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Old 09-22-18, 07:36 AM
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hi

Just introducing myself...

Despite depression and c-ptsd, I still like to laugh.
I had a day of tests in July and the information that came back from that was a little hard to swallow, downright painful but also relieving...to be able to point to something after all those years of struggling and trying to cover up things I didn't understand because I had already learned there was no talking about it. Coming from an alcoholic, dysfunctional family...we didn't talk about problems or feel our feelings or trust outsiders. So there's a lot of overlap of cPTSD and ADHD, but even without the ptsd, I know I had more than the average trouble with school. When I was somewhere around 11 or 12, I wrote to my aunt who was a special ed teacher and told her I thought there was something wrong with me. She didn't reply until years later, she said she found my letter and laughed about it, but I immediately cried because it was such a sore, unresolved area for me. I didn't know I was adhd.

I dropped out of college, shortly after a counselor suggested that I get tested for learning disabilities, that notion scared the heck out of me, SHAME! considering my siblings had all excelled and showed no signs of LD, after all I spent my whole life trying to be as good as my older siblings-unsuccessfully.

I'm at the stage now where I want others to understand what we're up against and we've struggled but it's such a complicated thing, it's very difficult to convey and naturally the only people that seem interested are those who have it, so I'm starting to accept that and redirecting my focus to things I can do for myself and paying closer attention to the foods I eat and meditation, I don't medicate myself now, except with caffeine, a constant challenge, I did a lot of damage in my younger years, with self destruction and intoxicants. I respect that others want to take meds, so I hope that I will be respected even though I choose not to.

I also attend Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional meetings, which has been a big blessing because I'm making friends, learning about myself and working through a traumatic past with people who share similar struggles. In the book, "Scattered" , the chapter "Self Esteem", I read about a lot of the similar "laundry list traits" that are characteristic of ACA's. So I recommend ACA meetings if you come from a dysfunctional or alcoholic family, and many things qualify as dysfunctional. We are guided through a step by step process of working with "stuffed" feelings and begin to feel a lot of pain that has been suppressed, which affects ADHD. Okay, I've maxed out my attention span for writing this profile, so I gotta stop.
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Old 09-22-18, 03:20 PM
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Re: hi

Welcome to ADDF! Glad you found us!
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Old 09-22-18, 05:20 PM
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Re: hi

Welcome to the wacky forum family!
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Old 09-23-18, 11:49 AM
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Re: hi

Welcome
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Old 09-23-18, 03:16 PM
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Re: hi

Hello and welcome!

I didn't know that meetings for children of alcoholics were also welcoming of
and helpful for children of dysfunctional families. Maybe I'll hunt one up.

I always felt like I was failing to live up to my older brother ... you know, the
one who sexually molested me when I was in middle school, the one who left
college after the first semester. Yeah, that one.
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As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
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Old 09-23-18, 03:39 PM
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Re: hi

Welcome to the dark side
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