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  #1  
Old 08-11-18, 11:05 PM
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The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

So i dont want to challenge the dsm or anything like that. I just want to say how i feel

So mental illness is defined societally by impairment

I was very impaired in all areas

Now not so much. Mindfulness helped me catch the behaviors that impaired me according to the dsm

I was able to correct my behavior that impaired my work, home. And relationship (. Though im separation from my wife I donít believe its a mental health thing, in fAct quite the opposite)

So now i get done societal expectations. But my suffering remains in my head, emotionally dysregulation keeps me in a constant state of miserable turmoil

So by the dsm now, i may slide by real life impaired. But what about the emotional state of misery inlive in

Is it cured now?

I feel fraudulent

Just a vent. Not challenging anything specific
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  #2  
Old 08-11-18, 11:10 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

In some definitions, it's impairment and/or distress that makes symptoms a diagnosable disorder.
The distress is also important.
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Old 08-11-18, 11:16 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Thanks. Again im not saying anyone is wrong. If mental illness was easy to define wed do you it

Its more of my own invalidation im venting about

I feel invalidated because i have a good job home etc

Crazy right?

But it installs a sense of guilte in me even when chrinic negative emotions have me curled up like a baby piglet


The pain is intense and unrelatable
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Old 08-11-18, 11:20 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Do you feel like you don't deserve those things (good job home etc)?

Or that it's all very tenuous?

Or that others don't recognize your suffering because by outward appearances you've achieved some success?

Or...?
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Old 08-11-18, 11:21 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Short answer. Yes
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Old 08-12-18, 01:29 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

What is the thread definition of mental (in general).




M
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Old 08-12-18, 12:47 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

I agree with you. Not only is it invalidating, it's tremendously harmful for many imo. Especially women who as children often weren't as hyperactive and annoying to teachers/parents ("impaired") so they didn't get diagnosed as early. The earlier the diagnosis, the better off we are so women end up at a huge disadvantage.
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  #8  
Old 08-12-18, 06:24 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

that feeling of being fraudulent... Of not really deserving some of your very own credit even after you overcame so much...


Sounds a bit like the imposter syndrome at work, not?


after a life time of ADHD you get convinced that


- if you succeed at something it is always purely by luck, and never because of your effort or talents being applied

- if you fail at something however, its always your lack of effort, character or talent that is to blame


and by sucking up all that failure, while never really absorbing the success, that barrel of self esteem has been dry for quite a while...


And you feel like a fraud because... To the outside world you may pretend that you have much more self esteem than this tiny little bit of self esteem you actually feel comfortable with granting yourself.


Could it be that we fear our failures more then we value our successes?
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Old 08-12-18, 07:12 PM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
So i dont want to challenge the dsm or anything like that. I just want to say how i feel

So mental illness is defined societally by impairment

I was very impaired in all areas

Now not so much. Mindfulness helped me catch the behaviors that impaired me according to the dsm

I was able to correct my behavior that impaired my work, home. And relationship (. Though im separation from my wife I donít believe its a mental health thing, in fAct quite the opposite)

So now i get done societal expectations. But my suffering remains in my head, emotionally dysregulation keeps me in a constant state of miserable turmoil

So by the dsm now, i may slide by real life impaired. But what about the emotional state of misery inlive in

Is it cured now?

I feel fraudulent

Just a vent. Not challenging anything specific

You feel fraudulent because a lot of previous issues are settled except for emotional regulation that is all happening in your head so you feel like a fraud? Is it like you look fine on the outside but inside you are not ok?



If that is it, I very, very much felt that way for years and still do in several ways but I am so much better.



For me, I think time- a long period of time- and plodding along in life making outward strides helped. The therapy I had with various people wasn't all that helpful BUT if you can find someone who understands and you click with, then that could be what helps a lot with this last piece.
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Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.
Shame cannot survive being spoken. It can't survive empathy.

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Old 08-13-18, 12:27 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfound10 View Post
You feel fraudulent because a lot of previous issues are settled except for emotional regulation that is all happening in your head so you feel like a fraud? Is it like you look fine on the outside but inside you are not ok?



If that is it, I very, very much felt that way for years and still do in several ways but I am so much better.



For me, I think time- a long period of time- and plodding along in life making outward strides helped. The therapy I had with various people wasn't all that helpful BUT if you can find someone who understands and you click with, then that could be what helps a lot with this last piece.

