ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADDForums FRONT OFFICE > New Member Introductions
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-25-18, 08:36 PM
shaunG shaunG is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Seattle
Posts: 21
Thanks: 27
Thanked 17 Times in 8 Posts
shaunG is on a distinguished road
I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADD about 15 years ago. I'm 57 now. The diagnosis explained just about every problem I had going back to early childhood.

Because I was merely inattentive, I didn't know what was wrong with me growing up. Severely disorganized (still am). Some subjects in school were impossible (math) while anything having to do with science or reading/history etc just came automatically. I got the worst grades on my homework, but had the highest retention in the class on tests (except math).

I always knew I was smart. My teachers knew I was smart. But I was always called lazy because I was unable to complete schoolwork. I was abused by the principle of my grade school, JR High because what turned out to be ADD was maliciousness and personal failing to him.

I ended up living on the streets at age 15. At home, my inattentive ADD symptoms were attributed to personal failings and were treated as such. It made me depressed to the point that I just left. Because I knew it wasn't true and that I couldn't help it.

I have always had an ability to super focus on anything that interests me and become expert at it. Like computer programming. I have a bachelors degree in software engineering. My permanent memories start at age 1. In some areas I am ridiculously smart. In others hopelessly clueless. But I realize now it only depends on whether the subject at hand interests me or not.

Now my marriage is falling apart over it. My wife attributes my symptoms as personal failings, as my parents did, and treats me accordingly, just as my parents did before I ran away.

She now says that if the symptoms continue, in her mind the personal failings, that she won't retire with me on land in Hawaii that I have saved for years to purchase this November, because "I'm too lazy to do the work that will need to be done".

And all that just barely scratches the surface of how many ways inattentive ADD has controlled every aspect of my life, including relationships and work AND school AND everything else, since early childhood.

So here I am. Seeking help...

Thanks for hearing me out.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to shaunG For This Useful Post:
peripatetic (09-25-18), SashaBV (09-26-18)
  #2  
Old 09-25-18, 09:21 PM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 19,388
Thanks: 20,782
Thanked 26,090 Times in 12,175 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

Welcome to the forum. I'm 67 and I totally understand the situation.

If you can retire to Hawaii at age 57 you're not doing as badly as your wife says.

My husband died 15 years ago, 1 year after the divorce was final.
I had to keep working until early retirement - 65 - to collect his social security.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
peripatetic (09-25-18), shaunG (09-25-18)
  #3  
Old 09-25-18, 09:40 PM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: .
Posts: 22,553
Blog Entries: 12
Thanks: 34,530
Thanked 34,110 Times in 15,441 Posts
peripatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond reputeperipatetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

welcome xx
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to peripatetic For This Useful Post:
shaunG (09-25-18)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 09-25-18, 10:01 PM
shaunG shaunG is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Seattle
Posts: 21
Thanks: 27
Thanked 17 Times in 8 Posts
shaunG is on a distinguished road
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Welcome to the forum. I'm 67 and I totally understand the situation.

If you can retire to Hawaii at age 57 you're not doing as badly as your wife says.

My husband died 15 years ago, 1 year after the divorce was final.
I had to keep working until early retirement - 65 - to collect his social security.
I want the people around me to understand what it's like to go through life with multiple trains of thought running through my head simultaneously at all times. It makes for a very rich inner life, but it causes misunderstandings in my outer life!

Thank you!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-25-18, 11:15 PM
Rebelyell's Avatar
Rebelyell Rebelyell is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somerset NJ
Posts: 10,319
Thanks: 6,282
Thanked 10,968 Times in 5,889 Posts
Rebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond reputeRebelyell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

Wow I'm sorry its been so tough for you and your wife hasn't been very understanding or compassionate...I know what I'd do but what I'd might not be the right thing to do..I do try to do what's right within reason.I too was scapegoats thru out school n I did nothing I just took it but I will not take nothing or be crapped on by anyone anymore.....
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-26-18, 03:31 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 28,232
Thanks: 5,744
Thanked 32,636 Times in 15,116 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

I am sorry shaun, that's tough. I did post on your other thread.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-08-18, 02:25 AM
Dave R Dave R is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Castlegar, B.C., Canada
Posts: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 1 Post
Dave R is on a distinguished road
Re: I'm Shaun and my life sucks right now

Hi Shaun.



Keep your head up man, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That's what keeps me going. Similar deal here and maybe I can give you something to think about. Like you, I knew my whole life but didn't tie it all together as one issue. I was verbally diagnosed with ADHD at age 50 and haven't responded well to many different types of meds. Lost my great job, 23+ yr relationship, home....everything. (she couldn't comprehend being with somebody who's diagnosed so I hit the road)


Sorry sidetracked, I was not happy with the treatment I was getting so I moved and got lucky with this health system in my new area. Now the good part, Think back about if you have ever been tagged in the head, major blows to the noggin. Turns out I just might have the world record for blows to the head without being an athlete or Evil K'nevil.


Sidetracked again.....ok, turns out I have TBI from repetitive hits to the head. Now listen, I do a lot of research on this and I read info that people share online which isn't always fully accurate. There is no symptom to differentiate between ADHD and Traumatic Brain Injury. (Every single person is an individual with their own individual symptoms and no two are exactly the same, so I'm told)



There are times that untreated or chronic TBI symptoms come on later in life and there is a possibility that CTE is present which begins with ADHD and usually headaches. Then progresses into more confusion....and on. You never want to be diagnosed with CTE because it is only done Post Mortem. One guy (Minn. Viking I think) was diagnosed while alive a couple years ago. Just keep all options and angles in mind.



The lucky ones respond well to treatment, then guys like me just keep trying.



The best way to tell is that ADHD should not be getting excruciatingly worse after 50 yrs old, getting worse after 50 is right up TBI's alley.
Untreated, or not yet diagnosed throughout the years, and then you bang you head on a cupboard door, ya never know.


You didn't mention meds. If you can..... I mean, in the kindest way, Get to a doctor and start working with someone on the problem if you haven't yet.



BTW, you've probably heard of me. I'm the kid who was dropped on his head. A guy picked me up by my ankles and dropped me in a pool with no water. They say that's where it all began. Lots of hits after that, if anything, some great stories.



This is my first ever posting on any forum anywhere and I'm glad it was to you. I lost every single thing I could, even most relationships. Best part about this whole mess is you really do find out who your friends are. I have two. Forgot about everyone else. Never underestimate positivity, it's the most powerful tool you possess.


Brief summary


1. Any hits to the head? Think about that on your way to the doctor if you haven't been in a while.


2.Put a little (or more) time away every day to you your own research and crosscheck your references.


Learn all there is to know about ADHD, TBI, CTE and whatever else that can mimic these symptoms. The more you can recognize what is happening in your head, your motor skills, coordination, eye movement to tell your doc the better. I am not an expert on anything and I'm not pretending to be a know-it-all, just trying to help.



Stay positive. I'm no rocket surgeon and do apologize if anything I wrote was wrong info. I'll try and edit it...my kryptonite...editing...shudder.


Ask me anything anytime or send me a tip if you have any.



I know, lengthy, I promise the mods I will focus on improving in that area but my mind is going a million miles an hour and editing is out of the question now.



We are all going through this together, get back to me for any reason you want to.



Stay positive, it's effective.



Dave


Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dave R For This Useful Post:
Kasie B (10-17-18), Rebelyell (10-08-18), SashaBV (10-08-18)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:50 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums