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  #46  
Old 05-28-09, 01:02 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

My Masturbation is causing my relationship/Marriage of 26 years to faultier..Is that the right word..Mind fantasy alone takes care of me.And I know that is very selfish and I struggle with that.I get satisfied to quick to last long enough to please her.Most of the years my sex was enhanced by stimulants..Thats why I can't get stimulants for my adhd..Straterra only...That sucks because I don't like street drugs any more..I may be a lost cause.And yes my testosterone is way low..I'm working on getting help for that but so far no luck from my Doctor.
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  #47  
Old 07-09-09, 04:54 PM
Clay888 Clay888 is offline
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Yes I have the same addiciton, I have just recently been diagnosed with Adult ADD and now find myself addicted to porn as well. However, I have always liked porn and thought it was just being male. I have always enjoyed masturbating since I discovered my dick at 12, but now that I am on Vyvanse it is like I am 12 again and find myself watching all kinds of porn, hetro, bi, and gay...it doesn't matter it all gets me going. I feel like i am a teenager again and need to bust a nut 2-3 times a day.
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  #48  
Old 07-17-09, 11:05 PM
damiencoold damiencoold is offline
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

it is really hard for ADDers like us to give up porn because it is an IMPOSSIBLE task ( at least for me) I ve been fighting this for years and im so frustrated. Plus, my country doesn't have any kind of supporting group for this addiction, so I think i have to accept a life with porn
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  #49  
Old 07-24-09, 03:03 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I recently got tested again for add, i was diagnosed as a kid after years of presenting the symptoms but like i stated in my introduction post many meds and treatments either didnt work or created more problems then the ones they solved.

Having just started on adderrall for the first time, (20 MG XR) every day, about 8-9 days in now, I realized that I began looking at internet porn for the first time in quite a while.

I was like looking for certain kinds, organizing it, etc. It was insane, I spent like 2-3 hours doing this and realized how obsessed I was getting.

Sex is great, my girlfriend and I enjoy a stimulating relationship not only through connectino through personality, and converstaion and interests, but the sex has been good for the most part throughout our almost full year relationship now.

However, I find that it has become almost routine, or even boring, maybe that with combination of medication created a desire to reach out for porn for the first time in a fewmonths, perhaps not.

Anyways, i noticed masterbation on adderall is crazy, I was awaiting ejaculation for almost 45 minutes at one point and almost stopped, is this due to the meds or what?

Generally I could achieve ejaculation around 10-25 minutes depending on sexual frustration, how much porn I had watched, or the way I masterbated.

I noticed sex is the same way, I had sex for the first time on adderral the other night, and it was not only awesome, but exhausting. Same thing as masterbatino only longer time frame gonna start a thread on this i think.

Any thoughts, suggestions?
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  #50  
Old 07-24-09, 11:13 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Yup, had the same problem a long time ago. Had a huge collection on my computer. Realized it was interfering with my life and then had to put a halt on it. In my opinion it is definitely an ADD/ADHD thing! Most people with ADD have addictive personality types. It is without a doubt in my opinion self-medication.

Here is how it works for me:

1) People with ADD tend to get both over-whelmed and bored (due to lack of stimulation) easily. This leads people with ADD to become unfocused and spaced out a good majority of the time. The mind begins to go off and wonders around and almost doesn't come back for at least a few hours.

2) You begin to feel unproductive, depressed, and just plain down, especially if you are single. Now, your completely spaced out as you don't know what to do to get out of this slump and as you lose even more of your focus the mind is wondering around and it will almost always run into a sexual thought. Sex is everywhere, and because you are spaced out and depressed due to the fact you are not getting anything done because you are space out (aka distracted) and the place is a mess, your late on assignments, etc. Then when those images pop into you head, the ADD brain then begins to feels better and switches to "hyper focus" mode. At this point you will not be able to do anything else or fully focus on anything else until you have settled the deed. After you have relived yourself, you will notice you regain your focus back onto the other things that you were doing. From there it is only a matter of time before you lose your focus again, and your brain starts to wonder back to the one thing that made it feel really good. In other words, it is a cycle.


Benefit of not watching porn:
Although I still slip up sometimes. I have mainly stopped and here is how I did it.

1) Had a couple of last times with it, then got rid of all my porn. If I had an emergency, I could always find something on one of the many internet websites.

2) Since the porn images will be stuck in your head for many years to come, masturbate to those images. The ADD mind is very creative and you can come up with stuff on your own. Especially if you saw someone at the mall, or in a magazine, or whatever. We are talking about eliminating the porn here. That's it! Nothing more, nothing less! The images in your mind are fine and should subside over time. It's a cliche' but Rome was not built in a day, really, so take your time. For your first time around set either 1 week or 2 weeks as a goal.