Yes. Its like i put my body on like a suit and go function in society every day

It was relieved whe i found out about adhd being a self regulation issye and getting diagnosed about a decade or more ago

I was a mess. In and out of jail(all drugs. No violent or pervert). Failed out of school

I am very luckey i learned to function well in society and use parts of my adhd for positive

This place made a huge difference in many things

But my emotion problems stay. I have bad issues with that rejection disorde you have in ur cig. ( mine is diagnosed avoiant personality disorder but it is the same thing). Thats very much directly related to adhd
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  #11  
Old 08-13-18, 04:49 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Even though our coping changes and we can more succesfully function in daily life,


that does not mean that the underlying emotional dynamic and old forms of motivation have been adjusted, i think those are the last ones to follow suit, as the past still keeps them echoing on through fears and past traumas.


I know i was very much motivated by avoiding rejection, but as a result you end up seeing rejection everywhere leading to avoid it even more either through overachieving at work or avoiding social contacts in private life. A vicious circle.


And i think the best solution is to learn to accept rejection, and look for other sources of motivation that are less fear driven.


I know this will probably forever remain a "Work in Progress", so i am glad i learned to be kinder to myself and allow myself that it will never be "perfect".


I don't know about you but i have always been my own worst critic.
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Old 08-13-18, 10:46 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeClutter View Post
Even though our coping changes and we can more succesfully function in daily life,


that does not mean that the underlying emotional dynamic and old forms of motivation have been adjusted, i think those are the last ones to follow suit, as the past still keeps them echoing on through fears and past traumas.


I know i was very much motivated by avoiding rejection, but as a result you end up seeing rejection everywhere leading to avoid it even more either through overachieving at work or avoiding social contacts in private life. A vicious circle.


And i think the best solution is to learn to accept rejection, and look for other sources of motivation that are less fear driven.


I know this will probably forever remain a "Work in Progress", so i am glad i learned to be kinder to myself and allow myself that it will never be "perfect".


I don't know about you but i have always been my own worst critic.
Yes me too.

Ive tried just accepting the things. Worked about as well as just focusing. Lol

My issues donít really stem from trauma

Unless unregulated emotions themselves can be trauma in a way

Fear of emotional flooding. So i aviid them altogether
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Old 08-14-18, 07:44 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
Yes me too.

Ive tried just accepting the things. Worked about as well as just focusing. Lol

My issues don’t really stem from trauma

Unless unregulated emotions themselves can be trauma in a way

Fear of emotional flooding. So i aviid them altogether

I believe these unregulated emotions, and the shame that ussually results from them can build up to something resembling a trauma.


In this case though the trauma is internal, where we are not so much afraid of just an external event, but more so of the internal chaos and instability that we can experience from even fairly moderate external stresses. We fear our own sensitivity and condemn it fiercely.


Through avoidant coping, we may no longer experience this emotional flooding, but i think somehow it also silently grows our internal shame even further, enhancing these typical imposter/fraudulent feelings, as the shame and any "succesfull behaviour" that speaks against it will always remain at odds with eachother.


It remains impossible to build a homogenous self-image that way. So what is the solution here?


To build the internal endurance to accept and endure the emotional flooding, without acting on it impulsively?



To not judge it but grow enough internal endurance to just live with it and see it as part of who you are?
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Old 08-14-18, 09:45 AM
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Re: The definition of mental illness is somewhat invalidating to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeClutter View Post
I believe these unregulated emotions, and the shame that ussually results from them can build up to something resembling a trauma.


In this case though the trauma is internal, where we are not so much afraid of just an external event, but more so of the internal chaos and instability that we can experience from even fairly moderate external stresses. We fear our own sensitivity and condemn it fiercely.


Through avoidant coping, we may no longer experience this emotional flooding, but i think somehow it also silently grows our internal shame even further, enhancing these typical imposter/fraudulent feelings, as the shame and any "succesfull behaviour" that speaks against it will always remain at odds with eachother.


It remains impossible to build a homogenous self-image that way. So what is the solution here?


To build the internal endurance to accept and endure the emotional flooding, without acting on it impulsively?



To not judge it but grow enough internal endurance to just live with it and see it as part of who you are?
Ive tried many things to work on emotional regulation. Works at times
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