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  #14611  
Old 04-23-17, 10:25 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I gave myself Gastritis by taking NSAIDs when I shouldnt have. The pain made my BP spike. I should learn by now that its a stupid Idea.
A few years ago when I was having chronic daily headache, I was taking far too
many ibuprofen and excedrin which has tylenol in it. I was blaming my high BP
on the pain, but when I stopped taking all of them for 3 days my BP returned to
normal though I still had the headaches.

I've heard tv and radio docs tell people that it's fine to take these OTC meds all
day every day ... and I want to scream "Don't listen!"

I was very lucky I didn't have a stroke or a heart attack, my blood pressure was
that high ... and lucky I didn't get gastritis either ... and angry that doctors
seem unaware of the connection between these meds and these issues.

Hope you're better soon!
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  #14612  
Old 04-23-17, 11:55 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Discussions over text are the mother of all f ups. Yesterday I had an argument with a friend over text about something that happened on Friday. Today I got into an argument with another friend over that discussion. Decided to call and that cleared things up immediately.
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  #14613  
Old 04-23-17, 02:39 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Am I doing the "right thing", putting Ebony's needs above my family's wants?

They want me to find a partner but I don't honestly feel Ebony would cope with having anyone new permanently in the house.

Considering what we believe happened to Ebony anyways.

Is it a bad thing to want Ebony to be happy, even if it means I never do what my family want and find a partner and have kids? Mum's convinced if Ebony was to actually see a baby when it was crying she'd be fine with it but I'm not convinced.
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  #14614  
Old 04-23-17, 03:30 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
Am I doing the "right thing", putting Ebony's needs above my family's wants?

They want me to find a partner but I don't honestly feel Ebony would cope with having anyone new permanently in the house.

Considering what we believe happened to Ebony anyways.

Is it a bad thing to want Ebony to be happy, even if it means I never do what my family want and find a partner and have kids? Mum's convinced if Ebony was to actually see a baby when it was crying she'd be fine with it but I'm not convinced.
Is your family wanting to find you a partner really a good reason for finding someone? Isn't this about you, what you want in life and where you stand? At the same time is Ebony really a good reason to not find a partner? If you would find a partner, couldn't you introduce him to Ebony slowly?

Where is Star in all of this? What are your wants and needs?
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  #14615  
Old 04-23-17, 03:36 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
Is your family wanting to find you a partner really a good reason for finding someone? Isn't this about you, what you want in life and where you stand? At the same time is Ebony really a good reason to not find a partner? If you would find a partner, couldn't you introduce him to Ebony slowly?

Where is Star in all of this? What are your wants and needs?
For myself, although I sometimes feel it would be nice to have someone there for me, it's not really a priority for me at the moment. Animal welfare is currently my priority (the rescue kennels and Ebony and Tigger)

Sadly, when I did seriously consider looking for someone if I wanted to take it slowly everyone gave the ultimatum "go at our pace or we're off" which is another concern I have (if that makes sense), if I go at someone else's pace and don't gradually introduce Ebony to the idea of a new person, it would set Ebony back and the potential partner might decide she's a nasty animal and won't even make the effort to win her round.

And even if I did meet anyone, kids are out of the question because as I said if Ebony hears a baby crying she freaks out and literally cowers and shakes if she can't get away from the noise. Eyes wide and gets really stressed/upset

I mean, quiet kids Ebony's shown herself to be okay with (workmates kids because they sit quietly and let Ebony see who they are and have a sniff of them before they try to stroke her, so by doing that they have won Ebony round)

Most adults though, if Ebony doesn't know them, she at best hangs back at the other end of the room and tries to avoid the person if they try and walk over to her, at worst she'll run off and tuck herself up in bed. If she really does not like the person she has been known to actually growl at them.
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  #14616  
Old 04-23-17, 03:37 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
For myself, although I sometimes feel it would be nice to have someone there for me, it's not really a priority for me at the moment. Animal welfare is currently my priority (the rescue kennels and Ebony and Tigger)
Then you've got your answer, right? Do you tell this to your family when they are talking about it?
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  #14617  
Old 04-23-17, 03:47 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Then you've got your answer, right? Do you tell this to your family when they are talking about it?
They know Ebony and Tigger are my priority but they are determined for me to find a partner and give them grandkids, I gave up trying to get through to them that it ain't happening.