3) You will begin to realize and see that your relations with real women out on the street or wherever you meet them will begin to improve. At this point, you will want to begin listening to communication/dating tapes. Nothing sleazy, just some stuff that would work well for you whether you were in a conference room or the laundromat. Stay out of clubs. The women there are mainly a tease. They go there with a HUGE WALL and a HUGE FRONT to get around. Unless you have the gift of gab or are a GQ model, stay out of clubs. Even a bar is better, just not clubs. The women there just want to enjoy themselves, so don't expect to get a real number or a call back the next day. The barrier is too high. Not that it is impossible, it is just a lot harder, and not only will you not get a call back, etc. But you will also be out of a lot of money, have a hangover, feel like garbage, and guess what? You'll be even more spaced out and want to return to porn. Don't do it. Best places to go. Well just run some errands and of course dress the part, don't go looking like a bum. You can find women in the grocery store, laundromat, etc. After this starts happening, you won't want to watch porn anymore.

4) You also don't want to degrade the women in the porn movies. If you must watch porn watch, the better sex series, the lovers guide, or the like. At least with those you will learn something that you can use on a real person and actually make them feel good. I once tried a porno move in bed with someone once and it didn't go over well. The porn on the internet has gotten pretty extreme. Don't think for one minute that those women want to be on there doing what they do. A lot of them are, well, forced into it whether due to money, etc, etc. Wouldn't it suck to have sex with someone who, well, wasn't that into it? Well, it's the same thing on the net. Those women just aren't that into it. Don't get me wrong, some are, just not that many, especially in comparison to the huge number of films you see on the net.

5) If you slip, you slip? Just come back stronger next time. Make it a challenge for yourself. If you went 2 weeks without watching porn, and you slip, then just do it as often as you want, but say to yourself that you are going to go 3 weeks or longer next time. Etc. Failure is a good thing. It is what makes you stronger.

6) Awareness. If you begin to feel spaced-out, take notice. Get on some meds, write out your tasks for the day, get away from the computer or just turn it off for a few hours. Ride your bike, take a walk, call someone you forgot to call (even if it is customer service for your cell phone or light bill). Look over the last 5 years of your life. Are you happy with everything you did and the way it turned out? What if you only had 5 years left to live, would you be doing what you are doing now? You cannot afford to be spaced out and/or hyper-focused on the wrong things. Shake yourself out of it, or get someone else to do it (yes, convey to them what is going on. You do not have to tell them everything. Just say you've been down and cannot get anything done, or whatever your case may be.)

7) Keep in mind circumstances may knock you off track. It's okay, just follow step number 5.

8) You will notice you are more assertive about getting things done. You won't feel as though you have been high your whole life. In medieval ancient times they would make men wear a cup with spikes in it so that if they got wood it would be very very painful. They thought back then that masturbation made the men less productive. Don't worry, when you stop watching porn, you will be masturbating and less and should therefore be more productive. You won't have all those images tugging on you to do it all the time. In its place you will be doing the things you need to be doing. You will then be less depressed and therefore will not want to do it as much.

This may not be a full proof solution and many of you may find fault with it, but it is what helps keep me going. Hopefully it is helpful to someone out there. Good luck to all you guys and gals.
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  #51  
Old 07-26-09, 05:51 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Also, in a March 2005 issue of Men's Health Magazine, here is what the famous Dr. Daniel Amen had to say about the issue.

Question:
A reader asks, "I like to look at porn regularly--like every day. I do have a healthy sex life, but I wonder if my interest in porn is normal."

Answer:
Dr. Amen answers, "NO. If you're looking at porn daily, you have an unhealthy habit and are wasting time. Get a calculator and add up all the hours you've spent staring at these pictures, fantasizing, and searching for more porn. You probably could have earned a degree in the time you've spent ogling two-dimensional images. How does this help you reach your goals? If you do a behavior everyday, it should have a positive impact on your life and not separate you from people you love."
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  #52  
Old 07-27-09, 01:10 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I find that watching porn and jerking off is sometime relaxing .......thou with my med it's seems to have dropped my libido
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  #53  
Old 08-03-09, 07:18 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I have a problem with porn and it has recently had a major impact on my life. Here is my story.

Prologue:

I was diagnosed with ADD about 9 months ago at age 22. Like most young men my age I was very interested in porn, sometimes very interested and other times only occassionally. Looking back, I've acknowledged that like many other individuals who have ADD, I have to have something in my life that I obsess over, something I'm addicted to.

