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Primary & Secondary Education This forum is for parents to discuss issues related to their children's education and AD/HD.

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Old 04-09-13, 02:10 PM
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Back to School Has Been Rough

We went back to school yesterday after suspension and spring break which amounted to a total of 3 wks out of school. We didn't expect it to be easy and it wasn't.

DS cried the whole way there and was very agitated. I made him come in with me to deliver the evaluation request letters and he wasn't happy. We sat in the office until 1pm with him mostly crying that he wanted to go home and not even attempting to go to class. The AP tried to talk to him and he got really agitated, crying, pushing stuff around and hitting his head on the wall. I finally got him calmed down and we left at 1pm.

Today, he fought me about getting dressed but I told him he were going to do this one step at a time and together. So we went to school and he went in to sit in the office. Wouldn't go to math but said he might go to language arts. Someone brought some work up and he did it while we were there. Got really upset and agitated as the time for LA came around and said he didn't feel well. Said he wanted to try but he felt sick, what if he couldn't go, what if he made it in the classroom but had to leave, what would the others think, it would look weird. So I kept trying but he just couldn't do it so we left at noon.

So I say today was better than yesterday so maybe we can get better each day. Hard part is, he gets no priviledges unless he goes to school--no iTouch, PS3, computer or TV. I listened to him battle through this all day yesterday and today. He wants to get his stuff back but he cannot make himself go to class. Dr says that shows it's try panic and not willful disobedience. BTW, we love the new counselor and really think he can help but we know it will take a lot of time.

On the Special Ed, they got the letters yesterday and are working to set up meetings. But it will most likely be the end of the month before testing is done and mid to end of May before the evaluation of the data and the plan are do so we won't really see any help this year but will have something in place for next year.

We do have the option of homebound teachers where they come to the home to provide instruction for about 5 hrs a wk. That may get him promoted to 6th grade but won't help the anxiety/school avoidance issue.

My heart is just breaking. He was talking today about how he wasn't "normal".
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Old 04-09-13, 02:20 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

Is there a counselor at the school? What has that person done to help the
situation? Someone needs to step up and help this little guy so he can be
comfortable going to school like the other kids do. How about getting him a
"buddy" to go to class with him? I mean one of the kids in his class that is
willing to be supportive.
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Old 04-09-13, 02:26 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

Thanks Lunacie.

Honestly, the counselor is useless. She's talked to him once through this whole ordeal. We've tried the buddy route and when he's in a better emotional state it sometimes works but usually not. Really, right now, it doesn't seem to me that they are doing much except to try to encourage him to go to class when they pass him in the office. But he is also kinda agitated right now so much pushing sets him off like yesterday.

I honestly think we are going to have to move him to a small private school but we will still face the anxiety of changing schools so that may not even work. BUT he's changing schools anyway because of going to middle school.
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Old 04-09-13, 02:48 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

Homebound tutors for the rest of this school year sounds like a good idea.
At least that way he'd still be learning something.

At our last school we had one teacher (spec ed 2nd/3rd grade) that had any
idea how to work with my autistic g-daughter. No one else really cared. The
counselor and the speech therapist "seemed" to be trying, but it was just
useless.

Especially in 4th grade - the special ed teacher didn't even seem to try. We
asked about having the district autism specialist visit the class room and
make some suggestions - but it never seemed to work out until almost the
end of school. Too late to help. And I don't think the teacher would have
used the suggestions anyway.

But at least the district autism specialist was able to recommend switching
her to a different school. The staff there didn't have a clue how to help my
g-daughter either, but they were willing to try things.

It was after the winter break before they invited the specialist to visit, but
they implemented every one of her suggestions and because she is also on
the spectrum, she was able to help them understand how things like
physical restraint made things much, much worse.

She's been doing so much better the last few months that they're talking
about sending her to regular middle school. It totally scares me to
death to think about moving her.
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Old 04-09-13, 03:24 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

Sorry your son's return to school hasn't gone well. We ended up leaving our neighbourhood school with our daughter and it was the best thing we ever did. I swear she had built up some kind of PTSD from two terrible years there. She just didn't fit in, feel comfortable or want in any way to be in that building. When she has to go in the school now on the odd occasion to pick up one of her siblings she is noticeable tense and nervous till we get outside again. She doesn't even like to stay and play on the playground when we pick the others up. Can you in anyway swing the home tutoring with your work schedule? I would vote for that.
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Old 04-09-13, 03:34 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

have you thought about homeschooling him? if he has such massive panic about classes, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing.
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Old 04-09-13, 04:34 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

Thanks everyone. DH and I both work so home tutors and homeschooling aren't the best options. It would get him through this year but it doesn't address his anxiety about school. I mentioned the home tutoring to DH today and he is totally against it for that reason. A different school might help if he would go.

My DH and I are disagreeing alot. I think he's too hard on him and he thinks I'm too soft. We are probably both right. It makes it hard to help him when we aren't on the same page.
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Old 04-09-13, 04:56 PM
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Re: Back to School Has Been Rough

I think getting the homebound teacher for the remainder of the year would be a good idea, if you can make it work into your schedule. It would alleviate his anxiety to a great extent and he'll actually be in a better position to catch up on the work. In the meantime, he'll be working with his new counselor and finding better ways to cope. Then, by next year, you should have the IEP in place.
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