I edited above post to say more.
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  #14618  
Old 04-23-17, 04:04 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
For myself, although I sometimes feel it would be nice to have someone there for me, it's not really a priority for me at the moment. Animal welfare is currently my priority (the rescue kennels and Ebony and Tigger)

Sadly, when I did seriously consider looking for someone if I wanted to take it slowly everyone gave the ultimatum "go at our pace or we're off" which is another concern I have (if that makes sense), if I go at someone else's pace and don't gradually introduce Ebony to the idea of a new person, it would set Ebony back and the potential partner might decide she's a nasty animal and won't even make the effort to win her round.
It may sound harsh and I feel sad for you that you will always meet these guys. But my take on it is that only if you stop wanting to please everyone else, things will change. When you are sending out so much signals that you are willing to please everyone before yourself, this will attract guys who are looking for someone that is willing to please them all the time. The types who demand that you will go at their pace and don't respect your boundaries.

Learn to please yourself first, before pleasing anybody else. Learn to feel confident about yourself and be assertive about what you want. That will be a hell of a job already. As long as you will be pleasing others, you will not even find the energy to learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself. I think you are a really wonderful woman, Star. But there may be an even more wonderful person inside you, waiting for you to let her out by caring about yourself first. When you let that wonderful woman out, there will be a wonderful guy for you.

Quote:
And even if I did meet anyone, kids are out of the question because as I said if Ebony hears a baby crying she freaks out and literally cowers and shakes if she can't get away from the noise. Eyes wide and gets really stressed/upset

I mean, quiet kids Ebony's shown herself to be okay with (workmates kids because they sit quietly and let Ebony see who they are and have a sniff of them before they try to stroke her, so by doing that they have won Ebony round)

Most adults though, if Ebony doesn't know them, she at best hangs back at the other end of the room and tries to avoid the person if they try and walk over to her, at worst she'll run off and tuck herself up in bed. If she really does not like the person she has been known to actually growl at them.
You have said that finding someone is not a priority for you, so I would say: Go with what feels right to you. But even if you find someone, kids are of a later concern. Not every guy wants kids or wants them in the near future.

It would be so beautiful if you learn to appreciate yourself as much as other people and Ebony and Tigger do.
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  #14619  
Old 04-23-17, 06:05 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
For myself, although I sometimes feel it would be nice to have someone there for me, it's not really a priority for me at the moment. Animal welfare is currently my priority (the rescue kennels and Ebony and Tigger)

Sadly, when I did seriously consider looking for someone if I wanted to take it slowly everyone gave the ultimatum "go at our pace or we're off" which is another concern I have (if that makes sense), if I go at someone else's pace and don't gradually introduce Ebony to the idea of a new person, it would set Ebony back and the potential partner might decide she's a nasty animal and won't even make the effort to win her round.

And even if I did meet anyone, kids are out of the question because as I said if Ebony hears a baby crying she freaks out and literally cowers and shakes if she can't get away from the noise. Eyes wide and gets really stressed/upset

I mean, quiet kids Ebony's shown herself to be okay with (workmates kids because they sit quietly and let Ebony see who they are and have a sniff of them before they try to stroke her, so by doing that they have won Ebony round)

Most adults though, if Ebony doesn't know them, she at best hangs back at the other end of the room and tries to avoid the person if they try and walk over to her, at worst she'll run off and tuck herself up in bed. If she really does not like the person she has been known to actually growl at them.
Ditto what Hermus said just above.

And someone who isn't willing to care about Ebony and Tigger because that's
what you care about isn't the right person so buh-bye to that person. There
are good people out there and a few of them are even men. Don't let Mum
push you into a relationship, but please be open to one happening. It really
could happen.
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  #14620  
Old 04-24-17, 08:31 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Recovery is tiring (but at least it's not as tiring as living in active addiction)
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  #14621  
Old 04-24-17, 08:53 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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  #14622  
Old 04-24-17, 09:04 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

There he is at my dad's memorial with his brother who is gone too. In the black tee with those gigantic hands.
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  #14623  
Old 04-24-17, 10:45 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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There he is at my dad's memorial with his brother who is gone too. In the black tee with those gigantic hands.
My brain is so strange. I don't always recognize family and neighbors
(prosopagnosia) but those two guys look familiar. So strange ...
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  #14624  
Old 04-24-17, 11:11 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Have to go to the GI doc today to hear about how Im such a unique case that Im basically screwed.
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  #14625  
Old 04-24-17, 11:21 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

I am tired of "fair weather friends". As soon as the sky darkens and the rain comes, they are out of there.
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