My obsessions have changed from time to time, whether it be online games like World of Warcraft, school, exercising and playing basketball, or most recently: porn. Ever since I first started looking at porn, I've never been a quick 5-10 minute viewer. Instead, I would "cherish the moment" so to speak, sometimes spending in excess of an hour looking at porn and masturbating until I found that one perfect picture or movie.

Now, this was all fine and good from any other guy's perspective because porn is "normal" and "healty." It is not. Like most men, in the past I would have rejected that statement as just another form of feminist propaganda. In fact, I even argued with my girlfriend about it at one point. But this past weekend opened my eyes and caused me to completely re-think my opinions on porn and re-think my life in general.

Chapter 1: The Problem

For the past couple of months, my porn addition was growing exponentially. I recently moved in with my girlfriend and just thought that I had a high sex drive and that she wasn't able to satisfy it. I found myself looking at porn just about every minute she wasn't home. This equated to about 2 hours every weeknight and about 3 hours on each day of the weekend. Like any addiction, and yes porn is an addiction for those who still don't think so, the next time you experience that addition is never as good as the last.

What started out as one porn site that I was subscribed to, led to four. What started out as pictures, led to hard core videos. Those sites and videos still were not enough and I began masturbating to craigslist ads and erotic online dating sites. Unlike porn stars, these were real people, ones that lived close to me. It was much more real and much more gratifying. I even went as far as filling out a profile on a site as if I were there to actually meet people. I described my fantasies, what type of person I was, and who I wanted to meet. I never planned on actually meeting someone and cheating on my girlfriend, but I did actively pursue people to illicite responses. Like any addiction, I was consumed by it and it became my fantasy world - it was my World of Warcraft of porn.

On July 31, 2009, it had only been about two days since I filled out my profile and maybe a week or two after I first starting looking at the site. It was in the morning that day before I left for work and before my girlfriend had gotten out of bed (a time I often looked at porn and masturbated), and I was of course looking at the site. Well, whether by pure accident or because of my subconscience, I accidently left the webpage up on my computer and left for work.

Of course my girlfriend saw it. That day when I came home, my girlfriend had printed out a copy of my profile with a hand written note saying, "Oops, you forgot to close out." She had completely moved out and all of her things were gone. And I mean EVERYTHING: coffee tables, bookcases, trash cans, her clothes, bathroom things, food, etc. I freaked out. She wouldn't talk to me and for a short period of time, I actually thought about hurting myself.

Chapter 2: The Recovery

I love my girlfriend to death, more than anything. I planned on marrying her and with the exception of this porn problem, we literally had a perfect relationship that all my friends were very jealous of. I am "that guy" who brings home flowers just cause' and would do creative things periodically for my girlfriend to show my love. However, I've realized that porn has changed me. Because of porn, I stopped "making love" to my girlfriend and started "*****ing" her like a porn star. It also never left me satisfied. I wanted my girlfried to do all the things I was looking at online but she is not that person and not very communicative to talk about it in the first place.

My girlfriend's departure was a wake up call to me. After first coming home, I repeated called her and sent her texts telling her that I was sorry, loved her dearly, didn't cheat on her, etc, but she didn't want to talk to me. I began to realize that I had a problem. The first thing I did was delete every piece of porn from my computer and unsubscribe from all my sites. Then I wrote a letter to my girlfriend, admitting that I had a problem and that I was going to get help. Begging for foregiveness and telling her how much I loved her.

I couldn't sleep that night so in an emotional drunkard, I drove to my girlfriend's parent's house where she was staying and put my letter on her car. In an effort to do whatever I needed to do to get my gilfriend back, I then called my insurance's number for counseling in situations like these. I spoke to a counseler and scheduled an appointment to see someone about my problem this week.

The next day when my girlfriend was at work, I went back to her parent's house and spoke to her mom to ask for foregiveness. She lectured me, but in all it was very constructive and helped me calm down a little. I still wasn't going to give up though. My girlfriend and I both LOVE the beach, so I drove to the beach (about 70 miles away) and filled two jars up with sand from two beaches. I wrote another letter to my girlfriend and dropped them off at her house later that day. Finally, when I thought I couldn't wait any longer, my girlfriend said she was willing to talk to me.

In a room filled with all of her boxed belongings, our conversation that night was essentially a cry fest. I didn't cheat on her, but what else could she assume. She didn't trust me and didn't know whether to believe my letters or my profile she printed out. In all, we both want to be together, but I still have to earn her trust back. Earning her trust back means time, relationship rebuilding in general, and for me to get help. Last night I went and bought two books about rebuilding relationships and dropped hers off with two dozen roses.

