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Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives |
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#16
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
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Others may feel that once a week is enough. And some may attend one meeting for themselves and another meeting that same week to help support another person.
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ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know. -RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D. As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me |
#17
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
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Both are still really something else that stimulates the addict enough so they can leave their previous addictions behind. I don't think the addict can just "try harder" to succeed. They have to fill their needs in some other way. |
The Following User Says Thank You to acdc01 For This Useful Post: | ||
Lunacie (09-21-19) |
#18
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
I live with a border line, and im not sure anythig in your post aproximates the **** you could be in for if your partner was borderline. I was rusty, hasnt seen it for three decades - i was a sitting duck become a war toy. and not video games lol, i ended up peeing in bottle and cup the first day after then next day upgraded to ice cream bucket. I cant deal with it as I grew up with it - and what happened in the ice cream bucket war was childs play next to what a decades younger borderline can unleash.
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Last edited by eeyore; 09-24-19 at 03:40 AM.. |
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#19
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
i was trying to think of a way to edit that to say not all bpd experiences mirror my own but took to long, then this became the way to say it.
the whole thing with my housemate is super screwed, im super angry and the bpd thinks its over **** im just making up when in fact,,no.. it was a barrage of hateful nonsense with a nasty crowning jewel, a real bash - ill probably have to move out. do you know how difficult it is to withstand a barrage of hateful nonsense, esp when you are rusty and clueless that its sole purpose is to goad you into war? Guess what else? its pretty much obvious the Beauvoir on my part that inspire this barrage against me clearly fits into adhd catigories.
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#20
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
The big problem is that he doesn't sense that he has a problem..... if that is truly the case then no amount of pills, therapy, encouragement or pushing s going to change his behaviour.
It sounds like he's Ok because other people such as yourself provide his basic needs and you provide the small amount of relational contact he wants. Meeting new people face to face is likely to generate anxiety, and initially produce little reward, so it's a no-brainer to withdraw if basic needs are met...... becoming a recluse. I wouldn't put this down to a mood disorder, particularly Borderline... and I'd also say that medication is unlikely to have an effect. Only once he has the desire to change and sees it as a possibility would meds or psychological interventions have an effect. Strange as it may seem to say it, unless he is showing signs of psychological distress why not accept his reclusive nature and go and get your relational needs and interests met under your own steam? That way you model the possibilities and come back home with stories and practical examples of the benefits of socialising. |
The Following User Says Thank You to kilted_scotsman For This Useful Post: | ||
20thcenturyfox (Today) |
#21
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
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#22
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
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It takes time to understand. When I spend my daytime employed by work that requires energy for "active attention", I often find my evening time spent doing things that involve "passive attention". People who have AD(H)D have less capacity for "active attention". "Passive attention" requires less energy than active attention. In our cases, the lack of capacity is physical. Quote:
M
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"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin) |
#23
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
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m
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"When people are suffering mentally, they want to feel better—they want to stop having bad emotions and start having good emotions." (-Temple Grandin) |
#24
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Re: Please help me explain to my ADHD partner that this lifestyle is not acceptable
My wife gets mad at me as well for spending to much time either games or mostly YouTube now. I haven’t resolved it yet. But I am working on it. I have to be more attentive to my family. I wish I could be better. Well I guess I will keep climbing the mountain. Uphill battle Lol
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For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16 |
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