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  #14581  
Old 04-22-17, 02:02 AM
Letching Gray Letching Gray is offline
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Just wondering how to get to drugs. My usual supplier is a family member that won't be likely to supply me anymore after rehab.
Please stay in touch. Take good care. Will miss you, my friend, Hermus.
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  #14582  
Old 04-22-17, 02:03 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Could you channel some of your current ennui/anger into a workout at the gym?
(Make your own happy brain chemicals that way...safer and cheaper than finding a dealer.)
Not angry. Just don't want this empty life anymore. Everything that could at least make it bearable every now and then is out of the question in recovery.
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  #14583  
Old 04-22-17, 02:49 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

In my head I'm just constantly busy with my recovery and being self-conscious. I can't handle the misery called recovery being present all the time. Sometimes I just want to be able to think about something else. Not having to think about recovery all the time.
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  #14584  
Old 04-22-17, 03:48 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Not even going to fight the gorilla. It would be more than welcome to kill me and release me from this hell.
I hope your addiction doesn't win, Hermus

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I'm tired and strangely down. Saw parts of a movie called rescue dawn. Based on a true story. I don't even want to write anything.
Fuzzy I hope you feel better soon
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  #14585  
Old 04-22-17, 07:41 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Went to a NA meeting this morning and connected to fellos. Feeling a bit better, but still shaken by the heavy cravings. Thought I had it under control with the alcohol abd then all of a sudden these cravings hit me so hard. Glad to be sober.
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  #14586  
Old 04-22-17, 08:08 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Went to a NA meeting this morning and connected to fellos. Feeling a bit better, but still shaken by the heavy cravings. Thought I had it under control with the alcohol abd then all of a sudden these cravings hit me so hard. Glad to be sober.
Congratulations Hermus. Way to go. Dag man, you did it. You had a bunch of people here turning blue. Congratulations again. Glad to have you back.
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  #14587  
Old 04-22-17, 08:12 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Congratulations Hermus. Way to go. Dag man, you did it. You had a bunch of people here turning blue. Congratulations again. Glad to have you back.
At least I now know that I know what to do when this happens.
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  #14588  
Old 04-22-17, 08:18 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

ok, so don't decide to polish a black purse, when wearing light jeans...
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  #14589  
Old 04-22-17, 08:33 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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ok, so don't decide to polish a black purse, when wearing light jeans...
u r 2 cute
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  #14590  
Old 04-22-17, 09:23 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

A fellow who is a cocaine addict relapsed terribly. Last night he reached out to me and he appeared clean, although he seemed physically in a bad shape. Very bad skin and stuff. And through it all he managed to talk me through my cravings and offer me words of encouragement, which I think is very remarkable for someone who isn't clean himself. Offered him some encouraging words today, but that is where I need to draw the line. My own recovery doesn't allow me to get more involved at the moment, so I need to choose for myself. I can only offer him some loving-kindness and hope he will manage to pick up again.
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  #14591  
Old 04-22-17, 09:32 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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ok, so don't decide to polish a black purse, when wearing light jeans...
Don't touch your face!
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  #14592  
Old 04-22-17, 10:30 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Still terribly tired. Exhausted. Not even sure froM what. Also feeling diode dehydrated though I'm drinking gallons of water.

I'm quite stressed. Maybe that's tiring me out
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  #14593  
Old 04-22-17, 12:33 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Don't touch your face!
Its ok, i didnt
And actually it's not polish it's " protective wax" so it easîy was cleaned up with water.
I didnt know this though i didnt really look at the label too carefully when i bought it.

One of those moments when you think " this probably isnt a good idea to do this right now" but dont listen to yourself
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  #14594  
Old 04-22-17, 12:51 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

So yesterday I had two guests here and they both were talking about their dating life. At the stage I'm in in the process this was very triggering. So I thought I hadn't been clear enough about that myself. The girl who was here texted and asked how things were going, since she knew I had major cravings last night. I said that I maybe should have been more clear about that the discussions were triggering.

Her reply was that I did say that, but that she wasn't going to take that into consideration. I can't force them to, but it's still disappointing to me. I struggle a lot with it and I had hoped people who I would consider friends would have a little bit more compassion and understanding towards my struggle. I remained very polite and calm in my response, but also told her that if she felt that she doesn't need to take that into consideration I will not invite her again for the time to come. If she doesn't care about the fact that I was triggered so much that I nearly relapsed then I need to draw a line here.
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  #14595  
Old 04-22-17, 02:19 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III



Full marks for honesty.

Zero marks for consideration and kindness.

Good on you for drawing that line Hermus!!
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