with ADHD? were you actually diagnosed with anything else? Sounds like your depression isn't any better.. I'd up the dosage on the zoloft.

take care.. I know how hard it can get. If you pick up one book, get the one on Women with ADHD.
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Old 03-16-04, 11:41 AM
skagitgirl skagitgirl is offline
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Thanks for your advice. We are in several types of counseling right now. I've been diagnosed with ADD by 5 different people. I understand I've always had this.. but with this has always been this sense I'm not good enough. Whats different now is that I know there are things I'm good at and I feel like I should be able to pursue these things and find areas that bring me joy. As for the supplements, I order them from a friend.
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Old 03-18-04, 04:26 PM
MRB MRB is offline
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S-girl -

I take supplements too b/c I have other health issues in my family line which contraindicate most ADD meds for me.

What got my attention the most was that you said that you're making your own decisions now. In my book, that's a good thing. If your husband has a problem with it, have you guys approached in counseling that it's his problem and not yours? (Not that I don't understand that in a relationship if one person has a problem it becomes a relationship problem; I guess I'm just a little troubled - although I've certainly seen it happen - that he's upset b/c you're functioning BETTER ... if it were me, I'd give some thought to how that relationship is working for ME ...)

Also, BTW, as far as diagnosis being freedom or hell... my experience is that it's been both. Freedom b/c I FINALLY FINALLY know what's wrong but hell both b/c lots of other people don't get it and b/c of the ENORMOUS amount of energy it seems necessary to expend to cope with it and to have a productive life - assuming that's what one wants ...
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Old 03-18-04, 09:35 PM
skagitgirl skagitgirl is offline
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thanks for your reply

I'm glad to see someone else uses alternative medicine. The supplements have also helped me with the depression. Zoloft did nothing for me. Adderall made me feel sick. I appreciate the input. Skagit
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