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Old 09-17-08, 07:44 PM
oogenesis oogenesis is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 2
Thanks: 5
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oogenesis is on a distinguished road
Shiny newbie from San Diego says 'hajime mashi te!'

Hajime mashi te is Japanese for 'Nice to meet you!' Roughly, it means 'Let's begin'.

On that note, hello everyone -- I'm a 26-year-old woman, and for most of my life I've felt guilty for not living up to my potential, for constantly forgetting or losing things and not being able to figure out what the hell I wanted out of life.

My childhood is littered with report cards that allude to my constant daydreaming, not doing homework, losing important papers, not 'applying myself enough'...a severe beating with my mother's belt when I was in sixth grade put an end to the disappointing report cards, but may have started intermittent problems with depression that I still struggle with. My mother wasn't much help. She used to tell me 'You must have Alzheimer's or something' or, more often, just scream at me for forgetting to wipe down the sink after doing dishes, forgetting to put something back where I found it, losing my backpack, library books, wallet, keys...I seriously began to think there might be something wrong with me. After all, other people didn't lose or forget things all the time. I found so many fields of study interesting as a kid...botany, geology, music, space travel, chemistry...but she rarely encouraged me in any of them. To this day I have trouble trusting my interest in new things.

I left home, started university on a scholarship...and promptly hit a wall, almost flunking out my first year. I did fairly well in high school, but I needed serious help in college and couldn't figure out where or how to get it. I never did get it. Six years later, after years of all-nighters, turning in essays late, not attending some classes (even classes I liked), considering whether to leave, repeating classes that, in hindsight, weren't so difficult, and a change in major, I graduated by the skin of my teeth and was glad that my ordeal was over.

It wasn't until I started my first job out of college that I realized that I did have a very real problem. I never thought I might have undiagnosed ADHD until finding ADDitude while at work and seeing my problems writ large in the experiences of others. I'd worked while I was a student, and had incredible difficulty with staying on task, forgetting details, and abandoning problems after getting stuck to surf the web. I couldn't understand why, since I was doing work I actually enjoyed. Here, in a job I didn't care for, those problems came out in full force after about a month...constant web surfing to ward off boredom, procrastinating on projects I hated, IM use... The IM use eventually got me fired after three months (this was a no-IM company).

I'm not even going to go into the abject mess I made of my credit in college after forgetting to pay credit card statements. I did manage to pay off one of my creditors, however.

I still have not gotten an official diagnosis, but am looking for coping strategies... I have found some that work for me, like setting my bills up to be paid automatically, opting out of receiving paper copies of bank statements (as paper is the bane of my existence), and leaving my wallet/keys/whatever where I can grab them in the morning before I leave for work. I still have problems with household maintenance, though.

Last edited by oogenesis; 09-17-08 at 07:51 PM.. Reason: Argh...I didn't think the forum would have problems with foreign languages...
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