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  #14596  
Old 04-22-17, 03:20 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Now people. I just want to sleep. I've got so much to do I don't have time to socialise.
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  #14597  
Old 04-22-17, 03:22 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Now people. I just want to sleep. I've got so much to do I don't have time to socialise.
I'm going for the Adderall Nap now!
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  #14598  
Old 04-22-17, 03:24 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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A fellow who is a cocaine addict relapsed terribly. Last night he reached out to me and he appeared clean, although he seemed physically in a bad shape. Very bad skin and stuff. And through it all he managed to talk me through my cravings and offer me words of encouragement, which I think is very remarkable for someone who isn't clean himself. Offered him some encouraging words today, but that is where I need to draw the line. My own recovery doesn't allow me to get more involved at the moment, so I need to choose for myself. I can only offer him some loving-kindness and hope he will manage to pick up again.

Coming into contact with someone who is under the influence or driven by cravings is an excellent therapeutic intervention for me.
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  #14599  
Old 04-22-17, 05:11 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Coming into contact with someone who is under the influence or driven by cravings is an excellent therapeutic intervention for me.
Actually it was sad. I could see his desperation. His face was full of scabs and he looked terrible. Then he showed a picture of how he looked a few months ago when he left rehab. He said he would go to a rehab again soon, which I hope he will do. He's a good guy, but with a difficult background. He deserves a better life for himself.
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Old 04-22-17, 07:22 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Actually it was sad. I could see his desperation. His face was full of scabs and he looked terrible. Then he showed a picture of how he looked a few months ago when he left rehab. He said he would go to a rehab again soon, which I hope he will do. He's a good guy, but with a difficult background. He deserves a better life for himself.
That's what I mean. Seeing what my future holds should I decide to do more research, isn't what I am looking forward to. I do not think I've got another recovery in me, either.
  #14601  
Old 04-22-17, 07:35 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I lost my momentum.
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  #14602  
Old 04-22-17, 07:50 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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I lost my momentum.
Good to see your name pop up. You've been missed!!!

Hope you find your momentum soon again! !
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  #14603  
Old 04-22-17, 07:55 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Right now I would love to read the never ending story again. As a child it used to.be one of my favourite books. There's no point getting the book though. I know is quit after a few pages. I don't have time to read it either.
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  #14604  
Old 04-22-17, 08:24 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Good to see your name pop up. You've been missed!!!

Hope you find your momentum soon again! !
Thank you! I'm trying. I've been a slug the last few days. I'm trying to push through it today.

I've started a few replies on the forum this weekend but stopped half way through. It wasn't that I changed my mind or didn't want to post- I keep getting distracted.
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  #14605  
Old 04-22-17, 08:28 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Right now I would love to read the never ending story again. As a child it used to.be one of my favourite books. There's no point getting the book though. I know is quit after a few pages. I don't have time to read it either.
I used to read a lot but I've had a hard time starting anything lately. I bought a copy of Gaiman's Norse Myth and carried it around with me for three days before I broke down and got the audio version.
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  #14606  
Old 04-22-17, 08:47 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Right now I would love to read the never ending story again. As a child it used to.be one of my favourite books. There's no point getting the book though. I know is quit after a few pages. I don't have time to read it either.
For awhile waaaaay back it seemed every single time I turned the tv on, there was the flying dog and that song, In Your Wildest Dreams (?) I never actually watched the movie though.
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  #14607  
Old 04-22-17, 09:08 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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For awhile waaaaay back it seemed every single time I turned the tv on, there was the flying dog and that song...
Step away from the bong, dearie, and let's do a pill count for you.


Lulz,
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  #14608  
Old 04-23-17, 07:37 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I enjoy the radio for itself, but I realize that I use the radio as a kind of benzo where the sound of human voices speaking keeps the overwhelming feeling of loneliness at bay.


Cheers,
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  #14609  
Old 04-23-17, 08:14 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I gave myself Gastritis by taking NSAIDs when I shouldnt have. The pain made my BP spike. I should learn by now that its a stupid Idea.
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  #14610  
Old 04-23-17, 09:29 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

That sound horrible Sweets

(((Gentle Hug)))

...
I'm having sleeping issues as usual. I slept pretty well yesterday...but for the 2 or 3 days before that, I was only getting 1-3 hours of sleep each day.
I was ready to go to bed early last night...and all the sudden it's 7:15 in the morning, and yet again...no sleep.
I'll hopefully get at least a couple of hours of sleep here shortly...but it's hard to say.

...
I change once or twice a year. I don't know what it is, or if everyone does it...or what. I just know that a month or so back I woke up one day and I just felt a shift in who I was. Like I wasn't who I was before, and I wasn't sure how to be that person again. I felt the shift here on these forums (which is when I left)...and I felt the shift big time in my weekly support group I'm a part of...I talked to them about it last week. It's just a bit frustrating.

...
And the last thing I want to get off my chest here...is adderall.
I've been taking double my doses all week...and though I'm pretty sure my pill doc will be okay with me doing so (I see her tomorrow)...I still feel at odds about it.
It also frustrates me, that the only time I feel as if I can even be halfway functional anymore...is while I've got enough adderall in me.
And with all the stuff going on with me (my ADD, hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, diabetes, poor eating choices, and now all the stress I'm having about my parent's health)...the dose I'm on just doesn't do anything for me.
So I've been doubling my doses when I take them. And dam...I remember why I love adderall all over again. I feel awake...there's an inner calmness, I feel focused, **** gets done, I'm not completely stuck in bed like a slug...I can actually get up and move a bit.

...
Okay. I'm going to go try and get my daily 2 hours of sleep now. xP
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