I love her with all my heart and I will do everything I can to ensure that she lets me back into her life. I know that most men are not willing to follow my steps after something like this happens to them. But this event has re-awakened me to realize what is important in life and what I was taking advantage of.

Epilogue:

I obviously don't have any desire to look at porn right now, but I want to ensure that I break its addiction and can learn to love like I once did. This occurred so recently I haven't had a formal therapy/counseling session yet but I fully intend on pursuing that avenue. I'm actively working on distraction techniques and training my brain not to be fixated on only thinking about sex whenever I see a woman. Presently, whenever I see an attractive woman, I instantly look away, try to ignore them, and try to think of something that will take my mind away from them. I know in the long run this might not be healthy, but right now I feel like i really need it. I've already gotten rid of all my porn and tucked my laptop away (I'm at work right now, bad i know), but I plan on getting anti-porn software and a history checker for my girlfriend to monitor. To fulfill my obsessive tendencies, I'll be working out like I once did and school is about to start up for me again which will also be constructive. Overall I'm re-evaluating how I treat people and making sure my priorities are right - my own health, my girlfriend and family being the most important.

Conclusion:

So for all of you other men out there who think like I once did, that porn is not a serious issue, please be careful and re-evaluate your opinion before it affects your life and the lives of those you love.
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  #54  
Old 08-03-09, 08:14 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Tough story Snoogs. I truly hope you can win her back.
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Old 08-03-09, 08:28 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

snoogs-- Are you diagnosed with ADD? On any meds for ADD?
I know I had quite an affinity for porn, but when I became medicated with a good med, pretty much all of that went away. Whether you call it an addiction or hyperfocusing, or just chasing the rush of rubbing one out for a while.
Either way I hope you and her can come to some agreement and move on as a couple.
Good Luck.
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Old 08-03-09, 08:36 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Yes, I was diagnosed. For about the past 8 months I had been taking 15mg IR twice a day. Although I understand the hyperfocus aspect and how one can get caught up in porn that way (because I've done it), that's not the case with me. I mostly looked at porn during the evening when my medication would ware off. Although I do think my medication may have led to some of my relationship problems and made me resort to porn at times because recently I have been much more tired and irritable as my medication wore off and I would cope with porn and take it out on my frustration on my girlfriend.

This weekend I switched back to brand name XR so I'm hoping that the ware-off will be less severe. Today that seems to be the case and I was in a much better mood throughout the day as well.

If, however, my mood does not improve and I think my medication is the cause of it, I'm prepared to stop taking it if my relationships will improve by me doing so.
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Old 08-03-09, 09:08 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

well, thats what I meant.. maybe you need a change in med, or a (better) long lasting med, to help those times after your day when your normal meds are worn off.
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Old 08-03-09, 09:14 PM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Ya, im sure it would help, although i dont think it's the root of the problem. I can't be medicated 24-7 with adderall, perhaps there's something else, but that's beside the point. I dont think ADD is 100% to blame so I believe in finding solutions in places other than just new medication.
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Old 08-04-09, 03:50 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

Snoogs, that is quite an powerful story along with some gutsy out of desperation moves. My hats off to you as you are in the midst of winning her back and proving your trust. Getting rid of all the images is a great idea.

Some helpful software:

1) OpenDNS

2) Blue Coat K9 Web Protection (this requires a password to change the settings, so you may want to have someone else create the password to keep it out of your reach)

3) There is another one (I can't remember the name), but it will send someone you assign (possibly your girlfriend) an email if you look at anything pornographic or go to one of any of the porn websites.

I hope you will be able to keep this going and maybe find something else to obssess over if need be. The only things you may want to watch out for are low points where something may cause you to get depressed or down about something. Something else that also helps me is that when I see a good looking woman outside I have trained myself to picture my spouse naked at that point. Somehow the good-looking woman who is clothed doesn't compare to my spouse who is naked.

Good luck. I hope you win her back.
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Old 08-21-09, 10:19 AM
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Re: Porn/Massterbation Addiction

I can certainly identify with what's being said in this thread. I've wasted many a night searching down porn, and I tend to open more than one source at a time, flipping back and forth between them. I've gotten a lot better lately, even before my diagnosis, since I could see if having an impact on my life and I decided to try to cut it out. I've been largely successful, but hey, there's always relapses... part of the addictive nature, I guess.

I haven't noticed any sexual side effects from the meds (vyvanse), but I'm trying to be aware of them, just in case. I haven't resumed sexual activity since going on meds (my wife and I work opposite schedules, so it's difficult to find the time), but we'll see what happens. Personally, I look forwards to being able to concentrate and focus more on her during sex. heh
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