![]() |
|
Register | Blogs | FAQ | Chat | Members List | Calendar | Donate | Gallery | Arcade | Mark Forums Read |
Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships. |
![]() |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Love, and respect
Love that can be earned was never love. Earned love is blackmail, always.
Respect that can be earned is not the kind of respect that is needed to build a healthy marriage. Earned respect is nothing but a favourable judgment, and judgments can be changed in an instant. For relationships in which earned respect is an important feature, disaster is always just around the corner.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post: | ||
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Re: Love, and respect
I never understood people saying that respect has to be earned. That's rubbish I think. Everyone, by default, should be respected. Elders, kids, even babies need and deserve respect. Society would be very unpleasant if respect always had to be earned first. And then how do you earn it?? Who decides what traits deserve to be respected.
I do think that love can be earned though I suspect I don't think about it in as linear a way as you perhaps do. I mean it's not tit for that. I do this and then expect tò be loved. Unlike respect you can't expect to be loved by default. Respect I think belongs to the person receiving it whereas love belongs to the person giving it. I don't love random people. I think love is extremely personal and has everything to do with your thoughts and your being and very little with the other person. But then there are things that someone can do (on purpose or not) that might make it a bit easier for me to love them. It's not reliable though especially since love solely exists in the person giving it. I think therefore I love.. I'm not explaining myself well and I'm in a hurry so I'm not sure this makes sense. In a nutshell, I think respect is up there with human rights and it's universal but love is personal and can't be demanded but love can be aided by doing or being a particular way (what what that is depends on the individual). |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Fuzzy12 For This Useful Post: | ||
#3
|
||||
|
||||
Re: Love, and respect
Respect certainly needs to be earned back after a betrayal, but I agree that
respect should be the human default setting.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know. -RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D. As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post: | ||
dvdnvwls (05-21-17), Luvmybully (05-21-17) |
Sponsored Links |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Love, and respect
Respect after a betrayal: Yes, absolutely.
However, I know that with you personally Lunacie, what you call being betrayed is a very serious matter. There are others in the world who can trot out the concept of betrayal over things that are secondary in importance, or even frivolous. I might even argue that what you've talked about there is trust rather than respect. I'm not sure, and I'm not sure if it matters.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster. |
The Following User Says Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post: | ||
Lunacie (05-21-17) |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Love, and respect
If by doing a certain thing I could make a certain person love me, I wouldn't trust that person.
If I found out that a person who loved me was pleased if I did a certain thing, I would probably try to do that more often. Those sound similar but are very different IMO. Doing something for someone to make them happier or to improve their life, when I know they would love me anyway even if I never did it, vs knowing they'll stop loving me if I stop supplying them with reasons to do so... Ugh.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster. |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
Re: Love, and respect
I am not a fan of people saying you have to earn anything-respect, love or otherwise. It implies that the person doing the "earning" somehow has to prove worthiness. We are all worthy. All life is precious.
__________________
President of the No F's given society. I carried a watermelon? |
The Following User Says Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post: | ||
Lunacie (05-22-17) |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Love, and respect
Quote:
![]() I think a possible test for what can be earned and what can't, might be that anything legitimately earned can always be sold or traded away again. If you can't trade away what you've earned, then it was never "earn-able" in the first place, and you've been fooled. Does that idea work?
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post: | ||
aeon (05-25-17), sarahsweets (05-25-17) |
#8
|
||||
|
||||
Re: Love, and respect
Quote:
__________________
President of the No F's given society. I carried a watermelon? |
The Following User Says Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post: | ||
aeon (05-26-17) |
![]() |
Bookmarks |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Love addiction | Hermus | ADDiction & Substance Abuse | 63 | 02-27-17 11:56 PM |
Do you *have* to wear comfortable clothes like sweatpants? | Simfish | Sensory | 148 | 12-30-15 07:36 PM |
ADHD Symptoms or Lack of Respect? | PandoraBoxx | Non-ADD Partner Support | 77 | 03-02-14 06:44 PM |
Love ADD learning disabilities and respect | excel | Relationships & Social Issues | 37 | 03-26-11 10:44 PM |